
Surviving
Why We Stay and How We Leave Abusive Relationships
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $19.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Beverly Gooden
-
By:
-
Beverly Gooden
About this listen
A revealing look at why domestic violence victims stay with their abusers...and how they can ultimately leave. And survive.
One Saturday morning, Gooden is woken up by her husband shoving her off the bed for no discernible reason.
Despite her quick thinking and even quicker footsteps, her husband catches her, his sudden anger inexplicable. No words are exchanged. He begins to strangle her as he has done many times before.
With unflinching vulnerability, Gooden outlines in painstaking detail what she had to do to walk away and how others can use her experiences to escape their own abuse, from skimming the grocery money, to squirreling away personal belongings, to navigating a domestic violence shelter. She offers strategies for overcoming the barriers survivors often face, such as money, housing, overcritical social circles, or, most powerfully: love. Uniquely compassionate when it comes to the heartbreak of still loving one’s abuser, Gooden shares how she transformed and extended this love outward, using her story to encourage others to choose themselves. The voice and fire behind #WhyIStayed, Bev Gooden is exceptionally positioned to explore the many reasons victims stay in abusive relationships, and how they can muster the resources and motivation to leave.
Surviving is unlike any memoir of survivorship, given its nuance, compassion, and candor. Above all, it is an exquisitely powerful testament to Gooden’s healing, survivorship, and dedication to helping others do the same.
©2021 The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc. (P)2022 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
-
See What You Made Me Do
- The Dangers of Domestic Abuse That We Ignore, Explain Away, or Refuse to See
- By: Jess Hill
- Narrated by: Larissa Gallagher
- Length: 18 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Statistics tell us something that's almost impossible to grapple with: it's not the stranger in the dark women should fear, but the men they fall in love with. See What You Made Me Do is not only a searing investigation, but also a dissection of how that violence can be enabled and reinforced by the judicial system we trust to protect us. It carefully dismantles the flawed logic of victim-blaming and challenges everything you thought you knew about psychological abuse and emotional abuse relationships, while shining a spotlight on domestic violence awareness and abuse awareness.
-
-
Great for all to read
- By charjones on 03-27-25
By: Jess Hill
-
Why Does He Do That?
- Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men---and to change your life. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men shows you how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship.
-
-
I needed this.
- By james p weiss on 09-07-17
By: Lundy Bancroft
-
No Visible Bruises
- What We Don't Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us
- By: Rachel Louise Snyder
- Narrated by: Rachel Louise Snyder
- Length: 12 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We call it domestic violence. We call it private violence. Sometimes we call it intimate terrorism. But whatever we call it, we generally do not believe it has anything at all to do with us, despite the World Health Organization deeming it a 'global epidemic'. In No Visible Bruises, journalist Rachel Louise Snyder gives context for what we don't know we're seeing. She frames this urgent and immersive account of the scale of domestic violence in our country around key stories that explode the common myths....
-
-
Not yet ready
- By Alyssa E. on 05-17-19
-
Trauma and Recovery
- The Aftermath of Violence - from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
- By: Judith Lewis Herman MD
- Narrated by: Alison Mathews, Xe Sands
- Length: 12 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Trauma and Recovery is revered as the seminal text on understanding trauma survivors. By placing individual experience in a broader political frame, Harvard psychiatrist Judith Herman argues that psychological trauma is inseparable from its social and political context. Drawing on her own research on incest, as well as a vast literature on combat veterans and victims of political terror, she shows surprising parallels between private horrors like child abuse and public horrors like war.
-
-
Answers to many "why" questions.
- By Bruja on 06-21-22
-
The Body Keeps the Score
- Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
- By: Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 16 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent more than three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.
-
-
Overall Worthwhile, Lingers Too Long in the Why
- By LittleBeadsOfMercury on 04-07-21
-
Trauma Bonding: Understanding and Overcoming the Trauma Bond in a Narcissistic Relationship
- Narcissistic Relationship Recovery, Book 1
- By: Lauren Kozlowski
- Narrated by: Stephanie Murphy
- Length: 1 hr and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
If you're constantly feeling on edge, forever working to appease your spouse to little avail and feel like you're constantly being chipped away at with their abusive behavior, then I can understand how emotionally shattering it feels to live this way. If, in the same breath, it breaks your heart to even consider leaving them because you can't imagine life without them, then I can understand that feeling too - because I was trauma bonded to my abusive ex.
