• EP 50: Interview with a former unfaithful: "I Was Afraid to Let Go of the Lies..."
    Jul 8 2025

    Today’s episode is a story that begins where most love stories unravel: with a lie.

    Actually… with many lies.

    Our guest today is a great friend of mine and was also unfaithful to his wife. But the cheating, while devastating, was only part of the story. What nearly destroyed everything wasn't just the act—it was the lies that followed. The deception. The pretending. The carefully managed version of the truth, told piece by piece, always leaving something out and or 'trickle truthing'. And every time he lied—whether to cover his tracks, avoid a hard conversation, or protect himself from shame—he pulled their marriage further into the abyss.

    Lying became a pattern. A habit. A way of surviving.

    He was in survival mode....while his wife was also in survival mode, not knowing what was truth and what was a lie.

    But what happens when the lies stop working?

    At some point, they did. And he found himself at a crossroads: keep living in the lie and slowly lose everything that mattered—or come clean. Not just about the affair, but about the man he had become. The fears he hid. The ways he had failed. The ways he had justified it all.

    And so, finally, he told the truth.

    It was ugly. It was painful. It didn’t make anything easier in the short term. In fact, telling the full truth almost shattered what little was left of their trust. But it was real. And for the first time in a long time, so was he.

    This episode isn’t about excusing infidelity. It’s about owning it. It’s about the brutal but beautiful process of rebuilding not just a marriage—but a life—from the inside out.

    It's about an unfaithful that actually DID CHOOSE TO DO THE WORK and is continuing to do it.

    Today, years later, this man is still married to the woman he betrayed. Not because it was easy. Not because she forgot. But because they both chose to walk through fire—together. He made the courageous decision to stay, to change, to show up with radical honesty every single day since. And now? Their marriage is real. It’s honest. And it’s alive in a way it never was before.

    So if you’ve ever struggled with truth, if you’ve ever hidden behind lies you thought would protect you—this episode is for you. If you’ve ever wondered whether a relationship can survive betrayal, if trust can ever truly be rebuilt—this story is proof that while the damage may run deep, healing is possible.

    This is about choosing truth, even when it costs everything. This is about doing the work, staying when it’s hard, and learning how to love honestly—even after breaking someone’s heart and becoming something and someone you're embarrassed by.

    People heal.
    Couples heal.
    Unfaithful spouses do the work.

    To Healing,

    Sam

    ------

    Sam’s Healing Podcast is brought to you by one of infidelity recovery’s most prominent and gifted influencers and YouTuber. For 15 years, Samuel has been online as one of the the leading spokespersons for healing and recovery of both betrayed and unfaithful spouses. After more than a decade of blogging and filming under one of the betrayal trauma’s founding fathers, famed clinician Rick Reynolds of affairrecovery.com, Sam has ventured out to pursue, create and live out his lifelong vision and passion for healing those touched by the trauma of infidelity. Through his new podcast and YouTube channel Samuel will continue to bring his own personal experiences with infidelity recovery along with delivering the most current and up-to-date clinical wisdom and healing modalities for recovery after an affair. Sam will also be expanding into the other critical areas of developing healthy relationships such as emotional and sexual connection, the impact of childhood sexual abuse and dysfunctional patterns of relating on marital intimacy, problematic communication patterns, complex, attachment and intergenerational trauma, compulsive sexual behavior, boundaries and the importance of inner-child healing work. Reach out to contact Samuel for personal coaching sessions at samshealingpodcast@gmail.com.

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    30 mins
  • EP 48: "I've Got You Now..." A Psychological Game Couples Play When Trying to Heal from Infidelity
    Jun 24 2025

    Continuing the series on "Psychological Games Couples Play," Michael Webb and I discuss another game within the realm of Psychological Games.

    This game is not only deep but usually ingrained within the communication style of one or both parties. It's called "I've Got You Now...."

    It's one of the most insidious games couples fall into subconsciously as they seek to heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma. While able to be overcome and eventually diffused, it requires a deeper journey into the mind and trauma, of the unfaithful and betrayed.

    Couples who are dealing with this game often times feel as though they are being set up by their partner. It can feel as though their partner is creating what we call a 'double bind' all in an attempt to prove a point that can scorch the earth of the argument. Couples who struggle with this game are not on thin ice, but they do find themselves looking for any sort of way out of the quick sand and today Michael Webb shares exactly that.

