
The Best Thing You Can Steal
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Narrated by:
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Gideon Emery
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By:
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Simon R. Green
About this listen
Welcome to London, but not as you know it. A place where magics and horror run free, wonders and miracles are everyday things, and the dark streets are full of very shadowy people....
Gideon Sable is a thief and a con man. He specializes in stealing the kind of things that can't normally be stolen. Like a ghost's clothes, or a photo from a country that never existed. He even stole his current identity. Who was he originally? Now, that would be telling. One thing's for sure though, he's not the bad guy. The people he steals from always have it coming.
Gideon's planning a heist, to steal the only thing that matters from the worst man in the world. To get past his security, he's going to need a crew who can do the impossible...but luckily, he has the right people in mind. The Damned, the Ghost, the Wild Card...and his ex-girlfriend, Annie Anybody. A woman who can be anyone, with the power to make technology fall in love with her. If things go well, they'll all get what they want. And if they're lucky, they might not even die trying.
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Story
Rupert didn't especially want to be a prince. And he certainly never asked to be the second son of a royal line that really didn't need a spare. So he was sent out to slay a dragon and prove himself — a quest straight out of legend. But he also discovered the kinds of things legends tend to leave out, as well as the usual demons, goblins, the dreaded Night Witch — and even worse terrors hidden in the shadows of Darkwood.
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Everything my teenage mind would have liked
- By Camron Witte on 12-08-22
By: Simon R. Green
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Spells, Salt, & Steel, Season 1
- By: Gail Z. Martin, Larry N. Martin
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 11 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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By day, Mark Wojcik can be found elbow-deep in engine grease, making cars and trucks safe for the highway. By night, he can be found traipsing through the wilds of Pennsylvania, making the world safe for humans. He's more than just a mechanic, he's a New Templar Knight. He travels the backroads and byways fighting weresquonks, ningen, selkies, ghosts, and . . . gnomes? Is that gnome . . . naked? (Sigh.) Season One collects the first four novellas in the Spells, Salt, & Steel series: Spells, Salt, & Steel; Open Season; Deep Trouble; and Close Encounters.
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Great fun; the Bubbaverse grows!
- By J.R. Snyder on 12-06-19
By: Gail Z. Martin, and others
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Jekyll & Hyde Inc.
- By: Simon R. Green
- Narrated by: Gildart Jackson
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Daniel Carter was a London cop who just wanted to do the right thing. But during a raid on an organ-selling chop shop, he is almost torn to pieces by monsters. And no one believes him. Hurt and crippled, his career over, and his life in ruins, Daniel is suddenly presented with a chance at redemption. And revenge. It seems that more than two centuries ago, the monsters of the world disappeared - into the underworld of crime. Guild-like clans now have control over all the dark and illegal trades.
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Love Gildart Jackson but...
- By Arria on 09-15-21
By: Simon R. Green
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Those Who Dwell in Darkness: A Vampire Thriller
- The Assembly, Book 1
- By: Steve McHugh
- Narrated by: John Banks
- Length: 13 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Vampires and humans live side by side thanks to an uneasy peace maintained by the Assembly. As an Arbiter for the powerful organization, Miles Watson is authorized to act as judge, jury, and executioner for anyone—living or undead—who breaks the law. But now Miles is up against a threat more sinister than anything he's seen in his centuries as a vampire. A criminal network in London is offering wealthy humans the chance to become vampires without the Assembly's consent. When the process goes disastrously wrong, the Boss wants to eliminate any trace of the fiasco.
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Great book, horrible narration.
- By Brian on 02-20-24
By: Steve McHugh
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Hot Lead, Cold Iron [Dramatized Adaptation]
- A Mick Oberon Job, Book 1
- By: Ari Marmell
- Narrated by: full cast, Eric Messner, Ren Kasey, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Original Recording
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Chicago, 1932. Mick Oberon may look like just another private detective, but beneath the fedora and the overcoat, he's got pointy ears and he's packing a wand.
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I have been looking for this for years.
- By David hay on 12-12-20
By: Ari Marmell
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The Lunar Cats
- By: Lynne Truss
- Narrated by: Mike Grady
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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When you are an inoffensive retired librarian with bitter personal experience of Evil Talking Cats, do you rescue a kitten from the cold on a December night? Do you follow up news items about cats digging in graveyards? Do you inquire into long-ago cats who voyaged around the world with Captain Cook? Well, yes. If you are Alec Charlesworth, that is precisely what you do - with unexpected and terrifying consequences.
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Puuuuuurfect!
- By Dawnde W. on 03-14-17
By: Lynne Truss
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Mistworld
- Twilight of the Empire, Book 1
- By: Simon R. Green
- Narrated by: Dan Calley
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Before Owen Deathstalker, there was the Twilight of the Empire . . . Mistworld. The day would come when it would be a key world in Owen Deathstalker's Rebellion. Now, it's as it's always been, a world on the edge of the Empire, a lawless one, shielded from the outside by powerful ESPers. A world where Leon Vertue can run his body bank, where a burglar like Cat has more to fear from other thieves than the Empress' justice, a world where Investigator Topaz is determined to make her mark.
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Unique World Setting
- By JJ Salerno on 03-06-25
By: Simon R. Green
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Grave Beginnings
- Grave Report, Book 1
- By: R.R. Virdi
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 9 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Another day, another hijacked body. And just 13 hours to solve a murder…Detective Vincent Graves has made a habit of dying. Waking up in someone else’s body isn’t pleasant, especially when it's inside a coffin with tons of dirt pressing down on it. Once he’s out, he learns his soul has 13 hours to find the borrowed body’s killer. With the help of a brilliant FBI agent, Vincent’s quest for clues leads to a looming supernatural presence. And escaping the dark threat may be impossible with his ever-ticking clock… Can Vincent close the case in time?
