
How to Hold a Grudge
From Resentment to Contentment - the Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life
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Narrated by:
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Sophie Hannah
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By:
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Sophie Hannah
About this listen
The first and only comprehensive examination of the universal but widely misunderstood practice of grudge-holding that will show you how to use grudges to be your happiest, most optimistic, and most forgiving self.
Secretly, we all hold grudges, but most of us probably think we shouldn’t, and many of us deny that we do. To bear a grudge is too negative, right? Shouldn’t we just forgive and move on? Wrong, says self-appointed grudge guru Sophie Hannah, in her groundbreaking and irreverent self-help guide. Yes, it’s essential to think positively if we want to live happy lives, but even more crucial is how we get to the positive. Denying our negative emotions and experiences is likely to lead only to more pain, conflict, and stress.
What if our grudges are good for us? What if we could embrace them, and use them to help ourselves and others, instead of feeling ashamed of our inability to banish negative emotions and memories from our lives? With contributions from expert psychotherapists as well as extracts from her own extensive catalog of grudges, Sophie Hannah investigates the psychological origins of grudges and also offers not-so-obvious insights into how we should acknowledge - and embrace - them in order to improve the quality of our interpersonal relationships and senses of self. Grudges do not have to fill us with hate or make us toxic, bitter, and miserable. If we approach the practice of grudge-holding in an enlightened way, it will do the opposite - we will become more forgiving.
Practical, compassionate, and downright funny, How to Hold a Grudge reveals everything we need to know about the many different forms of grudge, the difference between a grudge and not-a-grudge (not as obvious as it seems), when we should let a grudge go, and how to honor a grudge and distill lessons from it that will turn us into better, happier people - for our own benefit and for the sake of spreading good and limiting harm in the world.
©2019 Sophie Hannah (P)2019 Simon & SchusterListeners also enjoyed...
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- Unabridged
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Have you ever felt like life has thrown you a curveball? Are you struggling to overcome unexpected challenges and setbacks? While loss, heartbreak, and loneliness are all part of the human experience, in this warm guide, internationally bestselling author Haemin Sunim shows us that these moments can actually be rare opportunities for self-discovery, serving as stepping stones to greater things in life.
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Amazing book and audio
- By JD on 03-22-24
By: Haemin Sunim, and others
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Master Your Focus
- A Practical Guide to Stop Chasing the Next Thing and Focus on What Matters Until It’s Done (Mastery Series)
- By: Thibaut Meurisse
- Narrated by: Joshua Alexander
- Length: 3 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Author and coach Thibaut Meurisse wants you to reclaim your focus. In his latest book, you’ll learn exactly how to develop laser-sharp focus so that you can complete your key projects and achieve your major goals. Master Your Focus is a clear and concise walkthrough that demonstrates how to use the power of focus to achieve tangible results. Using Thibaut’s straightforward instructions, you’ll learn how to zero-in on key tasks and stick to them until you complete them 100 percent.
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clear, concise, and super helpful
- By Sarah on 11-18-20
By: Thibaut Meurisse
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How Life Imitates Chess
- Making the Right Moves, from the Board to the Boardroom
- By: Garry Kasparov
- Narrated by: Garry Kasparov, Adam Grupper
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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How Life Imitates Chess is a primer on how to think, make decisions, prepare strategies, and anticipate the future. Kasparov has distilled the lessons he learned over a lifetime as a chess grandmaster to cover the practical side - tactics, strategy, preparation, as well as the subtler, more human arts of using memory, intuition, and imagination.
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Pretty Good...
- By Douglas on 03-26-10
By: Garry Kasparov
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Self Discipline: The Spartan and Special Operations Way to Mastering Yourself
- By: Ryan Hunt
- Narrated by: Russell Newton
- Length: 3 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In this book, you will learn lessons in self-discipline from the masters of self-discipline: the Spartans and Special Operations Units. This book will guide you through the most important principles of self-discipline. It will teach you how to take your life and transform yourself into a powerful individual.
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very blah and generic
- By TommyDCentral on 01-09-20
By: Ryan Hunt
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The Unfair Advantage
- How You Already Have What It Takes to Succeed
- By: Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba
- Narrated by: Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba, Raj Ghatak
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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What is the difference between a startup that makes it, and one that crashes and burns? Behind every story of success is an unfair advantage. But an Unfair Advantage is not just about your parents' wealth or who you know: Anyone can have one. An Unfair Advantage is the element that gives you an edge over your competition.
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Nothing new
- By Jessie on 07-11-23
By: Ash Ali, and others
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What I Know for Sure
- Tenth Anniversary Edition
- By: Oprah Winfrey
- Narrated by: Oprah Winfrey
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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As a creative force, student of the human heart and soul, and champion of living the life you want, Oprah Winfrey stands alone. Over the years, she has made history with a legendary talk show—the highest-rated program of its kind, launched her own television network, become the nation's only African-American billionaire, and been awarded both an honorary degree by Harvard University and the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
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Timeless Wisdom from One of the Greats
- By Gina Greene on 04-13-25
By: Oprah Winfrey
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Mini Habits
- Smaller Habits, Bigger Results
- By: Stephen Guise
- Narrated by: Daniel Penz
- Length: 3 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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One afternoon - after another failed attempt to get motivated to exercise - I (accidentally) started my first mini habit. I initially committed to do one push-up, and it turned into a full workout. I was shocked. This "stupid idea" wasn't supposed to work. I was shocked again when my success with this strategy continued for months (and to this day). I had to consider that maybe I wasn't the problem in those 10 years of mediocre results. Maybe it was my prior strategies that were ineffective, despite being oft-repeated as "the way to change" in countless books.
