Showing results by narrator "Suzy Jackson" in All Categories

A girl doesn't have a date for the school dance - until her dad makes one for her in his lab. "Lily - meet Stitchy." A family enjoys a nice Thanksgiving dinner - until they are interrupted by a torrent of turkeys out for revenge. A princess meets a pea-brained suitor. And the battle of two red hot pepper weenies ends in flames. Critically-acclaimed author and master of the macabre David Lubar returns from a journey into the darkest depths of his brain with 35 more warped and creepy tales.

Sixteen-year-old Celstia spends every summer with her family at the elite resort at Lake Conemaugh, a shimmering Allegheny Mountain reservoir held in place by an earthen dam. Tired of the society crowd, Celestia prefers to swim and fish with Peter, the hotel's hired boy. It's a friendship she must keep secret, and when companionship turns to romance, it's a love that could get Celestia disowned. These affairs of the heart become all the more wrenching on a single, tragic day in May 1889.

Stranded aliens seek out Earth's most intelligent species. (Hint: It's not us.) A bully discovers the meaning of "spatial displacement." Two girls find out why you should never annoy a witch. When a swarm of sneaking, slashing, scurrying ninja weenies invades their neighborhood, a boy and his best friend find a way to fight back. Here are 33 hilarious and harrowing stories that will scare you, make you laugh, or see the world in a whole new way. Find out where David got the idea for each story at the end of the book. Don't be a weenie. Listen to these stories. If you dare!

Welcome to the Weenie Zone! A boy and his family narrowly escape a zombie apocalypse - or do they? A girl neglects her cat's litter box and finds herself in a heap of trouble. And a group of clicking, scrolling, tapping wireless weenies find themselves on the edge of disaster. Here are 33 hilarious and harrowing stories that will scare you, make you laugh, or see the world in a whole new way.

When things go bad at home, sisters Eleanor and Mike hide in a secret place under Eleanor's bed, telling monster stories. Often, it seems those stories and their mother's house magic are all that keep them safe from both busybodies and their dad's temper. But when their father breaks a family heirloom, a glass witch ball, a river suddenly appears beneath the bed, and Eleanor and Mike fall into a world where dreams are born, nightmares struggle to break into the real world, and secrets have big consequences.

World War II is over, but the Honeycutt family is still feeling its devastating effects. Especially Daddy, who can’t forget what he saw on the battlefield and sometimes can’t cope with everyday life. Fourteen-year-old Ellie Honeycutt finds escape at the NASCAR speedway and in her dreams of travel and college. Her twin sister, Ida, clings to family and finds solace in her sketchbook. Once inseparable, the two sisters find themselves growing apart with the start of high school.

Three hundred years ago, Earth suffered a mass extinction event. The last humans fled to the stars in search of a new home. In the darkness, they fought to survive. Now the fleet decays, and their hope of finding a better world is fading. Era Corinth works to preserve the archives, but viewing them herself would be treason. When she's faced with the possibility that her unborn child may be aborted due to a genetic defect, her fascination with ancient secrets escalates to obsession.

In an Empire run on necromancy, dead sorcerers are the lifeblood. Their corpses are wrapped in chains and drained of magic to feed the unquenchable hunger for imperial conquest. Born with magic, Arienne has become resigned to her dark fate. But when the voice of a long-dead sorcerer begins to speak inside her head, she listens. There may be another future for her, if she's willing to fight for it.

Storied, fiercely competitive Mariana Academy was founded with a serious honor code; its reputation has been unsullied for decades. Now a long-dormant secret society, Prisom's Party, threatens its placid halls with vigilante justice, exposing students and teachers alike for even the most minor infraction. Iris Dupont, a budding journalist whose only confidant is the chain-smoking specter of Edward R. Murrow, feels sure she can break into the ranks of The Devil’s Advocate, the Party’s underground newspaper, and there uncover the source of its blackmail schemes and vilifying rumors.

Best known for her role on the hit Comedy Central show Strangers with Candy, Sarah Thyre is an accomplished actress and writer. In this snappy memoir about growing up poor in the Deep South, Thyre relays vivid memories of her wacky parents, losing her virginity, and being infamously called "the family liar."

Despite Clover's victory over the destructive Seamstress, war continues to rage between the fledgling Unified States and Napoléon Bonaparte. Clover and Nessa, former snake-oil salesgirl, join the Women's Service League expecting to dole out soup and socks to invalids and orphans. Instead, under the direction of the wealthy and mysterious Miss Yamada, they're tasked with rooting out the last of the pestilential Vermin. But when the group is attacked by a new kind of monster--a sharp-toothed harehound with bloodshot eyes—they discover a much greater threat lurks.

Narda Pitkethly’s brother vanishes amid several clues in September 2001, near Sun Valley, Idaho. In the search for Jay, the family undertakes extreme measures to find him. This plunges Narda into a prolonged period of searching, not only for her brother, but for inspiration and meaning in her life, which ultimately leads her back to a world that makes sense.

Austin Gray is almost 15 and sheï¿¿ï¿¿s tired of not being noticed. So she hatches a plan to become Prosper County's Sweetheart in order to ride through town during the annual parade waving and smiling to everyone. To make her dream come true, however, she'll have to join the Future Farmers of America. But what's a little hunting and fishing (and livestock raising) to a determined teenager?

Lisbeth comes from a broken home in the land of tube tops, heavy eyeliner, frosted lip-gloss, juiceheads, hoop earrings, and "the shore". She has a circle of friends who have dedicated their teenage lives to relieve the world of all its alcohol one drink at a time. Obsessed with everything Audrey Hepburn, Lisbeth is transformed when she secretly tries on Audrey's iconic Givenchy. She becomes who she wants to be by pretending to be somebody she's not and living among the young and privileged Manhattan elite.

Most people want to save the world; 17-year-old Tora Reynolds just wants to get the hell off of it. One of the last survivors in Earth's final years, Tora yearns to escape the wasteland her planet has become after the sun turns "red giant," but discovers her fellow survivors are even more deadly than the hostile environment. Holed up in an underground shelter, Tora is alone - her brilliant scientist father murdered, her mother and sister burned to death. She dreams of living on a planet with oceans, plants, and animals.

Caelia is the new Earth. That's what the Consulate told everyone, and against all odds Tora finally has made it there. She can't see the ocean from her cell in the Consulate's containment center, and she doesn't know what happened to the weapons her father died for and she's risked her life to save. But as she plans her escape, she runs into the last person she ever expected to see - her dad.

Welcome to the Weenie Zone! Here are 30 hilarious and harrowing stories that will scare you, make you laugh, or get you to see the world in a whole new way. Find out where the author got the idea for each story at the end of the book.

The Acrasian army has swept through Eledore, nearly massacring the entire race in fear and hatred of the magic they possess. This same magic is all that was keeping the demon incursion at bay, but now the great evil that was banished is seeping into the world. Watchers are formed to warn of any sightings of the demons, but little can be done if one encounters them in shadow or at night.

Knit me into a cocoon. Help me eat a burrito. Pretend to be a chair at my dinner party. Wrestle a Komodo dragon. Race me in a lobster suit. Author Kelly Mahon posts absurd gig ads online and shares the conversations she had with the brave souls who wanted the job.

At an elite summer program, a teen girl gets sucked into a secret society, with deadly consequences. Protect the girls. Arlee Gold has always lived in the shadow of her successful mom; even after everything Arlee’s been through, her mother still expects nothing but the best. In an effort to get her daughter back on track after a less-than-stellar few school years, she’s enrolled Arlee as a legacy at Camp Rockaway, an elite college prep summer camp deep in the North Carolina wilderness.