
You Can't Be Serious
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Narrated by:
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Kal Penn
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By:
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Kal Penn
About this listen
The star of the Harold and Kumar franchise, House, and Designated Survivor recounts why he rejected the advice of his aunties and guidance counselors and, instead of becoming a doctor or “something practical,” embarked on a surprising journey that has included confronting racism in Hollywood, meeting his future husband, and working in the Obama administration, in this “incredibly joyful and insightful” (Kiefer Sutherland) memoir.
You Can’t Be Serious is a series of funny, consequential, awkward, and ridiculous stories from Kal Penn’s idiosyncratic life. It’s about being the grandson of Gandhian freedom fighters, and the son of immigrant parents: people who came to this country with very little and went very far—and whose vision of the American dream probably never included their son sliding off an oiled-up naked woman in the raunchy Ryan Reynolds movie Van Wilder…or getting a phone call from Air Force One as Kal flew with the country’s first Black president.
“By turns hilarious, poignant, and inspiring” (David Axelrod, New York Times bestselling author), Kal reflects on the most exasperating and rewarding moments from his journey so far. He pulls back the curtain on the nuances of opportunity and racism in the entertainment industry and recounts how he built allies, found encouragement, and dealt with early reminders that he might never fit in. He describes his initially unpromising first date with his now-fiancé Josh, involving an 18-pack of Coors Light and an afternoon of watching NASCAR. And of course, he reveals how, after a decade and a half of fighting for and enjoying successes in Hollywood, he made the terrifying but rewarding decision to take a sabbatical from a fulfilling acting career for an opportunity to serve his country as an Obama White House aide.
Above all, You Can’t Be Serious shows that everyone can have more than one life story. The book “is insightful, funny, and instructive for anyone who’s ever grappled with how they fit into the American dream” (Ronan Farrow, New York Times bestselling author), and demonstrates that no matter who you are and where you come from, you have many more choices than those presented to you. And okay, yes, it’s also about how Kal accidentally (and very stupidly) accepted an invitation to take the entire White House Office of Public Engagement to a strip club—because, let’s be honest, that’s the kind of stuff you really want to hear about.
©2021 Bhai, Inc. All rights reserved. (P)2021 Simon & Schuster Inc. All rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Penn has created a unique, honest performance, very different from the standard celebrity tell-all. This is an enjoyable and informative listen delivered by a pop-culture figure who's all grown up." — AudioFile Magazine
Featured Article: The top 100 celebrity memoirs of all time
The best celebrity memoir audiobooks are in a league of their own—there is no greater listening experience than a memoir performed by the celebrity behind the title. Their charisma and authenticity greatly enhance the experience, making it all the more engaging. Many listeners who would never think to read a celebrity memoir in print gravitate to the genre in audio. There’s something magical about hearing, in their own voice, the nitty-gritty of a star’s path.
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- Narrated by: Chasten Buttigieg
- Length: 7 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Throughout the past year, teacher Chasten Glezman Buttigieg has emerged on the national stage, having left his classroom in South Bend, Indiana, to travel cross-country in support of his husband, former mayor Pete Buttigieg, and Pete's groundbreaking presidential campaign. Through Chasten's joyful, witty social media posts, the public gained a behind-the-scenes look at his life with Pete on the trail - moments that might have ranged from the mundane to the surprising, but that were always heartfelt.
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A common yet inspiring and hopeful story
- By Steph on 09-03-20
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Off with My Head
- The Definitive Basic B*tch Handbook to Surviving Rock Bottom
- By: Stassi Schroeder
- Narrated by: Stassi Schroeder
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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The year 2020 was going to be the best year of Stassi’s life. Besides getting engaged and feeling like she was on top of the world career-wise, she bought her first house and was planning her dream Italian wedding. The future showed so much freaking promise—until it all went to hell. Stassi may not be perfect—she may have made some (major) mistakes—but she does feel like she has some insight (and plenty of hilarious tales) about getting knocked up, called out, and learning from what went wrong.
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Really Wanted to Like This, But...
- By Cathie on 08-09-23
By: Stassi Schroeder
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Survival of the Thickest
- Essays
- By: Michelle Buteau
- Narrated by: Michelle Buteau
- Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Stand-up comedian, actress, and host Michelle Buteau reflects on growing up Caribbean, Catholic, and thick in New Jersey, going to college in Miami (where everyone smells like pineapple), her many friendship and dating disasters, working as a newsroom editor during 9/11, getting started in stand-up opening for male strippers, marrying into her husband’s Dutch family, IVF and surrogacy, motherhood, chosen family, and what it feels like to have a full heart, tight jeans, and stardom finally in her grasp.
