
Elena Vanishing
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Lauren Fortgang
About this listen
Seventeen-year-old Elena is vanishing. Every day means renewed determination, so every day means fewer calories. This is the story of a girl whose armor against anxiety becomes artillery against herself as she battles on both sides of a lose-lose war in a struggle with anorexia.
Told entirely from Elena's perspective over a five-year period and cowritten with her mother, award-winning author Clare B. Dunkle, Elena's memoir is a fascinating and intimate look at a deadly disease and a must-listen for anyone who knows someone suffering from an eating disorder.
©2015 Elena and Clare B. Dunkle (P)2015 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Story
In this searing, unflinchingly honest book, Portia de Rossi captures the complex emotional truth of what it is like when food, weight, and body image take priority over every other human impulse or action. She recounts the elaborate rituals around eating that came to dominate hours of every day, from keeping her daily calorie intake below 300 to eating precisely measured amounts of food out of specific bowls and only with certain utensils. When this wasn’t enough, she resorted to purging and compulsive physical exercise, driving her body and spirit to the breaking point.
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For All Dieters, not just Anorexic Girls
- By Coghan on 02-20-13
By: Portia de Rossi
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Good Girls
- A Study and Story of Anorexia
- By: Hadley Freeman
- Narrated by: Hadley Freeman
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1995, Hadley Freeman wrote in her diary: “I just spent three years of my life in mental hospitals. So why am I crazier than I was before????” From the ages of 14 to 17, Freeman lived in psychiatric wards after developing anorexia nervosa. Her doctors informed her that her body was cannibalizing her muscles and heart for nutrition, but they could tell her little else: why she had it, what it felt like, what recovery looked like. For the next twenty years, Freeman lived as a “functioning anorexic,” grappling with new forms of self-destructive behavior as the anorexia mutated and persisted.
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Has potential, but missed the mark.
- By Ian N. on 02-11-24
By: Hadley Freeman
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Paperweight
- By: Meg Haston
- Narrated by: Mandy Siegfried
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Seventeen-year-old Stevie is trapped. In her life. And now in an eating-disorder treatment center on the dusty outskirts of the New Mexico desert. Life in the center is regimented and intrusive, a nightmare come true. Nurses and therapists watch Stevie at mealtime, accompany her to the bathroom, and challenge her to eat the foods she's worked so hard to avoid.
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The Fake Southern Accent? Yeeeeesh!
- By Daryl on 06-30-17
By: Meg Haston
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The Girls at 17 Swann Street
- By: Yara Zgheib
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Anna Roux was a professional dancer who followed the man of her dreams from Paris to Missouri. There, alone with her biggest fears - imperfection, failure, loneliness - she spirals down anorexia and depression till she weighs a mere 88 pounds. Forced to seek treatment, she is admitted as a patient at 17 Swann Street, a peach pink house where pale, fragile women with life-threatening eating disorders live. Women like Emm, the veteran; quiet Valerie; Julia, always hungry. Together, they must fight their diseases and face six meals a day.
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Wonderful
- By JoelleW on 02-25-19
By: Yara Zgheib
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Thin Girls
- A Novel
- By: Diana Clarke
- Narrated by: Jayme Mattler
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Rose and Lily Winters are twins, as close as the bond implies; they feel each other’s emotions, taste what the other is feeling. Like most young women, they’ve struggled with their bodies and food since childhood, and high school finds them turning to food - or not - to battle the waves of insecurity and the yearning for popularity. But their connection can be as destructive as it is supportive, a yin to yang. When Rose stops eating, Lily starts - consuming everything Rose won’t or can’t.
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nothing special
- By Drine on 10-11-20
By: Diana Clarke
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The Weight of Beautiful
- By: Jackie Goldschneider
- Narrated by: Jackie Goldschneider
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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All Jackie Goldschneider ever wanted was to be thin. As a child, she’d stand in front of the mirror, sucking in her stomach and arching her back to feel her ribs, praying to see a model-like figure looking back. As an obese teen, lonely and tormented by her weight, her doctor encouraged her to start dieting, ultimately leading to a prolonged battle with anorexia that nearly took her life. After decades of hiding her eating disorder from friends, family, and the world, Jackie is ready to expose the realities of her devastating struggle.
