
Ace
What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
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Narrated by:
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Natalie Naudus
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By:
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Angela Chen
About this listen
An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that's obsessed with sexual attraction, and what the ace perspective can teach all of us about desire and identity.
What exactly is sexual attraction, and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face - confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships - are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience. Through a blend of reporting, cultural criticism, and memoir, Ace addresses the misconceptions around the "A" of LGBTQIA and invites everyone to rethink pleasure and intimacy.
Journalist Angela Chen creates her path to understanding her own asexuality with the perspectives of a diverse group of asexual people. Vulnerable and honest, these stories include a woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that "not wanting sex" was a sign of serious illness, and a man who grew up in a religious household and did everything "right", only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Disabled aces, aces of color, gender-nonconforming aces, and aces who both do and don't want romantic relationships all share their experiences navigating a society in which a lack of sexual attraction is considered abnormal. Chen's careful cultural analysis explores how societal norms limit understanding of sex and relationships and celebrates the breadth of sexuality and queerness.
©2020 Angela Chen (P)2020 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“[Ace] is a [thoughtful] combination of reportage, cultural criticism and memoir, and the writing attempts the difficult balance between proof and emotion. [Most striking is] Chen’s honesty, the sentences of intimate reflection that appear in the margins of her argument throughout.” —The New York Times
“Ace is a fantastic starting point for dismantling harmful sexual narratives and reimagining human connection as a broader, more equitable, enjoyable and free experience.” —Washington Post
“The book allows us to imagine how much more we could get from our relationships if we were able to free ourselves from restrictive ideas of what we’re supposed to feel and do.” —Rhaina Cohen, NPR
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Story
'I need a wife'. It's a common joke among women juggling work and family, but it's no joke. Having a spouse who takes care of things at home is a godsend on the domestic front and an asset on the work front and is an advantage enjoyed by vastly more men than women. Full of candid and funny stories from politics and the media, The Wife Drought shares intriguing research about the attitudes pulsing beneath the surface of egalitarian Australia.
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A read for everyone
- By RubyH on 02-01-24
By: Annabel Crabb
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Becoming Abolitionists
- Police, Protests, and the Pursuit of Freedom
- By: Derecka Purnell
- Narrated by: Karen Chilton
- Length: 14 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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For more than a century, activists in the United States have tried to reform the police. From community policing initiatives to increasing diversity, none of it has stopped the police from killing about three people a day. Millions of people continue to protest police violence because these “solutions” do not match the problem: The police cannot be reformed. In Becoming Abolitionists, Purnell draws from her experiences as a lawyer, writer, and organizer initially skeptical about police abolition.
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highly recommended
- By C.O. on 12-17-21
By: Derecka Purnell
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Unfiltered
- Proven Strategies to Start and Grow Your Business by Not Following the Rules
- By: Rachel Pedersen
- Narrated by: Rachel Pedersen
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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In 213, Rachel Pedersen was a single mom, freshly off of food stamps and struggling to get her life on track. Three years later, she left her 9-to-5 job and launched a consulting business with her husband. Today, she is the founder and CEO of two multimillion-dollar companies and an expert in every aspect of social media, helping businesses 1X (or 1X!) with massive, needle-moving growth.
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A Book for Every Entrepreneur!
- By K.W. on 09-23-22
By: Rachel Pedersen
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Who's Afraid of Gender?
- By: Judith Butler
- Narrated by: Judith Butler
- Length: 11 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Judith Butler, the groundbreaking thinker whose iconic book Gender Trouble redefined how we think about gender and sexuality, confronts the attacks on “gender” that have become central to right-wing movements today. Global networks have formed “anti-gender ideology movements” that are dedicated to circulating a fantasy that gender is a dangerous, perhaps diabolical, threat to families, local cultures, civilization—and even “man” himself. In this book, Butler illuminates the concrete ways that this phantasm of “gender” collects and displaces anxieties and fears of destruction.
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Butler’s reading of Butler was stunning
- By Joseph Schneider on 07-19-24
By: Judith Butler
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Neuroqueer Heresies
- Notes on the Neurodiversity Paradigm, Autistic Empowerment, and Postnormal Possibilities
- By: Nick Walker
- Narrated by: Janet Metzger
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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The work of queer autistic scholar Nick Walker has played a key role in the evolving discourse on human neurodiversity. Neuroqueer Heresies collects a decade's worth of Dr. Walker's most influential writings, along with new commentary by the author and new material on her radical conceptualization of Neuroqueer Theory. This book is essential for anyone seeking to understand the foundations, terminology, implications, and leading edges of the emerging neurodiversity paradigm.
