
The Emotional Lives of Teenagers
Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents
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Narrated by:
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Lisa Damour Ph.D.
About this listen
An urgently needed guide to help parents understand their teenagers’ intense and often fraught emotional lives—and how to support them through this critical developmental stage—from the New York Times bestselling author of Untangled and Under Pressure
In teenagers, powerful emotions come with the territory. And with so many of today’s teens contending with academic pressure, social media stress, worries about the future, and concerns about their own mental health, it’s easy for them—and their parents—to feel anxious and overwhelmed. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Parents who listen to this book will learn:
• what to expect in the normal course of adolescent emotional development and when it’s time to worry
• why teens (and adults) need to understand that mental health isn’t about “feeling good” but about having feelings that fit the moment, even if those feelings are unwanted or painful
• strategies for supporting teens who feel at the mercy of their emotions so they can become psychologically aware and skilled at managing their feelings
• how to approach common challenges that come with adolescence, such as friction at home, spiking anxiety, risky behavior, navigating friendships and romances, the pull of social media, and many more
• the best ways to stay connected to their teens and how to provide the kind of relationship that adolescents need and want
With clear, research-informed explanations alongside illuminating, real-life examples, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers gives parents the concrete, practical information they need to steady their teens through the bumpy yet transformational journey into adulthood.
*Includes a downloadable PDF of recommended resources from the book
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2023 Lisa Damour (P)2023 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“The Emotional Lives of Teenagers does a very simple and very difficult thing. It helps me feel ready for the joy, and the storm, to come.” —Slate
“Filled with relatable situations, examples, and suggestions for constructive conversations, this book will be welcomed by parents and anyone who works with adolescents. Parents looking for timely advice and reassurance will find it here in clear layman’s language.” —Booklist
“A calm, wise, and empathetic guide to a difficult period for both adolescents and parents.” —Kirkus Reviews
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Story
In the ever more competitive race to secure the best possible future, today’s students face unprecedented pressure to succeed. They jam-pack their schedules with AP classes, fill every waking hour with resume-padding activities, and even sabotage relationships with friends to “get ahead.” Family incomes and schedules are stretched to the breaking point by tutoring fees and athletic schedules. Yet this drive to optimize performance has only resulted in skyrocketing rates of anxiety, depression, and even self-harm in America’s highest achieving schools.
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If you live or work in one of these communities, you will see yourself
- By Paula on 09-04-23
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7 Vital Skills for Parenting Teen Boys and Communicating with Your Teenage Son
- Proven Positive Parenting Tips for Raising Teenage Boys and Preparing Your Teenager for Manhood
- By: Frank Dixon
- Narrated by: Shawn Lennox
- Length: 1 hr and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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As a parent or guardian of a teenaged boy, you understand the unique challenges that you have to overcome - your son’s lack of communication and poor listening skills, the mood swings, lack of discipline and, maybe, even some personal hygiene issues. But the same precious and loving son is still in that overgrown, clumsy body. You just must learn to understand that most of what you are dealing with is a normal part of going through puberty and maturing.
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Don’t waste a credit
- By OcalaMary on 10-19-23
By: Frank Dixon
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Behind Their Screens
- What Teens Are Facing (and Adults Are Missing)
- By: Emily Weinstein, Carrie James
- Narrated by: Emily Weinstein
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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What are teens actually doing on their smartphones? Contrary to many adults’ assumptions, they are not simply “addicted” to their screens, oblivious to the afterlife of what they post, or missing out on personal connection. They are just trying to navigate a networked world. In Behind Their Screens, Emily Weinstein and Carrie James, Harvard researchers who are experts on teens and technology, explore the complexities that teens face in their digital lives, and suggest that many adult efforts to help—“Get off your phone!” “Just don’t sext!”—fall short.
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Teens need a template
- By A. P. on 02-14-23
By: Emily Weinstein, and others
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The Collapse of Parenting
- How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them like Grown-Ups
- By: Leonard Sax
- Narrated by: Leonard Sax
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Collapse of Parenting, internationally acclaimed author Leonard Sax argues that rising levels of obesity, depression, and anxiety among young people can be traced to parents abdicating their authority. The result is children who have no standard of right and wrong, who lack discipline, and who look to their peers and the Internet for direction. Sax shows how parents must reassert their authority - by limiting time with screens, by encouraging better habits at the dinner table, and by teaching humility and perspective - to renew their relationships with their children.
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Should be required reading for all parents and educators!
- By ck on 10-04-24
By: Leonard Sax
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This Is So Awkward
- Modern Puberty Explained
- By: Cara Natterson MD, Vanessa Kroll Bennett
- Narrated by: Cara Natterson MD, Vanessa Kroll Bennett
- Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Almost everything about puberty has changed since today's adults went through it. Bewildered adults have begged for reliable and relatable information about the modern adolescent experience. This Is So Awkward answers their call. Written by a pediatrician and a puberty educator—together the hosts of a lively and popular podcast on puberty, and moms to six teens between them—this is the handbook everyone has been searching for. Eye-opening and reassuring, This Is So Awkward will help adults understand the turbulent pubescent decade and become confident guides for today’s kids.
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Text book reading for understanding your kids
- By Leap4 on 09-23-24
By: Cara Natterson MD, and others
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Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle: Resolve the Power Struggle and Build Trust, Responsibility, and Respect
- By: Neil D. Brown LCSW
- Narrated by: Alan Taylor
- Length: 5 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Power struggles between parents and teens are nothing new, but chronic control battles are destructive to teen development as well as the entire family. According to psychotherapist Neil Brown, these battles occur as the result of self-perpetuating negative relationship patterns.
