
Hunt, Gather, Parent
What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans
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Narrated by:
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Michaeleen Doucleff
About this listen
New York Times Best Seller
The oldest cultures in the world have mastered the art of raising happy, well-adjusted children. What can we learn from them?
“Hunt, Gather, Parent is full of smart ideas that I immediately wanted to force on my own kids.” (Pamela Druckerman, The New York Times Book Review)
When Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff becomes a mother, she examines the studies behind modern parenting guidance and finds the evidence frustratingly limited and the conclusions often ineffective. Curious to learn about more effective parenting approaches, she visits a Maya village in the Yucatán Peninsula. There she encounters moms and dads who parent in a totally different way than we do - and raise extraordinarily kind, generous, and helpful children without yelling, nagging, or issuing timeouts. What else, Doucleff wonders, are Western parents missing out on?
In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Doucleff sets out with her three-year-old daughter in tow to learn and practice parenting strategies from families in three of the world’s most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. She sees that these cultures don’t have the same problems with children that Western parents do. Most strikingly, parents build a relationship with young children that is vastly different from the one many Western parents develop - it’s built on cooperation instead of control, trust instead of fear, and personalized needs instead of standardized development milestones.
Maya parents are masters at raising cooperative children. Without resorting to bribes, threats, or chore charts, Maya parents rear loyal helpers by including kids in household tasks from the time they can walk. Inuit parents have developed a remarkably effective approach for teaching children emotional intelligence. When kids cry, hit, or act out, Inuit parents respond with a calm, gentle demeanor that teaches children how to settle themselves down and think before acting. Hadzabe parents are world experts on raising confident, self-driven kids with a simple tool that protects children from stress and anxiety, so common now among American kids.
Not only does Doucleff live with families and observe their techniques firsthand, she also applies them with her own daughter, with striking results. She learns to discipline without yelling. She talks to psychologists, neuroscientists, anthropologists, and sociologists and explains how these strategies can impact children’s mental health and development. Filled with practical takeaways that parents can implement immediately, Hunt, Gather, Parent helps us rethink the ways we relate to our children, and reveals a universal parenting paradigm adapted for American families.
©2021 Michaeleen Doucleff. All rights reserved. (P)2021 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"NPR reporter Michaeleen Doucleff narrates this audiobook - part memoir and part guide on contemporary parenting. She is honest, clear, and thoughtful as she presents a wide range of research on parenting theories from many cultures. For those seeking new ways to connect with or better understand their children, this will be a welcome listen. Doucleff creates the feeling she is in your kitchen, swapping stories and wisdom of the ages. This title is easy on the ears, and the chapters go by swiftly. For an author turned narrator, she is very confident as she presents ideas from diverse sources. From the Inuit to city dwellers, Doucleff informs as she entertains, regaling us with advice of how to keep the peace." (AudioFile Magazine)
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- By: Jessica Joelle Alexander, Dissing Sandahl
- Narrated by: Kim Mai Guest
- Length: 3 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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What makes Denmark the happiest country in the world - and how do Danish parents raise happy, confident, successful kids, year after year? This upbeat and practical book presents six essential principles, which spell out P-A-R-E-N-T. With illuminating examples and simple yet powerful advice, The Danish Way of Parenting will help parents from all walks of life raise the happiest, most well-adjusted kids in the world.
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Obvious parenting tips unrelated to Danes
- By Rachel H. on 09-24-16
By: Jessica Joelle Alexander, and others
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The Whole-Brain Child
- 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
- By: Daniel J. Siegel M.D., Tina Payne Bryson
- Narrated by: Daniel J. Siegel M.D., Tina Payne Bryson
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson offer a revolutionary approach to child rearing with twelve key strategies that foster healthy brain development, leading to calmer, happier children. The authors explain—and make accessible—the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures.
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Several comments on the brain were incorrect.
- By Abelle on 04-18-23
By: Daniel J. Siegel M.D., and others
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How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen
- A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7
- By: Joanna Faber, Julie King
- Narrated by: Heather Alicia Simms, Michele Pawk, Candace Thaxton, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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What do you do with a little kid who...won't brush her teeth...screams in his car seat...pinches the baby...refuses to eat vegetables...runs rampant in the supermarket? Organized according to common challenges and conflicts, this book is an essential emergency first-aid manual of communication strategies, including a chapter that addresses the special needs of children with sensory processing and autism spectrum disorders.