    Ever find yourself in the same frustrating argument with someone, especially your spouse— even though it starts off innocent and you swear this time it’ll go differently? But somehow, it spirals into a familiar mess?

    Psychological games are repetitive patterns of hidden communication people play with each other, often unconsciously. They seem harmless on the surface, but they end with someone feeling hurt, guilty, or angry — just like before.

    These games follow a pattern:

    A hidden motive or unspoken message
    A predictable sequence of interactions
    A negative payoff (emotional discomfort or conflict)

    They’re not about fun — more like emotional traps that we fall into, often learned in childhood, resulting in confusion, hurt feelings and deep seated resentment.

    Transactional Analysis, developed by psychiatrist Eric Berne, is a theory of communication and personality. In TA, our interactions are seen as “transactions” between different parts of ourselves:

    👶 Child (emotions, creativity, needs, or rebellion)

    👨‍👩‍👧 Parent (rules, judgments, values — often inherited from authority figures)

    🧑 Adult (rational, in-the-moment decision-making)

    When people interact, they’re often unconsciously switching between these ego states. Games happen when there’s a mismatch or hidden motive behind a transaction — for example, someone may act like they want help (Adult to Adult), but are actually seeking to feel victimized (Child to Parent).

    Today Michael Webb shares how couples subconsciously participate in these games, especially those dealing with infidelity or addiction and highlights a massively toxic game of "I've Got You Now....."

    ------

    Sam’s Healing Podcast is brought to you by one of infidelity recovery’s most prominent and gifted influencers and YouTuber. For 15 years, Samuel has been online as one of the the leading spokespersons for healing and recovery of both betrayed and unfaithful spouses. After more than a decade of blogging and filming under one of the betrayal trauma’s founding fathers, famed clinician Rick Reynolds of affairrecovery.com, Sam has ventured out to pursue, create and live out his lifelong vision and passion for healing those touched by the trauma of infidelity. Through his new podcast and YouTube channel Samuel will continue to bring his own personal experiences with infidelity recovery along with delivering the most current and up-to-date clinical wisdom and healing modalities for recovery after an affair. Sam will also be expanding into the other critical areas of developing healthy relationships such as emotional and sexual connection, the impact of childhood sexual abuse and dysfunctional patterns of relating on marital intimacy, problematic communication patterns, complex, attachment and intergenerational trauma, compulsive sexual behavior, boundaries and the importance of inner-child healing work. Reach out to contact Samuel for personal coaching sessions at samshealingpodcast@gmail.com.

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    39 mins
  • EP 47: A One on One Discussion with Psychotherapist Lauren LaRusso on Infidelity and Betrayal Trauma
    Jun 18 2025

    Today you'll meet Lauren LaRusso, a well known face on social media and true expert to those looking for hope, healing and new life after the discovery of infidelity.

    Lauren holds a bachelor's degree in Psychology and Creative Writing from The College of the Holy Cross in Worcester, MA, and a Masters in Professional Counseling from The University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, PA.

    In her years of work as a psychotherapist in private practice, Lauren has helped countless individuals and couples process the extramarital affairs that are impacting their life. Infidelity affected her own life along with the lives of countless others she's cared about. It eventually became a clear path for her mission to help others dealing with the aftermath of infidelity and betrayal.

    With her unique lens, she combines valuable lived experience and specialized professional expertise to provide intensive, solution-focused consultation to clients far and wide who are struggling with infidelity. ​She has helped countless individuals transform their life's greatest challenges into opportunities for positive growth and change in her private psychotherapy practice. ​She uses a relational, trauma-informed, and recovery-focused approach to her work with individuals and couples far and wide who are navigating the complex and painful dynamics of marital affairs.