-
-
Not relevant for everyone dealing with trauma bonding
- By Alesia Braund on 11-18-20
By: Lauren Kozlowski
-
See What You Made Me Do
- The Dangers of Domestic Abuse That We Ignore, Explain Away, or Refuse to See
- By: Jess Hill
- Narrated by: Larissa Gallagher
- Length: 18 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Statistics tell us something that's almost impossible to grapple with: it's not the stranger in the dark women should fear, but the men they fall in love with. See What You Made Me Do is not only a searing investigation, but also a dissection of how that violence can be enabled and reinforced by the judicial system we trust to protect us. It carefully dismantles the flawed logic of victim-blaming and challenges everything you thought you knew about psychological abuse and emotional abuse relationships, while shining a spotlight on domestic violence awareness and abuse awareness.
-
-
Great for all to read
- By charjones on 03-27-25
By: Jess Hill
-
Why Does He Do That?
- Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men---and to change your life. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men shows you how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship.
-
-
I needed this.
- By james p weiss on 09-07-17
By: Lundy Bancroft
-
No Visible Bruises
- What We Don't Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us
- By: Rachel Louise Snyder
- Narrated by: Rachel Louise Snyder
- Length: 12 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We call it domestic violence. We call it private violence. Sometimes we call it intimate terrorism. But whatever we call it, we generally do not believe it has anything at all to do with us, despite the World Health Organization deeming it a 'global epidemic'. In No Visible Bruises, journalist Rachel Louise Snyder gives context for what we don't know we're seeing. She frames this urgent and immersive account of the scale of domestic violence in our country around key stories that explode the common myths....
-
-
Not yet ready
- By Alyssa E. on 05-17-19
-
Trauma and Recovery
- The Aftermath of Violence - from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
- By: Judith Lewis Herman MD
- Narrated by: Alison Mathews, Xe Sands
- Length: 12 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Trauma and Recovery is revered as the seminal text on understanding trauma survivors. By placing individual experience in a broader political frame, Harvard psychiatrist Judith Herman argues that psychological trauma is inseparable from its social and political context. Drawing on her own research on incest, as well as a vast literature on combat veterans and victims of political terror, she shows surprising parallels between private horrors like child abuse and public horrors like war.
-
-
Answers to many "why" questions.
- By Bruja on 06-21-22
-
The Body Keeps the Score
- Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
- By: Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 16 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent more than three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.
-
-
Overall Worthwhile, Lingers Too Long in the Why
- By LittleBeadsOfMercury on 04-07-21
-
Trauma Bonding: Understanding and Overcoming the Trauma Bond in a Narcissistic Relationship
- Narcissistic Relationship Recovery, Book 1
- By: Lauren Kozlowski
- Narrated by: Stephanie Murphy
- Length: 1 hr and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
If you're constantly feeling on edge, forever working to appease your spouse to little avail and feel like you're constantly being chipped away at with their abusive behavior, then I can understand how emotionally shattering it feels to live this way. If, in the same breath, it breaks your heart to even consider leaving them because you can't imagine life without them, then I can understand that feeling too - because I was trauma bonded to my abusive ex.
-
-
Not relevant for everyone dealing with trauma bonding
- By Alesia Braund on 11-18-20
By: Lauren Kozlowski
-
When Dad Hurts Mom
- Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it's physical or "just" emotional abuse, whether it's aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.
-
-
Great information. Not the best narrator.
- By RT on 06-28-19
By: Lundy Bancroft
-
Out of the Fog
- Moving from Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse
- By: Dana Morningstar
- Narrated by: Dana Morningstar
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The FOG is an acronym that stands for "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt". These three emotions are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling others.
-
-
THE best book I’ve ever read on the subject
- By Alexandria Filipowski on 10-23-19
By: Dana Morningstar
-
Dilla Time
- The Life and Afterlife of J Dilla, the Hip-Hop Producer Who Reinvented Rhythm
- By: Dan Charnas, Jeff Peretz - contributor
- Narrated by: Dan Charnas
- Length: 14 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
He wasn’t known to mainstream audiences, even though he worked with renowned acts like D’Angelo and Erykah Badu and influenced the music of superstars like Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson. He died at the age of 32, and in his lifetime he never had a pop hit. Yet since his death, J Dilla has become a demigod: revered by jazz musicians and rap icons from Robert Glasper to Kendrick Lamar; memorialized in symphonies and taught at universities.
-
-
Only a few chapters in <3
- By Chris Johnson on 02-05-22
By: Dan Charnas, and others
-
When Love Is a Lie
- Narcissistic Partners & the Pathological Relationship Agenda
- By: Zari L Ballard
- Narrated by: Lisa Bunting
- Length: 4 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When our partner is a narcissist, only those who've actually experienced the madness will ever understand what we're going through. When Love Is a Lie is a straight-up, tell-all book about narcissism in relationships that skips the clinical bullshit to focus solely on the personal experience. A narrative that holds nothing back, Zari Ballard's story will educate, enlighten, and empower you to evaluate (and fully understand) the mind-boggling dysfunction in your own relationship.
