Funny Fantasy Adventure

“Before I can begin my tale, you need to know about the king's panties.” So begins the epic adventure of 14-year-old Nigel, digger of latrines, shoveler of poop, and the single greatest threat to all the humans, elves, and halflings of Esteria. Nigel needs to escape from military school. Who can blame him? After all, the king just declared war on the gorks, and he's pretty sure his latrine-digging skills aren't going to be much good on the front lines.

Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth unveils a solar system of swordplay, cut-throat politics, and lesbian necromancers. Her characters leap out of the audio, as skillfully animated as arcane revenants. The result is a heart-pounding epic science fantasy. Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse.

Risk-averse Greg Belmont is content with being ordinary. He's got a friend - that's right, just one - at his fancy prep school, and a pretty cool dad (even if he is obsessed with organic soaps that smell like a mix of salted pork and Icelandic bog). The problem is, Greg isn't ordinary... he's actually a fantastical Dwarf! He discovers the truth the day his dad brings home a gross new tea - one that awakens bizarre abilities in Greg. Then a murderous Bro-Troll kidnaps his dad and Greg is whisked away to the Underground, where Dwarves have lived for centuries right beneath Chicago.

When you offer therapy to monsters, it’s wise to keep a sword handy. Master swordsman Logan Snow thought trading epic quests for a cozy counseling center would be his happily-ever-after. After all, when you delve into a giant’s dark past or advise an ogre with anger issues, what could go wrong? When a letter arrives bearing the grim news that Logan’s old mentor has been captured by a powerful warlock and imprisoned in his citadel, he must dust off his sword and attempt a desperate rescue. He rallies a group of unlikely heroes including Tressa, an alluring and deadly magician, and ...

Will Hanna thought he was on the right track. He got a good job. Bought a nice house. Built a beautiful backyard pool. He spends most of his time at work, sacrificing a social life for corporate advancement, but it's a trade-off his dream home justifies. Until Will loses his job. Suddenly unemployed, Will takes to spending hours on end appreciating the pool he can no longer afford. Day after day, he sits beside it, watching its beautiful ripples as they lull him into a state of blithe indifference, quieting the part of his brain sounding alarm bells. In the midst of ignoring his personal ...

When half your galaxy is unexpectedly sucked into a black hole - when a hitherto-unknown species of space aliens lays waste to your home planet - when disaster rears its ugly head (or heads) - who can you call for faster-than-light appraisals and best-in-the-multiverse customer service? Just one man - Tom Stranger, Interdimensional Insurance Agent. In this latest chapter of his interstellar exploits, Tom is about to deliver a crushing performance evaluation to Jimmy the Intern when the unimaginable happens: The beloved Wendell the Manatee has been kidnapped!

In this Audible Exclusive production, Academy Award® nominee Rosamund Pike (Gone Girl) narrates one of Jane Austen’s most beloved works, Sense and Sensibility. In this timeless tale of misguided romance and heartbreak, two teenage heroines must overcome the pitfalls of Georgian England’s high society in order to achieve the love and happiness they seek. The admiration that Pike has for Austen’s work is shown clearly through this passionate delivery of Austen’s first published novel.

Tempest Michaels has a vampire problem. He’s an old hat at this game and dealing with cases like this are his speciality. Except this time … … the vampires are his clients. When someone starts targeting members of the local vampire Live Action Role Play club, there’s only one person they can think of to turn to – their old nemesis, Tempest Michaels. Unfortunately for Tempest, when he takes the case, he doesn’t realise they automatically assume that means twenty-four-hour protection. All too soon he has vampire wannabes camping on his lawn, he has vampires wannabes sleeping in ...

Having the cutest neighbor is a real pain in the neck... Callie is immune to all forms of magic—including the mesmerizing gaze that lets vampires bend humans to their will. That's made her the target of an ancient evil determined to enslave her... or destroy her. Her only hope lies in her mysterious neighbor, Armant. His superhuman strength and piercing intuition captivate her as much as they frighten her. Yet, her bright spirit has ignited a spark within him that he thought had long been extinguished. And Armant has a score to settle with the master vampire that's targeting her. As ...

An alien cat turned me into a superweapon. I was homeless on the streets of Third York when it happened. Then the military arrived and gave me a choice. Enlist or die. The next thing I knew, I was fighting giant robots at the Xenoforce Academy's boot camp. Figuring out superpowers and energy levels was hard enough, but I had to deal with a mind-reading alien princess, a team of gorgeous women, and a femme fatale in charge of the whole operation. Oh, and a galactic conspiracy is threatening all of humanity. It's up to me and my new feline friend to set things right. A civil war's brewing on ...