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Such a great book
- By Chelsea Sylva on 03-16-25
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Before We Were Blue
- By: E.J. Schwartz
- Narrated by: Chloe Dolandis, Gail Shalan
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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At Recovery and Relief, a treatment center for girls with eating disorders, the first thing Shoshana Winnick does is attach herself to vibrant but troubled Rowan Parish. Shoshana — a cheerleader on a hit reality TV show — was admitted for starving herself to ensure her growth spurt didn’t ruin her infamous tumbling skills. Rowan, on the other hand, has known anorexia her entire life, thanks to her mother’s “chew and spit” guidance.
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Meh
- By Pink Amy on 01-03-25
By: E.J. Schwartz
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Wintergirls
- By: Laurie Halse Anderson
- Narrated by: Phoebe Strole
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Lia and Cassie are best friends, wintergirls frozen in fragile bodies, competitors in a deadly contest to see who can be the thinnest. But then Cassie suffers the ultimate loss - her life - and Lia is left behind, haunted by her friend's memory and racked with guilt for not being able to help save her.
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entertaining
- By Mora Barrientos on 11-03-19
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The Art of Starving
- By: Sam J. Miller
- Narrated by: Tom Phelan
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Matt hasn't eaten in days. His stomach stabs and twists inside, pleading for a meal, but Matt won't give in. The hunger clears his mind, keeps him sharp - and he needs to be as sharp as possible if he's going to find out just how Tariq and his band of high school bullies drove his sister, Maya, away. Matt's hardworking mom keeps the kitchen crammed with food, but Matt can resist the siren call of casseroles and cookies because he has discovered something: the less he eats the more he seems to have...powers.
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Transformative book!
- By Uno Person on 01-01-20
By: Sam J. Miller
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An Apple a Day
- A Memoir of Love and Recovery from Anorexia
- By: Emma Woolf
- Narrated by: Emma Woolf
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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I haven't tasted chocolate for over ten years and now I'm walking down the street unwrapping a Kit Kat. Remember when Kate Moss said, 'Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels'? She's wrong: chocolate does. At the age of 32, after ten years of hiding from the truth, Emma Woolf finally decided it was time to face the biggest challenge of her life. Addicted to hunger, exercise and control, she was juggling a full-blown eating disorder with a successful career, functioning on an apple a day.
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A memoir of a silver spoon, maybe.
- By S. covely on 06-05-16
By: Emma Woolf
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thinandbeautiful.com
- By: Liane Shaw
- Narrated by: Miranda Millar
- Length: 6 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Seventeen-year-old Maddie has always felt a hole in her life, but she has finally found a way to fill it with her quest to mold her body into her ideal, thinnest shape. When she comes across the world of “thinspiration” websites, where young people encourage each other in their mission to lose weight, she quickly becomes addicted. Finally, she has found a place where she is understood and where she can belong.
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actually written by an anorexic
- By Dorain Shmlorian on 02-28-24
By: Liane Shaw
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Sick Enough
- A Guide to the Medical Complications of Eating Disorders
- By: Jennifer L. Gaudiani MD CEDS FAED
- Narrated by: Donna Postel
- Length: 11 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Patients with eating disorders frequently feel that they aren't "sick enough" to merit treatment, despite medical problems that are both measurable and unmeasurable. They may struggle to accept rest, nutrition, and a team to help them move towards recovery. Sick Enough offers patients, their families, and clinicians a comprehensive, accessible review of the medical issues that arise from eating disorders by bringing relatable case presentations and a scientifically sound, engaging style to the topic.
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Great, and not so great
- By Anonymous on 11-07-21
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Madness
- A Bipolar Life
- By: Marya Hornbacher
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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When Marya Hornbacher published her first book, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia, she did not yet have the piece of shattering knowledge that would finally make sense of the chaos of her life. At age 24, Hornbacher was diagnosed with type I rapid-cycle bipolar, the most severe form of bipolar disorder. In Madness, in her trademark wry and utterly self-revealing voice, Hornbacher tells her new story.
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THANK YOU!!!!!
- By kelly massoni on 10-01-21
By: Marya Hornbacher
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It Was Me All Along
- A Memoir
- By: Andie Mitchell
- Narrated by: Andie Mitchell
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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All her life, Andie Mitchell had eaten lustily and mindlessly. Food was her babysitter, her best friend, her confidant, and it provided a refuge from her fractured family. But when she stepped on the scale on her 20th birthday and it registered a shocking 268 pounds, she knew she had to change the way she thought about food and herself; that her life was at stake.
