
The Confidence Gap
A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
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Narrated by:
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Graeme Malcolm
About this listen
Too many of us miss out on opportunities in life because we lack self-confidence. Whether it's public speaking, taking on a leadership role, or asking someone for a date, there are situations in which we just don't feel equipped to handle the challenges we face. Russ Harris offers a surprising solution to low self-confidence, shyness, and insecurity: Rather than trying to "get over" our fears, he says, the secret is to form a new and wiser relationship with them. Paradoxically, it's only when we stop struggling against our fearfulness that we begin to find lasting freedom from it. Drawing on the techniques of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a cutting-edge form of cognitive-behavioral therapy, The Confidence Gap explains how to: Free yourself from common misconceptions about what confidence is and how to build it; transform your relationship with fear and anxiety; clarify your core values and use them as your inspiration and motivation; use mindfulness to effectively handle negative thoughts and feelings.
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Editorial review
By Seth Hartman, Audible Editor
THE CONFIDENCE GAP HELPS YOU GROW AT YOUR OWN PACE
In a sea of compelling and well-researched books focused on self-betterment, The Confidence Gap offers one of the most earnest and achievable goals. In terms of pure personal impact, Russ Harris’s words left a strong impression on me and continue to affect my life.
I tend to be pretty skeptical when authors attempt to change my mindset. When it comes to books that make promises like this, I am more of a "guilty until proven innocent" type of guy. This book, however, really did reframe some of my most foundational qualities. Adopting clinically proven techniques from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Dr. Harris seeks to rewrite our relationships with our own anxieties and limitations.
A psychotherapist and a medical doctor, Dr. Harris believes that we are misusing what he considers to be some of our most useful instincts. He advises that attempting to apply brute force to insecurities will generally not only end in failure and frustration, but can even create a worse relationship to that particular feeling. At first, I did not understand where he was taking this point, but Harris quickly offers an elegant solution. Rather than seeing my weaknesses as a burden, I could instead apply them as assets to tackle life’s greatest obstacles. This is no snake oil pitch, as all of Dr. Harris’s claims are backed up by verified Acceptance and Commitment Therapy research.
Dr. Harris’s pragmatic approach to self-development really resonated with me. I am not the kind of person who believes in quick fixes, and that is not what The Confidence Gap offers. Rather than relying on a gimmicks and, ultimately, skimming the surface of self-confidence, Harris challenged me to look within myself, identify what I believe is holding me back, and then make it my ally. As I know from experience, this process requires work—luckily, this book comes with plenty of exercises to help its many lessons sink in. After investing time and effort in The Confidence Gap, I have found that I look at my own limitations with a deeper understanding and with something resembling fondness.
While any fan of self-development media will likely enjoy this book, I think this is an especially good one for skeptics like me. Dr. Harris makes no bones about some of life's most difficult hurdles. He knows that there are countless self-help titles out there, and he does not attempt to compete with them by spewing the same mantras we have all heard countless times. This is self-development for people who recognize their blemishes and personal hang-ups. Rather than seeking to fix your life in one go, Harris will guide you to instill values that are designed to help build confidence from the ground up.
Continue reading Seth's review >
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The Five Keys to Mindful Communication
- Using Deep Listening and Mindful Speech to Strengthen Relationships, Heal Conflicts, and Accomplish Your Goals
- By: Susan Gillis Chapman
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Good communiation is essential to any healthy relationship, whether it's between spouses, family members, friends, or co-workers. In this book Susan Chapman, a marriage and family therapist and a longtime meditation teacher, explains how mindfulness can be brought to bear in the way we speak and listen to each other so that we can strengthen our connections and better accomplish our goals.
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Caution: Textbook Madness!
- By Randolph on 04-02-15
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How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference
- By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Allison Friederichs Atkison
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
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Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them. But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.
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Meh. Glad I didn't pay for it.
- By Paula on 07-23-22
By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, and others
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How to Stay Focused: 10 Untold Remarkably Simple Techniques to Control Your Mind and Stay Focused
- By: Stephens Hyang
- Narrated by: Robert Gazy
- Length: 36 mins
- Unabridged
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This audiobook will help you understand why you have been losing focus. It was written in a light manner to help you better grasp the reasons for lack of focus in your life. There are no complex theories and concepts to comprehend.
