
Ten Things I Hate About Me
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $15.98
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Joe Tracini
-
By:
-
Joe Tracini
About this listen
Hi. I hope you're ok.
My name's Joe, and I have one job, every day: don't kill myself.
I live with a complex mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
15% of people with BPD die by suicide, and 40% try.
I'm already in the 40%. My job is to keep out of the 15%.
In this book I want to try and explain what life is like when you have a brain that is essentially trying to murder you every day. It's a collection of the funny, sad and shocking stuff that has happened to me along the way.
Writing this book has been the hardest thing I've ever done. It had to be dragged into the world, with my condition telling me that every single word, sentence and chapter was terrible and would make strangers walk up to me in the street and punch me in the face.
But I had run out of options. I'd done everything I 'd been told to do and I still thought about killing myself every day. So I wrote this book to save my life.
But if there is even the smallest chance that me telling you how I live with me helps you live with you; if it opens up a space for someone, somewhere to be more honest about their mental illness, it will have been worth it.
Please don't kill yourself.
Love Joe xx
©2022 Joe Tracini (P)2022 Orion Publishing GroupListeners also enjoyed...
-
I Hate You - Don't Leave Me: Third Edition
- Understanding the Borderline Personality
- By: Jerold J. Kreisman, Hal Straus
- Narrated by: Kevin R. Free
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After more than three decades as the essential guide to borderline personality disorder (BPD), the third edition of I Hate You - Don’t Leave Me now reflects the most up-to-date research that has opened doors to the neurobiological, genetic, and developmental roots of the disorder, as well as connections between BPD and substance abuse, sexual abuse, post-traumatic stress syndrome, ADHD, and eating disorders.
-
-
Antiquated
- By Jace on 10-13-21
By: Jerold J. Kreisman, and others
-
Get Me Out of Here
- My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder
- By: Rachel Reiland
- Narrated by: Mazhan Marno
- Length: 11 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Borderline Personality Disorder. "What the hell was that?" raged Rachel Reiland when she read the diagnosis written in her medical chart. As the 29-year old accountant, wife, and mother of young children would soon discover, it was the diagnosis that finally explained her explosive anger, manipulative behaviors, and self-destructive episodes- including bouts of anorexia, substance abuse, and sexual promiscuity.
-
-
May be worth the pain.
- By SLSoul on 03-26-12
By: Rachel Reiland
-
Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder
- Discover the Different Types of BPD: Effective Skills to Manage Your Daily Battles and Strategies to Help Others Improve Their Relationship with You
- By: Jennifer C. Dove
- Narrated by: Mary Kell
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Do you often find yourself happy and excited one minute, then upset and sad the next without even knowing why? Are you having a hard time making romantic relationships work because you’re afraid your partner will leave? Have you physically hurt a loved one–or yourself–out of extreme anger that you failed to control or stop? Or are you related to or concerned about someone with BPD–you don’t understand the disorder and want help? You’re not alone.
-
-
Excellent discussion
- By D. Griffin on 05-29-23
By: Jennifer C. Dove
-
I'm Glad My Mom Died
- By: Jennette McCurdy
- Narrated by: Jennette McCurdy
- Length: 6 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction." She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income. In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail.
-
-
Unexpectedly poor narration
- By Glitchzig on 08-10-22
By: Jennette McCurdy
-
The Body Keeps the Score
- Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
- By: Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 16 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent more than three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.
-
-
Overall Worthwhile, Lingers Too Long in the Why
- By LittleBeadsOfMercury on 04-07-21
-
Building a Life Worth Living
- A Memoir
- By: Marsha M. Linehan
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber, Stephen Mendel
- Length: 12 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
"Are you one of us?" a patient once asked Marsha Linehan, the world-renowned psychologist who developed dialectical behavior therapy. "Because if you were, it would give all of us so much hope." Over the years, DBT had saved the lives of countless people fighting depression and suicidal thoughts, but Linehan had never revealed that her pioneering work was inspired by her own desperate struggles as a young woman. Only when she received this question did she finally decide to tell her story.
-
-
What an amazing journey!!
- By Sharon-nyc on 01-31-20
-
I Hate You - Don't Leave Me: Third Edition
- Understanding the Borderline Personality
- By: Jerold J. Kreisman, Hal Straus
- Narrated by: Kevin R. Free
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After more than three decades as the essential guide to borderline personality disorder (BPD), the third edition of I Hate You - Don’t Leave Me now reflects the most up-to-date research that has opened doors to the neurobiological, genetic, and developmental roots of the disorder, as well as connections between BPD and substance abuse, sexual abuse, post-traumatic stress syndrome, ADHD, and eating disorders.
