
The Weight of Beautiful
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Narrated by:
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Jackie Goldschneider
About this listen
Jackie Goldschneider, star of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, bravely chronicles her decades-long battle with anorexia and public journey to recovery in this “courageously candid” (Kirkus Reviews) memoir.
All Jackie Goldschneider ever wanted was to be thin. As a child, she’d stand in front of the mirror, sucking in her stomach and arching her back to feel her ribs, praying to see a model-like figure looking back. As an obese teen, lonely and tormented by her weight, her doctor encouraged her to start dieting, ultimately leading to a prolonged battle with anorexia that nearly took her life.
After decades of hiding her eating disorder from friends, family, and the world, Jackie is ready to expose the realities of her devastating struggle, including the harrowing day-to-day tactics she employed to count calories and restrict meals, her struggles with fertility and pregnancy, the effects of her eating disorder on her relationships with her husband and children, and ultimately how, in a twist of fate, becoming a reality TV star saved her life.
The Weight of Beautiful is Jackie’s personal story, but within it are also the stories of millions like her, striving to lead healthy, happy lives despite their eating disorders. In the vein of Unbearable Lightness, Hiding from Reality, and What Remains, The Weight of Beautiful is a moving testament of strength, honesty, and recovery.
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Story
Precociously intelligent, imaginative, energetic, and ambitious, Marya Hornbacher grew up in a comfortable middle-class American home. At the age of 5, she returned home from ballet class one day, put on an enormous sweater, curled up on her bed, and cried because she thought she was fat. By age 9, she was secretly bulimic, throwing up at home after school, while watching Brady Bunch reruns on television and munching Fritos. She added anorexia to her repertoire a few years later and took great pride in her ability to starve. Marya's story gathers intensity with each passing year. By the time she is in college and working for a wire news service in Washington D.C., she is in the grip of a bout of anorexia so horrifying that it will forever put to rest the romance of wasting away. Down to 52 pounds and counting, Marya becomes a battlefield: her powerful death instinct at war with the will to live. Why would a talented young girl go through the looking glass and slip into a netherworld where up is down, food is greed, and death is honor? Why enter into a love affair with hunger, drugs, sex, and death? Marya Hornbacher sustained both anorexia and bulimia through 5 lengthy hospitalizations, endless therapy, the loss of family, friends, jobs, and ultimately, any sense of what it means to be "normal." In this vivid, emotionally wrenching memoir, she recreates the experience and illuminates the tangle of personal, family, and cultural causes underlying eating disorders.
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Abridged=Horrible
- By Kelly on 05-05-13
By: Marya Hornbacher
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The Skinny
- My Messy, Hopeful Fight for Full Recovery from Anorexia
- By: Sheri Segal Glick
- Narrated by: Sheri Segal Glick
- Length: 6 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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In this powerful memoir, Sheri Segal Glick explores her rough, rocky, rutted road to being in recovery. As a young teenager, Sheri developed anorexia, and has battled the illness for decades. The Skinny explores her journey, from her tumultuous time as a teenager to the disease rearing its ugly head as an adult, with her signature wit, wry humour, and absolute honesty.
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Loved the audible!! Great narration
- By ef on 05-18-24
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Paperweight
- By: Meg Haston
- Narrated by: Mandy Siegfried
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Seventeen-year-old Stevie is trapped. In her life. And now in an eating-disorder treatment center on the dusty outskirts of the New Mexico desert. Life in the center is regimented and intrusive, a nightmare come true. Nurses and therapists watch Stevie at mealtime, accompany her to the bathroom, and challenge her to eat the foods she's worked so hard to avoid.
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The Fake Southern Accent? Yeeeeesh!
- By Daryl on 06-30-17
By: Meg Haston
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Caviar Dreams, Tuna Fish Budget
- How to Survive in Business and Life
- By: Margaret Josephs
- Narrated by: Margaret Josephs
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Margaret Josephs is a hustler. She’s a tough cookie. She speaks her mind. She never leaves the house without lipstick on. She’s also a devoted wife, mother, daughter, businesswoman, lifestyle expert, and fan-favorite star of the reality TV series The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Sounds pretty glamorous, right? Well, things are never exactly as they seem.
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Love “the Marge!”
- By katie grither on 04-22-21
By: Margaret Josephs
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Pretty Mess
- By: Erika Jayne
- Narrated by: Erika Jayne
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Erika Jayne didn't make it this far by holding back. Now, in her first-ever memoir, the fan favorite star of Bravo's The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills bares her heart, mind, and soul. In Pretty Mess, Erika spills on every aspect of her life: from her rise to fame as a daring and fiery pop/dance performer and singer; to her decision to accept a role on reality television; to the ups and downs of family life (including her marriage to famed lawyer Tom Girardi, 33 years her senior). There's much more to Erika Jayne than fans see on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
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I wanted to like this so bad.
- By shelly arp on 03-21-18
By: Erika Jayne
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Standing Strong
- By: Teresa Giudice
- Narrated by: Teresa Giudice
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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In her second memoir, Teresa chronicles her life since her release from prison and what it's been like to weather difficult times as a single mother. Though she recounts the happy memories she has experienced over the past year, she also touches upon some of the darkest times of her life, including her parents' hospitalizations for severe medical issues in late 2016, which led to the tragic passing of her mother in March of 2017.
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She Reminds Me of a Bigger Milania
- By DFW on 10-11-17
By: Teresa Giudice
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The Girls at 17 Swann Street
- By: Yara Zgheib
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Anna Roux was a professional dancer who followed the man of her dreams from Paris to Missouri. There, alone with her biggest fears - imperfection, failure, loneliness - she spirals down anorexia and depression till she weighs a mere 88 pounds. Forced to seek treatment, she is admitted as a patient at 17 Swann Street, a peach pink house where pale, fragile women with life-threatening eating disorders live. Women like Emm, the veteran; quiet Valerie; Julia, always hungry. Together, they must fight their diseases and face six meals a day.