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It was fine
- By Sanio T. on 04-30-16
By: Stephens Hyang
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The Happiness Trap
- How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- By: Russ Harris
- Narrated by: Russ Harris
- Length: 12 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Russ Harris provides a means to escape the epidemic of stress, anxiety, and depression, unlocking the secrets to a truly fulfilling life. Updated and expanded by 50 percent in its second edition, this empowering book presents the insights and techniques of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), covering more topics and providing more practical tools than ever before.
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Good book for people with anxiety and depression
- By Jagdeep S Sandhu on 01-19-22
By: Russ Harris
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ACT with Love (Second Edition)
- Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
- By: Russ Harris
- Narrated by: Russ Harris
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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Picture-perfect storybook romances don't exist in real life. Couples fight. Feelings of love wax and wane through the years. So, how can you reignite passion and intimacy in your relationship, cultivate greater understanding and compassion between yourself and your partner, and bring the joy back to your love life? In this fully revised edition of ACT with Love, therapist and world-renowned ACT expert Russ Harris shows how developing psychological flexibility can help you and your partner strengthen your relationship.
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Good summary
- By Mark Pardue on 01-06-25
By: Russ Harris
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Healing Through Breathing
- Four Lessons for Lasting Health and Happiness
- By: Eddie Stern
- Narrated by: Eddie Stern
- Length: 2 hrs and 49 mins
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Learn four simple, slow breathing techniques to calm your emotions and leave you stress-free. In addition, these forms of breathing will improve cardiovascular health and your sleep and will also reduce inflammation. Breathing expert Eddie Stern guides you through these practices and also explains exactly how and why they work. These techniques are also a boon to mindfulness and meditation. So tune in, relax, and get ready to take some deep, life-changing breaths through Eddie Stern’s excellent coaching.
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Breath is life!
- By Marie on 01-21-24
By: Eddie Stern
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Get Out of Your Mind & Into Your Life
- The New Acceptance & Commitment Therapy
- By: Spencer Smith, Steven C. Hayes
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Get Out of Your Mind & Into Your Life introduces Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a new approach to psychotherapy that reevaluates our most basic assumptions about mental health, and details how ACT can help you to embrace life and everything it has to offer.
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Mindfulness Psychology - But Get The Book
- By Elim.Garak on 03-29-17
By: Spencer Smith, and others
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How to Stop People-Pleasing
- By: The Great Courses, Wind Goodfriend
- Narrated by: Wind Goodfriend
- Length: 2 hrs and 40 mins
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We all want to be liked and appreciated by the people around us, but some of us may let this desire dictate our choices and behaviors in a way that can become unhealthy. In How to Stop People-Pleasing, psychology professor Dr. Wind Goodfriend examines what drives many of us to sacrifice our well-being to please others and offers guidance on how you can set healthy boundaries and start prioritizing yourself.
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Author's Disclaimer unecessary..Text obviates lack of experiential knowledge
- By dc customer on 11-12-24
By: The Great Courses, and others
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The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
- By: Dr. Nathaniel Branden
- Narrated by: Dr. Nathaniel Branden
- Length: 3 hrs and 23 mins
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Immense in scope and vision and filled with brilliant insights into human nature, this program is the ultimate work on the psychology of self-esteem. Listen and find out the strength Dr. Branden's six pillars will award you.
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Like listening to a psych professor but no help.
- By Leslie, children's author and teacher😊 on 02-14-15
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How to Release Anxiety
- By: Gabrielle Bernstein
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Bernstein
- Length: 1 hr and 29 mins
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It’s not just you. Stress levels are at an all-time high—so much so that a recently convened panel of medical experts in the US has recommended that all adults under the age of 65 be screened for anxiety. In How to Release Anxiety, Gabby Bernstein offers simple, actionable steps for feeling better, living with more ease, and showing up for those around us. Gabby’s unusual advice: Rather than manage your anxiety, what if you befriended it? Gabby posits that what we befriend, we can ultimately be at ease with. So she invites us to get curious.
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Not my thing, but one good point
- By Scott on 10-22-22
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ACT Made Simple
- An Easy-to-Read Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
- By: Russ Harris, Steven C. Hayes PhD - foreword
- Narrated by: Hannibal Hills, Russ Harris
- Length: 18 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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If you're looking for ways to optimize your client sessions, consider joining the many thousands of therapists and life coaches worldwide who are learning acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). With a focus on mindfulness, client values, and a commitment to change, ACT is proven-effective in treating depression, anxiety, stress, addictions, eating disorders, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder (BPD), and myriad other psychological issues. It's also a revolutionary new way to view the human condition.
