
If We Break
A Memoir of Marriage, Addiction, and Healing
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Narrated by:
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Kathleen Buhle
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By:
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Kathleen Buhle
About this listen
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • Kathleen Buhle shares her story of resilience and self-discovery after her marriage to Hunter Biden unraveled in the wake of substance abuse and infidelity in this “dignified and revealing” (People) memoir.
“Kathleen Buhle’s brave and honest story transcends politics, division, hearsay, and judgment.”—Connie Britton
This is not a story about good versus evil. Or who was right. Or who was better. For decades, Kathleen Buhle chose to play the role of the good wife, beginning when, as a naïve young woman from a working-class family on the South Side of Chicago, she met the dashing son of a senator at the Jesuit Volunteer Corps in Oregon. Within months of falling in love, Kathleen found herself pregnant and engaged, living a life beyond anything she’d ever known.
Determined to build her family on a foundation of love, Kathleen was convinced her and Hunter’s commitment to each other could overcome any obstacle. But when Hunter’s drinking evolved into dependency, she was forced to learn how rapidly and irrevocably a marriage can fall apart under the merciless power of addiction. When the lies became insurmountable, Kathleen was forced to reckon with the compromises she had made to try to save her marriage. She wondered if she could survive on her own.
The result is a memoir that is gripping and heart-breaking. Here Kathleen asks why she kept so much hidden—from her daughters and herself—for so many years, why she became dependent on one man, and why she was more faithful to a vow of secrecy than to her own truth. This inspiring chronicle of radical honesty and self-actualization speaks to women who have lost part of their identity and want to reclaim it.
©2022 Random House (P)2022 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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"How did you get this number?" Those were the first words Jill Biden spoke to US senator Joe Biden when he called her out of the blue to ask her on a date. Growing up, Jill had wanted two things: a marriage like her parents' - strong, loving, and full of laughter - and a career. An early heartbreak had left her uncertain about love until she met Joe. But as they grew closer, Jill faced difficult questions: How would politics shape her family and professional life? And was she ready to become a mother to Joe's two young sons?
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Critic reviews
“Kathleen Buhle’s brave and honest story transcends politics, division, hearsay, and judgment. It is a story of love and learning, of the crushing blow of co-dependency and addiction, and ultimately of Buhle’s journey back to herself.”—Connie Britton
“From the safe harbor of a healing aftermath, Kathleen Buhle tells of the grievous toll that addiction took not just on her husband but also on her marriage and her family. She writes with warmth and kindness and without bitterness. As someone who has experienced firsthand the devastating hold of addiction, I find her account clear-eyed, painful, heartfelt, funny, and, best of all, hopeful.”—Leslie Jordan, author of How Y’all Doing?: Misadventures and Mischief from a Life Well Lived
“It isn’t easy to write a book about marriage that acknowledges what hard work it is to love another person and, also, oneself. In If We Break, Kathleen Buhle has done just that. The result is a harrowing tale of innocence and self-discovery, truth-telling and resilience. I couldn’t put it down.”—Kim Brooks, author of Small Animals: Parenthood in the Age of Fear
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- Power Shopper
- 06-20-22
Extraordinary
I am in awe of Kathleen's raw narrative and how beautifully she captured her marriage and her life. It is an extraordinary story of a lovely woman married to an extreme narcissistic. I found myself judging: "but Kathleen" I would say to myself. And that is the power of her narrative. Her's are not my shoes; its not my life. She gave me a fascinating few hours filled with poignant moments and laughter too. What I most appreciated most was Kathleen's love of family and love of life. Although we have very little in common, I admired her candor, raw bravery and her commitment to her family. Thank you Kathleen.
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- T
- 06-24-22
Authentically Beautiful
I wanted to know the conclusion of every chapter. This human experience is well told, deeply moving and inspiring.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Charles Friel
- 07-18-22
Tough Love
This was a heart rendering story about what so many people experience from addiction. It is easy to judge individuals and be so wrong about your judgment when you’ve never walked in their shoes. I feel sorry for Kathleen, but she should’ve walked away from her marriage to Hunter long before she did. Joe Biden should also accept some of the blame for his sons predicaments in life. It appears, to me, he never stepped in with that tough love when it was needed and appears he never will
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- Bradee
- 01-22-25
So authentic
So raw and truthful, loved every minute! Thank you Kathleen, you’re an inspiration and an amazing mother!!
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- Shopaholic
- 09-28-22
Heartbreaking
I just wanted to give Kathleen a hug as I listened to the heartbreaking story of how her marriage disintegrated not only in private but also in public. She also was cleverly careful not to make this book about her in-laws but instead focused on her immediate family which I appreciate. There were times I thought she was hard on herself. I am glad she was the narrator because this story can only be told by the person who lived this experience. I could not stop listiening trying to finish before the electricity goes out with an on coming hurricane. That’s how great this story really is.
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- John A.
- 06-14-22
A really great book
A fantastic book thank I found to be developmental and maturative for a young man coming of age such as myself. I found this book to be relatable and worthwhile to have had read. I found the intonations and inflections to be perfectly done and of a highly professional degree. I further really enjoyed the whole book and highly recommend it.
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- Leon Adler
- 11-17-22
Morose story
This was a difficult story to listen to.
It shows the true problems of keeping secrets, burying your head in the sand and not facing reality.
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- AVD
- 06-26-22
Really raw and really good
Ms. Buhle wrote a touching memoir filled with nostalgia, humility, honesty, perseverance, and hope. She walked us through the pretty spectacular arc of her life from childhood through present day and her journey was fascinating to follow. I enjoyed listening to her narrate her life’s story very much. And while the story she shares is full of dark details she shares them in the most respectful of ways. Sometimes the truth is sad and hard to fathom and her truth is this but so much more. This is a raw but thoughtful memoir that she and her children can be proud of. She is inspiring.
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- ff
- 03-22-23
well written
thank you for a very well written and read book. very empowering! !! !
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- Lisa Chaney
- 05-19-23
Very interesting
Well written and very gracious. Kathleen was very easy to listen to. Many interesting facts that she shared.
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