
Understanding the Borderline Mother
Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship
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Narrated by:
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Heather Auden
About this listen
The first love in our lives is our mother. Recognizing her face, her voice, the meaning of her moods, and her facial expressions is crucial to survival. In this book, Dr. Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore.
Four character profiles describe different symptom clusters that include the waif mother, the hermit mother, the queen mother, and the witch. Children of borderlines are at risk for developing this complex and devastating personality disorder themselves. Dr. Lawson's recommendations for prevention include empathic understanding of the borderline mother and early intervention with her children to ground them in reality.
Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim.
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You love your mother, but she drives you crazy. She controls, criticizes, and butts into your life constantly. Then when you try and set boundaries, the pushback and resulting guilt are so bad you tell yourself...it's just not worth it. Is your mother narcissistic, borderline, or just plain difficult? Are you empathetic, sensitive, and kind? If so, chances are you have fallen into one or all of the hidden psychological traps that constitute the Good Daughter Syndrome.
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Decent primer if your mom is still in your life
- By Twin of Eyegone on 07-01-24
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The Witch's Daughter
- My Mother, Her Magic, and the Madness That Bound Us
- By: Orenda Fink
- Narrated by: Orenda Fink
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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From her perch on a kitchen stool each night, Orenda Fink’s darkly charismatic mother spins family lore and tells tales of the supernatural powers she wields, insisting that both she and Orenda are magic. By day, Orenda’s childhood is marked by instability and uncertainty. Her family moves from town to town, chasing a fresh start whenever the money runs out. Orenda’s mother insists that she is a witch, and magic is their means of protection from the world outside of their family.
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Such a uniquely personal struggle yet so relatable to anyone who grew up in a dysfunctional/traumatic childhood.
- By david barnes on 08-23-24
By: Orenda Fink
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Stop Walking on Eggshells for Partners
- What to Do When Your Partner Has Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
- By: Randi Kreger, Bill Eddy LCSW JD
- Narrated by: Rachel Perry
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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BPD and NPD expert Randi Kreger provides targeted resources to help you build the confidence you need to navigate your relationship safely and effectively. Packed with in-depth information and proven-effective skills, this guide will help you evaluate your relationship, discover what you truly want and need, and gain the courage needed to make healthy decisions.
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Essential if you are in high-conflict relationship
- By lcc on 12-06-24
By: Randi Kreger, and others
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Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
- How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship
- By: Shari Y. Manning PhD
- Narrated by: Angela Brazil
- Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be intensely caring, warm, smart, and funny, but their behavior often drives away those closest to them. If you're struggling in a tumultuous relationship with someone with BPD, this is the book for you. Dr. Shari Manning helps you understand why your spouse, family member, or friend has such out-of-control emotions and how to change the way you can respond.
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fantastic
- By randy on 06-15-16
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The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide
- Everything You Need to Know About Living with BPD
- By: Alexander L. Chapman PhD, Kim L. Gratz PhD, Perry D. Hoffman PhD - foreword
- Narrated by: Barry Abrams
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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If you or someone you love is struggling with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you need up-to-date, accurate, and accessible information on the problems you're facing and where you can turn for help. But where do you look? Much of the professional literature on BPD is too technical and confusing to be of much help. If you're living with BPD, this compassionate book offers what you really need: an easy-to-follow road map to guide you through this disorder and its treatment.
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Great BPD guide! 👍
- By Anonymous User on 07-17-21
By: Alexander L. Chapman PhD, and others
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Stop Walking on Eggshells for Parents
- How to Help Your Child (of Any Age) with Borderline Personality Disorder Without Losing Yourself
- By: Randi Kreger, Christine Adamec MBA, Daniel S. Lobel PhD
- Narrated by: Rachel Perry
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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If you have a child with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you are all-too-aware of the behavioral and emotional issues that are linked to this disorder-including rages, self-harm, sexual acting out, substance abuse, suicidal behaviors, physical and emotional attacks, and more. Traditional parenting strategies that work on other kids just don't work with a borderline child. But you shouldn't lose hope. The good news is that there are parenting strategies that do work.
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an absolute lifesaver!
- By Robin D Cogswell on 01-31-23
By: Randi Kreger, and others
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Girl in Need of a Tourniquet
- Memoir of a Borderline Personality
- By: Merri Lisa Johnson
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett
- Length: 4 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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An honest and compelling memoir, Girl in Need of a Tourniquet is Merri Lisa Johnson’s account of her borderline personality disorder and how it has affected her life and relationships. Johnson describes the feeling of "bleeding out" unable to tell where she stopped and where her partner began. A self-confessed "psycho girlfriend," she was influenced by many emotional factors from her past. She recalls her path through a dysfunctional, destructive relationship, while recounting the experiences that brought her to her breaking point.