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Highly Recommend!
- By Superbeckeree on 09-10-20
By: R.R. Virdi
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Written in Dead Wax
- The Vinyl Detective, Book 1
- By: Andrew Cartmel
- Narrated by: Ben Allen
- Length: 13 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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He is a record collector and a connoisseur of vinyl, hunting out rare and elusive LPs. His business card describes him as the Vinyl Detective, and some people take this more literally than others. For example, the beautiful, mysterious woman who wants to pay him a large sum of money to find a priceless lost recording on behalf of an extremely wealthy yet shadowy client. And so begins a painful and dangerous odyssey in search of the rarest jazz record of them all....
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Outstanding narration!
- By John S. on 01-31-17
By: Andrew Cartmel
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Sandman Slim
- Sandman Slim, Book 1
- By: Richard Kadrey
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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When he was 19, James Stark was considered to be one of the greatest natural magicians, a reputation that got him demon-snatched and sent downtown - to Hell - where he survived as a gladiator, a sideshow freak entertaining Satan's fallen angels. That was 11 years ago. Now, the hitman who goes only by Stark has escaped and is back in L.A. Armed with a fortune-telling coin, a black bone knife, and an infernal key, Stark is determined to destroy the magic circle.
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jack bauer + spawn = sandman slim
- By Mike Naka on 11-03-12
By: Richard Kadrey
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For Love of Magic
- By: Simon R. Green
- Narrated by: Steve West
- Length: 9 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Once upon a time, there was a forgotten era of magic and monster. But the remnants—and all memory—of the old world have been replaced by the sane, the scientific, and the rational. But sometimes the magical past isn’t content to stay past. That’s where Jack Damian comes in. It’s his joy to protect our present from the supernatural remnants of an earlier time, a different history. It’s his job to make the past safe. Jack is called to the Tate Museum, where dozens of people have disappeared beneath the surface of a painting.
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Simon R Green is awesome
- By jakal3932 on 05-03-24
By: Simon R. Green
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Tales of the Nameless World: Volume 1
- By: Christopher G. Nuttall
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 16 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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The Nameless World is a place of magic and mystery, of kings and princes and magicians and merchants and rebels, fighting for supremacy or power or even just to carve out a place for themselves in a world of wonders and terrors, a world forever changed by a traveler from our world…
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many plot hole filled
- By John K. on 07-09-24
What listeners say about The Best Thing You Can Steal
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- Matt Sibert
- 02-24-22
Very good read. Well worth it.
Another imaginative and entertaining story by Simon R. Green. Like his Tales of the Nightside series, this dark fantasy is unique and very well written.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Eric Mort
- 12-10-22
Fun story!
As always, the narrator, Gideon Emery knocks it out of the park. It was a fun story, but not as good as the Nightside or Drood series. Wish it would have been a bit longer. It felt more like a novella than a novel.
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- Nancy E.
- 04-16-24
Amazing performance and story!
Engaging characters, a surprise ending, and a spectacular narration by Gideon Emery who delivered a different voice for each person with flair and aplomb. This story is as good as any of the Nightside stories though I began it with worries it wouldn't be as enjoyable. I'm going to continue this series.
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- Charles
- 07-26-21
Excellent!
A wonderful book! Perhaps a little short but that is fine. If you like the Night Side you will love this book! If you like Simon R. Green you will love this book! I hope this starts Mr. Green's new series.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Michael
- 09-11-24
Good Story, some flaws
All in all, this was another good story by Simon Green. A bit lighter than his Nightside series, but with a lot of the same good character creation, humor, and story (that ends with some slightly convenient good luck). My biggest issue was the Main Character's "Gideon Sable" identity. For someone who took on a new identity to hide himself/start a new life, it kind if defeats the purpose if 9 out of 10 characters introduced already know who he really is. But! it was still a fun listen and I look forward to the next one.
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- NoOneSpecial
- 12-12-21
Short listen but worth the credit
I’m a huge fan of Simon R Green so my expectations were high. The premise, the cast of characters, along with twist makes this a fav. I hope it’s the start of a series.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Lisa Ann Whistler-Smith
- 11-06-23
A fun story in the world of magic…
I enjoyed listening to this story and grew to like the “crew”! I am new to Simon R. Green books, but have gotten a bit hooked.
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- Beckett Family
- 02-04-24
So good I recommended to my husband
I really enjoyed this book! All the characters had special powers which they used throughout the tale. No sex, drugs or gang warfare. It is a thief who plans the impossible magical item heist in an impossible vault belonging to an evil man.
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- Random nonsense
- 01-23-25
I really liked Simon R. Green's other books but this is just sad.
If you like your book 90% exposition and the extra plodding this is the book for you. Super disappointed.
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- Erin Koepplinger
- 04-19-22
Just ok for me
I was really excited to listen to this book after reading the synopsis and reading the reviews but it didn't pan out for me. I kept catching that my attention has wandered and I would have missed large portions of a chapter, so I'd rewind and still miss it. The story never captured my attention. I finally quit about halfway through because I couldn't keep track of the story. Was it a bad book? No. Was the narrator bad? Also no. It just wasn't for me.
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1 person found this helpful