
When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us
Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives
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Narrated by:
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Jane Adams
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By:
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Jane Adams
About this listen
How do today's parents cope when the dreams we had for our children clash with reality? What can we do for our 20- and even 30-somethings who can't seem to grow up? Who can we turn to when the kids aren't all right and we, their parents, are frightened, frustrated, resentful, embarrassed, and especially, disappointed? In this groundbreaking book, a social psychologist who's been chronicling the lives of American families for over two decades confronts our deepest concerns when our grown kids have failed to thrive. She listens to a generation that "did everything right" and expected its children to grow into happy, healthy, successful adults. But they haven't, at least not yet - and meanwhile, we're letting their problems threaten our health, marriages, security, freedom, careers, retirement, and other family relationships.
With warmth, empathy, and perspective, Dr. Adams offers a positive, life-affirming message to parents who are still trying to "fix" their adult children - Stop! She shows us how to separate from their problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own.
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Failure to Launch
- Why Your Twentysomething Hasn't Grown Up...and What to Do About It
- By: Mark McConville Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Stephen Graybill
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In Dr. Mark McConville's decades of experience as a family clinical psychologist, perhaps no problem has been more fraught than that of young adults who fail to successfully transition from adolescence into adulthood. These kids - technically adults - just can't get it together: They can't hold a job, they struggle to develop meaningful relationships, and they often end up back in their parents' spare bedroom or on the couch. In fact, studies show that one in four Americans aged 25 to 34 neither work nor attend school - a problem that spans all socioeconomic and geographic boundaries.
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Thank you.
- By TWW on 07-22-21
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When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart
- Coping with Mental Illness, Substance Abuse, and the Problems that Tear Families Apart
- By: Joel Young MD, Christine Adamec
- Narrated by: Rich Miller
- Length: 8 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Behind nearly every adult who is accused of a crime, becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, or who is severely mentally ill and acting out in public, there is usually at least one extremely stressed-out parent. This parent may initially react with the bad news of their adult child behaving badly with, "Oh no!" followed by, "How can I help to fix this?" A very common third reaction is the thought, "Where did I go wrong - was it something I said or did, or that I failed to do when my child was growing up that caused these issues? Is this really somehow all my fault?"
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Very Helpful
- By Lisa Adams on 04-08-25
By: Joel Young MD, and others
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Doing Life with Your Adult Children
- Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out
- By: Jim Burns PhD
- Narrated by: Wayne Campbell
- Length: 4 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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If you've raised a child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when they turn eighteen. In many ways, your relationship gets even more complicated--your heart and your head are as involved as ever, but you can feel things shifting, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact. Doing Life with Your Adult Children helps you navigate this rich and challenging season of parenting. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to the most common questions he's received over the years.
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Some good points but...
- By Millie on 06-15-19
By: Jim Burns PhD
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You and Your Adult Child
- How to Grow Together in Challenging Times
- By: Laurence Steinberg
- Narrated by: Laurence Steinberg
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Your child is now an adult, but your job as a parent is far from over. Instead, your role must evolve to meet their ongoing, changing needs. But what exactly are these new needs? And why are they so different now than they were when you were a young adult? This is the first comprehensive guide written for parents whose children are in two of the most crucial decades of life.
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A must-read book
- By Anonymous User on 04-23-23
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Don't Let Your Kids Kill You
- A Guide for Parents of Drug and Alcohol Addicted Children
- By: Charles Rubin
- Narrated by: Tom Zingarelli
- Length: 4 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Don't Let Your Kids Kill You is a landmark work that dares to focus on the plight of the confused, distressed parent and not the erring child. It sets aside any preconceived ideas that parents are to blame for what is essentially a full-blown global crisis. Drawing on interviews with parents who have survived the heartbreak of kids on drugs, combined with his own experience, Charles Rubin provides practical advice on how parents can help themselves and their families by first attending to their own needs.
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Must read if kids are in deep.
- By nkay on 04-04-18
By: Charles Rubin
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Difficult
- Mothering Challenging Adult Children Through Conflict and Change
- By: Judith R. Smith
- Narrated by: Suzie Althens
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Difficult brings to life the conflicts that arise for mothers who are confronted with the unexpected and burdensome dependencies of their adult children associated with mental illness, substance use, or chronic unemployment. Through real stories of mothers and their challenging adult children, this book offers accessible, provocative, and, at times, shocking illustrations of the excruciating maternal dilemma: Which takes precedence—the needs of the mother or of the distressed adult child? Difficult addresses a family situation which too many keep secret.
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Hope
- By Sonya Harmer on 08-30-24
By: Judith R. Smith
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Rules of Estrangement
- Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict
- By: Joshua Coleman
- Narrated by: Fred Sanders
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied.
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Excellent book for the parent's perspective
- By Anand on 06-11-21
By: Joshua Coleman
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Beyond Done with the Crying
- More Answers and Advice for Parents of Estranged Adult Children
- By: Sheri McGregor MA
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 13 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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For any parent of estranged adult children, reconciling may be a solo sport. Even when reconciliations do occur, their success requires wisdom and strength. That's why it's so important to empower yourself, make positive changes, and reclaim your life, even while waiting and continuing to reach out (if you choose to). Beyond Done with the Crying: More Answers and Advice for Parents of Estranged Adult Children is filled with information and solutions to the complex, real-life problems that plague parents of estranged adult children and their families.