-
-
Antiquated
- By Jace on 10-13-21
By: Jerold J. Kreisman, and others
-
Get Me Out of Here
- My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder
- By: Rachel Reiland
- Narrated by: Mazhan Marno
- Length: 11 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Borderline Personality Disorder. "What the hell was that?" raged Rachel Reiland when she read the diagnosis written in her medical chart. As the 29-year old accountant, wife, and mother of young children would soon discover, it was the diagnosis that finally explained her explosive anger, manipulative behaviors, and self-destructive episodes- including bouts of anorexia, substance abuse, and sexual promiscuity.
-
-
May be worth the pain.
- By SLSoul on 03-26-12
By: Rachel Reiland
-
Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder
- Discover the Different Types of BPD: Effective Skills to Manage Your Daily Battles and Strategies to Help Others Improve Their Relationship with You
- By: Jennifer C. Dove
- Narrated by: Mary Kell
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Do you often find yourself happy and excited one minute, then upset and sad the next without even knowing why? Are you having a hard time making romantic relationships work because you’re afraid your partner will leave? Have you physically hurt a loved one–or yourself–out of extreme anger that you failed to control or stop? Or are you related to or concerned about someone with BPD–you don’t understand the disorder and want help? You’re not alone.
-
-
Excellent discussion
- By D. Griffin on 05-29-23
By: Jennifer C. Dove
-
I'm Glad My Mom Died
- By: Jennette McCurdy
- Narrated by: Jennette McCurdy
- Length: 6 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction." She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income. In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail.
-
-
Unexpectedly poor narration
- By Glitchzig on 08-10-22
By: Jennette McCurdy
-
The Body Keeps the Score
- Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
- By: Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 16 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent more than three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.
-
-
Overall Worthwhile, Lingers Too Long in the Why
- By LittleBeadsOfMercury on 04-07-21
-
Building a Life Worth Living
- A Memoir
- By: Marsha M. Linehan
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber, Stephen Mendel
- Length: 12 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
"Are you one of us?" a patient once asked Marsha Linehan, the world-renowned psychologist who developed dialectical behavior therapy. "Because if you were, it would give all of us so much hope." Over the years, DBT had saved the lives of countless people fighting depression and suicidal thoughts, but Linehan had never revealed that her pioneering work was inspired by her own desperate struggles as a young woman. Only when she received this question did she finally decide to tell her story.
-
-
What an amazing journey!!
- By Sharon-nyc on 01-31-20
-
Sure, I'll Join Your Cult
- A Memoir of Mental Illness and the Quest to Belong Anywhere
- By: Maria Bamford
- Narrated by: Maria Bamford
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Maria Bamford is a comedian’s comedian (an outsider among outsiders) and has forever fought to find a place to belong. From struggling with an eating disorder as a child of the 1980s, to navigating a career in the arts (and medical debt and psychiatric institutionalization), she has tried just about every method possible to not only be a part of the world, but to want to be a part of it. In Bamford’s “trademark blend of disarming intimacy and dark whimsy” (Publishers Weekly), Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult brings us on a quest to participate in something.
-
-
Hilarious and sincere
- By B. Bazzell on 09-06-23
By: Maria Bamford
-
The Mountain Is You
- Transforming Self-Sabotage into Self-Mastery
- By: Brianna Wiest
- Narrated by: Stacey Glemboski
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Coexisting but conflicting needs create self-sabotaging behaviors. This is why we resist efforts to change, often until they feel completely futile. But by extracting crucial insight from our most damaging habits, building emotional intelligence by better understanding our brains and bodies, releasing past experiences at a cellular level, and learning to act as our highest potential future selves, we can step out of our own way and into our potential.
-
-
Underwelming
- By Erin on 04-20-22
By: Brianna Wiest
-
An Unquiet Mind
- A Memoir of Moods and Madness
- By: Kay Redfield Jamison
- Narrated by: Kay Redfield Jamison
- Length: 2 hrs and 46 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dr. Jamison is one of the foremost authorities on manic-depressive (bipolar) illness; she has also experienced it firsthand. For even while she was pursuing her career in academic medicine, Jamison found herself succumbing to the same exhilarating highs and catastrophic depressions that afflicted many of her patients, as her disorder launched her into ruinous spending sprees, episodes of violence, and an attempted suicide.
-
-
It Says Unabridged. That is incorrect.
