
Paddle Your Own Canoe
One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
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Narrated by:
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Nick Offerman
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By:
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Nick Offerman
About this listen
Parks and Recreation actor Nick Offerman shares his humorous fulminations on life, manliness, meat, and much more in his first book.
Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois - "I grew up literally in the middle of a cornfield" - to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally. It also offers hard-bitten battle strategies in the arenas of manliness, love, style, religion, woodworking, and outdoor recreation, among many other savory entrees.
A mix of amusing anecdotes, opinionated lessons and rants, sprinkled with offbeat gaiety, Paddle Your Own Canoe will not only tickle readers pink but may also rouse them to put down their smart phones, study a few sycamore leaves, and maybe even handcraft (and paddle) their own canoes.
©2013 Nick Offerman (P)2013 PenguinListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“[Offerman] not only explores his Paul Bunyan-like image with tongue-in-cheek lessons on manliness, complete with illustrations and advice, but also offers poignant memories of his childhood growing up in Illinois and hilarious anecdotes from his career.” (Entertainment Weekly)
“Offerman touches on everything from his days as a break-dancing, football-playing farm boy in Minooka (about 50 miles southwest of the Loop) to his freewheeling, hedonistic 20s in Chicago to the inevitable Hollywood struggles that followed. But he doesn’t gloss over embarrassing moments, including his two trips to jail during college at the University of Illinois - one for shoplifting Ronnie Milsap cassettes from Kmart as a joke; the other, he says, a convoluted case of mistaken identity. Between anecdotes, he delivers impassioned pleas and rants…” (Chicago magazine)
“Thought-provoking, profane, and frequently hilarious…getting to know Offerman through his stumbling courtship with Megan Mullally and Kabuki theater training is well worth the price of admission.” (Publishers Weekly)
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Story
At last, the full story behind Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman's epic romance, including stories, portraits, and the occasional puzzle. How did they do it? They came from completely different families, endured a significant age difference, and were separated by the gulf of several social strata. Megan loved books and art history; Nick loved hammers. But much more than these seemingly unsurpassable obstacles were the values they held in common: respect, decency, the ability to mention genitalia in almost any context, and an abiding obsession with the songs of Tom Waits.
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Not sure if I like or not.
- By KJ1022 on 10-03-18
By: Megan Mullally, and others
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All Rise
- Audio Perambulation
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 1 hr and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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In Nick Offerman's view, we as a country can be doing a better job when it comes to decency. While most of the country has spent the last few years fighting about everything from politics to the existence of science, there are some things we can all agree about, like that we only really need one flavor of Oreo cookies. And that despite all the challenges we're currently facing, America can get it together if we can, simply, rise above it all, and admit that a lot what we're fighting about is actually pretty stupid, especially when told in Nick's signature comedic voice.
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Thank you The Daily Show!
- By Corbet on 10-16-20
By: Nick Offerman
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Yes Please
- By: Amy Poehler
- Narrated by: Amy Poehler, Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Amy Poehler is hosting a dinner party and you're invited! Welcome to the audiobook edition of Amy Poehler's Yes Please. The guest list is star-studded with vocal appearances from Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, Michael Schur, Patrick Stewart, Kathleen Turner, and even Amy’s parents - Yes Please is the ultimate audiobook extravaganza.
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Listen to this book for sure
- By S.F. on 10-31-14
By: Amy Poehler
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Welcome to Pawnee
- Stories of Friendship, Waffles, and Parks and Recreation
- By: Jim O'Heir
- Narrated by: Jim O'Heir, George Newbern, Eva Kaminsky, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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For seven seasons, Leslie Knope and the Parks and Recreation gang charmed millions of viewers with their quirky antics and unwavering positivity. The sitcom continues to be a fan-favorite for streaming services today, nearly a decade after its finale. Now for the first time, Jim O’Heir, who played the lovable Jerry (or, well, Garry/Larry/Terry/Barry, depending on the episode), invites listeners back to Pawnee for an exclusive look behind the scenes.
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Loved it! You did great Jim!
- By Christina on 11-22-24
By: Jim O'Heir
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Bedtime Stories for Cynics
- By: Dave Hill, Jessica Conrad, Sean Keane, and others
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman, Phoebe Robinson, David Spade, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 42 mins
- Original Recording
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Are the kids asleep? Yes? Good. This one isn’t for them. Now, if your weary, grown-up mind has been searching for a snarkier alternative to your favorite childhood tales, this Audible Original, hosted by Nick Offerman (Parks & Recreation), will scratch that itch - and then some. Enjoy a hilarious collection of short stories, featuring performances from the likes of Tommy Chong (Cheech & Chong), Tony Hale (Veep), Patton Oswalt (The Goldbergs), and David Spade (Saturday Night Live).
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It's Just...Alright.