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The title could really be "How to Stay Estranged"
- By Anonymous User on 01-16-25
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Smart but Scattered - and Stalled
- 10 Steps to Help Young Adults Use Their Executive Skills to Set Goals, Make a Plan, and Successfully Leave the Nest
- By: Richard Guare PhD, Colin Guare, Peg Dawson EdD
- Narrated by: Matthew Boston
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether you're a young adult who is stalled on the journey to independence or a concerned parent still sharing the family nest, this compassionate book is for you. Providing a fresh perspective on the causes of failure to launch, the expert authors present a 10-step plan that helps grown kids and parents work together to achieve liftoff.
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PDF is unuseable. Cannot print it out.
- By Wynelle on 10-31-21
By: Richard Guare PhD, and others
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Creating Boundaries with Your Adult Children
- How to Love, Trust, and Find Peace Together (9-Step Empowered Boundaries for Healthy Relationships)
- By: David P. Mitchell
- Narrated by: Steve King
- Length: 3 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Create a healthy relationship with your adult child through clear boundaries and expectations. As your child becomes a young adult, your role must evolve to meet their ongoing, changing needs. But what exactly are these new needs and how have they changed? How can you support them fully while still protecting yourself? What are the rules when they are living in the family home?
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Clarity of presentation.
- By Anonymous User on 04-05-24
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How to Connect with Your Troubled Adult Children
- Effective Strategies for Families in Pain
- By: Allison Bottke
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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When your child has reached (or long since passed) the point of independence, it's difficult to know what your "help" as a parent should look like. Following her best-selling book Setting Boundaries®with Your Adult Children, Allison Bottke offers an in-depth guide to help you connect with your adult child and to build your confidence, knowledge, and hope, as your child walks through challenging situations. Learn how to develop effective strategies to truly help your adult child - without sacrificing your sanity.
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BEWARE: Bottom line…. Get a diagnosis and put you kid on a pill!
- By Margaret Bullock on 09-07-21
By: Allison Bottke
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It's Not Supposed to Be This Way
- By: Lysa TerKeurst
- Narrated by: Lysa TerKeurst, Jolene Barto
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Life often looks so very different than we hoped or expected. Some events may simply catch us off guard for a season, but others shatter us completely. We feel disappointed and disillusioned at best and overwhelmed and hopeless at worst. We quietly start to wonder about the reality of God’s goodness and why he allows us to suffer and experience grief and loss. Lysa TerKeurst understands this deeply. But after many tears, godly counseling, and prayerful seeking, she's also discovered that our disappointments can be the divine appointments our souls need to radically encounter God.
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My Brutally Broken Heart Needed This Book
- By Ranae on 12-20-18
By: Lysa TerKeurst
What listeners say about When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us
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- HERBia
- 09-10-24
The substance lies on the last 3 chapters
Too many experiences overwhelmed me. However the last 3 chapters were inspiring enough to catch my full attention.
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- Barbara
- 01-24-24
I thought I was the only one
Loved how personal this book was. From drug using children to adult children in jail/in trouble
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- AnaElisa Casasola
- 06-17-24
The concept of detachment which is helpful for parents with children who disappoint them.
The story of parents help realize we are not alone in this painful and devastating journey.
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-18-19
Spot On!
I have been struggling to move on from my adult son for almost a decade and this book reinforced the decisions I am making are positive and I can finally move forward without the guilt.
The advise in this book has been monumental for me to hear and know that my story isnt unique, its a text book story for the parents of addicts and we have tomlet go and move on.
great book.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Pat Cart
- 01-31-23
helpful
I listened to it all the way through...will listen again...I took in some keynotes...I realized I stopped my daughter now 51 from growing up...always bailing her out...not anymore...I'm done hurting...my other two son's I've called it quits with them...no more abuse..what hurts is not seeing my granddaughters...
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-10-22
Great book
Listened to it 3 times. Need more details on detachment though. How to do that.
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- Angela C.
- 04-21-25
Stating the obvious
Many of us are desperate for help. I hoped I’d find hidden tricks. This book is great for parents who have not done much prior research.
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- Michelle A
- 07-18-18
Purposeful Parenting
I wish I bought this book before having kids so that I woukd have known what to expect and be better prepared for it. just the way the author could explain the very challenges I face(albeit on a much minor scale) definitely helped to ease and understand some of the frustration that a parent can face with adult children. Jane, everything in this book is useful, if not for ourself, but for some other adult child who is just not thriving. The book was such a great comfort to the issues I faced, that I went back over them again and again. I feel much better equipped now.What a relief to know I wasn't alone, an even greater relief that our issues can be remedied. Thanks Jane
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3 people found this helpful
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- Lori Hug
- 12-14-20
i struggled to finish
I was hoping for more suggestions or guidence on teaching. when to say no to enabling verses yes to helping.
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- Englund Family
- 12-03-19
Was hoping for more
The basic messages are 1. accept that your kids’ choices are not your fault, 2. Learn to detach, 3. Get on with your own life. I did journal a good quote from this book... “now is the only time I can make any difference”, so at least I got that. This audiobook was difficult to listen to, the author narrates herself, and she does not have a good narration voice. I’m glad the book was as short as it was, otherwise I would have had a hard time finishing it.
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4 people found this helpful