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Breaks Things Down Into Tiny Do-able Bits
- By Sara on 11-26-14
By: Stephen Guise
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How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t
- 14 Habits That Are Holding You Back from Happiness
- By: Andrea Owen
- Narrated by: Andrea Owen
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t is a straight-shooting self-improvement guide for women, one that offers frank advice about the most common self-destructive behaviors women engage in. Andrea Owen—a nationally sought-after life coach—crystallizes what’s behind several invisible, undermining habits, from catastrophizing and people-pleasing to listening to the imposter complex or to one’s inner critic. Powerfully on the mark, the chapters are short and digestible, nicely bypassing weighty examinations in favor of punch points of awareness.
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A review on general behavioral patterns
- By Karen Goldsmith on 04-20-18
By: Andrea Owen
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The Art of Explanation
- How to Communicate with Clarity and Confidence
- By: Ros Atkins
- Narrated by: Ros Atkins
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Explanation - conveying meaning - is an art. And the BBC presenter and journalist Ros Atkins, creator of the viral 'Ros Atkins on...' explainer videos, is something of a master of the form. In this book, Ros shares the secrets he has learned from years of working in high-pressure newsrooms, identifying the ten elements of a good explanation and the seven steps you need to take to express yourself as persuasively and accurately as possible.
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So good. So actionable and relevant!
- By JGIPS on 11-23-24
By: Ros Atkins
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Rich Dad Poor Dad
- What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money - That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!
- By: Robert T. Kiyosaki
- Narrated by: Tim Wheeler
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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With an incredible number of 5-star reviews, Rich Dad Poor Dad has challenged and changed the way tens of millions of people around the world think about money. With perspectives that often contradict conventional wisdom, Kiyosaki has earned a reputation for irreverence and courage. He is regarded worldwide as a passionate advocate for financial education. His easy-to-understand audiobook empowers you to make changes now - and enjoy the results for years to come.
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great book but....
- By Mathew Copeland on 11-28-17
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Rapport
- The Four Ways to Read People and Talk to Anyone in Any Situation
- By: Emily Alison, Laurence Alison
- Narrated by: Laurence Alison, Emily Alison
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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All of us have to deal with difficult people. Whether we’re asking our neighbour to move a fence or our boss for a pay rise, we can struggle to avoid arguments and get what we want. Laurence and Emily Alison are world leaders in forensic psychology and they specialise in the most difficult interactions imaginable: criminal interrogations. They advise and train the police, security agencies, the FBI and the CIA on how to deal with extremely dangerous suspects when the stakes are high.
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Great Model for Better Listening & Understanding
- By S. Small on 08-04-20
By: Emily Alison, and others
What listeners say about How to Hold a Grudge
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Gold3nLily
- 07-22-19
Immensely helpful
This is one of the best books I’ve ever read and I’m sure I will read it many more times. It’s concise, helpful, and funny.
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- Julia
- 01-18-19
Amazing Tool for people with Autistic Traits, etc.
Sometimes a formulaic approach is clarifying, that which is measured, matters. This author is generous with her personal stories and learning curves and her grudge diamond scale is a true breakthrough, especially for the sort of person who doesn't know how they feel, just that they do feel.
I listened, then I listened to her podcasts and read the materials online and took in as many reviews as I could find. This is a great resource and I'm glad to have found it.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Angie V.
- 06-12-24
I was surprised that I like this book so much
I bought this book on a whim from a Facebook ad that seemed to know that I’m trying to process through a hurtful situation with a family member. I didn’t have much expectation really but was intrigued. I was so surprised by how challenged and mentally stimulated I was during the read. I actually really followed the authors logic that processing through grudges can be a good thing and would allow me to become a more forgiving person. Few books motivate me to action but this one did.
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- KATHRYN DI
- 04-10-19
Somehow relaxing
Listening to the author's own narration of her grudges is somehow relaxing! Loved her voice. As I was listening I kept in mind a review I'd read about the examples of grudge-inspiring events being uninteresting or somehow bad. Actually, these were the stuff daily grudges are made of - someone made me wait, someone didn't notice something I did, someone was pushy. If the examples had been tragic and flashy, I wouldn't have been able to identify with them. Maybe that reviewer doesn't have a single "petty" thought ever. These should not be minimized - these "small" things bombard a person every day, and as Hannah writes, we also lob at others, even unknowingly. They really do cumulatively affect one's well being. At work, someone has recently formed a grudge against me because for a month her convenient email notifications for document expiration dates have gone away as I migrate data, even though I gave her a neat spreadsheet of all those dates (and there are only a handful of upcoming ones). I've formed a grudge against her for going to the president after two weeks of this to tell him the software I'm using (and fought for for months) should be changed to the old one she used to use at a previous job. These are the exact types of things Hannah uses as examples. Her book was reassuring and I won't ever forget it, I'm sure.
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- Zeeta
- 02-26-19
Highly recommend.
I found this book very interesting and insightful. The author’s retelling of both contributed and personal stories showed how analyzing grudges helps us process the behaviors of ourselves and others. I feel the author proves that we can learn a lot by reflecting on, and evaluating the causes and effects of grudges.
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