- By Chelsea on 06-10-19
By: Dave Hill, and others
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A Craftsman’s Legacy
- Why Working with Our Hands Gives Us Meaning
- By: Eric Gorges, Jon Sternfeld - contributor
- Narrated by: Eric Gorges
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Today, even as so many of us spend hours in front of screens and in the virtual world, there is a growing movement that recognizes the power in the personal, the imperfect, the handmade. Eric Gorges, a metal shaper, taps into that hunger to get back to what's "real" through visits with the fellow artisans he has profiled for his popular public television program. In this book, he tells their stories and shares the collective wisdom of calligraphers, potters, stone carvers, glassblowers, engravers, wood workers, and more while celebrating the culture they've created.
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Groundbreaking! Surprising and totally Enjoyable!
- By Sue Z on 08-02-19
By: Eric Gorges, and others
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The Man Who Made Things out of Trees
- By: Robert Penn
- Narrated by: Robert Penn
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Out of all the trees in the world, the ash is the most closely bound up with who we are. From tool handles to arrows, wheels and bowls to furniture and baseball bats, humans have made more and varied use of ash than any other kind of wood. Journeying across the English-speaking world, Robert Penn meets craftsmen with rare skills and a knowledge of the properties of ash developed over millennia.
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Amazing tale and daunting warning
- By Amazon Customer on 06-11-19
By: Robert Penn
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Every Tool's a Hammer
- Lessons from a Lifetime of Making
- By: Adam Savage
- Narrated by: Adam Savage
- Length: 7 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Adam Savage is a maker. From Chewbacca’s bandolier to a 1,000-shot Nerf gun, he has built thousands of spectacular projects as a special-effects artist and the cohost of MythBusters. Adam is also an educator, passionate about instilling the principles of making in the next generation of inventors and inspiring them to turn their curiosity into creation. In this practical and passionate guide, Adam weaves together vivid personal stories, original sketches and photographs from some of his most memorable projects, and interviews with many of his iconic and visionary friends.
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I love Adam Savage and I returned this book
- By Shane Brown on 06-18-19
By: Adam Savage
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Based on a True Story
- A Memoir
- By: Norm Macdonald
- Narrated by: Norm Macdonald, Tim O'Halloran
- Length: 7 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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When Norm Macdonald, one of the greatest stand-up comics of all time, was approached to write a celebrity memoir, he flatly refused, calling the genre “one step below instruction manuals.” Norm then promptly took a two-year hiatus from stand-up comedy to live on a farm in northern Canada. When he emerged he had under his arm a manuscript, a genre-smashing book about comedy, tragedy, love, loss, war, and redemption. When asked if this was the celebrity memoir, Norm replied, “Call it anything you damn like.”
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Bizarre, funny ride
- By Michael Chauvin on 09-25-16
By: Norm Macdonald
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Bossypants
- By: Tina Fey
- Narrated by: Tina Fey
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
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Tina Fey broke my new SUV
- By Warren on 04-07-11
By: Tina Fey
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The Bassoon King
- My Life in Art, Faith, and Idiocy
- By: Rainn Wilson
- Narrated by: Rainn Wilson
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Rainn Wilson’s memoir about growing up geeky and finally finding his place in comedy, faith, and life. For nine seasons Rainn Wilson played Dwight Schrute, everyone's favorite work nemesis and beet farmer. Viewers of The Office fell in love with the character and grew to love the actor who played him even more. Rainn founded a website and media company, SoulPancake, that eventually became a best-selling book of the same name. He also started a hilarious Twitter feed (sample tweet: “I'm not on Facebook” is the new “I don't even own a TV”).
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Exquisite narration!
- By Johanna on 11-13-15
By: Rainn Wilson
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Sh-t My Dad Says
- By: Justin Halpern
- Narrated by: Sean Schemmel
- Length: 3 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him.
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Really Funny! Should Be Up for an Audie Award
- By Michael on 05-08-10
By: Justin Halpern
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How to Land an A330 Airbus
- And Other Vital Skills for the Modern Man
- By: James May
- Narrated by: James May
- Length: 2 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Being given yet another pointless 'man manual' that told him 50 ways to tie a bow tie in under 30 seconds made James May certain there was a need for another kind of book. This book, in fact. He reckons there are nine vital things that a chap should be able to do.
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Mostly delightful . . .
- By Katherine on 04-09-12
By: James May
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Why Not Me?
- By: Mindy Kaling
- Narrated by: Mindy Kaling, Greg Daniels, B. J. Novak
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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In Why Not Me?, Kaling shares insightful, deeply personal stories about falling in love at work, seeking new friendships in lonely places, attempting to be the first person in history to lose weight without any behavior modification whatsoever, and believing that you have a place in Hollywood when you’re constantly reminded that no one looks like you.
