
Platonic
How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends
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Narrated by:
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Marisa G. Franco PhD
About this listen
Instant New York Times bestseller
Is understanding the science of attachment the key to building lasting friendships and finding “your people” in an ever-more-fragmented world?
How do we make and keep friends in an era of distraction, burnout, and chaos, especially in a society that often prizes romantic love at the expense of other relationships? In Platonic, Dr. Marisa G. Franco unpacks the latest, often counterintuitive findings about the bonds between us—for example, why your friends aren’t texting you back (it’s not because they hate you!), and the myth of “friendships happening organically” (making friends, like cultivating any relationship, requires effort!). As Dr. Franco explains, to make and keep friends you must understand your attachment style—secure, anxious, or avoidant: it is the key to unlocking what’s working (and what’s failing) in your friendships.
Making new friends, and deepening longstanding relationships, is possible at any age—in fact, it’s essential. The good news: there are specific, research-based ways to improve the number and quality of your connections using the insights of attachment theory and the latest scientific research on friendship. Platonic provides a clear and actionable blueprint for forging strong, lasting connections with others—and for becoming our happiest, most fulfilled selves in the process.
©2022 Marisa G. Franco (P)2022 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Dr. Marisa G. Franco and Platonic have been invaluable guides on my journey to nurture and deepen my friendships. Her advice is wise, concrete, and effective—and my friendships are better for it.”—Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed, Founder of Together Rising
“Dr. Franco’s book ‘Platonic’ is an ode to modern friendship, complete with a practical guide to making and keeping friends. It reminds us of the importance of platonic love in today’s society—bucking the notion that romantic love trumps everything else in our lives…the depth of research Ms. Franco weaves into the book sheds light onto an aspect of our world that—like an old and trusted pal—it may be too easy to take for granted.”—Wall Street Journal
"A remarkable examination of the epidemic of loneliness and sound advice for alleviating it...A pleasing mix of research, advice, and humor, this book is a useful tonic to a key social ailment."—Kirkus Reviews (starred)
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-
Story
From behavioral scientists to besties, Kate draws upon the extraordinary research from academics, scientists, and psychotherapists, and stories from friends of friends, strangers from the Internet, and her “squad” to get to the bottom of these and other facets of friendship. For fans of Susan Cain’s Quiet and Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic, The Friendship Cure is a fascinating blend of accessible “smart thinking,” investigative journalism, pop culture, and memoir for anyone trying to navigate this lonely world, written with the wit, charm, and bite of a fresh voice.
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Beautiful and informative.
- By Amazon Customer on 08-20-22
By: Kate Leaver
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Frientimacy
- How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
- By: Shasta Nelson
- Narrated by: Robin Eller
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In Frientimacy, award-winning speaker Shasta Nelson shows how anyone can form stronger, more meaningful friendships, marked by a level of trust she calls "frientimacy". Shasta explores the most common complaints and conflicts facing female friendships today, and lays out strategies for overcoming these pitfalls to create deeper, supportive relationships that last for the long-term.
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I didn't finish it, but I still recommend it
- By Emily on 10-21-17
By: Shasta Nelson
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The Art of Showing Up
- How to Be There for Yourself and Your People
- By: Rachel Wilkerson Miller
- Narrated by: Robin Eller
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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When it comes to adult friendships, we’re woefully inept: We barely manage to show up for our own commitments, let alone maintain our relationships. What’s more, we’re living in an uncharted social landscape with new conventions on how to relate - one where actual phone calls are reserved for Mom (if anyone), “dropping in” is unheard-of, and “flaking out” is routine.
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Just what I needed!
- By Gari Dozo on 04-29-23
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Fighting for Our Friendships
- The Science and Art of Conflict and Connection in Women's Relationships
- By: Danielle Bayard Jackson
- Narrated by: Danielle Bayard Jackson
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Bumble BFF’s resident friend expert identifies the 9 most common conflict types in women's platonic relationships, sharing practical strategies to resolve issues and strengthen ties.
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Soooo relatable
- By Chy-Lea Hicks on 04-17-25
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Friends
- Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationships
- By: Robin Dunbar
- Narrated by: Hugh Kermode
- Length: 12 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Robin Dunbar is the world-renowned psychologist and author who famously discovered Dunbar's number: how our capacity for friendship is limited to around 150 people. In Friends, he looks at friendship in the round, at the way different types of friendship and family relationships intersect, or at the complex of psychological and behavioural mechanisms that underpin friendships and make them possible - and just how complicated the business of making and keeping friends actually is.
