
The War for Kindness
Building Empathy in a Fractured World
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Narrated by:
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Jamil Zaki
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By:
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Jamil Zaki
About this listen
“In this masterpiece, Jamil Zaki weaves together the very latest science with stories that will stay in your heart forever.” (Angela Duckworth, author of Grit)
Empathy is in short supply. We struggle to understand people who aren’t like us, but find it easy to hate them. Studies show that we are less caring than we were even 30 years ago. In 2006, Barack Obama said that the United States was suffering from an “empathy deficit.” Since then, things seem to have only gotten worse.
It doesn’t have to be this way. In this groundbreaking book, Jamil Zaki shares cutting-edge research, including experiments from his own lab, showing that empathy is not a fixed trait - something we’re born with or not - but rather a skill that can be strengthened through effort.
He also tells the stories of people who embody this new perspective, fighting for kindness in the most difficult of circumstances. We meet a former neo-Nazi who is now helping extract people from hate groups, ex-prisoners discussing novels with the judge who sentenced them, Washington police officers changing their culture to decrease violence among their ranks, and NICU nurses fine-tuning their empathy so that they don’t succumb to burnout.
Written with clarity and passion, The War for Kindness is an inspiring call to action. The future may depend on whether we accept the challenge.
Praise for The War for Kindness:
“A wide-ranging practical guide to making the world better.” (NPR)
“Relating anecdotes and test cases from his fellow researchers, news events and the imaginary world of literature and entertainment, Zaki makes a vital case for ‘fighting for kindness.’ ...If he’s right - and after reading The War for Kindness, you’ll probably think so - Zaki’s work is right on time.” (San Francisco Chronicle)
“In this landmark book, Jamil Zaki gives us a revolutionary perspective on empathy: Empathy can be developed, and, when it is, people, relationships, organizations, and cultures are changed.” (Carol Dweck, author of Mindset)
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Critic reviews
“In a time when it seems empathy is a lost cause and compassion is a dying art, it may not be too late to revive the better angels of our nature. Jamil Zaki is one of the brightest lights in psychology, and in this gripping book he shows that kindness is not a sign of weakness but a source of strength.” (Adam Grant, author of Give and Take and Originals)
"Lucid, stimulating...[The War for Kindness aims] to challenge antiquated views of the brain and human behavior.... Zaki issues a call for concerted action to build empathy in a world he sees as fractured and threatened by escalating tribalism, cruelty, and isolation.” (The American Scholar)
“Jamil Zaki makes the most entertainingly readable argument for cultivating empathy that I’ve read. Seamlessly stitching together his own experiences with fascinating stories and research from around the globe, Jamil lays out the irrefutable evidence for what we may already instinctively be sensing...that in these uncertain times, our ability to cultivate empathy for one another is not only possible, it’s necessary. A must read for anyone willing to peek under the hood of the human heart.” (Amanda Palmer)
“With alarming evidence of our society's rapidly diminishing empathy, Zaki draws on decades of clinical research, along with experiments conducted at his lab, to consider the forces that impact our modern condition… [a] well-researched call to action and an urgent message.” (Kirkus Reviews)
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Widely misleading
- By Kevin Richardson on 01-30-22
By: Leonard Mlodinow
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Some Assembly Required
- Decoding Four Billion Years of Life, from Ancient Fossils to DNA
- By: Neil Shubin
- Narrated by: Marc Cashman
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Over billions of years, ancient fish evolved to walk on land, reptiles transformed into birds that fly, and apelike primates evolved into humans that walk on two legs, talk, and write. For more than a century, paleontologists have traveled the globe to find fossils that show how such changes have happened.
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Interesting but thin. ANNOYING narration
- By MSB on 04-10-20
By: Neil Shubin
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Restoring the Kinship Worldview
- Indigenous Voices Introduce 28 Precepts for Rebalancing Life on Planet Earth
- By: Wahinkpe Topa (Four Arrows), Darcia Narváez PhD
- Narrated by: Wahinkpe Topa (Four Arrows), Darcia Narváez PhD, Sage Ryan
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Indigenous worldviews, and the knowledge they confer, are critical for human survival and the wellbeing of future generations. Wahinkpe Topa (Four Arrows) and Darcia Narvaez present and discuss 28 powerful excerpted passages from Indigenous leaders, including Mourning Dove, Robin Wall Kimmerer, Winona LaDuke, and Xiuhtezcatl Martinez.
