
The Prince Has No Pants
Ben's Damn Adventure, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Johnathan McClain
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By:
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Matthew Howry
About this listen
All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System.
It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential.
Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.
Written by Matthew Howry, better known to Royal Road fans as Salty Waters.
©2020 Matthew Howry (P)2021 Podium AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Seth is part of a clandestine intergalactic bounty hunting operation, and so is everyone else he works with. The Moonsault Professional Wrestling league fronts a group of super-powered bounty hunters that secretly work for the Intergalactic Federation and have a damn good time while doing it.
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Loved it
- By Cory Hatfield on 10-29-21
By: Gideon Caldwell
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Master of None
- All Trades, Book 1
- By: Shane Walker
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 9 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Alex is broke. He's pretty much always been broke. A misspent youth led to mistakes that led to convictions and plea deals. No career, no education, no hope. Now he has a chance to make things right for him and his family when the newest immersive MMO comes with the ability to convert money earned in the game into real currency. Well, it's cryptocurrency, but that's real-ish, right?
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Meh, Unrealistic and not Exciting
- By David R on 07-22-20
By: Shane Walker
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Deepwater Dungeon
- A LitRPG Adventure
- By: Ryan Rimmel, Boe Hagen
- Narrated by: Phil Thron
- Length: 12 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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It was just another sunny day at the coast when a life was changed forever. What started as a prank for a young girl resulted in the elevation of a crab's existence. Now, wrenched from its happy life at the beach, the crab...HAS AWAKENED. Sir Crabby finds himself thrust into sapience. Into a world filled with creatures both mundane and magical, a world where evil lurks beneath the waves. Join Sir Crabby as he travels beneath the ocean, discovering power, adventuring forth and searching for his young friend as he's thrust into the Eternal Conflict of Arthos.
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Totally delightful.
- By Lonnie-The GreatNorthernTroll-Moore on 11-11-22
By: Ryan Rimmel, and others
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One Moo'r Plow: Minotaur Farming LitRPG
- One Moo'r Plow: Minotaur Farming LitRPG, Book 1
- By: Exemplar
- Narrated by: Jonathan Keeble
- Length: 16 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Somebody once told a joke. A man ran in place all his life. He worked a job he didn't love for people he couldn't stand. But at the end of the day, the number in his bank account went up. That man got a second chance at life. He woke up in another world, one full of adventures and romances and monsters and gods. And floating above his head, he saw the number "1". So what did he say? "Gosh, I better make the number go up." Not today. Not for this old soul. Reborn as a beast of battle meant to live a short life and die screaming, Garek refuses.
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I liked it
- By Anonymous User on 08-31-23
By: Exemplar
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Alice in Deadland Trilogy (Alice, Books 1-3)
- By: Mainak Dhar
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Alice in Deadland was released in November 2011 and quickly became an Amazon.com bestseller. It was followed by its sequel, ‘Through The Looking Glass’ and ‘Off With Their Heads’, the prequel to Alice in Deadland. These three books have been translated into French, German, Portuguese and Turkish, reaching millions of readers worldwide. Now, get all three novels in the Alice in Deadland Trilogy in one single omnibus edition and immerse yourself in this bestselling adventure. Alice in Deadland Civilization as we know it ended more than fifteen years ago, leaving as its legacy barren ...
By: Mainak Dhar
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One Bad Roll: A LitRPG Adventure
- Fifth Era Apocalypse, Book 1
- By: Ryan Rimmel
- Narrated by: Johnathan McClain
- Length: 12 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Five friends, gamers for life, gather for their usual game night. Yet, when they use a strange new die they are transported to a fantasy world where all gaming ideas can come true. Together, the party must join forces to deal with the vile Necrolord whose plans will not only threaten this world, but Earth as well. Should be easy for a team of adventurers, but when gaming and real life meet, there are situations which cannot be anticipated.
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Waste of a Credit
- By Haha on 03-29-23
By: Ryan Rimmel
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The Drop of a Hat
- Hat Trick, Book 1
- By: Luke Chmilenko, G. D. Penman
- Narrated by: John Lee
- Length: 12 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Absalom Scryne, the greatest wizard of his generation, has been murdered. There's no other explanation for why his consciousness now resides in his well-worn but perfectly pointed hat. Well, he isn't going to take that lying down . . . or hanging from a branch, as the case may be.