Superweapon stud? That's what the doctor ordered. The Beastmasters are dwindling. The Mekanics are growing bolder. Everyone's desperate for the next magic bullet. With no more Chimerics arriving, there's only one way to make more Beastmasters. Me. I'm not against making baby Beastmasters with the hotties on my squad. The problem is that they're not telling me everything. The last time they tried this, things got pretty ugly... All hell's breaking loose. Secrets are spilling left and right. Even my alien cat Zoe can't keep all the facts straight. And everyone wants a piece of me. There's ...

Fantastic possibilities and terrible consequences. When her job interview goes down in flames, archaeologist Dr. Arienne Cerasola makes a desperate decision to get her life back on track. Returning to the thing that wrecked her life in the first place isn’t rational, but magic is the only option she has. To find a legendary healing tree and save her friends, Ari must outsmart magic practitioners way more talented and prepared than she is. Can she beat the competition to the prize, or is another magical disaster inevitable? Elementary Magic is the first book in R. Leonia Shea’s urban ...

One night with a superpowered babe. Alan Star thinks he's the luckiest guy in the world, but fantasy turns into nightmare when a late-night meetup with a heroine turns deadly. To the dismay of the powers-in-charge, Alan has stumbled upon the dirty truth behind the squeaky-clean image of the hero business. Soon, everyone from government black ops to angry superpowered flames want to shut him up. Permanently. With nowhere else to run, Alan escapes to the one place that the heroes won't go: the underground world of a fabled hero-killer. There, he discovers the key to becoming the greatest hero...

Can her magic save the world—before his curse destroys it?Shy, awkward Dru never believed she had what it takes to be a true sorceress. That's why she’s been running a little crystal shop on the rough side of Denver, selling potions and charms to the larger-than-life spellcasters who defend the world against the forces of darkness. But when she accidentally touches hands with a dangerously handsome stranger, sparks fly — literally — and he supercharges her crystal magic powers. Ironically, Greyson doesn’t know a thing about magic. But his screaming-fast muscle car is possessed by ...

Kuntar, a young barbarian out of Cumeria, wanders in search of glory, riches, and adventure. Raised in the slave pits of Dorakakakaka, trained from birth as a warrior, and massively endowed with a great … strength. He has but two skills: bringing swift death to enemies, and immense pleasure to women. Ep1. Kuntar and The Crystal Cock Kuntar becomes lost in a magical forest, where lesser men are incapacitated, or disappear. The Cumerian meets a mischievous She-Goblin who promises him a great prize, a priceless crystal phallus…for a cost. Ep 2. Kuntar and The Valley of The Sluts After ...

Verity King has a problem with her husband. He’s been turned into a frog, and contrary to opinion, that’s not an improvement. A cryptic message, a severed finger in her fridge, and no signs of forced entry make it clear to Tempest why he was called, but Mr King’s worrying transformation is just the first act. Almost before he can add up the clues, a second victim confirms the theme and Tempest finds himself up against someone performing modern retellings of the Grimm Brothers’ Fairy Tales … with real live human characters. Tempest also has a new partner and it’s not his old army...

When petty criminal Cal Carver is locked in a cell with a deranged, semi-naked cannibal, he suspects his life has hit its lowest point. He is mistaken. Abducted by aliens and whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of misfits and criminals and sent on a top secret mission for the president of Space. And that's when everything starts to go very, very wrong....

A nightmarish danger threatens from the other side of reality. . . . Armed with only a frying pan and her common sense, young witch-to-be Tiffany Aching must defend her home against the monsters of Fairyland. Luckily she has some very unusual help: the local Nac Mac Feegle—aka the Wee Free Men—a clan of fierce, sheep-stealing, sword-wielding, six-inch-high blue men.

They said she was special. That she had a bright future. It wasn't a lie, but they didn't say that was necessarily a good thing. Clara Cassidy was a C student just trying to get by in life. Nothing had worked out as she planned and now she spent her days without purpose or attachments. All of that changed suddenly when an elderly woman knocked on her door. 'Magic is real,' the woman insisted and offered her a spot at Crossedlake University, a school for rising stars in the casting world. Clara didn't buy it. Not until she accidentally touched the woman's staff and her world exploded into a ...

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