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Wanted to love this...
- By AndreaJane on 01-16-15
By: Andie Mitchell
What listeners say about Elena Vanishing
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- J.B.
- 01-30-18
Well written, but repetitive.
A wonderful writer with strong visuals - however, when listening you will start to dread hearing either "said the voice in my head" or "stupid bitch." Otherwise, great book!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Susie
- 09-16-15
Eaten from Within
Elena Dunkle's memoir re-lives her struggle with anorexia, when it was a separate force consuming her, a demon working against her. This might be the truest portrait of this disorder out there.
She gives a vivid account of the state of mind that anyone with psychological problems, from depression to addiction, can recognize, highlighting the inner voice that constantly counteracts any acknowledgement, any progress toward a healthy mindset. It's a harrowing story that gives you a clear understanding of the disease eating up a victim.
When Elena finally starts to come around, she is again, so honest and so accurate, that you know that recovery is not a straightforward path, it will be a lifetime's work.
The extraordinary Lauren Fortgang does a bang-up job as narrator. She makes it nearly a dramatization, giving the memoir an extra layer of meaning.
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13 people found this helpful
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- E. Boyd
- 11-16-18
It's Real
It's a story unlike any other eating disorder related story that I've read. It not only comes from a person who genuinely understands the disorder, but also some who is artistic enough to portray those feelings in a writing style thats telling and heart-wrenching. It's a relatable book for all those who know that inner voice that constantly tells you you're not good enough. I especially appreciate the recovery process. A lot of books make it seem like recovery is easy and that all the problems go away once you realize the source and decide to change. This one is different. It tells that the voice is still there but shows how you can use it, shift it in a way, to encourage yourself to get better. I truly appreciate this author for putting herself out there like this. It's a very raw depiction of the recovery process that starts from the first chapter. Thank you, Elena.
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1 person found this helpful
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- jess
- 05-10-21
Amazing
this story is so well told. One of the best books about ED I have read since Marya Hornbachers 'wasted. ' also, the performance by Lauren Fortang is great.
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- Michelle Becker
- 01-25-25
Beautiful
This hits too close to home on too many levels. I found myself crying through many of the later chapters. So brave to share this story with others. May the author continue to win the fight and always remember to hug her loved ones.
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- Kathleen Bland
- 01-26-21
Awesome
I've personally read about 5 ED books in the past 2 months and this is by far my favorite so far. I loved the performance and I could really relate to Elena. She cares so much more for others than herself but in doing so she can no longer take care of others bc the condition she has left herself in. I can absolutely relate! Her mother as well reminds me a lot of my mother. it was just such a relatable book even though our storys are very different the book was written so well that it was like I was taking the journey with her. There were some Cons to the book though, the timeline was a little off. I didn't like how the author would skip months without explaining what happened in those months. that made it a little hard to follow. I also felt as though the author expected us to know more than she explained sometimes and I would have to go back and re-read to make sure I didn't miss anything. Last comment on the book would be that if you are currently struggling with an ED this book will probably Trigger you. Read it in recovery and you'll love it too. Other than those Cons the book was great! 10 out of 10 definitely would recommend if your in recovery for an ED.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Shamrock
- 08-22-21
Well written and performed.
Gripping, realistic, poignant, saga of a girl with an eating disorder. I couldn’t put it down. Must read
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1 person found this helpful
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- Tash
- 01-14-23
ED recovery
i have a eating disorder and I enjoyed this so much. I could relate to some of the things this woman was talking about. this was good.
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- aong
- 01-29-17
Compelling
Compelling story that opens our eyes and ears to what ED sufferers and their carers go through. While everyone has a different story, Elena's story certainly touched my heart and helped forged a deeper understanding of ED.
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- Fluxis360
- 05-23-20
Good Story, Grating Narration
It could be my fault, since my brain reads most books with calmer, apathetic voices (it’s my preference), but I don’t feel like a teenager’s battle with anorexia is supposed to sound like a 1920’s thriller. She reads every line like an excited, overzealous flapper and it’s honestly hard to get through. I’m sure she’s a fine person, I don’t mean to be judgmental. It’s just grating and out of place.
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1 person found this helpful