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Chaotic, disturbing, meaningless
- By BRB on 04-02-14
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The Emotionally Absent Mother
- How to Recognize and Heal the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect, Second Edition
- By: Jasmin Lee Cori MS LPC
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships - or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can't quite put a finger on what's missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse - but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering.
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Good book but not the audio version
- By ibekristi on 08-08-18
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Splitting, Second Edition
- Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
- By: Bill Eddy LCSW JD, Randi Kreger
- Narrated by: Christopher Grove
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Splitting is an essential legal and psychological guide for anyone divorcing a persuasive blamer: someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and/or antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). This second edition includes new information about antisocial personalities; expanded information about domestic violence, child abuse, alienation, and false allegations; how to approach protective orders and deal with child custody disputes; and a new chapter on how to successfully present your case to decision makers.
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Must read!
- By tara on 01-11-22
By: Bill Eddy LCSW JD, and others
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Complex Borderline Personality Disorder
- How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance
- By: Daniel J. Fox PhD
- Narrated by: Terrence Bayes
- Length: 9 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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If you've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD), or suspect that you might have it, you should know that not everyone experiences the condition in the same way. BPD actually manifests on a spectrum, and while some people may encounter extreme symptoms and consequences on one end, others may be less affected on the other.
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Gave me hope
- By katie on 09-24-24
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Talking to a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder
- Communication Skills to Manage Intense Emotions, Set Boundaries, and Reduce Conflict
- By: Jerold J. Kreisman MD, Randi Kreger - foreword
- Narrated by: Rebecca Roberts
- Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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If you have a loved one with BPD, you need real, proven-effective strategies to help you navigate the intense emotions and conflict that can arise in daily interactions and conversations. People with BPD often feel anger, pain, and hurt from a history of invalidation and disappointment, and their difficulty in regulating emotions can lead to moments of lashing out that can confuse and upset those around them. Talking to a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder offers a breakthrough, compassionate approach to communicating with a loved one who has BPD.
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Relief!
- By kathryn on 02-22-24
By: Jerold J. Kreisman MD, and others
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Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
- How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
- By: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents' emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you'll learn how to create positive new relationships so you can build a better life.
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Astonishing information.
- By K J Sunflower on 07-20-16
What listeners say about Understanding the Borderline Mother
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- ESVK
- 03-09-17
Amazingly Comprehensive & Accurate
Would you consider the audio edition of Understanding the Borderline Mother to be better than the print version?
The print version is equally valuable as a reference as this book is deep.
What did you like best about this story?
The author accurately and comprehensively covers a very difficult subject
Have you listened to any of Heather Auden’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
N/A
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
Too deep to listen to in a short period of time. I need to listen to this book multiple times.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Melissa N.
- 12-10-22
So helpful
This book has been unbelievably helpful in helping me to understand how I was NOT mothered well and gives me language and knowledge to use when living a separate life and moving forward in adulthood after choosing to be estranged from my toxic family of origin
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2 people found this helpful
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- K
- 05-18-23
Illuminating and validating
This was an amazing book! It shed light on a challenging and fraught topic with such poise. Truly a healing read.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Liz
- 12-06-18
Great book and narrator!
This book really puts alot of my childhood and adult life into perspective, I've never been able to understand the evil that is my Mother. I will listen to it again because there is so much good information and I want to retain it all.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Chantal N.
- 06-13-20
Amazing
Beautifully written. Recommend to anyone who is struggling with BPD or has a family member who may be struggling with it. Thank you Christine Lawson.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Michael
- 06-16-19
Finally I understand
Finally I understand my mother, how to handle myself around her, and know that there is hope for all of us in recovering our lives.
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- Gidget1022
- 12-08-21
My life nailed!
This book was validating for me. I wish I would have read it years ago. The behaviors and examples used hit so close to home for me. If you’re even the slightest bit suspicious that things were off in your childhood then this book will clarify things for you. Understanding your mothers behavior is the first step in healing and breaking free.
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- Holly
- 12-31-21
So informative and helpful
My step-children have a borderline mother and this book was so helpful in deepening my and my husband’s understanding of what our children experience through their mother and how to help them escape the ravages of BPD themselves.
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- Lori
- 12-01-17
Excellent book, pretty much all women should listen to this.
BPD effects are everyone in society at some degree. Therefore the more people that understand the better chances we have as a society to make a difference. Many people are completely unaware they even have BPD.
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- Adam Shekerjian
- 12-23-21
Exactly what was needed!
I heard my and my clients' stories throughout this book. It was a professional recommendation and definitely a book worth reading. For anyone who has had (has) a troubled relationship with their mother, or to further understand others who do, it is well worth the read. Thank you so much for writing and sharing this knowledge and to those who shared their story throughout the book.
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