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Mind Opening
- By Jennifer on 02-27-23
By: Nick Walker
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"Prisons Make Us Safer"
- And 20 Other Myths About Mass Incarceration
- By: Victoria Law
- Narrated by: Melissa Moran
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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The United States incarcerates more of its residents than any other nation. Though home to five percent of the global population, the United States has nearly 25 percent of the world’s prisoners - a total of over two million people. This number continues to steadily rise. Over the past 40 years, the number of people behind bars in the United States has increased by 500 percent.
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Leftist propaganda
- By Claude Bacchia on 04-21-21
By: Victoria Law
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Childhood Disrupted
- How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal
- By: Donna Jackson Nakazawa
- Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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The emotional trauma we suffer as children not only shapes our emotional lives as adults but also affects our physical health and overall well-being. Scientists now know on a biochemical level exactly how parents' chronic fights, divorce, death in the family, being bullied or hazed, and growing up with a hypercritical, alcoholic, or mentally ill parent can leave permanent, physical "fingerprints" on our brains.
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some disturbing content, overall very imformative
- By Tryintolivenatural on 11-12-15
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The Financial Diet
- A Total Beginner's Guide to Getting Good with Money
- By: Chelsea Fagan, Lauren Ver Hage - designer
- Narrated by: Chelsea Fagan
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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The Financial Diet is the personal finance book for people who don't care about personal finance. Whether you're in need of an overspending detox, buried under student debt, or just trying to figure out how to live on an entry-level salary, The Financial Diet gives you tools to make a budget, understand investments, and deal with your credit.
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Genuinely interesting!
- By Wayne on 07-14-18
By: Chelsea Fagan, and others
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No Matter What!
- 9 Steps to Living the Life You Love
- By: Lisa Nichols
- Narrated by: Lisa Nichols
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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In this powerful audiobook, Lisa breaks down her plan for listeners. She shares her own remarkable story and prescribes a program of specific exercises and action steps for readers to learn from their past and move toward a courageous future.
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Deeply gifted speaker and motivator
- By Sara Hohn on 06-18-09
By: Lisa Nichols
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The Middle Finger Project
- Trash Your Imposter Syndrome and Live the Unf*ckwithable Life You Deserve
- By: Ash Ambirge
- Narrated by: Ash Ambirge
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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After a string of dead-end jobs and a death in the family, Ash Ambirge was down to her last $26 and sleeping in a Kmart parking lot when she faced the truth: No one was coming to her rescue. It was up to her to appoint herself. That night led to what eventually became a six-figure freelance career as a sought-after marketing and copywriting consultant, all while sipping coffee from her front porch in Costa Rica.
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Has nothing to do with imposter syndrome
- By Sebastiaan on 07-07-21
By: Ash Ambirge
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Inventing Joy
- Dare to Build a Brave & Creative Life
- By: Joy Mangano
- Narrated by: Joy Mangano
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Joy's rise from single mother of three to the nation's most celebrated female inventor is truly what dreams are made of. Full of twists and turns, work and love, obstacles encountered and overcome, Inventing Joy is a binge-worthy book in every aspect. Dive in and be swept along for the ride as she relives her incredible and inspiring journey to joy. But there's more: Throughout her story, Joy points out her very own personal lightbulb moments - lessons she learned the hard way and principles she still relies on today.
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So encouraging and inspirational
- By bogc on 05-08-22
By: Joy Mangano
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Mediocre
- The Dangerous Legacy of White Male America
- By: Ijeoma Oluo
- Narrated by: Ijeoma Oluo
- Length: 10 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Through the last 150 years of American history—from the post-reconstruction South and the mythic stories of cowboys in the West, to the present-day controversy over NFL protests and the backlash against the rise of women in politics—Ijeoma Oluo exposes the devastating consequences of white male supremacy on women, people of color, and white men themselves. Mediocre investigates the real costs of this phenomenon in order to imagine a new white male identity, one free from racism and sexism.
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This was so enlightening.
