
The Trauma of Everyday Life
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Narrated by:
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Walter Dixon
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By:
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Mark Epstein MD
About this listen
Trauma does not just happen to a few unlucky people; it is the bedrock of our psychology. Death and illness touch us all, but even the everyday sufferings of loneliness and fear are traumatic. In The Trauma of Everyday Life renowned psychiatrist and author of Thoughts Without a Thinker, Mark Epstein uncovers the transformational potential of trauma, revealing how it can be used for the mind's own development. Western psychology teaches that if we understand the cause of trauma, we might move past it while many drawn to Eastern practices see meditation as a means of rising above, or distancing themselves from, their most difficult emotions. Both, Epstein argues, fail to recognize that trauma is an indivisible part of life and can be used as a lever for growth and an ever-deeper understanding of change. When we regard trauma with this perspective, understanding that suffering is universal and without logic, our pain connects us to the world on a more fundamental level. The way out of pain is through it.
Epstein’s discovery begins in his analysis of the life of Buddha, looking to how the death of his mother informed his path and teachings. The Buddha’s spiritual journey can be read as an expression of primitive agony grounded in childhood trauma. Yet the Buddha’s story is only one of many in The Trauma of Everyday Life. Here, Epstein looks to his own experience, that of his patients, and of the many fellow sojourners and teachers he encounters as a psychiatrist and Buddhist. They are alike only in that they share in trauma, large and small, as all of us do. Epstein finds throughout that trauma, if it doesn’t destroy us, wakes us up to both our minds’ own capacity and to the suffering of others. It makes us more human, caring, and wise. It can be our greatest teacher, our freedom itself, and it is available to all of us.
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We are all touched at some point by the dark emotions of grief, fear, or despair. In an age of global threat, these emotions have become widespread and overwhelming. While conventional wisdom warns us of the harmful effects of "negative" emotions, this revolutionary book offers a more hopeful view: there is a redemptive power in our worst feelings. Seasoned psychotherapist Miriam Greenspan argues that it's the avoidance and denial of the dark emotions that results in the escalating psychological disorders of our time.
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Best Book for Introspective Trauma Healing
- By Brea H. on 01-22-22
By: Miriam Greenspan
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Going on Being
- Buddhism and the Way of Change
- By: Mark Epstein M.D.
- Narrated by: Mark Epstein M.D.
- Length: 3 hrs and 24 mins
- Abridged
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Going on Being is Mark Epstein's memoir of his early years as a student of Buddhism and of how Buddhism shaped his approach to therapy, as well as a practical guide to how a Buddhist understanding of psychological problems makes change for the better possible.
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Blissfull commuting
- By Joseph on 02-25-03
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Bringing Home the Dharma
- Awakening Right Where You Are
- By: Jack Kornfield, Daniel J. Siegel MD - foreword
- Narrated by: Jack Kornfield, Edoardo Ballerini
- Length: 10 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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If you want to find inner peace and wisdom, you don't need to move to an ashram or monastery. Your life, just as it is, is the perfect place to be. Jack Kornfield, one of America's most respected Buddhist teachers, shares this and other key lessons gleaned from more than 40 years of committed study and practice.
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Not Read by Jack Kornfield
- By Roger on 05-18-17
By: Jack Kornfield, and others
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Buddha's Brain
- The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love & Wisdom
- By: Rick Hanson PhD, Daniel J. Siegel MD - foreword, Richard Mendius MD - contributor, and others
- Narrated by: Rick Hanson PhD
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Great teachers like the Buddha, Jesus, Moses, Mohammed, and Gandhi were all born with brains built essentially like anyone else’s—and then they changed their brains in ways that changed the world. Neuroscience now reveals how the flow of thoughts actually sculpt the brain, and more and more, we are learning that it’s possible to strengthen positive brain states. By combining breakthroughs in science with insights from thousands of years of mindfulness practice, you too can shape your own “Buddha’s Brain” for greater happiness, love, and wisdom.
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Search and Find - The Science of Equanimity
- By Christopher E Lane on 04-16-25
By: Rick Hanson PhD, and others
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Grief Is the Thing with Feathers
- A Novel
- By: Max Porter
- Narrated by: Jot Davies
- Length: 1 hr and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Here he is, husband and father, scruffy romantic, a shambolic scholar - a man adrift in the wake of his wife's sudden, accidental death. And there are his two sons who like him struggle in their London apartment to face the unbearable sadness that has engulfed them. The father imagines a future of well-meaning visitors and emptiness, while the boys wander, savage and unsupervised. In this moment of violent despair they are visited by Crow - antagonist, trickster, goad, protector, therapist, and babysitter.