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Fantastic Paradigm/Perspective shifting masterpiece of ancient wisdoms
- By Jeanette F on 06-29-25
By: Wahinkpe Topa (Four Arrows), and others
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Mirrors in the Earth
- Reflections on Self-Healing from the Living World
- By: Asia Suler
- Narrated by: Asia Suler
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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A nature therapy session for the soul—encounter the benevolence of the living world through 12 essays on the Earth-healing powers of self-compassion and empathy.
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amazing feel good book!
- By April on 04-01-25
By: Asia Suler
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You Look Like a Thing and I Love You
- How Artificial Intelligence Works and Why It's Making the World a Weirder Place
- By: Janelle Shane
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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"You look like a thing and I love you" is one of the best pickup lines ever...according to an artificial intelligence trained by scientist Janelle Shane, creator of the popular blog AI Weirdness. She creates silly AIs that learn how to name paint colors, create the best recipes, and even flirt (badly) with humans — all to understand the technology that governs so much of our daily lives.
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Funny and smart, but biased on bias
- By Razter on 11-11-19
By: Janelle Shane
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Move Like Water
- My Story of the Sea
- By: Hannah Stowe
- Narrated by: Anna Rust
- Length: 6 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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As a young girl, Hannah Stowe was raised at the tide’s edge on the Pembrokeshire coast of Wales, falling asleep to the sweep of the lighthouse beam. Now in her midtwenties, working as a marine biologist and sailor, Stowe draws on her professional experiences sailing tens of thousands of miles in the North Sea, North Atlantic, Mediterranean, Celtic Sea, and the Caribbean to explore the human relationship with wild waters. Why is it, she asks, that she and so many others have been drawn to life at sea—and what might the water around us be able to teach us?
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Every sentence is so beautiful
- By Raleigh on 11-16-23
By: Hannah Stowe
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Diagnosis
- Solving the Most Baffling Medical Mysteries
- By: Lisa Sanders
- Narrated by: Lisa Sanders
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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As a Yale School of Medicine physician, the New York Times best-selling author of Every Patient Tells a Story, and an inspiration and adviser for the hit Fox TV drama, House, M.D., Lisa Sanders has seen it all. And yet, she is often confounded by the cases she describes in her column: unexpected collections of symptoms that she and other physicians struggle to diagnose. Dr. Sanders shows how making the right diagnosis requires expertise, painstaking procedure, and sometimes a little luck.
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Repetitive from her previous work
- By anon on 03-08-21
By: Lisa Sanders
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Life's Edge
- The Search for What It Means to Be Alive
- By: Carl Zimmer
- Narrated by: Joe Ochman
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Carl Zimmer investigates one of the biggest questions of all: What is life? The answer seems obvious until you try to seriously answer it. Is the apple sitting on your kitchen counter alive, or is only the apple tree it came from deserving of the word? If we can’t answer that question here on Earth, how will we know when and if we discover alien life on other worlds? The question hangs over some of society’s most charged conflicts - whether a fertilized egg is a living person, for example, and when we ought to declare a person legally dead.
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What is Life?
- By Shane S Shull on 04-29-21
By: Carl Zimmer
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Where the Water Goes
- Life and Death Along the Colorado River
- By: David Owen
- Narrated by: Fred Sanders
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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The Colorado River is an essential resource for a surprisingly large part of the United States, and every gallon that flows down it is owned or claimed by someone. David Owen traces all that water from the Colorado’s headwaters to its parched terminus, once a verdant wetland but now a million-acre desert. He takes listeners on an adventure downriver, along a labyrinth of waterways, reservoirs, power plants, farms, fracking sites, ghost towns, and RV parks, to the spot near the US-Mexico border where the river runs dry.
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Water issues are never about only water.
- By Bonny on 08-20-17
By: David Owen
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Fundamentals
- Ten Keys to Reality
- By: Frank Wilczek
- Narrated by: Sean Patrick Hopkins, Frank Wilczek
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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One of our great contemporary scientists reveals the 10 profound insights that illuminate what everyone should know about the physical world.
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Is this for kindergarteners?
- By James S. on 01-24-21
By: Frank Wilczek
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Orwell's Roses
- By: Rebecca Solnit
- Narrated by: Rebecca Solnit
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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“In the spring of 1936, a writer planted roses.” So begins Rebecca Solnit’s new book, a reflection on George Orwell’s passionate gardening and the way that his involvement with plants, particularly flowers, illuminates his other commitments as a writer and antifascist, and on the intertwined politics of nature and power. Sparked by her unexpected encounter with the roses he reportedly planted in 1936, Solnit’s account of this overlooked aspect of Orwell’s life journeys through his writing and his actions.
