
It's Not Me, It's You
Break the Blame Cycle. Relationship Better.
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Narrated by:
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John Kim
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Vanessa Bennett
About this listen
Two therapists analyze their own relationship to help untangle the common and frustrating barriers many individuals face on the road to a happy, loving, rewarding partnership.
Many of the clients who end up in our respective therapist offices thought they were doing relationships right—avoiding the white picket fence, focusing on careers and experiences over babies and legally-binding documents, choosing someone after they “found themselves” first. However, like clockwork, around their early to mid-thirties, these clients show up at our door. Why? For the first time, they realize that they dislike their relationship and are frustrated by their partner but know that another break-up won’t fix things. They recognize a pattern of relationship misery that has them finally looking in the mirror asking, how do you make a relationship last?
It took us many relationships, our own inner self journey (which we’re still on), therapy, therapy school, and helping thousands of people with their relationships, to learn to have better ones ourselves. Vanessa woke up at 31, after ending an engagement and moving to Los Angeles. John thought he woke up at 35 after his divorce. But he didn’t truly wake up until he was pushing 40.
In It’s Not Me, It’s You, John and Vanessa dissect their own relationship to help readers figure out theirs: what their relationships were like in the past, what traumas they carried into the new relationship, and how they work on growing together to foster a healthy and long-term bond.
The surprising truth is falling in love is more about you than your partner. It’s more about challenge and growth than comfort and ease, and roots don’t grow from wishful thinking—they grow in the soil of communication, curiosity, patience, and understanding.
It’s Not Me, It’s You is for anyone looking for real advice on relationships that takes both sides into account and discusses relationships with the honesty and clarity we all need.
Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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- By annonymous on 07-22-18
By: Mira Kirshenbaum
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Insecure in Love
- How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It
- By: Leslie Becker-Phelps PhD
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In Insecure in Love, you'll learn how to overcome attachment anxiety using compassionate self-awareness, a technique that can help you recognize your negative thoughts or unhealthy behavior patterns and respond to them in a nurturing way - rather than beating yourself up. You'll also learn how insecurity can negatively affect healthy dialog between you and your partner (or potential partners) and develop the skills needed to stop you from reverting back to old patterns of neediness and possessiveness.
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attachment theory
- By erika on 02-08-16
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The Power of Voice
- A Guide to Making Yourself Heard
- By: Denise Woods
- Narrated by: Denise Woods, JD Jackson
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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From a toddler's first words to professional public speaking, from a marriage proposal to asking for a raise, our voice is our most crucial instrument of expression. The world judges us by our voice. And yet there has been no authoritative guide to mastering its full capacity and expressing our true selves in every aspect of life, from relationships and family to work. Until now.
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An autobiography, not a useful guidebook.
- By Anonymouse on 10-08-21
By: Denise Woods
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Embracing Our Selves
- The Voice Dialogue Manual
- By: Hal Stone PhD, Sidra Stone PhD
- Narrated by: Bridgit Dengel Gaspard
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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This highly acclaimed, groundbreaking work describes the Psychology of Selves and the Voice Dialogue method. Internationally renowned psychologists Hal and Sidra Stone introduce the listener to the Pusher, Critic, Protector/Controller, and all the other members of your inner family. They have refined the process to the point where voice dialogue is considered one of the most effective techniques in psychology today.
By: Hal Stone PhD, and others
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Messages
- The Communications Skills Book
- By: Matthew McKay PhD, Martha Davis PhD, Patrick Fanning
- Narrated by: Melinda Wade
- Length: 10 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Many people assume that good communicators possess an intrinsic talent for speaking and listening. The reality is that communication skills are developed with deliberate effort and practice, and learning to understand others and communicate your ideas more clearly will improve every facet of your life. Messages has already helped thousands of people build communication skills and cultivate better relationships. With this fully revised and updated fourth edition, you’ll discover new skills to help you communicate your ideas more effectively and become a better listener.
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interesting
- By Physalia on 01-24-20
By: Matthew McKay PhD, and others
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Loving You Is Hurting Me
- A New Approach to Healing Trauma Bonds and Creating Authentic Connection
- By: Laura Copley
- Narrated by: Laura Copley, Donna Jay Fulks
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Too often, survivors of trauma are left feeling hopeless, exiled from normal social interactions, and destined for heartbreak in any relationship they attract. Through her work with clients, and her own experiences, Dr. Copley developed a roadmap for healing the toxic emotions that come from being bonded by trauma in relationships. In Loving You is Hurting Me, Dr. Copley guides you through your trauma origins and into a life rich with meaning, loving connection, and inspiration.
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Easy to grasp & actually interesting
- By Bryanna Sniadecki on 11-30-23
By: Laura Copley
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The Break Up Manual for Men
- Recover From a Serious Breakup, Become Stronger and Get Your Ex Back (If You Want)
- By: Andrew Ferebee
- Narrated by: Andrew Ferebee
- Length: 5 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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End the agonizing pain of a breakup, reclaim lost masculine power and self-confidence, and discover the secrets of how to get over a breakup faster and use it as a launchpad to reinvent your life, attract higher quality women, and pursue your dreams.