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Stunningly Creative
- By Rainking on 07-15-21
By: Max Porter
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The Art of Letting Go
- By: Rania Naim, Skyla Child, Marisa Bagnato, and others
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 1 hr and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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We often struggle to let some people go, especially when they made that decision. We question the universe, we question ourselves, and we question everyone around us but we never truly get our answers. Letting someone go takes time, patience, and commitment to actively stop ourselves from relapsing and thinking about that person again. The Art of Letting Go helps you understand why, how, and when you should let someone go so you can move on and never look back.
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Robotic voice-painful
- By Jessica Heizman on 01-14-21
By: Rania Naim, and others
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Finding Meaning
- The Sixth Stage of Grief
- By: David Kessler
- Narrated by: David Kessler
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In this groundbreaking new work, David Kessler - an expert on grief and the coauthor with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross of the iconic On Grief and Grieving - journeys beyond the classic five stages to discover a sixth stage: meaning.
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paying it forward
- By Sandra Sena on 07-11-20
By: David Kessler
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Meditations on Living, Dying, and Loss
- The Essential Tibetan Book of the Dead
- By: Graham Coleman - editor introduction, Thupten Jinpa - editor, Dalai Lama - introduction, and others
- Narrated by: Graham Coleman, Gyetrul Jigme Rinpoche, Thupten Jinpa
- Length: 4 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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In Meditations on Living, Dying and Loss, Graham Coleman, the editor of Viking's acclaimed unabridged translation of The Tibetan Book of the Dead, collects the most beautifully written passages, ones that draw out the central perspectives most relevant to modern experience: What is death? How can we help those who are dying? And how can we come to terms with bereavement? New to this edition are Coleman's introduction and his brilliant and incisive essays, which preface each chapter and provide the seeker entrée to these ancient insights.
By: Graham Coleman - editor introduction, and others
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Experiencing Grief
- By: H. Norman Wright
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 2 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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At one time or another, we will all find ourselves facing a dark journey - the passage through grief. Experiencing Grief is written for a person who is in the wake of the despair grief leaves. This brief but powerful book will help lead listeners out of their grief experience through five stages of grief. At the end of the journey is peace and a seasoned, more mature faith.
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Excellent look on Grief. I’ve read yet.
- By James B. on 04-08-25
By: H. Norman Wright
What listeners say about The Trauma of Everyday Life
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- MB
- 11-06-16
Original and beautifully woven
Epstein's interpretation of the life of the Buddha through a psychotherapeutic lens offers new insights into how both Buddhist and psychotherapeutic can heal everyday trauma. The author's personal illustrations make this book a gem.
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- Lois Thompson
- 06-06-24
Flawed Recording
I always listen to books at a normal speed but this book sounded way too speedy. I listened at a lower speed, 70%? Not sure, but it made the book listenable, if sometimes too slow-ow-ow.
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- Jharper
- 07-30-15
Changed My Life
The only way out is through
You feel Epstein's language in your body. His writing and reasoning resonates on a level deeper than intellect
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1 person found this helpful
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- Lana Abu Ayyash
- 10-04-13
This is what i call a GREAT book
If you must read one book on pain, suffering ..etc then let it be this one ...
But let me first clarify that this is a Buddhist book filled with the teachings of the Buddha ...it is also filled with information about the life of the Buddha, but that usually comes with a purpose ...
I cannot praise this book enough ... as it helped me finally OPEN my eyes to reality instead of dreaming away with all the self-help junk i have read throughout the years ..
An insightful ... sobering ... well written book
note: i didn't like the narration at all ...
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16 people found this helpful
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- Juan Pablo Galindo
- 10-24-23
Astounding
Another wonderful read by Dr. Epstein. Engaging, thought provoking and insightful. Can’t wait to read more.
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- Herstory buff
- 07-03-14
It's Predominantly Buddhist Philosophy/Psychology
Would you try another book from Mark Epstein M.D. and/or Walter Dixon?
no
How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?
to include more religious perspectives
Did the narration match the pace of the story?
yes
Did The Trauma of Everyday Life inspire you to do anything?
no, not at all
Any additional comments?