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The message is great but the narration and writing style cringey
- By Elliott Family on 07-23-19
By: Joanna Faber, and others
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Bringing Up Bébé
- One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting
- By: Pamela Druckerman
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 9 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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The secret behind France's astonishingly well-behaved children is here. When American journalist Pamela Druckerman has a baby in Paris, she doesn't aspire to become a "French parent". French parenting isn't a known thing, like French fashion or French cheese. Even French parents themselves insist they aren't doing anything special. But French children are far better behaved and more in command of themselves than American kids....
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Inspiring
- By Em on 04-15-12
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The Montessori Toddler
- By: Simone Davies
- Narrated by: Susie Berneis
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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This guide offers a step-by-step plan that helps parents cultivate daily routines so that they can turn life with toddlers into a mutually rich time of curiosity and learning.
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A good book with a lot of ideas
- By Dewey on 07-23-21
By: Simone Davies
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No Bad Kids
- Toddler Discipline Without Shame
- By: Janet Lansbury
- Narrated by: Janet Lansbury
- Length: 3 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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For parents who are anticipating or experiencing those critical years when toddlers are developmentally obliged to test the limits of our patience and love, No Bad Kids is a practical, indispensable resource for putting respectful discipline into action.
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The only toddler parenting book you’ll need
- By J.D. on 01-18-25
By: Janet Lansbury
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No-Drama Discipline
- The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
- By: Tina Payne Bryson PhD, Daniel j. Siegel MD
- Narrated by: Daniel J. Siegel MD, Tina Payne Bryson PhD
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Highlighting the fascinating link between a child’s neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No-Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, and tears - without causing a scene. Defining the true meaning of the “d” word (to instruct, not to shout or reprimand), the authors explain how to reach your child, redirect emotions, and turn a meltdown into an opportunity for growth.
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I Can See Light At The End Of My Tunnel
- By G Busi on 02-23-15
By: Tina Payne Bryson PhD, and others
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How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
- By: Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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This best-selling classic by internationally acclaimed experts on communication between parents and children includes fresh insights and suggestions, as well as the author’s time-tested methods to solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships.
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Best. Parenting. Book. Ever.
- By John on 01-02-13
By: Adele Faber, and others
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Tiny Humans, Big Emotions
- How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children
- By: Alyssa Blask Campbell, Lauren Elizabeth Stauble
- Narrated by: Alyssa Blask Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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We’re in the midst of a parenting revolution that is radically changing the way we raise our kids. Gone are the days of minimizing emotions: Don’t Cry. You’re Fine. Don’t Make a Scene. As our understanding of developing brains has increased, today’s parents are looking for a new way to help their children understand their feelings and learn to process them.
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Good pointers for preschool parents and teachers
- By Chelsea on 06-17-24
By: Alyssa Blask Campbell, and others
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The Montessori Baby
- A Parent's Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding
- By: Simone Davies, Junnifa Uzodike
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 10 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s time to change the way we see babies. Drawing on principles developed by the educator Dr Maria Montessori, The Montessori Baby shows how to raise your baby from birth to age one with love, respect, insight, and a surprising sense of calm. Cowritten by Simone Davies, author of the bestselling The Montessori Toddler, and Junnifa Uzodike, it’s a book filled with hundreds of practical ideas for understanding what is actually happening with your baby, and how you can mindfully assist in their learning and development.
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Fantastic but better in book or Kindle form
- By Mary on 05-24-21
By: Simone Davies, and others
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French Kids Eat Everything
- How Our Family Moved to France, Cured Picky Eating, Banned Snacking, and Discovered 10 Simple Rules
- By: Karen Le Billon
- Narrated by: Cris Dukehart
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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When she moved her young family to her husband's hometown in northern France, Karen Le Billon expected some cultural adjustment. But she didn't expect to be lectured for slipping her fussing toddler a snack, or to be forbidden from packing her older daughter a school lunch. Karen is intrigued by the fact that French children happily eat everything-from beets to broccoli, from salad to spinach - while French obesity rates are a fraction of what they are in North America.
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Can I have a snack? mais non, bien sûr - NO!
- By Marie on 03-21-15
By: Karen Le Billon
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Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids
- How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting
- By: Laura Markham
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on the latest research on brain development and extensive clinical experience with parents, Dr. Laura Markham's approach is as simple as it is effective. Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change. When you have that vital connection, you don't need to threaten, nag, plead, bribe - or even punish. This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions - and get them in check - so they can parent with healthy limits, empathy, and clear communication.