    You can find more about Laura and her practice by visiting her website:
    https://www.laurenlarusso.com

    For more help or information about Sam you can reach out to him personally at samshealingpodcast@gmail.com

    ------

    Sam’s Healing Podcast is brought to you by one of infidelity recovery’s most prominent and gifted influencers and YouTuber. For 15 years, Samuel has been online as one of the the leading spokespersons for healing and recovery of both betrayed and unfaithful spouses. After more than a decade of blogging and filming under one of the betrayal trauma’s founding fathers, famed clinician Rick Reynolds of affairrecovery.com, Sam has ventured out to pursue, create and live out his lifelong vision and passion for healing those touched by the trauma of infidelity. Through his new podcast and YouTube channel Samuel will continue to bring his own personal experiences with infidelity recovery along with delivering the most current and up-to-date clinical wisdom and healing modalities for recovery after an affair. Sam will also be expanding into the other critical areas of developing healthy relationships such as emotional and sexual connection, the impact of childhood sexual abuse and dysfunctional patterns of relating on marital intimacy, problematic communication patterns, complex, attachment and intergenerational trauma, compulsive sexual behavior, boundaries and the importance of inner-child healing work. Reach out to contact Samuel for personal coaching sessions at samshealingpodcast@gmail.com.

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    33 mins
  • EP 46: A Betrayed Male Shares His Story of How He & His Wife Saved Their Marriage After Infidelity
    Jun 12 2025

    Healing from infidelity is no easy task. Whether a betrayed male or female, the pain can feel as though it has no purpose, no redemption and no light at the end of the tunnel.

    Today you'll meet Randall who shares his own story of not only excruciating emotional pain and hurt, but also how he and his wife have found healing, joy and redemption. Randall pulls no punches as he shares insight into what worked for him and what didn't work. What provided clarity and what caused even more hurt pain and confusion.

    Ultimately, Randall knew he had to get healthy for him. What followed was a chain of events which is truly compelling to hear how he and his wife have been able to rise from the ashes and not just exist, but find purpose and beauty despite betrayal.

    Not every journey ends in restoration. Some marriages make it....some don't.
    Some marriages quite honestly, shouldn't be saved and others have every opportunity at new life and new hope if BOTH parties can find and commit to a process that's expert driven.

    We make our choices and then our choices make us.

    I hope as you listen to Randall, you'll make the choice to get healthy for you and do whatever it takes to heal yourself. You can't change your partner, but you can change you and you can build a life you're proud of once again and that you enjoy living.

    To New Hope,

    Samuel

    ------

    Sam’s Healing Podcast is brought to you by one of infidelity recovery’s most prominent and gifted influencers and YouTuber. For 15 years, Samuel has been online as one of the the leading spokespersons for healing and recovery of both betrayed and unfaithful spouses. After more than a decade of blogging and filming under one of the betrayal trauma’s founding fathers, famed clinician Rick Reynolds of affairrecovery.com, Sam has ventured out to pursue, create and live out his lifelong vision and passion for healing those touched by the trauma of infidelity. Through his new podcast and YouTube channel Samuel will continue to bring his own personal experiences with infidelity recovery along with delivering the most current and up-to-date clinical wisdom and healing modalities for recovery after an affair. Sam will also be expanding into the other critical areas of developing healthy relationships such as emotional and sexual connection, the impact of childhood sexual abuse and dysfunctional patterns of relating on marital intimacy, problematic communication patterns, complex, attachment and intergenerational trauma, compulsive sexual behavior, boundaries and the importance of inner-child healing work. Reach out to contact Samuel for personal coaching sessions at samshealingpodcast@gmail.com.