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sad to even be writing this review :(
- By Brandin on 10-02-15
By: Mindy Kaling
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Comedy Comedy Comedy Drama
- A Memoir
- By: Bob Odenkirk
- Narrated by: Bob Odenkirk, Steve Rudnick, Leo Benvenuti
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Bob Odenkirk’s career is inexplicable. And yet he will try like hell to explicate it for you. Charting a “Homeric” decades-long “odyssey” from his origins in the seedy comedy clubs of Chicago to a dramatic career full of award nominations - with a side trip into the action-man world that is baffling to all who know him - it’s almost like there are many Bob Odenkirks! But there is just one and one is plenty. Featuring humorous tangents, wild characters, and Bob’s trademark unflinching drive, Comedy Comedy Comedy Drama is a classic tale told by a determined idiot.
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Not great
- By D. Moore on 04-12-22
By: Bob Odenkirk
What listeners say about Paddle Your Own Canoe
Highly rated for:
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kyle
- 01-03-14
Like bacon for your ears
Would you consider the audio edition of Paddle Your Own Canoe to be better than the print version?
Yes, I read through half of the printed edition until I found out the author read the audio version. Without hesitation I downloaded this book and let ten hours fly by as I listened to this gentle, bear-like man recite prose that made my chest hair grow
What does Nick Offerman bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
Is this a question? Have you heard him talk? His man giggle? Phenomenal stuff, really.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
I laughed much, but more importantly I could feel my twenty-something-year-old inner yuppie child quiver before a new mountain man like giant of self reliance and well roundedness
Any additional comments?
You'll love it more than Ron Swanson. I read this book going in with the idea that it'd be more of a book on life from the humorous outlook of Ron Swanson ( A character played by Offerman on Parks and Rec.) Instead, I was delightfully surprised to hear Nick's recounts of growing up with larger than life parental figures, his often humor infused humility, and his down to earth life lessons. I Will listen to it again.
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86 people found this helpful
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- Brandi Albon
- 09-22-15
Slow read, but worth it. Great story.
Nick's story gives regular chump's like me hope. Although we equally have sassy love buddies, I'll still paddle my own canoe.
#RainbowSong
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4 people found this helpful
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- Zack
- 10-26-18
Great Book. Love the Authors work.
This is a great book and even better when read by the Author. Would recommend.
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- Peter
- 10-30-13
A Truly Great American Read
Would you listen to Paddle Your Own Canoe again? Why?
I would definitely listen to Paddle Your Own Canoe again. I originally thought of buying this book in hardback, yet made the choice to hear it read aloud by Nick himself on an audiobook. Instantly I realized I made an amazing choice. Listening to Nick narrate his life in his own words was as entertaining and majestic as passing a bottle of whiskey around the campfire with friends, then in a drunken stupor, shooting off bottle rockets and running around naked. The experience would be nothing of the sort if I was reading it by myself, and hearing him actually sing the Rainbow Song, the one he wrote his wife Megan Mullally's birthday, made it all the better. As a fan of Parks and Rec and an avid follower of Offerman Woodworking, this book brought greater depth to a person who is often confined to the character Ron Swanson he plays on TV. And while his tone and affect still enlivened images in my head of the mustachio'd, deadpan Libertarian, I walked away with a greater respect and admiration of a hard-working American actor and icon. He's articulate, funny, thoughtful and entertaining.
What other book might you compare Paddle Your Own Canoe to and why?
The Heming Way by Beckerman, A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. Anything satirical yet honest when it needs to be.
Which character – as performed by Nick Offerman – was your favorite?
Himself. I feel like Offerman has as great sense of self-awareness as he does humor, and often it's masked by the character of Ron Swanson. To hear his vulnerable side, his hardships, successes, blatant sex drive and of course how much he loves his wife is inspirational.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
Laugh, for sure. His little ad libs as he reads along really personifies the book.
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- Celeste
- 08-21-15
Worth every penny.
This audio book was amazing. I loved every second of it. If you are a fan of Offerman's you can't go wrong with this book.
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- Austin D. Adams
- 07-08-15
Nick Effing Offerman... Nuff said
Mr. Offerman narrating this this audiobook made this one of my favorite listens. It once again capitalizes on his dedication to his art of sharing oddly heinous pearls of wisdom, wrapped with the dry humor only he can achieve. If you don't find yourself tempted to read this, check between your legs gentlemen.
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- C. Howell
- 10-28-17
Great performance
Great performance and story, I just felt it droned on a couple of times (especially about how much he hates religion), but ultimately entertaining and an enjoyable listen.
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- Shannon F N
- 05-06-17
Nick Offerman is a smarty pants
If you haven't read anything by Mr Offerman you are really missing out. thank you
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- Ken Sandlin
- 08-10-15
Thank you Mr. offerman
What can I say...this is Nick frickin' Offerman! I would read anything written by this man and the extra treat of hearing him read it. Great book for Offerman and non-Offerman fans. He can craft a well-written phrase as well as some of the greatest humorists of all time. Read it!
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- Martin
- 06-23-15
Epic
Wonderful - just fantastic.
It's really great to hear a text like this read by the author with the phrasing, and timing they imagined when they wrote the book.
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