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Enjoyable listen, unexpected moments
- By Jessica on 12-28-20
By: Michelle Buteau
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You'll Grow Out of It
- By: Jessi Klein
- Narrated by: Jessi Klein
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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In You'll Grow Out of It, Jessi Klein offers - through an incisive collection of real-life stories - a relentlessly funny yet poignant take on a variety of topics she has experienced along her strange journey to womanhood and beyond. These include her "transformation from Pippi Longstocking-esque tomboy to are-you-a-lesbian-or-what tom man", attempting to find watchable porn, and identifying the difference between being called "ma'am" and "miss" (" miss sounds like you weigh 99 pounds").
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I like this woman so much!
- By Sarah F. on 07-24-16
By: Jessi Klein
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Being Henry
- The Fonz . . . and Beyond
- By: Henry Winkler
- Narrated by: Henry Winkler
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Henry Winkler, launched into prominence as “The Fonz” in the beloved Happy Days, has transcended the role that made him who he is. Brilliant, funny, and widely regarded as the nicest man in Hollywood (though he would be the first to tell you that it’s simply not the case, he’s really just grateful to be here), Henry shares in this achingly vulnerable memoir the disheartening truth of his childhood, the difficulties of a life with severe dyslexia, the pressures of a role that takes on a life of its own, and the path forward once your wildest dream seems behind you.
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Sweet human
- By Lisa Singer on 11-07-23
By: Henry Winkler
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Unorthodox
- The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots
- By: Deborah Feldman
- Narrated by: Rachel Botchan, Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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As a member of the strictly religious Satmar sect of Hasidic Judaism, Deborah Feldman grew up under a code of relentlessly enforced customs governing everything from what she could wear and to whom she could speak to what she was allowed to read. Yet in spite of her repressive upbringing, Deborah grew into an independent-minded young woman whose stolen moments reading about the empowered literary characters of Jane Austen and Louisa May Alcott helped her to imagine an alternative way of life among the skyscrapers of Manhattan.
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Narrator Problem
- By Phyllis on 04-24-20
By: Deborah Feldman
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Straight Shooter
- A Memoir of Second Chances and First Takes
- By: Stephen A. Smith
- Narrated by: Stephen A. Smith
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Stephen A. Smith has never been handed anything, nor was he an overnight success. Growing up poor in Queens, the son of Caribbean immigrants and the youngest of six children, he was a sports-obsessed kid who faced struggles, from undiagnosed dyslexia to getting enough cereal to fill his bowl. As a basketball player at Winston-Salem State University, he got a glimmer of his true calling when he wrote a newspaper column arguing for the retirement of his own Hall of Fame coach, Clarence Gaines.
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Trash🗑
- By Maurice Davis on 01-25-23
By: Stephen A. Smith
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Grimoire Girl
- A Memoir of Magic and Mischief
- By: Hilarie Burton Morgan
- Narrated by: Hilarie Burton Morgan
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Since childhood, Hilarie Burton Morgan has felt the call to record, keep and catalogue life in all its strange wonder. It was a whimsical habit, with no clear goal. And then, when she became a mother, the importance of all that collecting snapped into focus.
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A Reminder of the Magic in Life!
- By Kiana on 11-04-23
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The Foundling
- The True Story of a Kidnapping, a Family Secret, and My Search for the Real Me
- By: Paul Joseph Fronczak, Alex Tresniowski
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 11 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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The Foundling tells the incredible and inspiring true story of Paul Fronczak, a man who recently discovered via a DNA test that he was not who he thought he was - and set out to solve two 50-year-old mysteries at once. Along the way he upturned the genealogy industry, unearthed his family's deepest secrets, and broke open the second longest cold-case in US history, all in a desperate bid to find out who he really is.
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Prepare yourself for a journey that will take you to shocking places!