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    28 mins
  • EP 45: "We're Stuck After the Disclosure of Infidelity" When is it Time for an Intensive?
    Jun 8 2025
    Today, relationship and expert therapist James Annear joins me to discuss when it's time to forgo individual or couples work and proceed right ahead to an intensive. If you're on my page, you know the disclosure of infidelity is a devastating moment in any relationship. Whether the betrayal was emotional, physical, or both, it strikes at the core of trust and safety between partners. While many couples turn to individual or weekly couples therapy for support and guidance, there are circumstances where this traditional approach may not be sufficient. In some cases, a relationship intensive—an immersive, multi-day therapeutic experience—may be a more appropriate and effective route for healing. Knowing when to forgo regular therapy in favor of an intensive can make the difference between prolonged suffering and a path toward meaningful repair. The Nature of an Intensive A relationship intensive, often conducted over one to three full days, provides concentrated therapeutic work with a trained specialist like James and his wife Sharon who have both been through infidelity and addiction. Unlike weekly sessions that typically last 50 minutes and stretch over months, intensives offer uninterrupted time to dive deeply into the root issues of the relationship, address trauma, process the affair, and build a new framework for communication and trust. Why Traditional Therapy Sometimes Falls Short While weekly therapy is beneficial in many contexts, it can present several limitations in the wake of infidelity and without expert help, many mistakes are made and many couples are unfortunately mishandled. Escalating Conflict: Weekly sessions often do not provide enough containment for couples in crisis. If emotions are volatile—such as anger, shame, or grief—short, infrequent sessions may be insufficient to de-escalate conflict or facilitate real connection. Therapist Mismatch: Some therapists may not be specifically trained in affair recovery or betrayal trauma. A mismatch in therapeutic focus or skill can lead to further misunderstanding or harm. Readiness and Urgency: Some couples are in a time-sensitive situation—perhaps considering separation or divorce—and need to determine, quickly and with support, whether their relationship has a viable path forward. Weekly sessions may not provide answers fast enough. When to Consider an Intensive There are several signs that an intensive may be a better option than traditional therapy after the disclosure of infidelity: 1. The Crisis Feels Too Big for Weekly Therapy When the emotional impact of the affair is overwhelming, and one or both partners feel like they’re drowning in pain, confusion, or rage, an intensive provides immediate structure and emotional containment. It can offer clarity and de-escalation that weekly sessions often cannot provide in the short term. 2. The Betrayal is Part of a Larger Pattern If the affair is not an isolated incident but part of a long-standing pattern of deceit, boundary violations, or emotional disengagement, a deeper intervention is needed. Intensives allow therapists to explore historical dynamics, family-of-origin wounds, and systemic patterns that contribute to chronic disconnection. 3. The Couple Wants to Rebuild But Doesn’t Know How After infidelity, some couples desperately want to stay together but feel unequipped to rebuild trust or intimacy. An intensive gives them dedicated time to begin this work with the guidance of a specialist, offering a structured approach to re-establish emotional safety, accountability, and a new foundation for the relationship. 5. Stalled or Re-Traumatizing Progress in Traditional Therapy If the couple has already tried regular counseling and feels stuck, misunderstood, or re-traumatized, it may be time for a reset. Intensives often provide trauma-informed care that validates the betrayed partner’s experience while guiding the unfaithful partner toward genuine empathy and accountability. 6. High Stakes or a Tipping Point When a couple is on the brink of separation but isn’t ready to give up, an intensive can serve as a last effort to explore whether reconciliation is possible. It offers the tools and support to make informed decisions about the future, whether that means rebuilding or parting with integrity. ------ Sam’s Healing Podcast is brought to you by one of infidelity recovery’s most prominent and gifted influencers and YouTuber. For 15 years, Samuel has been online as one of the the leading spokespersons for healing and recovery of both betrayed and unfaithful spouses. After more than a decade of blogging and filming under one of the betrayal trauma’s founding fathers, famed clinician Rick Reynolds of affairrecovery.com, Sam has ventured out to pursue, create and live out his lifelong vision and passion for healing those touched by the trauma of infidelity. Through his new podcast and YouTube channel Samuel will continue to bring his own personal ...
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    32 mins
  • EP 44: Featuring Michael Webb and Psychological Games Couples Play: "If It Weren't for You..."
    Jun 8 2025

    Continuing the series on "Psychological Games Couples Play," Michael Webb and I discuss another game within the realm of Psychological Games called If It Weren't for You.

    Ever find yourself in the same frustrating argument with someone, especially your spouse— even though it starts off innocent and you swear this time it’ll go differently? But somehow, it spirals into a familiar mess?

    That’s not just bad luck. You might be stuck in a psychological game.

    Psychological games are repetitive patterns of hidden communication people play with each other, often unconsciously. They seem harmless on the surface, but they end with someone feeling hurt, guilty, or angry — just like before.

    These games follow a pattern:

    A hidden motive or unspoken message
    A predictable sequence of interactions
    A negative payoff (emotional discomfort or conflict)

    They’re not about fun — more like emotional traps that we fall into, often learned in childhood, resulting in confusion, hurt feelings and deep seated resentment.