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Meh, it's ok...
- By Ernie on 12-04-16
By: Andrew Ferebee
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The Kickass Single Mom
- Be Financially Independent, Discover Your Sexiest Self, and Raise Fabulous, Happy Children
- By: Emma Johnson
- Narrated by: Emma Johnson
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Emma Johnson's marriage ended, she found herself broke, pregnant, and alone with a toddler. Searching for the advice she needed to navigate her new life as a single professional woman and parent, she discovered there was very little sage wisdom available. In response, Johnson launched the popular blog Wealthysinglemommy.com to speak to other women who, like herself, wanted to not just survive but thrive as single moms.
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Unrelatable
- By Anonymous User on 05-26-19
By: Emma Johnson
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Psychopath Free: Expanded Edition
- Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Narcissists, Sociopaths & Other Toxic People
- By: Jackson MacKenzie
- Narrated by: Shaun Grindell
- Length: 7 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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The psychopath carefully selects the most indifferent and heartbreaking way imaginable to abandon you. They destroy you as a way to reassure themselves. Psychopath Free will help you out of the darkness so that you can begin making better choices that will forever alter the course of your life. So say farewell to love triangles, cryptic letters, self-doubt, and manufactured anxiety. You are no longer a pawn in the mind games of a psychopath. You are free.
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Be kind to yourself and read this book.
- By GoodMonster on 09-19-15
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Whole Again
- Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse
- By: Jackson MacKenzie, Shannon Thomas - foreword
- Narrated by: Kaleo Griffith, Erin Spencer
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Jackson MacKenzie has helped millions of people in their struggle to understand the experience of toxic relationships. His first book, Psychopath Free, explained how to identify and survive the immediate situation. In this highly anticipated new audiobook, he guides listeners on what to do next - how to fully heal from abuse in order to find love and acceptance for the self and others. MacKenzie shares insights and tools for working through the protective self we've developed so that we can finally move on to live a full and authentic life.
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Good content, but to much repeat
- By Adri on 03-23-19
By: Jackson MacKenzie, and others
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Facing Love Addiction
- Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love
- By: Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller, Keith J. Miller
- Narrated by: Nathan McMillan
- Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Through 12-step work, exercises, and journal-keeping, Facing Love Addiction compassionately and realistically outlines the recovery process for love addicts. Mellody’s fresh perspective and clear methods work to comfort and motivate all those looking to establish and maintain healthy, happy relationships.
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The only book you will ever need on love addiction!
- By Becky on 07-12-20
By: Pia Mellody, and others
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Permission to Feel
- The Power of Emotional Intelligence to Achieve Well-Being and Success
- By: Marc Brackett Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Marc Brackett Ph.D.
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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This program is read by the author.
Marc Brackett is a professor in Yale University’s Child Study Center and founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. In his 25 years as an “emotion scientist”, he has developed a remarkably effective plan to improve the lives of children and adults - a blueprint for understanding our emotions and using them wisely so that they help, rather than hinder, our success and well-being. The core of his approach is a legacy from his childhood, from an astute uncle who gave him permission to feel.
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Learn to Read
- By Stonerchick on 04-19-20
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Keep Calm and Cut Him Off
- 13 Reasons to "Go Silent" on Guys Who Reject or Break Up with You
- By: Bruce Bryans
- Narrated by: Mike Norgaard
- Length: 1 hr and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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A guy who rejects or breaks up with you should no longer exist in your life. Contacting him or allowing him to stay in touch with you will make you work harder and harder to convince him that you’re worth his love and attention, and it will compel you to play that ugly and unwinnable game called Chase-a-Man. The best way to avoid this ugly game and break his spell over you is to cut the guy off (cease all communications and interactions) for a set period of time, or in some cases, keep him cut off out of your life indefinitely.
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My review
- By selestina sarinas on 12-29-22
By: Bruce Bryans
Life changing!
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Clarity!
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Best book to listen to to expand your view on a relationship
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Hmm
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Another Successful Book!
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Will read again!
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I wish there had been more resources for discerning emotional abuse, the confusion it creates and safe steps to take to own my codependency while not exposing myself unnecessarily to an unsafe person.
I feel the need to buy the hard copy version of the book to review it and to journal my responses to questions. And there was mention of a breakout box on codependent types that I think I missed in the audio version.
I has sworn off relationship books b/c I think I’ve tried everything, but this book actually fired me up to take a deeper look at my tendencies for the personal benefit it will bring me as well as to fulfill my obligation to my current and future relationships.
Best relationship & codependency book I’ve read in a long time
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Straightforward
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Also love the reflection questions.
Incredible!
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Therapeutic, punn intended
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