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Not for parents of elementary aged kids
- By Jennifer on 10-28-16
By: Laura Markham
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Brain-Body Parenting
- How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids
- By: Mona Delahooke
- Narrated by: Emily Ellet
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Over her decades as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Mona Delahooke has routinely counseled distraught parents who struggle to manage their children’s challenging, sometimes oppositional behaviors. These families are understandably focused on correcting or improving a child’s lack of compliance, emotional outbursts, tantrums, and other “out of control” behavior. But, as she has shared with these families, a perspective shift is needed. Behavior, no matter how challenging, is not the problem but a symptom; a clue about what is happening in a child’s unique physiologic makeup.
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Groundbreaking
- By bug on 05-16-22
By: Mona Delahooke
What listeners say about Hunt, Gather, Parent
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Overall
- Alicia Reed
- 05-23-21
Hands down my favorite parenting book
Though it does reference some of my other favorites!
This book really appealed to me as an attachment parenting style babywearing cosleeping mom, who chose to do things differently from western culture during the baby phase because it just didn't feel right or natural to me. I feel like Western society has strayed far from our natural state in so many ways! Thank goodness that I lived in a time where I could find online resources about how other cultures managed the needs of their babies. But then, I ran into trouble once my babies weren't babies anymore!!! What was the most natural, intuitive way to parent toddlers and bigger kids? Certainly not the way I was raised! I was so lost, and struggled to discern deeply ingrained but unhealthy methods of parenting from my own childhood and the more appropriate methods I thought should have come naturally to me, but which I struggled to manifest. Then, enter this book. Just as it was with babywearing and cosleeping, everything rings true to my little parent heart. It feels right. Thank you for this guide! ❤
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10 people found this helpful
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- Antonio Hicks
- 03-13-21
Life-changing
This book has changed the way I parent. I have realized I don’t have to be my child’s adversary. I highly recommend it to everyone!
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- Madeline Korony
- 04-19-21
Interesting Point of View
Entertaining story and point of view. My daughter is too young to use these concepts but it definitely changed the way I think about interacting with her. I think this speaks to our culture as a whole being unhealthy, which unfortunately we can't always change.
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- dguru
- 03-17-21
Foundational parenting book
I am blown away by how much this book is changing my parenting style. I see myself becoming calmer, more accepting, and grateful for the effort, curiosity, and kindness I can now see in my kids. I am now aware of when they make mistakes or avoid doing something because they don’t know something, or don’t have the skill. This book has been transformative.
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- Allison E
- 06-24-21
Inspiring new perspective
didn't love the pushing to be a "big girl" but everything else was spot on & helpful
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- Susan M Anderson
- 05-02-21
Thank you, Michaeleen and Rosy!!!
I finally have a parenting resource that teaches me strategies of leaving my childhood of yelling behind and to raise my children in a calm, helpful, and kind environment. This will take practice to put into action because I struggle controlling my emotions, but it has provided hope. I wish I would have had this when my children were Rosy's age. One suggestion that I and my fellow parent friends would LOVE is printed talking points or the sentence starters with the chapter summaries. How awesome would it be to have a quick resource that I could read over each day?! I purchased the book in order to make my own resource like this. Again, thank you from my family!
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- Nicole Miranda
- 09-21-21
Excellent book!
I loved listening to this. It reminded me of how my mom raised me and how important it is to let go of control. Wonderfully narrated as well.
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- digital recorder
- 08-10-21
A must Read/Listen for all parents
I absolutely loved this book. Before even finishing the audio book, I started implementing some of the techniques with my daughter and we’re still learning, but it has definitely helped diffuse those epic meltdowns and has made them less frequent which is a success for any 2 year old. I even bought the print version as well so I could refer back to it more easily. This is a must read/listen for any parent!
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- Kt C
- 10-22-21
Must listen!
Oh I loved this book! The authors voice was very soothing and kind. The information is useful immediately. I have listened to it three times in a row now! Upon implementing some of the ideas my Five year old daughter and I have become even more compatible!
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- Chelsey Sommers
- 02-19-22
Highly Recommend!!!
I absolutely loved everything about this book! I feel there are several concepts discussed everyone that has children should try to implement into their parenting and relationships.
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