
To Have and to Hold
Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma
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Narrated by:
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Molly Millwood
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By:
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Molly Millwood
About this listen
A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood.
When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being. And though she had the benefit of a supportive husband during this transition, she also at times resented the fact that the disruption to his life seemed to pale in comparison to hers.
As a clinical psychologist, Molly knew her experience was a normal response to a life-changing event. But without the advantage of such a perspective, many of the patients she treated in her private practice grappled with self-doubt, guilt, and fear and suffered the dual pain of not only the struggle to adjust, but also the overwhelming shame for struggling at all.
In To Have and to Hold, Molly explores the complex terrain of new motherhood, illuminating the ways it affects women psychologically, emotionally, physically, and professionally - as well as how it impacts their partnership. Along with the arrival of a bundle of joy come thorny issues such as self-worth, control, autonomy, and dependency. And for most new mothers, these issues are experienced within the context of an intimate relationship, adding another layer of tension, conflict, and confusion to an already challenging time.
As Molly examines the inextricable link between women’s well-being as new mothers and the well-being of their relationships, she offers guidance to help listeners reclaim their identities, overcome their guilt and shame, and repair their relationships. A blend of personal narrative, scientific research, and stories from Molly’s clinical practice, To Have and to Hold provides a much-needed lifeline to new mothers everywhere.
©2019 Molly Millwood (P)2019 HarperCollins PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Get rid of mom guilt, regain your sanity, and prevent burnout. Loving your kids isn’t supposed to mean you completely disappear or get swallowed up by the demands of motherhood. You want to be a great mother. But how do you care for yourself without neglecting your kids needs, feeling overwhelmed by guilt, or succumbing under the pressure to be perfect? Dr. Morgan—a psychotherapist and relationship expert—has helped over 100,000 moms regain their sanity and prevent burnout through her popular courses, coaching, and social media wisdom.
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The single best parenting or life-coaching book for any mom!
- By Amber on 03-09-25
By: Morgan Cutlip
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All Joy and No Fun
- The Paradox of Modern Parenthood
- By: Jennifer Senior
- Narrated by: Jennifer Senior
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Thousands of books have examined the effects of parents on their children. But almost none have thought to ask: What are the effects of children on their parents? In All Joy and No Fun, award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior tries to tackle this question, isolating and analyzing the many ways in which children reshape their parents' lives, whether it's their marriages, their jobs, their habits, their hobbies, their friendships, or their internal senses of self. She argues that changes in the last half century have radically altered the roles of today's mothers and fathers, making their mandates at once more complex and far less clear.
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The Joy of Parenting
- By Cynthia on 02-14-14
By: Jennifer Senior
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Trap Tales
- Outsmarting the 7 Hidden Obstacles to Success
- By: David M. R. Covey, Stephan M. Mardyks
- Narrated by: David M. R. Covey
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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Outsmart the traps that are holding you back from success! Trap Tales is your guide to avoiding the seven obstacles that ensnare people every day. We all fall into traps, and we often don't even realize it until we're deeply entrenched. Like quicksand, traps are easy to step into, but difficult to escape - it seems that the harder we try to climb out, the deeper we sink. But what if there were another way? What if we knew the right strategies to escape the traps we have fallen into? What if we could spot traps from a distance, and avoid them entirely?
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Captivating
- By Jeff on 02-18-18
By: David M. R. Covey, and others
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Mom Rage
- The Everyday Crisis of Modern Motherhood
- By: Minna Dubin
- Narrated by: Minna Dubin
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Mothers aren’t supposed to be angry. Still, Minna Dubin was an angry mom: exhausted by the grueling, thankless work of full-time parenting and feeling her career slip away, she would find herself screaming at her child or exploding at her husband. When Dubin pushed past her shame and talked with other mothers about how she was feeling, she realized that she was far from alone. Mom Rage is Dubin’s groundbreaking work of reportage about an unspoken crisis of anger sweeping the country—and the world.
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It is must read for any “mom”!
- By Amazon Customer on 09-27-23
By: Minna Dubin
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Life Hacks from the Buddha
- How to Be Calm and Content in a Chaotic World
- By: Dr. Tony Fernando
- Narrated by: Dr Tony Fernando
- Length: 12 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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The Buddha worked out how best to deal with the challenges we face today over 2000 years ago. His teachings show us that human stress, anxiety and suffering are nothing new. Life Hacks from the Buddha will help you to quieten your mind, create more peaceful environments to live in, and find the calm and contentment you need to help you function at your very best, which will leave a lasting impression on everyone around you.
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Author shared his own life experiences which made it somewhat more relatable
- By Anonymous User on 12-22-24
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Savor
- Mindful Eating, Mindful Life
- By: Lilian Cheung, Thích Nhất Hạnh
- Narrated by: Dan Woren
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Common sense tells us that to lose weight, we must eat less and exercise more. But somehow we get stalled. We start on a weight-loss program with good intentions but cannot stay on track. Neither the countless fad diets, nor the annual spending of $50 billion on weight loss helps us feel better or lose weight. Too many of us are in a cycle of shame and guilt. We spend countless hours worrying about what we ate or if we exercised enough, blaming ourselves for actions that we can't undo.