-
-
Greatfull to have found this!
- By Joy on 03-13-17
By: Zari L Ballard
-
Rising Strong
- How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
- By: Brené Brown
- Narrated by: Brené Brown
- Length: 8 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Social scientist Brené Brown has ignited a global conversation on courage, vulnerability, shame, and worthiness. Her pioneering work uncovered a profound truth: Vulnerability—the willingness to show up and be seen with no guarantee of outcome—is the only path to more love, belonging, creativity, and joy. But living a brave life is not always easy: We are, inevitably, going to stumble and fall.
-
-
A Gem, But Not Her Best
- By Gillian on 08-26-15
By: Brené Brown
-
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
-
-
It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
-
Marriage Be Hard
- 12 Conversations to Keep You Laughing, Loving, and Learning with Your Partner
- By: Kevin Fredericks, Melissa Fredericks
- Narrated by: Kevin Fredericks, Melissa Fredericks
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Growing up in the church, Kevin and Melissa Fredericks were taught endless rules and expectations around dating, sex, and marriage, but not a lot about what actually makes a relationship work. There were conversations that they didn’t know they needed to have, deep-rooted fears that affected how they communicated, and seasons of change that put their marriage to the test.
-
-
Vulnerability Matters
- By A on 09-19-22
By: Kevin Fredericks, and others
-
Own Your Past Change Your Future
- A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness
- By: Dr. John Delony
- Narrated by: Dr. John Delony
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. Your thoughts and actions will be challenged. And if you take the steps John outlines, you’ll learn how to leave the past where it belongs and get on the path to healing.
-
-
I love Dr. John Delony but...
- By Stef on 05-12-22
By: Dr. John Delony
-
Peace from Broken Pieces
- How to Get Through What You're Going Through
- By: Iyanla Vanzant
- Narrated by: Iyanla Vanzant
- Length: 11 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
New York Times best-selling author Iyanla Vanzant recounts the last decade of her life and the spiritual lessons learned—from the price of success during her meteoric rise as a TV celebrity on Oprah, the Iyanla TV show (produced by Barbara Walters), to the dissolution of her marriage and her daughter's 15 months of illness and death on Christmas day.
-
-
Iyanla is Inspirational! A GREAT LISTEN!!!
- By Theresa on 12-04-11
By: Iyanla Vanzant
-
Tiny Beautiful Things (10th Anniversary Edition)
- Advice from Dear Sugar
- By: Cheryl Strayed
- Narrated by: Cheryl Strayed, Steve Almond - introduction
- Length: 10 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tiny Beautiful Things collects the best of Dear Sugar in one volume, bringing her wisdom to many more readers. This tenth-anniversary edition features six new columns and a new preface by Strayed. Rich with humor, insight, compassion—and absolute honesty—this book is a balm for everything life throws our way.
-
-
A Spoonful of Sugar
- By Mel on 08-15-12
By: Cheryl Strayed
-
In The Meantime
- Finding Yourself and the Love You Want
- By: Iyanla Vanzant
- Narrated by: Iyanla Vanzant
- Length: 2 hrs and 17 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What is the meantime? According to author and inspirational speaker Iyanla Vanzant, being in the "meantime" means being in a state of limbo. Rather than wallow in confusion, Vanzant encourages you to use the meantime to prepare yourself for true love. The first order of business is to clean house. Room by room, Vanzant takes you through a metaphorical cleaning of the soul. This way, when love finally comes knocking on the front door, you'll have a clean house to welcome it into.
-
-
excellent!
- By Jenese L Jones on 07-13-16
By: Iyanla Vanzant
-
Find Your People
- Building Deep Community in a Lonely World
- By: Jennie Allen
- Narrated by: Jennie Allen
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a world that's both more connected and more isolating than ever before, we’re often tempted to do life alone, whether because we’re so busy or because relationships feel risky and hard. But science confirms that consistent, meaningful connection with others has a powerful impact on our well-being. We are meant to live known and loved. But so many are hiding behind emotional walls that we’re experiencing an epidemic of loneliness. In Find Your People, you’ll discover exactly how to dive into the deep end and experience the full wonder of community.
-
-
Christian
- By E. Wood on 04-08-22
By: Jennie Allen
What listeners say about Surviving
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- n.o.
- 07-23-22
Excellent Healing Guide
From beginning to end, this book is a riveting invitation to living well and loving yourself through every experience. I’ve returned to its pages many times over. Highly recommend!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!