- By Casey Wagner on 10-17-11
-
What My Mother and I Don't Talk About
- Fifteen Writers Break the Silence
- By: Michele Filgate
- Narrated by: Michele Filgate, Fajer Al-Kaisi, Roger Casey, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As an undergraduate, Michele Filgate started writing an essay about being abused by her stepfather. It took her more than a decade to realize that she was actually trying to write about how this affected her relationship with her mother. When it was finally published, the essay went viral, shared on social media by Anne Lamott, Rebecca Solnit, and many others. This gave Filgate an idea, and the resulting anthology offers a candid look at our relationships with our mothers.
-
-
Now I’m healing
- By wonderwoman0414 on 08-24-21
By: Michele Filgate
-
Borderlines
- The Essential Guide to Understanding and Living with Complex Borderline Personality Disorder. Know Yourself. Love Yourself, and Let Others Love You
- By: Siena Da Silva
- Narrated by: Alysha Myers
- Length: 4 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This is a straightforward, non-judgemental approach to BPD. Borderlines will provide you with understanding and hope for the future.
-
-
would recommend
- By Angel dust on 05-23-23
By: Siena Da Silva
-
Ten Steps to Nanette
- A Memoir Situation
- By: Hannah Gadsby
- Narrated by: Hannah Gadsby
- Length: 13 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gadsby grew up as the youngest of five children in Tasmania, where homosexuality was illegal until 1997. After moving to mainland Australia and receiving a degree in art history, they found themselves adrift, working itinerant jobs and enduring years of isolation punctuated by homophobic and sexual violence. When Gadsby was twenty-seven, a friend encouraged them to enter a stand-up competition. They won, and so began their career in comedy.
-
-
An emotional connection
- By John on 04-23-22
By: Hannah Gadsby
-
How to Make Friends with the Dark
- By: Kathleen Glasgow
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie, Kathleen Glasgow
- Length: 12 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Here is what happens when your mother dies. It's the brightest day of summer and it's dark outside. It's dark in your house, dark in your room, and dark in your heart. You feel like the darkness is going to split you apart. That's how it feels for Tiger. It's always been Tiger and her mother against the world. Then, on a day like any other, Tiger's mother dies. And now it's Tiger, alone. Here is how you learn to make friends with the dark.
-
-
It hit home (losing a loved one)
- By K.P. on 10-03-21
By: Kathleen Glasgow
-
All the Bright Places
- Movie Tie-In Edition
- By: Jennifer Niven
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne, Ariadne Meyers
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Theodore Finch is fascinated by death, and he constantly thinks of ways he might die. But each time, something good, no matter how small, stops him. Violet Markey lives for the future, counting the days until graduation, when she can escape her Indiana town and her aching grief in the wake of her sister's recent death. When Finch and Violet meet on the ledge of the bell tower at school, it's unclear who saves whom.
-
-
Best YA Quirky Love Story of 2015
- By FanB14 on 06-09-15
By: Jennifer Niven
-
You'd Be Home Now
- By: Kathleen Glasgow
- Narrated by: Julia Knippen, Kathleen Glasgow
- Length: 12 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For all of Emory's life she's been told who she is. In town she's the rich one—the great-great-granddaughter of the mill's founder. At school she's hot Maddie Ward's younger sister. And at home, she's the good one, her stoner older brother Joey's babysitter. Everything was turned on its head, though, when she and Joey were in the car accident that killed Candy MontClaire. The car accident that revealed just how bad Joey's drug habit was.
-
-
Another MUST READ By Kathleen Glasgow
- By Pippy13 on 12-17-21
By: Kathleen Glasgow
-
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder
- How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance
- By: Daniel J. Fox PhD
- Narrated by: Terrence Bayes
- Length: 9 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
If you've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD), or suspect that you might have it, you should know that not everyone experiences the condition in the same way. BPD actually manifests on a spectrum, and while some people may encounter extreme symptoms and consequences on one end, others may be less affected on the other.
-
-
Gave me hope
- By katie on 09-24-24
-
If He Had Been with Me
- By: Laura Nowlin
- Narrated by: Gina Rogers
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Autumn and Finn used to be inseparable. But then something changed. Or they changed. Now, they do their best to ignore each other. Autumn has her boyfriend, Jamie, and her close-knit group of friends. And Finn has become that boy at school, the one everyone wants to be around. That still doesn't stop the way Autumn feels every time she and Finn cross paths, and the growing, nagging thought that maybe things could have been different. Maybe they should be together. But come August, things will change forever.
-
-
Waste of time.
