
Advice Not Given
A Guide to Getting Over Yourself
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Narrated by:
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Mark Epstein MD.
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By:
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Mark Epstein MD.
About this listen
"Most people will never find a great psychiatrist or a great Buddhist teacher, but Mark Epstein is both, and the wisdom he imparts in Advice Not Given is an act of generosity and compassion. The book is a tonic for the ailments of our time." (Ann Patchett, New York Times best-selling author of Commonwealth)
Our ego, and its accompanying sense of nagging self-doubt as we work to be bigger, better, smarter, and more in control, is one affliction we all share. And while our ego claims to have our best interests at heart, in its never-ending pursuit of attention and power, it sabotages the very goals it sets to achieve. In Advice Not Given, renowned psychiatrist and author Dr. Mark Epstein presents a how-to guide rooted in two traditions, Buddhism and Western psychotherapy, devoted to maximizing the human potential for living a better life.
Our ego, and its accompanying sense of nagging self-doubt as we work to be bigger, better, smarter, and more in control, is one affliction we all share. And, while our ego claims to have our best interests at heart, in its never-ending pursuit of attention and power, it sabotages the very goals it sets to achieve. In Advice Not Given, Dr. Mark Epstein reveals how Buddhism and Western psychotherapy, two traditions that developed in entirely different times and places and, until recently, had nothing to do with each other, both identify the ego as the limiting factor in our well-being, and both come to the same conclusion: When we give the ego free reign, we suffer; but when it learns to let go, we are free.
With great insight, and in a deeply personal style, Epstein offers listeners a how-to guide that refuses a quick fix, grounded in two traditions devoted to maximizing the human potential for living a better life. Using the Eightfold Path, eight areas of self-reflection that Buddhists believe necessary for enlightenment, as his scaffolding, Epstein looks back productively on his own experience and that of his patients. While the ideas of the Eightfold Path are as old as Buddhism itself, when informed by the sensibility of Western psychotherapy, they become something more: a road map for spiritual and psychological growth, a way of dealing with the intractable problem of the ego. Breaking down the wall between East and West, Epstein brings a Buddhist sensibility to therapy and a therapist's practicality to Buddhism. Speaking clearly and directly, he offers a rethinking of mindfulness that encourages people to be more watchful of their ego, an idea with a strong foothold in Buddhism but now for the first time applied in the context of psychotherapy.
Our ego is at once our biggest obstacle and our greatest hope. We can be at its mercy or we can learn to mold it. Completely unique and practical, Epstein's advice can be used by all - each in his or her own way - and will provide wise counsel in a confusing world. After all, as he says, "Our egos can use all the help they can get."
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Critic reviews
“Most people will never find a great psychiatrist or a great Buddhist teacher, but Mark Epstein is both, and the wisdom he imparts in Advice Not Given is an act of generosity and compassion. The book is a tonic for the ailments of our time.” (Ann Patchett, New York Times best-selling author of Commonwealth)
“Mark Epstein’s Advice Not Given continues his important, fascinating work in exceptionally lucid language. It also offers its readers a collection of fables, vignettes, and personal revelations with the true capacity to rearrange one’s perspective, even change one’s life. I suspect many of these offerings will stay with me for the long haul, for which I’m very grateful.” (Maggie Nelson, New York Times best-selling author of The Argonauts)
“Epstein’s book of practical suggestions will leave readers educated, inspired, and equipped with new tools for psychological health.” (Publishers Weekly, starred review)
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Challenging and Enlightening
- By Constant reader on 10-07-12
By: Mark Epstein MD
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Open to Desire
- The Truth About What the Buddha Taught
- By: Mark Epstein MD
- Narrated by: Mark Epstein MD
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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It is common in both Buddhism and Freudian psychoanalysis to treat desire as if it is the root of all suffering and problems, but psychiatrist Mark Epstein believes this to be a grave misunderstanding. In his controversial defense of desire, he makes clear that it is the key to deepening intimacy with ourselves, each other, and our world. Proposing that spiritual attainment does not have to be detached from intimacy or eroticism, Open to Desire begins with an exploration of the state of dissatisfaction that causes us to cling to irrational habits.
