HEY! DOES ANY OF THIS APPLY TO YOU?

• Is your fiancé a workaholic asshole?
• Does he know all your secrets, including that you're afraid of the dark?
• Do you actually want to fuck the construction worker/shoe salesman you met while wearing an eyepatch?
• Do you want to kill yourself?
• Will your fiancé and boytoy proceed to have a long, intense shirtless indoor basketball match where they fight-out their feelings for each other and you?

IF ANY OF THIS APPLIES TO YOU - WRITE IN TO TELEVISED: THE TV MOVIE STORY AND WE'LL TURN YOUR STORY INTO AN EPISODE OF A 5 SEASON ANTHOLOGY SERIES THAT FOR SOME REASON EXISTS

OR YOU CAN JUST LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE OF OUR PODCAST ABOUT RED SHOE DIARIES STARRING DAVID DUCHOVNY (y'know - from The X-Files!) (more like The SEX Files lol)

Beverly and Laurence are hosting a little get together in order to get acquainted with their new neighbors, Angela and Tony, also inviting over the long-divorced Sue, to give her a place to be while her daughter Abigail hosts a party at her place.

That is the premise. And what follows is some of the most painfully awkward and banal conversation ever spoken on a television screen. For 100 minutes, you are trapped with these characters as they slowly morph in perception from being just painfully dull to quietly (or, for some, loudly) evil, but still evil in the most mundane, human sense of it.

And it's great. An early masterwork from Mike Leigh.

Which Cheetah Girl are you?

Q1: What is your name reminiscent of?

A. A shopping center

B. A perfume brand or fashion icon

C. Water

D. Other

Q2: If you were in a band, what would your role be?

A. Leader

B. Speaking Spanish

C. Costume Designer

D. Choreographer

Q3: If the band were to break apart, how would YOU be at fault?

A. Being bossy

B. Cheating on your group with a side-singer

C. ????

D. Fucking a twink

Q4: If you were in a movie, who would play you?

A. Raven SymonéB. Adrienne BailonC. Kiely WilliamsD. Sabrina Bryan

If you answered mostly A - You're Galleria! You're the famous one! If you answered mostly B - You're Chanel! The Latina one. If you answered mostly C - You're Aqua! The quirky one! If you answered mostly D - You're Dorinda! The adopted one! If you had a tie, you're not a Cheetah girl! You're scum!