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Well narrated
- By rebecca cartwright on 10-06-23
By: Russ Harris, and others
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Declutter Your Home and Simplify Your Life
- By: Sophie Largen, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Sophie Largen
- Length: 1 hr and 17 mins
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Sophie Largen has made it her passion project to help motivate and encourage others by providing tips for efficient cleaning, organizing, and productivity. This practical guide will walk you through decluttering your spaces step by step. It will help you work through common pitfalls, and it will provide you with a plan for success for achieving a simplified—and more joyous—life.
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Not Realistic but It has Some Good Ideas
- By Gilbert M. Stack on 01-05-23
By: Sophie Largen, and others
What listeners say about The Confidence Gap
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- Steven
- 07-05-17
Changed my life, really.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) has changed my life, and this was the audiobook that introduced me to it. The practices of ACT have dug me out of several deep holes in my life already.
When I listened to this audiobook about a year ago, I had listened to a few audiobooks about confidence already, but this was the first one that made intuitive sense to me. I trusted the advice given, maybe because I have a background with practicing Buddhist meditation, so the mindfulness advice aligned with my beliefs.
Learning about "experiential avoidance" is what really changed my life, because I realized it was exactly what I was doing. This book helped me recognize my self-sabotaging patterns and change them.
In addition to this book, the other audiobook that really helped introduce me to ACT was "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" by Stephen C Hayes. I recommend that audiobook, too.
One of the best foundational pieces of advice from this book, which I will remember forever: "The actions of confidence come first, the feelings of confidence come later."
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100 people found this helpful
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- Susie
- 07-09-15
No Secrets Here
What's your favorite flavor of self-help? Not for me the magical thinking of "The Secret," or the faux-religiousity of "The Four Agreements." The constant vigil to think positive makes me run screaming, though if they help you, great.
Russ Harris is a guru for the pessimist set. Mindfulness without the affirmations. There's no magic here. But there are plenty of thought exercises to help you accept yourself and to make your best decisions, sitting with your anxieties and fear, but seeing past them.
Solid helpful advice along with Graeme Malcolm's effortless narration that makes you feel you're in safe hands. This is just my cup of tea.
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96 people found this helpful
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- Matt
- 04-16-15
Increadibly insightful, life changing!
Finally, the missing piece of the puzzle! So much different from the last book I listened to on confidence, this author has a deep understanding of the topic and doesn't give you the same old "be positive" and "believe in yourself" crap you've heard over and over again. I'm putting these strategies and new understanding to use in business and in my personal life immediately! Soooo thankful I came across this book, where have you been my whole adult life? The information I've gained on confidence, values, and fulfillment is priceless. Fantastic work!
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43 people found this helpful
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Counter intuitively brilliant.
I really enjoyed the book.
It was counterintuitive, and presented a lot of ideas that I've never heard before.
While the performance was not terribly exciting, I think the ideas have a lot of merit. This book is a contrast to a lot of self-help/motivation books.
I definitely recommend it. A worthwhile read.
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1 person found this helpful
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- sthiruv
- 08-07-18
Contrarian view
Gives you view as-is vs sugar coating. Makes it simpler to believe vs PMA books
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- Melissa
- 08-27-21
Great book!
Great book! Motivational but grounded in reality. Very helpful mental tools to use on a daily basis.
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- Daniel Dalhouse
- 09-09-21
Great audiobook with a few slips
I gave it 4 stars overall and in performance because there are chapters that are not complete, all of a sudden you notice how the chapter comes to an end without finishing the sentence/idea so that makes one feel like there's some information one is missing. Other than that, you'll have a lot of takeaways from this audiobook that are sincere and feel natural, not forced.
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- Molly
- 06-17-21
One of those books you should reread!
Outstanding book for self reflection and awareness. I’m using this strategy for myself and my employees.
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- JM1087
- 03-25-21
Great new perspective, outstanding tools
I’ve read and listened to a good amount of self-help books... but this one actually is different. There are several tools throughout this book which I’ve found very effective, mostly because of the perspective and reasoning associated with them. I think it’s essential to understand the concepts of why these tools work. They simply do and I’m happy I’ve listened to this book. Actions of confidence first, feelings of confidence comes later!
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- Burt Macklin
- 02-13-21
Great info
I loved this book. I wish I had read it back in my 20’s. I’ll be recommending this to my kids and friends!
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