By: Mark Epstein MD
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10% Happier
- How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found a Self-Help That Actually Works
- By: Dan Harris
- Narrated by: Dan Harris
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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After having a nationally televised panic attack on Good Morning America, Dan Harris knew he had to make some changes. A lifelong nonbeliever, he found himself on a bizarre adventure, involving a disgraced pastor, a mysterious self-help guru, and a gaggle of brain scientists.
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Mandatory read before trying any self-help books
- By Patrick on 04-08-14
By: Dan Harris
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Going on Being
- Buddhism and the Way of Change
- By: Mark Epstein M.D.
- Narrated by: Mark Epstein M.D.
- Length: 3 hrs and 24 mins
- Abridged
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Going on Being is Mark Epstein's memoir of his early years as a student of Buddhism and of how Buddhism shaped his approach to therapy, as well as a practical guide to how a Buddhist understanding of psychological problems makes change for the better possible.
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Blissfull commuting
- By Joseph on 02-25-03
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Why Buddhism Is True
- The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment
- By: Robert Wright
- Narrated by: Fred Sanders
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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From one of America's greatest minds, a journey through psychology, philosophy, and lots of meditation to show how Buddhism holds the key to moral clarity and enduring happiness. In Why Buddhism Is True, Wright leads listeners on a journey through psychology, philosophy, and a great many silent retreats to show how and why meditation can serve as the foundation for a spiritual life in a secular age.
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Clear Explanation of How the Mind Works
- By George on 08-10-17
By: Robert Wright
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Living Buddha, Living Christ
- By: Thich Nhat Hanh
- Narrated by: Ben Kingsley
- Length: 2 hrs and 16 mins
- Abridged
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World-renowned thinker and scholar Thich Nhat Hanh, considered by many to be a "Living Buddah," explores the spiritual crossroads where the traditions of Christianity and Buddhism meet. Living Buddha, Living Christ reawakens our understanding of both religions and the connections between them.
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Beautiful
- By Jennifer Weatherbee on 04-18-15
By: Thich Nhat Hanh
What listeners say about Advice Not Given
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- Mike Federle
- 01-24-18
Insightful
I enjoyed this insightful book immensely. I plan to listen again. The reading for me was soothing.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Sarah
- 05-12-18
excellent read
definitely going to listen to this a few more times, gave me much needed insights.
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2 people found this helpful
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- annak
- 07-27-19
One of the best books in this field
I enjoyed every minute of it, and I believe I learned more about Buddhism and the psychic than I ever expected.
Thank you, Mark.
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- Margaret Allan
- 06-01-23
Love letter to Buddhism and psychotherapy
Mark’s mellifluous voice takes us on a personal, deeply felt and meaningful catch-up with his thinking in traversing both these worlds. I have used his writing and reading as a self object a la Kohut, carrying his wisdom and fluency though a difficult day or two, always enlivened. I will listen again. I highly recommend this work
Margaret Allan PsyD
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- John S.
- 12-12-18
Honest and enlightening
The first half hour was painful due to the slow cadence of the author/narrator but then things pick up. I found myself using the 30sec back button often. Lots of good to apply to life. Dr. Epstein is very honest and not pretentious unlike some in the same category. Will listen to his other books.
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- Manuel Valdez
- 10-29-19
Great Read
This is a good book for those who intend to practice mindfulness, meditation, or “consciousness” in the long term. This book serves as a helping hand for anyone struggling with being mindful as it explains the underlying dharma behind the practice.
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- Nisan Man
- 12-28-20
splendid book for starting the path
I found the book enlightening. I plan to read more on the consciousness and Buddhism
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- Karo
- 10-04-23
Brilliant read/listen ❤️
Brilliant read/listen. I appreciate the wise reflections around both areas (psychotherapy & Buddhism) that are very important to me.
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- TCope
- 02-12-18
Framework
Although this book does not offer a formula for becoming aware of, and interacting with ones own ego, Mark does certainly offer a compelling framework for approaching ones own relationship with oneself, and from there, the world.
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- Marc
- 07-15-18
I even sent a copy to my therapist.
Really brilliant. Helps me connect my therapy with my meditation practice. I even sent a copy to my therapist so she could keep up.
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