While the philosophy is interesting and is applicable for therapists to use in their work, it wasn't for me seeking inspiration.
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1 person found this helpful
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- C. A. Card
- 06-04-17
The golden wind as holding environment
What did you love best about The Trauma of Everyday Life?
Through exploration of stories of the Buddha, Epstein allows us to recognize, acknowledge, and accept the inherently traumatic nature of our everyday experience. With these stories of the Buddha's journey to enlightenment, he weaves in philosophy (e.g., Husserl), psychoanalysis (e.g., Winnicott), developmental psychology and brain science. The result is a lucid explication of the inherently intersubjective nature of existence and the value of implicit relational knowing. The latter has perhaps been referred in the Buddhist cannon as the golden wind. The golden wind seems to be emblematic of the necessity of bringing of attention, acknowledgment, and acceptance of our experience, across the positive and the negative, the painful, the pleasureful, the neutral, in order to discover self as well as other. The golden wind may be in psychoanalysis the essence of the healing relationship between therapist and client; in developmental psychology the good enough mother-child relationship, and in meditation the open awareness evoked in mindfulness meditation. As I read this book, I could not help but be drawn to see his argument as an excellent portrayal of recent calls to honor our "right brain" way of "being" and to quiet the "left brain" way of "doing, grasping and manipulating" as described by the neuroscientist Iain McGilchrist ("The Master and his Emissary"-another must read). Thank you Mark Epstein for this lovely book.
Who was your favorite character and why?
the Buddha
What three words best describe Walter Dixon’s voice?
bit too fast
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
yes
Any additional comments?
The speed made following the audio version somewhat challenging, just little too fast to process while listening. Interspersing reading with listening worked better.
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- Louis
- 06-18-22
The best
Absolutely eye opening. At 80 and teaching yoga,Taekwondo Taichi and steeped in Buddhist dharma for over 50 yrs I have never felt better in my body mind spirit than I do now because I have brought the child in me to the present moment. Both the wounded child and the wonder child. Then I heard this book and it knocked my socks off.So deep so revealing. Opening me up.Once as hard as nails now I can cry on a dime and it feels wonderful and this book told me why Right book right timing.- David Roya
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- Megan Kline
- 11-07-15
Buddhist teachings for everyone and everyday.
I've had this book on my list to read ever since hearing it praised in 10 % Happier. I've recently been going through quite a personal ordeal, so it seemed a good time to step back into thinking about Buddhism in hopes it could give me insight into my own situation. I figured if it helped Dan Harris so much, it certainly couldn't hurt me.
The Trauma of Everyday Life is a wonderful step into the notion that combines psychiatry and Buddhism. Mark Epstein is a psychiatrist known for using Buddhist practices in treating his patients, and this book served as a good overview of how the two intertwine. Epstein gives examples of different "traumas" some of his patients experienced, and then references one of the Buddha's teachings that applied to that circumstance. There is quite a bit of retelling of stories from the Buddha's life and what they taught the people of his time, but Epstein always ties it back into our modern lives. The biggest focus is the concept of, "The only way out is through." It is only by allowing ourselves to experience our emotions, no matter how unpleasant, that we can overcome them.
This book is full of really wonderful quotes, several of which I wrote down to help me remember. I thought they would be worth sharing, so here goes:
"Enlightenment does not mean getting rid of anything. It means changing one's frame of reference so that all things become enlightening."
"When we stop distancing ourselves from the pain in the world, our own or others, we create the possibility of a new experience, one that often surprises because of how much joy, connection, or relief it yields. Destruction may continue, but humanity shines through."
"Awakening does not mean a change in difficulty, it means a change in how those difficulties are met."
I highly enjoyed this book. The more I delve into Buddhism, the more respect I have for the concepts it teaches. I am a much more confident person having learned just what I have in the past 6 months, and this book certainly helped me on that path. I would caution that this probably wouldn't be the best book for a complete newcomer to Buddhism - maybe read one of the other books I've read this year first - but this will absolutely help to show how practical a Buddhist frame of mind can be when it comes to our emotional lives. I give this book 4 out of 5 stars.
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- Layne C. Bryant
- 07-03-20
The orator gets better halfway through the 1st chapter.
Don’t listen to the other reviews. The orator is awkward at first but gets less robotic as it goes. It’s a must read.
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