𝐌𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦.

We're taught to "man up" and handle everything alone.

When we struggle, we don't reach out. When friends share problems, we jump straight to solutions.

We think asking for help is weakness. We think giving advice is helping.

But here's what we miss: We never build emotional safety nets.

Women often do this instinctively. They listen first. They create space. They support before they solve.

The result? Deeper friendships. Stronger teams. And, as research shows, better leadership outcomes.

The best male leaders I know have learned this. They know that sometimes, people don't need your solution. They just need to feel understood.

Men: Try this. Next time someone shares a challenge, don't jump to advice. Ask: "How did that feel?" or "Tell me more."

It's time to redefine masculinity.

🎙️ I explore this with Andrew Reiner in the latest How to Live episode. Andrew wrote the bestselling Better Boys, Better Men and writes on masculinity for The New York Times. We discuss male friendships, emotional support, and why redefining strength might unlock better leadership and deeper relationships.

Shownotes

https://howtolive.life/episode/097-redefining-masculinity-with-andrew-reiner

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Be interested, not interesting.

𝐈𝐧 𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠.

Most high performers approach networking like a performance.

Say something clever. Be impressive. Stand out.

But being interesting takes energy. It puts pressure on you.

And it often keeps things at the surface.

There's a better way: Be interested instead.

Ask thoughtful questions. Listen deeply.

Let others do what they love most - talk about themselves.

It's lighter. It's more human.

And it builds real trust. The kind that leads to long-term relationships, not short-term transactions.

🎙️ This shift from performing to connecting is exactly what Ryan Lim, and I dive into in the latest How to Live episode. Ryan's the bestselling author of The Business of Networking, No 1 on Strait Times, and he shares why introverts often make the best networkers, and why curiosity is your greatest tool.

Buy Ryan's Book here - https://singapore.kinokuniya.com/bw/9789819423323

Get the first chapter free - https://bit.ly/BizNetworkChp1

Shownotes

https://howtolive.life/episode/096-networking-that-actually-feels-good-with-ryan-lim

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Most people stay stuck because they’re waiting for clarity.
Big mistake.

When you’re 15–20 years into your career, the destination will never be what you imagined anyway.

What’s really keeping you stuck isn’t a lack of direction. It’s fear.
Fear disguised as “being strategic.”
Fear disguised as “waiting for the right moment.”
Fear disguised as “needing more information.”

But here’s the thing:
You don’t overcome fear by thinking your way through it.
You overcome it by moving through it.

The path doesn’t appear before you move.
It reveals itself because you moved.

Start small: One conversation. One experiment. One step forward.

Your next chapter is waiting on the other side of action, not analysis.

🎙️ In the latest How to Live podcast, I’m sharing part of my conversation with the amazing Michelle on her Upward Spiral podcast.

We talk about practical ways to find purpose, how to move when stuck, and why your 40s might be the best time to reinvent yourself.

Shownotes

https://howtolive.life/episode/095-how-to-move-when-youre-stuck-a-conversation-with-sharad-lal

Check Michelle's Podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/4CNdVdUDHoWQ50oZmWKQ6R

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You’re running faster.
You’re winning.
But are you running in the right direction?

The success script teaches us to outrun others.
Outrun, Outwit, Outlast.

But it rarely asks:
Is this the race you want to win?

Bhavna Toor followed that script.
She rose fast in New York finance.
But eventually, she realized she was running the wrong race - without ever choosing it.

Mindfulness helped her pause.
Reflect.
And choose her own path.

Mindfulness did not stall her ambition.
It pointed it in the right direction.

Today, her ambition burns stronger than ever.
Because it’s aligned. Conscious. Sustainable.

Mindful ambition isn’t about slowing down.
It’s about choosing your direction - with clarity.

If you’re questioning your own race, this conversation on How to Live might resonate.

Are you running your own race — or just running faster?

Shownotes

https://howtolive.life/episode/094-mindful-ambition-with-bhavna-toor

Buy Bhavna's Book

https://shenomics.com/choice/

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Your annual health checkup is a good start. But it’s not enough.