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Insightful
- By L. SANTOS on 08-22-22
By: Robin Dunbar
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Friendships Don't Just Happen!
- The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends
- By: Shasta Nelson
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Every woman is searching for a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life. Many realize the significant role that an intimate, tightly knit circle of friends plays in creating a more fulfilling life, but with hectic schedules, frequent moves, and life changes, it's more important than ever for women to establish natural, meaningful friendships. In Friendships Don't Just Happen!, Shasta Nelson, friendship expert and CEO of GirlFriendCircles.com, reveals the most important proven steps, processes, and secrets vital to establishing the five different levels of friendships.
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Hope to revise this review soon...
- By Kristina M on 01-05-20
By: Shasta Nelson
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Belong
- Find Your People, Create Community & Live a More Connected Life
- By: Radha Agrawal
- Narrated by: Radha Agrawal
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s the great paradox of the digital age, what Radha Agrawal calls “community confusion” - the internet connects us to hundreds, thousands, even millions of people, and yet we feel more isolated than ever, with one in four Americans saying they have zero friends to confide in. Where are our people? The answer is found in Belong, a highly energetic guide to discovering where and with whom you fit.
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Short and simple explanation for something difficult.
- By Marina E Kirkland on 12-02-19
By: Radha Agrawal
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Friendship in the Age of Loneliness
- An Optimist's Guide to Connection
- By: Adam Smiley Poswolsky
- Narrated by: Adam Smiley Poswolsky
- Length: 5 hrs
- Unabridged
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We are lonelier than ever. The average American hasn't made a new friend in the last five years. Research has shown that people with close friends are happier, healthier, and live longer than people who lack strong social bonds. But why - when we are seemingly more connected than ever before - can it feel so difficult to keep those bonds alive and well? Why do we spend only four percent of our time with friends? In this warm, inspiring guide, Adam "Smiley" Poswolsky proposes a new solution for the mounting pressures of modern life: Focus on your friendships.
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This Gave Me Hope
- By Rebekah/James on 07-31-21
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Friendship
- The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life's Fundamental Bond
- By: Lydia Denworth
- Narrated by: Tiffany Morgan
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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With warmth and compassion, Denworth weaves together past and present, field biology and cutting-edge neuroscience, to show how our bodies and minds are designed to make friends, the process by which social bonds develop, and how a drive for friendship underpins human (and nonhuman) society. With its refreshingly optimistic vision of the evolution of human nature, this book puts friendship at the center of our lives.
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The answer to most of our ills & pain
- By Brian on 02-22-20
By: Lydia Denworth
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Find Your People
- Building Deep Community in a Lonely World
- By: Jennie Allen
- Narrated by: Jennie Allen
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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In a world that's both more connected and more isolating than ever before, we’re often tempted to do life alone, whether because we’re so busy or because relationships feel risky and hard. But science confirms that consistent, meaningful connection with others has a powerful impact on our well-being. We are meant to live known and loved. But so many are hiding behind emotional walls that we’re experiencing an epidemic of loneliness. In Find Your People, you’ll discover exactly how to dive into the deep end and experience the full wonder of community.
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Christian
- By E. Wood on 04-08-22
By: Jennie Allen
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Modern Friendship
- How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections
- By: Anna Goldfarb
- Narrated by: Anna Goldfarb
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Modern friendships can be painfully ambiguous. But they don’t have to be. Journalist Anna Goldfarb has your back. “It’s understandable if your friendships are floundering. You’re up against historically new forces that we, as a culture, have no precedent for navigating,” she says. With Modern Friendship, Anna shares a manual for understanding what is pushing our friendships to the brink and provides actionable advice for forming authentic, enduring connections today.
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Wish there was a pdf included
- By Kat Rose on 06-24-24
By: Anna Goldfarb
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Radical Friendship
- Seven Ways to Love Yourself and Find Your People in an Unjust World
- By: Kate Johnson
- Narrated by: Kate Johnson
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Grounded in the Buddha’s teachings on spiritual friendship, Radical Friendship shares seven strategies to help us embody our deepest values in all of our relationships. Drawing on her experiences as a leading meditation teacher, as well as personal stories of growing up multiracial in a racist world, Kate Johnson brings a fresh take on time-honored wisdom to help us connect more authentically with ourselves, with our friends and family, and within our communities.