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Wonderful
- By JoelleW on 02-25-19
By: Yara Zgheib
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Thin Girls
- A Novel
- By: Diana Clarke
- Narrated by: Jayme Mattler
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Rose and Lily Winters are twins, as close as the bond implies; they feel each other’s emotions, taste what the other is feeling. Like most young women, they’ve struggled with their bodies and food since childhood, and high school finds them turning to food - or not - to battle the waves of insecurity and the yearning for popularity. But their connection can be as destructive as it is supportive, a yin to yang. When Rose stops eating, Lily starts - consuming everything Rose won’t or can’t.
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nothing special
- By Drine on 10-11-20
By: Diana Clarke
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Dying to Be Thin
- The True Story of My Lifelong Battle Against Anorexia
- By: Nikki Grahame
- Narrated by: Yaz Shah
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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"The figure looking back at me was little more than a skeleton with just a thin layer of tissue paper for skin, drawn over the stick-like bones. I stood staring for a good couple of minutes, considering what I'd become. And my verdict? Brilliant, I thought. It's been worth every moment of all that hard work". Say the name Nikki Grahame and most people will remember the bubbly, highly strung and hugely entertaining Big Brother 7 contestant.
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Not What You Might Think
- By ro_runner on 11-07-15
By: Nikki Grahame
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Before We Were Blue
- By: E.J. Schwartz
- Narrated by: Chloe Dolandis, Gail Shalan
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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At Recovery and Relief, a treatment center for girls with eating disorders, the first thing Shoshana Winnick does is attach herself to vibrant but troubled Rowan Parish. Shoshana — a cheerleader on a hit reality TV show — was admitted for starving herself to ensure her growth spurt didn’t ruin her infamous tumbling skills. Rowan, on the other hand, has known anorexia her entire life, thanks to her mother’s “chew and spit” guidance.
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Meh
- By Pink Amy on 01-03-25
By: E.J. Schwartz
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Not All Diamonds and Rosé
- The Inside Story of The Real Housewives from the People Who Lived It
- By: Dave Quinn
- Narrated by: Amy Phillips
- Length: 20 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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What is it really like to be a housewife? We all want to know, but only the women we love to watch and the people who make the show have the whole story. Well, listen in close, because they’re about to tell all.
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If you like awful imitations, read on
- By Thom Pierson on 02-22-22
By: Dave Quinn
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Hunger
- A Memoir of (My) Body
- By: Roxane Gay
- Narrated by: Roxane Gay
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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In her phenomenally popular essays and long-running Tumblr blog, Roxane Gay has written with intimacy and sensitivity about food and body, using her own emotional and psychological struggles as a means of exploring our shared anxieties over pleasure, consumption, appearance, and health. As a woman who describes her own body as "wildly undisciplined", Roxane understands the tension between desire and denial, between self-comfort and self-care.
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Dark, thought provoking, sometimes frustrating
- By River Holmes-miller on 06-21-17
By: Roxane Gay
What listeners say about The Weight of Beautiful
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-16-23
Excellent!
A really great listen! You can hear the anguish in Jackie’s narration of her journey with anorexia. At points it’s hard to listen to the torture she put herself through. I congratulate her for her recovery! She’s a beautiful person inside and out.
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- Catherine G.
- 10-27-24
Vulnerability
Jackie...thank you for your exceptional transparency. This book shines a light on a disease that I believe has continued to be overlooked. The emotion behind your words is palpable. I highly recommend this book not only to see what's behind the wall anorexia but to see through to the heart of a character we see week after week. What we learn through the personal words of an incredible journey is that you are not a character at all. You are a person who has silently lived the trauma of food, a basic need that no one should ever fear. What a tremendous journey! Thank you for sharing this with us. May you continue to walk in strength. You are worthy of a healthy life of love, success and triumph. My only recommendation would be to please put a warning about the level of transparency as you take us through your journey given the level of detail.
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- Jane T.
- 09-30-23
A heartfelt beautifully written book that will help many
Thank you Jackie for sharing your story. You are a very courageous and gutsy lady. I could relate to so many things you experienced. I have no doubt that you will help many people who read your story. I could not put this book down. It is beautifully written and narrated. Jackie’s voice conveyed so much emotion and sincerity. A wonderful read!
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-06-23
Vulnerable, full of personal truth, brutal and beautiful
I hope Jackie knows how much she is helping and loaning out grace from her own experience to the listener.
Brutal and beautiful, Jackie. Well done!
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- larry twyford
- 09-27-23
Informative and intriguing
Jackie have a voice to so many of us that have food issues. This is a deep dive into anorexia. Trigger warnings.
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- Maureen Dwyer
- 10-25-23
Great read
I too suffered with a eating disorder. Her courage to write about it moved me.
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- VicG
- 03-04-24
Love the honesty!
I loved how honest, open and vulnerable she was, and you could hear it in her voice. ED are so scary and the public, in general, are very unaware of this disease .

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- Rich c
- 01-08-24
Great book!
Every woman should read this book. So relatable it made me cry and laugh. Beautifully written and so vulnerable. Chapter 9 and ten made me sob.
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- Jasper Sanfilippo
- 10-05-23
Very interesting story
Jackie does a great job providing a glimpse into her world and her struggles with anorexia
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- Vanessa N Gonzales
- 10-10-23
Thank you
Powerful and honest. I love that this was sugar coated and didn’t pull any punches.
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