
This Quest Is Broken!
This Trilogy Is Broken, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Andrew Tell
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By:
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J. P. Valentine
About this listen
The Questing Stones have come to Nowherested, and Evelia Greene is finally ready to receive her life's quest. Perhaps she'll be a great warrior, or a wealthy merchant, or a brilliant mage. Perhaps her quest is simply to live a quiet life, constantly honing a craft to the heights of perfection.
Or perhaps the Questing Stones will grant her the legendary mission of popping over to the next village to pick up a loaf of bread.
Wouldn’t that be ridiculous?
Eve can’t even begin to guess how or why she’s come by such an absurd life goal, nor how a level-one messenger girl is supposed to complete anything labeled as legendary, but at least she can be sure of one thing. No matter how many wolves or goblins attack, no matter how many speeding tickets she racks up, no matter how many bakeries spontaneously combust as she steps into town, one way or another, Eve is going to get that goddamned bread.
There just might be a few side quests along the way.
This book contains game elements, good jokes, bad jokes, worse jokes, and language strong enough to lift weights. Please enjoy.
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-
Overall
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Jeb Trapper tried to kill himself. The gun jammed. Two months later, the vet is now participating in underground trials of ecstasy to treat his PTSD. Everything seems to be going great until Jeb is teleported into a tutorial, along with everyone else on Earth. Now, he has to choose the level of difficulty. There's just one problem: He's high as a kite, and nothing seems impossible.
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It was great, till the end
- By Donovan Mullen on 08-23-21
By: Macronomicon
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Fate of Wizardoms Boxed Set: An Epic Fantasy Series
- Wizardoms Omnibus, Book 1
- By: Jeffrey L. Kohanek
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 29 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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In a realm where wizards rule, magic reigns supreme. Power. The ambitious thirst for it. But when a power-hungry wizard lord seeks to expand his might, he triggers a series of events unforeseen. The balance of magic is altered, races of old return, and beasts of legend stalk the land. This omnibus includes the first three books in the series.
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Bad copy
- By Eighthanded on 06-09-20
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In Times Like These: Mega Boxed Set
- By: Nathan Van Coops
- Narrated by: Neil Hellegers
- Length: 61 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Can you outrun the past? Can you outlive the future? One time traveler must find out. Accidental time traveler Ben Travers is thrown into a multiverse of adventure in this action-adventure through past and future. This compilation includes: In Times Like These, The Chronothon, The Day After Never, and The Warp Clock. Now you can get them in one volume! All the adventure at a fraction of the price. Start your time travel adventure today, because yesterday may be too late!
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Unfortunate
- By Kylee on 05-08-22
By: Nathan Van Coops
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Cultivating Chaos
- VeilVerse: Cultivating Chaos, Book 1
- By: William D. Arand
- Narrated by: Andrea Parsneau
- Length: 13 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Ash led a very normal life by his own standards. Right up until he was literally pulled into a portal that spat him out into another world. One that was full of martial arts. And martial artists who could use magic. Three years of living his life as one of the citizens, those without power, and Ash has figured out how to survive with his adoptive family and a lot of persistence. His goals in life have become to give back to those who gave to him. And he’d do whatever he had to to do that. Except Ash is about to get his life turned around again.
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reasonably entertaining but with significant flaws
- By LI on 06-29-19
By: William D. Arand
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To Kill a Unicorn
- Chronicles of Cain, Book 1
- By: John Corwin
- Narrated by: Austin Rising
- Length: 13 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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My name is Cain Sthyldor, a former assassin for the fae. I've met Death in person, I'm cursed by Cthulhu, know a gorgon, and have a pet octopus named Fred. I may not be a wizard from Chicago, an iron druid on the run, a hot-tempered maker who hates Girl Scouts, or part of a destructive duo from New York City, but I guarantee you'll be entertained.
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Hooked by Book 3
- By Lynch on 02-22-21
By: John Corwin
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Hollow
- Madness Re-Incarnate, Book 1
- By: Travis Bagwell
- Narrated by: Noah Ward
- Length: 22 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Nyx was born Hollow. An empty vessel in a world of spirits. Normally, that was a death sentence, yet somehow he survived. He's always been stubborn like that. He's also always been a bit crazy. Which is why, in another life, he did something reckless. He sent himself a message—his memories. Threw them into the Flow from which all spirits return. Besides, Nyx believed in asking hard questions. Like, was reincarnation real?
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The Narrator Made this book for me
- By Joshua Falone on 11-19-24
By: Travis Bagwell
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Death's Collector
- Deals with Death, Book 1
- By: Bill McCurry
- Narrated by: Daniel Penz
- Length: 13 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Bib the sorcerer hates how much he loves his job. Cursed by the God of Death to collect lives, he focuses his thirst on snuffing out only lowlife losers.
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Perfect!