    Transactional Analysis, developed by psychiatrist Eric Berne, is a theory of communication and personality. In TA, our interactions are seen as “transactions” between different parts of ourselves:

    👶 Child (emotions, creativity, needs, or rebellion)

    👨‍👩‍👧 Parent (rules, judgments, values — often inherited from authority figures)

    🧑 Adult (rational, in-the-moment decision-making)

    When people interact, they’re often unconsciously switching between these ego states. Games happen when there’s a mismatch or hidden motive behind a transaction — for example, someone may act like they want help (Adult to Adult), but are actually seeking to feel victimized (Child to Parent).

    Today Michael Webb shares how couples subconsciously participate in these games, especially those dealing with infidelity or addiction and highlights a massively toxic game of If It Weren't for You.....

    ------

    Sam’s Healing Podcast is brought to you by one of infidelity recovery’s most prominent and gifted influencers and YouTuber. For 15 years, Samuel has been online as one of the the leading spokespersons for healing and recovery of both betrayed and unfaithful spouses. After more than a decade of blogging and filming under one of the betrayal trauma’s founding fathers, famed clinician Rick Reynolds of affairrecovery.com, Sam has ventured out to pursue, create and live out his lifelong vision and passion for healing those touched by the trauma of infidelity. Through his new podcast and YouTube channel Samuel will continue to bring his own personal experiences with infidelity recovery along with delivering the most current and up-to-date clinical wisdom and healing modalities for recovery after an affair. Sam will also be expanding into the other critical areas of developing healthy relationships such as emotional and sexual connection, the impact of childhood sexual abuse and dysfunctional patterns of relating on marital intimacy, problematic communication patterns, complex, attachment and intergenerational trauma, compulsive sexual behavior, boundaries and the importance of inner-child healing work. Reach out to contact Samuel for personal coaching sessions at samshealingpodcast@gmail.com.

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    37 mins
  • EP 43: Interview with Adam Nisenson LMFT, Author of A Man's Guide to Partner Betrayal
    May 21 2025

    Meet Adam Nisenson, known as the Betrayal Shrink. Adam combines his extensive clinical skills with a deeply empathetic heart in his role as a Betrayal Trauma Coach. Licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, Adam is dedicated to guiding men through the complex emotions and challenges of betrayal trauma. He's also the author of A Man's Guide to Partner Betrayal, which is a one of a kind book geared towards betrayed men, hoping to find new life after their partner's infidelity.

    His methodology is deeply influenced by his intimate grasp of the trials faced by men confronting a partner’s infidelity. Leveraging his extensive clinical background and personal insights of being a betrayal partner himself, Adam creates a supportive and understanding environment, where clients are led through their journey of healing with compassion and wisdom.


    Holding a degree from Pacifica Graduate Institute with a focus on Marriage and Family Therapy, Professional Clinical Counseling, and Depth Psychology, Adam has committed his career to addressing critical issues such as betrayal, infidelity, sex addiction, and the myriad life challenges that accompany them. With Adam, the journey is not just about recovery; it’s about embarking on a path of profound personal growth and rediscovery.

    You can find more about Adam here: https://www.betrayalshrink.com/

    See you next time,

    Sam

    ------

    Sam’s Healing Podcast is brought to you by one of infidelity recovery’s most prominent and gifted influencers and YouTuber. For 15 years, Samuel has been online as one of the the leading spokespersons for healing and recovery of both betrayed and unfaithful spouses. After more than a decade of blogging and filming under one of the betrayal trauma’s founding fathers, famed clinician Rick Reynolds of affairrecovery.com, Sam has ventured out to pursue, create and live out his lifelong vision and passion for healing those touched by the trauma of infidelity. Through his new podcast and YouTube channel Samuel will continue to bring his own personal experiences with infidelity recovery along with delivering the most current and up-to-date clinical wisdom and healing modalities for recovery after an affair. Sam will also be expanding into the other critical areas of developing healthy relationships such as emotional and sexual connection, the impact of childhood sexual abuse and dysfunctional patterns of relating on marital intimacy, problematic communication patterns, complex, attachment and intergenerational trauma, compulsive sexual behavior, boundaries and the importance of inner-child healing work. Reach out to contact Samuel for personal coaching sessions at samshealingpodcast@gmail.com.

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    29 mins