- By Eric Vinton on 10-29-21
By: Laura Nowlin
-
How Not to Kill Yourself
- A Portrait of the Suicidal Mind
- By: Clancy Martin
- Narrated by: Clancy Martin
- Length: 14 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The last time Clancy Martin tried to kill himself was in his basement with a dog leash. It was one of over ten attempts throughout the course of his life. But he didn’t die, and like many who consider taking their own lives, he hid the attempt, slipping back into his daily life with a hoarse voice, a raw neck, and vague explanations. In How Not to Kill Yourself, Martin chronicles his suicide attempts in an intimate depiction of the mindset of someone obsessed with self-destruction. The result is a work that powerfully gives voice to what to many has long been incomprehensible.
-
-
Wrong Audience
- By Tomy Cummins on 04-14-23
By: Clancy Martin
Critic reviews
"This is a remarkable book. The honesty is startling and potent." (Dawn French)
"You have to buy this book. I mean it. It's very funny and sad and utterly true. It's a life-saver." (Miriam Margolyes)
"This book will save lives." (Lorraine Kelly)
What listeners say about Ten Things I Hate About Me
Highly rated for:
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- mariah irwin
- 02-16-23
One less thing I hate about myself
This book made me hate one less thing about myself.
I used to read read read and now all I do is scroll or flip.
This is the first book I have read front to back in YEARS.
This book not only GETS me with out feeling like I need to roll my eyes, this book is changing lives.
I mean I know other people have BPD but hearing somebody be just like me and they are not a huge fuck up even though they feel like they are makes me hate myself just a little less. At least for today.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- KMC
- 04-14-23
You should read it
There are quite a few things from the book that I’ll be carrying with me for a while. He also helped put an explanation to some of the things I was feeling I knew I was feeling that was but it helped me articulate it through his own experiences.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Celeste
- 03-17-23
Worth A Listen
Started this audiobook with no real intention of relating, but knowing there are others out there with similar thoughts really helped me cope with a bad few months. I highly recommend listening to this book, it is a great help.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Alex
- 05-28-23
Excellent reading for anyone experiencing suicidal ideation
Joe is many things. He is an excellent author, actor, and storyteller. But through this book, Joe is also an incredible advocate for those struggling with addiction and/or their mental health. One of the most important thing he does for us through his book, is normalize talking about suicide, a topic so taboo that those struggling with suicidal ideations often don’t seek help because of it.
I feel like I got to know Joe via this book. He tells us things he’s never told anyone, and that’s special. That’s not something everyone is brave enough to do. He also tells us about his journey to find what works for him, and his perseverance (and slip ups) as he found out what didn’t work for him too.
Joe doesn’t tell you how to fix your problems in his book, but he does tell you something arguably even more important: that all is not lost even when your problems seem insurmountable.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Lorna E. Dryden
- 11-30-22
Absolutely brilliant
This was life saving !!!you are very intelligent and thought provoking!!!Thank you Joe, you saved my life too :)
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Heather
- 02-25-24
Helped open my eyes.
This helped me see me and know it's not just me that has these feelings and thoughts. I broke down when he explained "mick" because that's exactly how I feel and it made me feel better knowing I'm not the only one.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Steve Craig
- 09-17-22
Please read
Everyone needs to read/listen to the book. Full stop. Especially if you are, or love someone who is, not ok.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Staci Henderson
- 01-05-24
I couldn’t stop laughing
Obviously the fact that i was able to laugh out loud while taking my morning walks… is a telltale sign that i have a raging case of BPD. I was not diagnosed until i was 45. Prior to my diagnosis, I waffled between thinking I was the most fabulously free spirited woman on the planet or world’s biggest fraud and everyone either hated me…. Or would hate me if they knew how deranged I really was. I still struggle. I will always struggle but I’m more committed to living. I have never related to a book so much. Joe was great to listen to.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Dana
- 10-10-22
Best (and only audio) book I've ever purchased.
Whether you can completely relate, relate to just some bits or even not at all, it's his truth, in fact it's so many of our truths. Talking about the bad things you've done, mental illnesses you may have and your lowest points is possibly the most difficult thing for anyone to do. Some never admit nor speak of these things but ever since I came across Joe and especially after the book, whatever shame,guilt or even embarrassment I felt has slowly drifted away, leaving me to speak and live my truth, no matter how sometimes sad, bad or good. I feel like the weight I carry can occasionally be lifted just by talking about certain things I was to afraid to prior. It's funny,emotional,heartfelt and most of all truthful to its very core. Anyone and everyone should give it a read or listen perhaps for it's one of the best books out there. Thank you Mr. Tracini.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- R
- 07-28-24
A true account from the BPD brain.
Love this book. First book that has really explained my own brain. A true account of living with BPD.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!