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Hat trick
- By Jessica on 12-20-23
By: Luke Chmilenko, and others
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What the Truck: An Apocalypse LitRPG
- Battle Trucker, Book 1
- By: Tom Goldstein
- Narrated by: Zura Johnson
- Length: 14 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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All that stands between rowdy long-haul trucker Jill MacLeod (aka Junkmouth) and her family back in Boston is two thousand miles of asphalt. Well, that and the monstrous game the System has had her playing ever since it descended on Earth. The reward: mana. Jill's goal: kill, score, drive—and stay alive. Behind the wheel of a turreted forty-ton semi named Bertha, Jill hammers east from Montana through a gauntlet of every kind of chomping, hissing, rabid creature imaginable. Barreling forward in her magical soulbound big rig and chalking up a bumper crop of roadkill, Jill isn't alone for long.
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Feedback from a trucker
- By jeremy on 12-05-23
By: Tom Goldstein
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Kill Streak
- A Sci-Fi LitRPG
- By: Curator Omega
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 14 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Dak Korasa is wounded by his team and left for dead on a hostile jungle world. On the verge of succumbing, he’s saved by a sluglike organism created by an otherworldly entity. This parasite, or chok’tal, has one purpose: to alter its host’s DNA, turning him into a super-soldier known as a Purifier who is then expected to serve in the “Glorious Game.” Imbued with superhuman strength, speed, and endurance, Dak must kill to earn enough points to win the mysterious game—or the chok’tal will kill him.
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Promptly Returned
- By Cody on 10-11-22
By: Curator Omega
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The Fabric of Reality: A LitRPG Adventure
- Edge Cases, Book 1
- By: Silver Linings
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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In the Prime Kingdoms, the system dominates everything. It dictates one’s strength, skills, and power. It spawns dungeons and guides the actions of their monsters. But every system has its limits, and it’s about to push four oddball adventurers to theirs.
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Far underrated by audible standards.
- By Christopher on 08-12-24
By: Silver Linings
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Witches Be Crazy
- By: Logan J. Hunder
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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The beloved King Ik is dead, and there was barely time to check his pulse before the royal throne was supporting the suspiciously shapely backside of an impostor pretending to be Ik's beautiful, long-lost daughter. With the land's heroic hunks busy drooling all over themselves, there's only one man left who can save the kingdom of Jenair. His name is Dungar Loloth, a rural blacksmith turned innkeeper, a surly hermit, and an all-around nobody oozing toward middle age, compensating for a lack of height, looks, charm, and tact with guts and an attitude.
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perfect nonsense
- By Jen on 09-04-20
By: Logan J. Hunder
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Spells, Salt, & Steel, Season 1
- By: Gail Z. Martin, Larry N. Martin
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 11 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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By day, Mark Wojcik can be found elbow-deep in engine grease, making cars and trucks safe for the highway. By night, he can be found traipsing through the wilds of Pennsylvania, making the world safe for humans. He's more than just a mechanic, he's a New Templar Knight. He travels the backroads and byways fighting weresquonks, ningen, selkies, ghosts, and . . . gnomes? Is that gnome . . . naked? (Sigh.) Season One collects the first four novellas in the Spells, Salt, & Steel series: Spells, Salt, & Steel; Open Season; Deep Trouble; and Close Encounters.
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Great fun; the Bubbaverse grows!
- By J.R. Snyder on 12-06-19
By: Gail Z. Martin, and others
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The Problem with Princesses
- Wake of the Ravager, Book 1
- By: Macronomicon
- Narrated by: Steve Campbell
- Length: 15 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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On the world of Marconen, your first Break determines the trajectory of your life. Calvin chose magic. Without proper schooling or a mentor, the boy is dragged by the cruel whims of fate across the face of the planet, blending together different schools of magic and powerful abilities to create something new. But there's a deeper secret behind his success. Why was he born an exile from his country? Why is his System so strange, and why does it keep talking to him? As the march of time continues, something evil grows in power across the ocean.
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Good story, good pacing
- By Kirby on 03-17-23
By: Macronomicon
What listeners say about The Prince Has No Pants
Highly rated for:
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- Jeffery
- 11-08-21
Narrator and editing were excellent
I bought the story because several of the recent reviews indicated that the humor was ROFLMAO type funny and I love a good laugh. What I got was some half-chuckles. It might just not tickle MY funny bone, but it just wasn't that funny to me. If that was it and the story was great, I'd suck it up and enjoy a great story. *However*, the writing was a bit stiff and forced. This was easy to overlook because the narrator did a great job which minimized some of the stiff writing. The story itself was kinda of interesting, but I just didn't find myself losing myself in the story. It wasn't horrible, and if you like this genre and can't find anything else interesting, it's worth a read, but I wouldn't spend a full credit on this. Look for a sale. I do feel that this story has a LOT OF POTENTIAL and with this narrator to distract from the stiff and clunky writing style, the next book may be worth reading. I'll pop it into my wish list and see if it comes up on a 2-for-1 sale or a $5 sale. Otherwise, I can't see myself continuing this series.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 02-21-21
Everything I could have hoped and dreamed!