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Same old advice with justa pinch of mindfullness
- By Dvdmon on 05-15-15
By: Lilian Cheung, and others
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The Quest for Character
- What the Story of Socrates and Alcibiades Teaches Us About Our Search for Good Leaders
- By: Massimo Pigliucci
- Narrated by: Alan Carlson
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Is good character something that can be taught? In 430 BCE, Socrates set out to teach the vain, power-seeking Athenian statesman Alcibiades how to be a good person—and failed spectacularly. Alcibiades went on to beguile his city into a hopeless war with Syracuse, and all of Athens paid the price. In The Quest for Character, philosophy professor Massimo Pigliucci tells this famous story and asks what we can learn from it.
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another great work by Massimo
- By Cameron on 11-14-22
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Inner Mastery, Outer Impact
- How Your Five Core Energies Hold the Key to Success
- By: Hitendra Wadhwa PhD
- Narrated by: Hitendra Wadhwa PhD
- Length: 12 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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It seems that our drives for Outer and Inner Success are destined to clash. But perhaps that’s only because we’ve been searching for success in the wrong places. Through extensive scientific research and masterful storytelling about exemplary figures and everyday heroes drawn from Dr. Hitendra Wadhwa’s class at Columbia Business School and client workshops at Mentora Institute—listeners arrive at timeless principles of success in life and leadership. Empowered by your Five Core Energies, you discover how to create outer impact from a place of inner mastery.
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A soulful passage
- By Steven Morris on 06-26-24
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All the Rage
- Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership
- By: Darcy Lockman
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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The inequity of domestic life is one of the most profound and perplexing conundrums of our time. In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data shows that one area of gender inequality stubbornly remains: the unequal amount of parental work that falls on women, no matter their class or professional status.
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Must read for men
- By Brooks Rainey Pearson on 06-12-19
By: Darcy Lockman
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Tiny Humans, Big Emotions
- How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children
- By: Alyssa Blask Campbell, Lauren Elizabeth Stauble
- Narrated by: Alyssa Blask Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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We’re in the midst of a parenting revolution that is radically changing the way we raise our kids. Gone are the days of minimizing emotions: Don’t Cry. You’re Fine. Don’t Make a Scene. As our understanding of developing brains has increased, today’s parents are looking for a new way to help their children understand their feelings and learn to process them.
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Good pointers for preschool parents and teachers
- By Chelsea on 06-17-24
By: Alyssa Blask Campbell, and others
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The Great Money Reset
- Change Your Work, Change Your Wealth, Change Your Life
- By: Jill Schlesinger
- Narrated by: Jill Schlesinger
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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The COVID-19 pandemic forced us to rethink everything. Now, when it comes to envisioning a post-pandemic future, financial expert Jill Schlesinger hears one question over and over: IS THIS REALLY HOW I WANT TO LIVE? The Great Money Reset is your guide to getting real and building your best life. A bible for navigating our present era of seismic change, Schlesinger’s book shows us how to take advantage of this situation to pull off personal transitions.
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This Book is for the Wealthy.
- By Lynette on 12-24-24
By: Jill Schlesinger
What listeners say about To Have and to Hold
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- Samantha
- 08-31-19
A must listen for new mothers
Oh my goodness just so much truth in 1 book! This book will help validate so many conflicting feelings we all have as wives and mothers. I couldn’t stop sharing on social media, definitely a must listen or must read!
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- Lindsey Konchar
- 01-22-22
Changed my life
I know “changed my life” seems dramatic, but it’s honestly what this book did for me. It was the most validating piece of work I’ve ever encountered, and I will forever be grateful for this book. I genuinely believe all new moms should read this 💛
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- Hayley
- 10-02-22
Highly Recommend for New Moms
I started out reading this and then found I was more available to listen than to read. The first half of the book was especially helpful for me and there were many moments of "yes!" where feelings I had not been able to put into words were there in the book explained so well. I would recommend this to anyone planning to become pregnant or anyone who is a new parent.
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- Jan
- 11-11-22
Every mom should read this.
This book shines light on all of the dark scary and lonely places of motherhood. She discusses all the feelings and thoughts that are culturally unacceptable for a mother to express. The vulnerability exposed in this book helped me feel not alone and validate all of the feelings of motherhood.
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- Priscilla Vasconcelos
- 05-27-23
Just what I needed ❤️🙏🏻
It was nice to find out that other people have experienced similar feelings to the ones I had and couldn’t even find the right word to express. It is helping me, my marriage, my family! Thank you!
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- Lauren E Thomas
- 03-19-25
Raw, real, relatable!
I really enjoyed how raw and real the author Molly is in this book! So much relatability and great reminders for a new moms. As a mom of a 18 month old and 8 week old, it was nice to be reminded that I’m not alone and I truly appreciate the tips on how to navigate through this time.
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- Chris DeWitt
- 06-29-23
The book I wish I had…
I read during my postpartum period with my second and it made me feel so validated. I wish I had this book after my first when my world was so rocked by the changes.
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- E F
- 09-01-22
speaking to my SOUL
Every single word of this book I have found to be relatable at a time when I'm needing it most.
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- Stephanie Jean Pruett
- 11-23-22
For every mother
I recommend this to every mother I know.
I wish I knew about it when my baby was a newborn.
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- Jennifer K L Koester
- 07-30-24
Required reading for new moms
This book is the most validating on the postpartum changes (I’d have given anything to have it after my first baby), and helpful guide to the challenge babies pose for couples, citing examples and explaining attachment theory. Whether it is your first or your fifth baby, both parents should take time to read and discuss this book together.
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