- By OUChris on 04-04-17
By: Paul Joseph Fronczak, and others
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Love Warrior
- A Memoir
- By: Glennon Doyle
- Narrated by: Glennon Doyle
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Just when Glennon Doyle Melton was beginning to feel she had it all figured out - three happy children, a doting spouse, and a writing career so successful that her first book catapulted to the top of the New York Times best seller list - her husband revealed his infidelity and she was forced to realize that nothing was as it seemed. A recovering alcoholic and bulimic, Glennon found that rock bottom was a familiar place. In the midst of crisis, she knew to hold on to what she discovered in recovery: that her deepest pain has always held within it an invitation to a richer life.
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A good examination of Pain, Hope and Love.
- By Kelly on 10-04-16
By: Glennon Doyle
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That Will Never Work
- The Birth of Netflix and the Amazing Life of an Idea
- By: Marc Randolph
- Narrated by: Marc Randolph
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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In the tradition of Phil Knight's Shoe Dog comes the incredible untold story of how Netflix went from concept to company—all revealed by cofounder and first CEO Marc Randolph. From idea generation to team building to knowing when it's time to let go, That Will Never Work is not only the ultimate follow-your-dreams parable, but also one of the most dramatic and insightful entrepreneurial stories of our time.
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Cut off at the end of chapter 18
- By Penny posey on 09-25-19
By: Marc Randolph
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Consider This
- Moments in My Writing Life After Which Everything Was Different
- By: Chuck Palahniuk
- Narrated by: Chuck Palahniuk, Edoardo Ballerini
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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In this spellbinding blend of memoir and insight, best-selling author Chuck Palahniuk shares stories and generous advice on what makes writing powerful and what makes for powerful writing. With advice grounded in years of careful study and a keenly observed life, Palahniuk combines practical advice and concrete examples from beloved classics, his own books, and a "kitchen-table MFA" culled from an evolving circle of beloved authors and artists, with anecdotes, postcards from the road, and much more.
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Poetic Justice
- By Dave Green on 01-20-20
By: Chuck Palahniuk
What listeners say about You Can't Be Serious
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- C.Salet
- 12-12-21
Who would have known, I didn't
I enjoyed it to the end. Not sure why I decided to read about Kal Penn, I've seen him in a couple of movies and was impressed, but, I'm glad I did. it was a good read learning about him, his struggles, his success, his life.
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- John
- 12-01-21
Funny, Honest, and Very Entertaining!
Kal Penn nails it! I hated that the ride had to end. It gives you all the feelscand the funny, and provides such an honest look at Kal's amazing life. Bravo!
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- jonathan montalvo
- 12-28-21
kal Penn is extremely smart and funny...
Enjoyed this book. definitely pick this up! you wint regret it... Thank you... 😊
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- Lindsay
- 06-22-22
Kal Penn is so likable!
And so is his story. Listening to him find balance in his life between all of his passions, all while keeping a sense of humor, was very enjoyable. I found myself emotional when he talked about his experience with the Obama campaign. Absolutely a fun read that will actually leave you with some knowledge too.
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- Anonymous User
- 12-10-21
Kal Penn is so hilarious
I thought it was well written, heartfelt, serious, but funny. Well done dude. Thanks!
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- Carissa Johnson
- 01-07-22
So good!
I loved this. The insider stories from the Obama White House, the stories of racism in the industry, all of it — worth a listen.
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- Seamripper
- 03-15-22
Hilarious and engaging!
I wasn't a MASSIVE fan of Kal's but enjoyed some of his work. This was a wonderful and engaging story, told in a well paced way. I didn't want it to end and now I'm a fan and I'm going back to watch many of his movies I missed over the years.
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- Mary Kate Murphy
- 01-17-22
Loved this book!
Kal Penn told an absolutely wonderful story and hearing it in his voice made it all the better. His introspective observations and explanations were insightful and very often laugh-out-loud funny. This is one I look forward to listening to again.
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- Manju Mohan
- 11-15-21
Another great performance from Kal Penn
Really great read. As an Indian American a lot of the anecdotes and stories were familiar and resonated with me. It was also eye opening to see how people of color are and were treated in Hollywood. Clearly we all still have a long way to go.
Learned a lot of new things in this book (like Sunnyside even existed!! WTF NBC I would have watched that if I knew about it) and was reminded of the troubles in my own youth growing up brown in a small town that was 80%+ white.
Great read and I hope for continued success to Kal.
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- Michelle
- 02-18-22
Great book
The fact that he reads the book himself makes it waaaay more interesting. Great book great listen. Would totally recommend.
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