I'm not one to write reviews on books often, I have over 220 books in my library and maybe 5 reviews, but this one really deserves an actual review.
*TLDR: Really F*ckin' good book!*
Quite a few years ago I read a writing prompt about Humans being the "space orcs" of the universe (eating anything, living in temperatures ranging from -40 - 120 degrees F, rapid reproduction, etc) and this book takes that to a whole 'nother level. This book had me literally slapping my knee laughing hysterically within the first 30-60 minutes, and then bringing me to actual tears. I don't know exactly how to describe this book, but it spoke to me on a different level, I finished it in almost one sitting, and I couldn't sleep when I had to go to bed, because I wanted to continue the "damn adventure".
Let's try to go a little deeper into breaking down the book without any spoilers.
Comedy: A literal knee slapper, but maybe my humor is different to some, I would give an example, but the jokes are so "out of no-where" that I don't want to ruin it [5/5]
Emotional Investment: I actually teared up at one point that you will understand when you get the book. [5/5]
World Building: There isn't too much detail given about things we don't need or want to know, but anything that has any bearing on the story is explained in enough detail without giving too much information as to ruin the "alien" feeling of the "extraterrestrials". [5/5]
Story: The great thing about this book, is that there isn't really a storyline to follow, everything just kind of leads from one thing to another without a real goal, because Ben doesn't have one (other than to survive) yet. This makes sense because at this point, there is no "main quest line" and he is just trying to figure out what to do next to survive in this new world. [5/5]
Performance: Johnathan McClain does a Fantastic job of reading this book, everything makes sense when he reads it, I didn't have any points where I couldn't understand what was going on due to incorrect/inconsistent narration. The characters were individualized and diverse, and their voices and emotions matched their descriptions and characteristics. [5/5]
Overall: Everything comes together to make this my new favorite book I have purchased, the laughter, the emotion, and sheer insanity of this book makes me proud to be Human, [5/5]
Conclusion: I loved the book, I can't wait for the second, and I will be getting it as soon as it is released. If you are reading this and love LitRPG, SyFy Fantasy, and irreverent comedy, stop whatever you are doing, and purchase this book Right Now! You can thank me later ;)
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3 people found this helpful
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- TheOtherDude91
- 08-01-21
Narrators performance saved this book
This in one of the those rare time when if it wasn't for the narrators enthusiasm the book would be utter garbage. In this book there is a whole lot of fluff and no bang, the narrator made it fun. But if I were to read this book myself I feel like I wouldn't have made it past the 3rd chapter.
Don't get this book if you're looking for an OP MC or tons of action. There is barely any action in this, and when there is the veiw is aimed at something else completely off to the side, and then we'll get the aftermath of the battle.
The MC does "fight" a little, but it's more like "oh, well that's convenient" type of fighting than actually throwing a punch or swinging a sword. He uses his very convenient and mcguffin like tool to fix every issue, so that's nice.
Still a fun listen, might get the second book as long as the same narrator sticks around. True ratong: 3.5/5
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1 person found this helpful
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- McLeod
- 12-08-21
hilariously brilliant
not only was the voice acting phenomenal, the reader kept me in stitches with his awesome range and character voices but the book itself was awesome.
The different ideas introduced in this book are so cool and you will not regret picking this one up.
I'm right onto the next one myself :D
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 06-01-21
nice but rather short
If this were more of a complete story, and if the prologue didn't drag on for far far far to long it wpuld be a 5 star book easily.
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- Chris
- 03-11-21
Assam.
Was one of the best book's. i have listened too. finished book 1 starting book 2. keepe theme coming please.
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- TakeMyTai
- 06-06-22
It's a bit meandering, but...
I know the slow pace is due to the world building that is necessary when you don't dump a lot of exposition right at the gate. I hope Short Bus is reunited soon.
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- Ellis_969
- 02-14-23
Middle of the pile
Loved chapter 3...felt the book had a strong possibility of epic saga but it went down hill for me...though humorous...I expected more..
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- Justin
- 03-08-23
Fun standard litrpg romp
Fairly standard plot of getting sucked into a game world, but done well with some great laughs along the way.
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- Audry
- 10-27-23
Very Entertaining
Pretty humorous. If you like this story, you will also like Hard Luck Hank Series.
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