You’re in your 40s. Your doctor says you're fine. Your weight looks fine.
But your energy is low. Your sleep is off. Something just feels… off.

Amanda Lim sees this every day.
She’s a Harvard-certified coach and co-founder of Singapore’s first Metabolic Clinic, advising companies like Google, PayPal, and Medtronic.

Her message?
You can look lean and healthy, and still be metabolically unwell.

In Singapore, many people look slim and fit, yet we’re facing a diabetes crisis.

Most annual checkups don’t catch it. They miss key signs like:

• Skeletal muscle mass (SMI)
• Visceral fat
• Fasting insulin
• VO₂ max

In this episode of How to Live, Amanda and I unpack the real health reset for your 40s — metabolism, muscle, and how to build strength from the inside out.

Episode Shownotes
https://howtolive.life/episode/093-muscle-metabolisim-midlife-reset-with-amanda-lim

Connect with Amanda

https://www.liftclinic.org/

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Founders (and leaders) are addicted to solving problems. It’s their crack cocaine.
That’s what startup scaling coach Rob Bier, author of Smooth Scaling and coach to 40+ startups including six unicorns, told me.
And the more I thought about it, the more it made sense.
Fixing things feels good. It proves we’re still valuable. Still sharp. Still in control.

But the addiction comes at a cost.
It blocks us from building teams that solve problems without us.
And it traps us in an old identity—just when we’re ready to grow into something new.

We explore this and more in this episode of the podcast.

Episode Shownotes
https://howtolive.life/episode/092-let-go-to-grow-with-rob-bier

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Most career transitions are treated like cliff jumps.
You quit the job. Burn the bridges. Bet everything on your dream.

Shiv Choudhury chose a different path.

When he left BCG to build a billion-dollar business, he didn’t go all in.
First, he faked an app. It didn’t even work.
But it taught him one thing: customers wanted what he was offering.
That was enough to move to the next stage.

He calls it “pre-to-typing.”
👉 A way to de-risk big moves by testing the most important assumption before you quit your job or raise capital.

Shiv isn’t just theorizing.
He’s lived it — and thrived.

His career spans P&G, BCG, co-founding a fast-growing startup now valued in the hundreds of millions, and launching a successful private equity firm.
Every move was intentional.
Every leap was tested.

In this episode, he gives a masterclass in how to evolve your career — without blowing it up.

He shares:
✅ The “pre-to-type” method for de-risking ideas
✅ Why staying in your job can be the brave thing
✅ His framework for deciding when to prototype, scale, or kill
✅ How a childhood trauma still shapes his risk-taking
✅ Why humility — not hustle — has been his edge

If you’re in a transition — or quietly planning one — this episode is for you.

Episode Shownotes
https://howtolive.life/episode/091-the-art-of-career-transitions-with-Shiv-Choudhury

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Which of These 6 Success Traps Is Holding You Back?

After my article on The Success Trap in Esquire resonated with so many, I’ve gone deeper in my latest How to Live podcast.

Working with thousands of senior leaders at Google, Unilever, and HSBC, I’ve identified 6 fear-based identities that block evolution:

🧠 The Solver – Fixes everything, but fears being dispensable → micromanagement
🎯 The Perfectionist – Sets high standards, but fears not being good enough → delays
🔥 The Workhorse – Outworks everyone, but fears not belonging → burnout
😎 The Charmer – Inspires others, but fears rejection → avoids tough decisions
📋 The Taskmaster – Executes efficiently, but fears uncertainty → kills innovation
🌟 The Visionary – Sees the future, but fears irrelevance → never follows through

These identities aren’t weaknesses - they’re strengths turned rigid by fear.
🎙️ Episode 90 explores how to evolve beyond them, without losing what made you successful.

Episode Shownotes
https://howtolive.life/episode/090-the-success-trap-when-success-holds-you-back-with-sharad-lal

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