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Highly Recommend (Seriously, there's help)
- By Debbie on 12-19-18
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Decoding Boys
- New Science Behind the Subtle Art of Raising Sons
- By: Cara Natterson
- Narrated by: Cara Natterson
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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As pediatrician and mother of two teenagers Cara Natterson explains, puberty starts in boys long before any visible signs appear, and that causes confusion about their changing temperaments for boys and parents alike. Often, they also grow quieter as they grow taller, which leads to less parent-child communication. But, as Natterson warns in Decoding Boys, we respect their increasing "need" for privacy, monosyllabic conversations, and alone time at their peril.
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wanted to give 5 but last chapter is so biased
- By Jeff Bullock on 01-15-22
By: Cara Natterson
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The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers
- The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively
- By: Gary Chapman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Never before has raising teens been so perplexing. If you are wondering what on earth you're doing wrong, you're not alone. But there is hope. By learning to meaningfully express love amid your teens' many changes, you can stay connected, maintain influence, and help them grow into healthy adults.
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If implemented? Magnificent!
- By Miniak07 on 05-12-17
By: Gary Chapman
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How to Raise an Adult
- Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success
- By: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Narrated by: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Length: 12 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research; on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers; and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large.
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Target Audience- Upper-Middle Class
- By Savy shopper on 06-02-16
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Positive Self-Parenting Solutions for Teenagers
- Learning to Love Themselves from Scared Parents: Healing the Post-Traumatic Stress in Your Life and Recovering You
- By: Patrice M Foster
- Narrated by: Melanie Carey
- Length: 4 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Positive Self-Parenting Solutions is made for teenagers struggling and dealing with depression. It begins by emphasizing the importance of mindfulness and healing the post-traumatic stress in one's life and the numerous benefits.
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Regurgitates regular vacuous stuff
- By Sir Walter Raleigh on 08-14-22
By: Patrice M Foster
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Have a New Teenager by Friday
- From Mouthy and Moody to Respectful and Responsible in 5 Days
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Kirby Heybourne
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Congratulations! You have a teenager in your home. Life will never quite be the same again (of course, you already know that). But it can be better than you’ve ever dreamed. In fact, you’re just five days away from your teenager asking, “What can I do to help?” Guaranteed! With his signature wit and commonsense psychology, internationally recognized family expert and New York Times best-selling author Dr. Kevin Leman will help you. your teenager’s life. With Dr. Leman’s instinct and insight, plus an index with gutsy advice on 75 hot-button issues that keep parents up at night.
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Listen with a Critical Mind
- By Stephanie on 03-25-13
By: Kevin Leman
What listeners say about The Emotional Lives of Teenagers
Highly rated for:
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- Jennifer H
- 03-15-23
Invaluable Resource for Parents!
I just finished listening to The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, and I am just blown away by how much important information Dr. Damour was able to squeeze into this book, which was wonderfully enjoyable to listen to. There was a perfect mix of research and practical tips with lots of interesting anecdotes sprinkled in. I especially liked Dr. Damours suggestions of actual things you could say to your child in a variety of challenging situations. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is a parent or who works with adolescents!
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- A Sardin
- 06-08-23
Short and sweet. Lots of examples. I loved it.
Great book. I loved the way is written. Very practical advice. Do yourself a favor and buy it!
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- Pourmans
- 01-23-24
Stay the course!
This is my most favorite book by Lisa Damour. Disclaimer: I currently have 2 teenage boys. There is a bounty of helpful & applicable information. Key takeaways for me: LISTEN, sympathize, be nearby “in the background,” and just because they don’t want to be seen with you or like your outfit does not mean they do not love you!
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- Amy
- 02-21-23
Only at introduction and…
THIS RIGHT HERE! Only at introduction and have realize so many things I need to work on and understand THIS right here is so far from what I can tell anyway going to help me help my daughter graduate. She only had 4 months left and has been wanting to stay home weekly from school due to various issues. I try to be supportive and not wanting to minimize her feelings and didn’t know when I was being insensitive or needed to push more. I definitely didn’t want to harm her mental health. I will be listening to see if I can get my answer that I have asked therapists and her psych dr of “ How do I push her without it coming across as insensitive or cold, or how do I know when I have pushed enough and lay off? I feel like it’s hindering her further to allow her to come home when she feels a certain way” I will update my review as I listen more as to if this is what I’ve been searching for the last 3 years! Thank you to the author for hitting it so far!
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5 people found this helpful
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- Alizé
- 03-01-23
She has done it again!
Amazing resource for parents of teenagers and one you could go back to time and time again for reference and counsel. Love Dr Lisa and her practical advice.
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- Kathy Brenner
- 04-09-23
Required reading for anyone with kids under 18
Loved it and told all my friends with kids that it was a must read.
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- Andrea Balliet
- 11-18-23
Amazing!
I am a social worker, who works with children every single day. This book will definitely help me in my practice!
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- Roben Torosyan
- 11-24-23
Between Parent & Teenager Gets Modern
Incredibly well written, nuanced, practical, wise. When I started this book a few months ago, I was really yeah I would send struggling to figure out how to handle household surges in emotion.  By the conclusion I felt instead pride in my girls and my spouse, equipped to navigate specific situations better, connected to their inner worlds, and inspired to keep it up. Damour is incredible.
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- Heidi
- 01-19-24
Great read to prepare for parenting teens
I appreciated all of the practical information relevant to today’s teenage experience. I have found all of Lisa Damours books to be very useful.
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- jarom
- 02-11-25
Wish that my parents had this book
This book is validating, instructional and healing. I highly recommend to anyone with kids as young as 8. 10/10
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