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Absolutely Awful!
- By asdf on 04-06-22
By: Rebecca Solnit
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Flirting with Danger
- The Mysterious Life of Marguerite Harrison, Socialite Spy
- By: Janet Wallach
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Born a privileged child of America’s Gilded Age, Marguerite Harrison rebelled against her mother’s ambitions, married the man she loved, was widowed at thirty-seven, and set off on a life of adventure. Hired as a society reporter, when America entered World War I she applied to Military Intelligence to work as a spy. Over a decade, Harrison’s mysterious adventures took her to Europe, Baghdad, and the Far East, as a socialite, secret agent, and documentary filmmaker. Janet Wallach captures Harrison’s daring and glamour in this stranger-than-fiction history of a woman drawn to the impossible.
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Interesting story bogged down by monotony of tone and pacing
- By brian on 10-16-23
By: Janet Wallach
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The Brain
- The Story of You
- By: David Eagleman
- Narrated by: David Eagleman
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Locked in the silence and darkness of your skull, your brain fashions the rich narratives of your reality and your identity. Join renowned neuroscientist David Eagleman for a journey into the questions at the mysterious heart of our existence. What is reality? Who are “you”? How do you make decisions? Why does your brain need other people? How is technology poised to change what it means to be human?
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Awe-inspiring book, but not Eagleman's best
- By Neuron on 10-14-15
By: David Eagleman
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Through Two Doors at Once
- The Elegant Experiment That Captures the Enigma of Our Quantum Reality
- By: Anil Ananthaswamy
- Narrated by: René Ruiz
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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The intellectual adventure story of the "double-slit" experiment, showing how a sunbeam split into two paths first challenged our understanding of light and then the nature of reality itself - and continues to almost 200 years later. Through Two Doors at Once celebrates the elegant simplicity of an iconic experiment and its profound reach. With his extraordinarily gifted eloquence, Anil Ananthaswamy travels around the world, through history and down to the smallest scales of physical reality we have yet fathomed. It is the most fantastic voyage you can take.
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Excellent exposition of the conundrum
- By GLYNN A on 08-14-18
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To Boldly Grow
- Finding Joy, Adventure, and Dinner in Your Own Backyard
- By: Tamar Haspel
- Narrated by: Tamar Haspel
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Journalist and self-proclaimed “crappy gardener” Tamar Haspel is on a mission: to show us that raising or gathering our own food is not as hard as it’s often made out to be. When she and her husband move from Manhattan to two acres on Cape Cod, they decide to adopt a more active approach to their diet: raising chickens, growing tomatoes, even foraging for mushrooms and hunting their own meat. They have more ambition than practical know-how, but that’s not about to stop them from trying…even if sometimes their reach exceeds their (often muddy) grasp.
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Funny, Smart, and Growth Encouraging
- By CLF on 03-28-23
By: Tamar Haspel
everyone should read this
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I have recommended this book to several others; those working in healthcare, those working in social justice, and anyone else I know that wants to facilitate change for us all.
Thank you for the time and study, thank you for acknowledging those that are working to make changes and those that may need to be striving harder. I did a self check several times while listening to the book; even skipped backwards to let things sink in.
State of Contemplation
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Uplifting mix of psychology and humanization
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The audiobook is read by the author - he does a great job.
A great read on empathy in our lives
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Factors provided that promote or demote kindness
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Great but not a practical guide
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Interesting and much-needed
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Building Empathy in an Audible World
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well written and interesting
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I️ have always found psychology, neurobiology, neuroscience, and neurological mechanisms fascinating and I️ love that Dr. Zaki’s research melds those areas with the active practices of kindness and empathy.
This book reviews studies that illustrate how active practices of empathy change our neuroplasticity and patterns of behavior and how, in case studies, it has changed how individuals approach situations and other people differently than they would have without focusing on empathy and kindness.
This book is imperative in today’s world. It focuses on social behavior and conflict surrounding police violence, recidivism, perceived conformity, extremist groups, and caretaker burnout, amongst many other topics. Dr. Zaki not only approaches this book with a professional level of presenting his and his colleagues’ findings, but also on a personal level with stories of his experience with doctors’ empathy in the treatment of his own daughter in the NICU.
I️ HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who is willing to openmindedly listen (or if you’re not openmindedly approaching this book, then maybe you’ll at least pick up bits and pieces of useful information).
One of my best, most impactful reads in a long time.
Everyone should read or listen to this book
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