- By Firewhiskey Reader on 01-07-21
By: Ijeoma Oluo
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Women and Girls on the Autism Spectrum (Second Edition)
- Understanding Life Experiences from Early Childhood to Old Age
- By: Sarah Hendrickx, Judith Gould - foreword, Jess Hendrickx
- Narrated by: Lucie McNeil
- Length: 12 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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The difference that being female makes to the diagnosis, life and experiences of an autistic person is hugely significant. In this second edition, Sarah Hendrickx combines the latest research with personal stories from girls and women on the autism spectrum to present a picture of their feelings, thoughts and experiences at each stage of their lives. Outlining the likely impact will be for autistic women and girls throughout their lifespan, Hendrickx surveys everything from diagnosis, childhood, education, adolescence, friendships and sexuality, to employment, pregnancy, parenting, and aging.
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the ah ha moment !
- By Erin on 02-14-25
By: Sarah Hendrickx, and others
What listeners say about Ace
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- Jonathan Nasman
- 07-10-23
Mind and life altering
This book not only opened up my eyes and helped me understand my ace partner better, but it made me completely rethink my taken for granted views on sex as a whole. This book is very well written, incredibly thoughtful and will challenge everything you know about sex.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 03-12-21
I felt so seen
This book haunts me, in the best possible way. I have never had the challenges and intimacies of my life so laid out for me before.
I will need every single person who would love me read it.
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- Kindle Customer
- 08-17-21
one of the most eye opening books ive ever read
i expected this book to be either too basic or too complex, but i found myself absolutely loving how angela chen describes with clarity foreign concepts that ive never been introduced to in my life. this book is truly a manifesto of asexuality and one of the most eye opening books ive ever read. the pace is perfect for an audiobook and the experience of reading it surprisingly enjoyable for non fiction. my favorite topics discussed were consent, amatonormativity, and the percieved but not truly different nature of romance vs platonic closeness. because of this book, my views on friendship and romance are forever changed, and im glad they are. 10/10 experience, would absolutely recommend.
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- Sadie Röckins
- 04-22-24
Helpful
A little dry as I would expect an informative book of this type to be, but helpful in increasing my understanding, and at times very thought-provoking.
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- Chris
- 12-15-20
Improving Understanding
I’m generally unsympathetic to discussions of LGBT+ issues, but ACE got a good review from the New York Times so I bought it and listened to it. It’s like a challenge to consider other points of view, and the author presents a challenge to conventional thinking and is successful, I think. I resist giving 5-star ratings, but ACE deserves it.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kailey
- 03-14-22
I never knew how bad I needed this
This book was so validating to so much of me. I wish I had had this available when I was younger. Maybe it would have helped me find myself soon and helped me be more confident in who I am, and the beauty and complexity that come with it. It is a beautifully written and expertly combines research, narrative, emotion and structure. The narrator also did a fantastic job. Absolutely perfect!
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- DEBORAH HAMILTON
- 12-23-23
I’m ace and I loved this
Im aro ace but just came out recently and don’t know much about the community. I really recommend this book if you want to know more about ace culture and the problems people face
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- Jenna Bounds
- 07-26-24
A great overview
I'm new to the possibility of being on the ace spectrum and so much of this was clarifying and it really encourages me to dive deeper into my own desires and values. Very thorough and compassionate.
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- Chelsea N Jordan
- 01-05-21
This book made my whole life make sense!
THANK YOU Angela Chen for putting into words what I never could until now! Your work on this subject has made my personal life (or lack thereof, depending on how you look at it *wink wink*) feel like a treasure trove of possibilities. When my childhood friends pretended to get married and play house, I wanted to play dinosaur instead. I didn’t understand the appeal. When they started putting up Leonardo DiCaprio posters, rather than pretend to take care of imaginary horses with me, I felt like an alien. All the frustrating intimate encounters I have had that felt not entirely consensual, but not entirely coerced either, all make sense now. Everything. Thank you a million times over for opening this door for me. I truly hope your book will empower more and more people, ace and not, to explore this subject in depth. We need it.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Lunecia Etienne
- 11-06-20
Never Have I Ever Felt So Seen
This was a beautiful inside look into the community. It's much more complex living outside of the box, when most of the world live in it.
I felt seen by this and I'm glad I was able to read it during ACE Week this year.
10/10 will recommend.
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1 person found this helpful