- By Sara B on 11-19-19
By: Bill McCurry
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Shadow of the Conqueror
- Chronicles of Everfall, Book 1
- By: Shad Brooks
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer, Kate Reading
- Length: 18 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Who better to fight back the darkness of the world than the one responsible for most of it? Daylen, once known as the Great Bastard, the Scourge of Nations, Dayless the Conqueror, has lived in hiding since his presumed death. Burdened by age and tremendous guilt, he thinks his life is coming to an end. Unbeknownst to him he’s about to embark on a journey towards redemption where his ruthless abilities might save the world. Many battles await with friends to be made and a past filled with countless crimes to confront, all the while trying to keep his true identity a secret.
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Shad get a better Editor
- By Amazon Customer on 07-18-19
By: Shad Brooks
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Robots and Roommates
- Star Kingdom, Book 0
- By: Lindsay Buroker
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Long before Casmir Dabrowski and Kim Sato leave their world for the epic adventures of the Star Kingdom series, long before they outwit terrorists and mercenaries and do battle on a galactic scale, long before they become best friends and roommates...they have to meet for the first time. This is that story.
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The beginning of an entertaining partnership.
- By David Lotz on 04-22-21
By: Lindsay Buroker
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Milk Run
- Smuggler's Tales, Book 1
- By: Nathan Lowell
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 11 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Academy graduate Natalya Regyri stood first in line for her pick of engineering officer jobs, until, at the graduation party, a classmate turned up dead. Now, betrayed by her friends and framed for murder, she must flee beyond the reach of the Confederation...and any semblance of civilized society. With a damaged second-hand ship and TIC interceptors dogging her step, she nets a smuggling contract that might just get her back on her feet and in control of her destiny. But only if she's willing to make an ore run back to the place she's wanted for murder.
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Another Cooper Yarn
- By Paul on 10-05-19
By: Nathan Lowell
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Into the Black
- Odyssey One, Book 1
- By: Evan Currie
- Narrated by: David de Vries
- Length: 14 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Beyond the confines of our small world, far from the glow of our star, lies a galaxy and universe much larger and more varied than anyone on Earth can possibly imagine. For the new NAC spacecraft Odyssey and her crew, the unimaginable facets of this untouched world are about to become reality. The Odyssey’s maiden voyage is an epic adventure destined to make history. Captain Eric Weston and his crew, pushing past the boundaries of security, encounter horrors, wonders, monsters, and people, all of which will test their resolve.
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I’ve listened to this book a lot over several years; The new performer is great!
- By Amazon Customer on 09-15-19
By: Evan Currie
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Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl
- By: Andrea Lawlor
- Narrated by: Dani Martineck
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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It's 1993 and Paul Polydoris tends bar at the only gay club in a university town thrumming with politics and partying. He studies queer theory, has a dyke best friend, makes zines, and is a flaneur with a rich dating life. But Paul's also got a secret: he's a shapeshifter. Oscillating wildly from Riot Grrrl to leather cub, Paul transforms his body and his gender at will as he crossed the country–a journey and adventure through the deep queer archives of struggle and pleasure.
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The Hottest Book Ever Written
- By Dawn on 06-28-19
By: Andrea Lawlor
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The Lochlann Treaty: Complete Series
- By: Robin D. Mahle, Elle Madison
- Narrated by: Oliva King, Adam Gold
- Length: 23 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Princess Charlotte’s entire life had been planned. Right up until the moment her fiancé is kidnapped on her wedding day, sending the entire kingdom hurtling toward disaster. Charlie has never left the protective grounds of the castle, but to save her intended, she’ll trade her crown for a sword and forge into dangerous rebel lands alongside her fiancé’s arrogant older brother, Logan. He thinks she’s a spoiled princess. She’s about to prove him wrong. But each step deeper into the enemy’s world confirms nothing is what it seems.
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Decent story
- By C Ricketts on 02-18-23
By: Robin D. Mahle, and others
Hilarious adventure with a great story
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It was most excellent fun. Charming and enough innovation to keep you hooked. I’ll be finishing this series. Has stats but isn’t heavy-handed about it.
Really good!
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Good audiobook
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Thoroughly Enjoyed
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If you are a Christian, this book made me cringe so many times with the God's da* . I'd rather read swearing than that [which there is plenty of]. But the God's Da**it. So so often ruined the book for me and I won't be buying the second one even though I liked the story.
Love it and hate it
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I saw a few negative reviews about the humor and unusual swearing. And I feel it's like any comedy you'd either hate it or love it. The story mostly takes itself seriously, so don't take those reviews close to heart, you might enjoy this book so give it a try!
Cinnamon Bun meets The Prince has No Pants
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Quirky and fun (no spoilers)
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its a fun story and i found it super entertaining.
cant wait to see what they do with the world building.
not sure why people had an issue
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Good story, but I was not laughing much
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A fantastic story.
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