Calling In Audiobook By Loretta J. Ross cover art

Calling In

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Calling In

By: Loretta J. Ross
Narrated by: Loretta J. Ross
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About this listen

From a pioneering Black feminist and MacArthur “Genius” Fellow, an urgent and exhilarating memoir-manifesto-handbook about how to rein in the excesses of cancel culture so we can truly communicate and solve problems together.

In 1979, Loretta Ross was a single mother who’d had to drop out of Howard University. She was working at Washington, DC’s Rape Crisis Center when she got a letter from a man in prison saying he wanted to learn how to not be a rapist anymore. At first, she was furious. As a survivor of sexual violence, she wanted to write back pouring out her rage. But instead, she made a different choice, a choice to reject the response her trauma was pushing her towards, a choice that set her on the path towards developing a philosophy that would come to guide her whole career: rather than calling people out, try to call even your unlikeliest allies in. Hold them accountable—but do so with love.

Calling In is at once a handbook, a manifesto, and a memoir—because the power of Loretta Ross’s message comes from who she is and what she’s lived through. She’s a Black woman who’s deprogrammed white supremacists, a survivor who’s taught convicted rapists the principles of feminism. With stories from her five remarkable decades in activism, she vividly illustrates why calling people in—inviting them into conversation instead of conflict by focusing on your shared values over a desire for punishment—is the more strategic choice if you want to make real change. And she shows you how to do so, whether in the workplace, on a college campus, or in your living room.

Courageous, awe-inspiring, and blisteringly authentic, Calling In is a practical new solution from one of our country’s most extraordinary change-makers—one anyone can learn to use to transform frustrating and divisive conflicts that stand in the way of real connection with the people in your life.

©2025 Loretta Ross (P)2025 Simon & Schuster Audio
Activists Communication & Social Skills Personal Development Politics & Activism Discrimination Social justice

Critic reviews

“A master class in constructive confrontation—and Loretta J. Ross is the ideal teacher, with profound insights about how to get through to others and maintain your own dignity along the way.”
—Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and host of the podcast Re:Thinking

“A survival guide for American progressives. If you are on the left and want to make lasting change in our world (and sleep better at night), please read this book. Loretta Ross doesn't just ‘take’ the high road; she rappels her way up a sheer rock face to get there, owning her mistakes all along the way. Then she helps bring a series of rapists and former KKK members along with her. (Yes, really!)”
—Amanda Ripley, New York Times bestselling author of High Conflict
"A rich and compelling narrative. Courageous, practi­cal and ultimately, very hopeful."
—BookPage (Starred Review)
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Loretta Ross is an inspiration. This book is enjoyable and educational. I appreciate the balance of story telling and actionable tools.

Heartfelt, Brave, and Useful

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This was great. So much of it deeply resonated with me. Even though I’m not a Twitter warrior leading the charge on cancel culture and calling people out, it gave a lot of great tips for handling interpersonal conflicts.

Helpful and aspirational

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L ROSS harnesses her profound and painful life experience to gift us this wisdom.

must read

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