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The friend I I need
- By Mirza K on 03-07-23
By: Kate Johnson
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Relational Intelligence
- The People Skills You Need for the Life of Purpose You Want
- By: Dharius Daniels, Judah Smith
- Narrated by: Barry Scott, Gabe Wicks - foreword
- Length: 5 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Relational Intelligence is your action plan for getting smart about your purpose partners. Relationships were God's idea, writes Daniels, and when we understand and apply what God has to say about them we end up avoiding unnecessary relational turmoil, advancing in all areas of our life, and accomplishing our God-given purpose. When your purpose is on the line, the cost of relational unintelligence is too great to pay. In this audiobook, you will explore and learn how to activate the relational intelligence you need for the life of purpose you want.
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Fantastic book, not so great reader
- By thtsmee52 on 03-08-20
By: Dharius Daniels, and others
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The Joy of Connections
- 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life
- By: Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer, Allison Gilbert - contributor, Pierre Lehu - contributor
- Narrated by: Tovah Feldshuh, Allison Gilbert, Pierre Lehu
- Length: 3 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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When Surgeon General Vivek Murthy sounded the alarm that loneliness “represents an urgent public health concern”—exacerbated by social media overuse, the residual effects of the pandemic, and the lack of meaningful relationships—trusted therapist Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer knew that her unique perspective and expertise could help. Long beloved for breaking stigmas around sexual problems, Dr. Ruth made it her mission to help individuals break free from the bonds of hopelessness and isolation.
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Dr Ruth’s Goodbye message to the lonely
- By JustMe on 11-17-24
By: Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer, and others
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The Lonely Century
- How to Restore Human Connection in a World that's Pulling Apart
- By: Noreena Hertz
- Narrated by: Noreena Hertz
- Length: 11 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Loneliness has become the defining condition of the 21st century. It is damaging our health, our wealth, and our happiness and even threatening our democracy. Never has it been more pervasive or more widespread, but never has there been more that we can do about it.
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Great book that doesn't demonize technology
- By chris boutte on 02-13-21
By: Noreena Hertz
What listeners say about Platonic
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- Kieyel
- 10-03-22
A better person 💕✨
Thank you for your views on friendship! This has helped me not only with my relationship and friendships but my connection with myself. I will practice being a good friend to myself and others daily because of this book. I’ll be going to get an actual copy of this book for my personal library!
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- Gabby Bankston
- 02-02-23
Great Read!
Great in so many ways! Definitely multi-genre. This book shines a light on so many unspoken and ignored topics. A good spark for meaningful conversations
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- Jen S
- 04-08-23
Really helpful
This was such a great book tackling a really difficult topic for most adults. I found so many helpful tips and realized some unconscious mistakes I was making while trying to grow my friend group as an adult. Very grateful for the insight.
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- Marney Kelley
- 05-10-23
Really great book!
This book includes research and addresses current cultural issues as well as historical information. Must read!
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- Brian
- 07-14-23
Really enjoyed it
I thought the historical references are particularly interesting. It’s sad that close friendship between men today have been conflated with homo-hysteria. I count myself lucky to have many close friendships with men. The author does a really great job, narrating the book which is rare. Definitely recommended!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Amanda Nace
- 10-09-22
So nice I listened twice
And I may listen a third time. After a recent friend breakup that left me feeling disheartened, I found this book and it has given me inspiration to be a better friend, make and keep boundaries and get out and meet new friends with loving intention. The history of friendship peppered with anecdotal stories made it all the more interesting. Her narration makes the book as well since you can hear her passion and feel for the topic. 10 outta 10!
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- Anonymous User
- 10-13-22
Intellectual and human
This book skillfully combines hard data with real life and makes the psychology of relationship accessible to all through plain, beautiful language.
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- TRACI
- 12-17-22
Loved loved loved
Wow! What a wonderful book, one I will read over and over as I have struggled and relate with the examples of others written about in this book, it is eye opening and extremely motivational. Written so well you won’t be able to put it down, Thank you , your research is going to change so many lives!
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- Alice
- 08-03-23
Loved this book!
So good! Culture changing! If we can shift to nuturing all of our connections, loneliness will improve in this country
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- V.Vivien
- 03-31-24
Intriguing Book About the Science of Friendship
There is so much I love about this book! It really dives into the science behind platonic friendships, and the benefits that are social connections can have to our lives. It also talks about different attachment styles, and ways that I had never learned about before. Overall, I’m walking away after reading this book knowing a lot more about the power of connection and why it’s important for me to invest in my friendships.
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