
Alien Abduction for Beginners
The Intergalactic Guide to Humans
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $6.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Bridget Bordeaux
-
Jake Bordeaux
-
By:
-
Skye MacKinnon
About this listen
Not all aliens are good at abducting humans.
Havel, Matar and Xil have failed too many times to count. Luckily, there’s help available for failed kidnappers: a diploma offered by the Intergalactic University. To complete their course, these three sexy aliens need to abduct a human female - and they’re graded on it.
The problem is, the human female has no intentions of being abducted, not even to help them get the universe’s most recognised abduction qualification.
A hilarious sci-fi reverse harem with clueless aliens and the human woman they’re trying to seduce (and probe). Beware, these aliens have fangs and tails and are ready to put them to good use.
©2020 Skye MacKinnon (P)2021 Skye MacKinnonListeners also enjoyed...
-
Klutz: Phoenix Down
- But Did You Die?, Book 1
- By: Sedona Ashe
- Narrated by: Bridget Bordeaux, Jake Bordeaux
- Length: 5 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After my plane was sabotaged and crashed into the jungle, I rescued five male survivors from the wreckage. I could have let them die, but no, I decided to pull their stupid carcasses from the wreckage. I’m immortal, not a monster. Yes, they’re hot; now is not the time to do something about that. The five sexy jaguar-shifters are on a mission to locate someone, a rare phoenix-shifter. Phoenix, the legendary creature, reborn every time it dies. Wait…could they be looking for me? It doesn’t matter since they walked away and left me to die in the Amazon rainforest.
-
-
Not what I was expecting.
- By Amazon Customer on 07-12-22
By: Sedona Ashe
-
Lilac
- By: B.B. Reid
- Narrated by: Jason Clarke, Teddy Hamilton, J.F. Harding, and others
- Length: 18 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I, Braxton Fawn, am the luckiest girl alive. Or so the world keeps telling me. Every so often, gods walk the earth. This time they came as musicians. When Bound loses its lead guitarist, yours truly is chosen to fill his shoes. From dive bars to the big stage, my instant claim to fame is nothing short of a fairytale. The only problem? My new bandmates. Jaded, gorgeous, and ridiculously talented—they're determined to turn my dream into a nightmare.
-
-
Ummmm?
- By Frances on 04-29-22
By: B.B. Reid
-
Lethal
- By: Cassandra Robbins
- Narrated by: Troy Duran, Devon Grace
- Length: 11 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Like currency, I’ve become part of a transaction. Blade took me to pay off a debt. I try to tell myself, Eve, you should hate him. He’s a bad guy. But then again, I’m not a good girl. Blade’s the president of the Disciples, the notorious motorcycle club. I should be frightened, yet somehow, he doesn’t scare me. If anything, I think I scare him.
-
-
TUT-TUTS, TEMPERS & TEASES AS A BADASS BIKER BENDS
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 12-01-20
-
Dinosaurs, Disasters and Albert Einswine
- Dino Magic, Book 1
- By: Sedona Ashe
- Narrated by: Bridget Bordeaux, Jake Bordeaux
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I have huge man problems—literally—since one of my mates is a T-Rex. Things are about to get interesting, because my day job happens to be in a museum, a museum full of dinosaur bones, if you know what I mean. It turns out my bloodline is older than dirt, and an ancestral matchmaker decided to send me some gifts…aka, men. And not just any men, but dinosaur shifters from the past.
-
-
This Story Could Have Been So Much Better
- By DB on 12-15-24
By: Sedona Ashe
-
Riv's Sanctuary
- Riv's Sanctuary Series, Book 1
- By: A.G. Wilde
- Narrated by: Hollie Jackson
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Abducted from Earth over a year ago, Lauren spent most of that time getting accustomed to her new life as one of the "animals" in an alien zoo. When she's sold by the zookeeper, her life takes a turn she wasn't expecting. She has no idea where she'll end up 'til she's brought to a sanctuary owned by a tall blue hunk of an alien called Riv.
-
-
If you love grumpy heroes...
- By A.B.C. on 02-06-22
By: A.G. Wilde
-
Kirenai Fated Mates
- Intergalactic Dating Agency
- By: Tamsin Ley
- Narrated by: Stephen Borne
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An alien prince needs to produce an heir, and human females are supposed to be pliant and fertile. So he heads to Earth to buy one. But when his perfect match not only refuses to be owned, but also claims to be barren, Arazhi must choose. Will he follow his heart, or fulfill his duty?
-
-
Creative & Satisfying
- By K. Culver on 04-20-25
By: Tamsin Ley
-
Klutz: Phoenix Down
- But Did You Die?, Book 1
- By: Sedona Ashe
- Narrated by: Bridget Bordeaux, Jake Bordeaux
- Length: 5 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After my plane was sabotaged and crashed into the jungle, I rescued five male survivors from the wreckage. I could have let them die, but no, I decided to pull their stupid carcasses from the wreckage. I’m immortal, not a monster. Yes, they’re hot; now is not the time to do something about that. The five sexy jaguar-shifters are on a mission to locate someone, a rare phoenix-shifter. Phoenix, the legendary creature, reborn every time it dies. Wait…could they be looking for me? It doesn’t matter since they walked away and left me to die in the Amazon rainforest.
-
-
Not what I was expecting.
- By Amazon Customer on 07-12-22
By: Sedona Ashe
-
Lilac
- By: B.B. Reid
- Narrated by: Jason Clarke, Teddy Hamilton, J.F. Harding, and others
- Length: 18 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I, Braxton Fawn, am the luckiest girl alive. Or so the world keeps telling me. Every so often, gods walk the earth. This time they came as musicians. When Bound loses its lead guitarist, yours truly is chosen to fill his shoes. From dive bars to the big stage, my instant claim to fame is nothing short of a fairytale. The only problem? My new bandmates. Jaded, gorgeous, and ridiculously talented—they're determined to turn my dream into a nightmare.
-
-
Ummmm?
- By Frances on 04-29-22
By: B.B. Reid
-
Lethal
- By: Cassandra Robbins
- Narrated by: Troy Duran, Devon Grace
- Length: 11 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Like currency, I’ve become part of a transaction. Blade took me to pay off a debt. I try to tell myself, Eve, you should hate him. He’s a bad guy. But then again, I’m not a good girl. Blade’s the president of the Disciples, the notorious motorcycle club. I should be frightened, yet somehow, he doesn’t scare me. If anything, I think I scare him.
-
-
TUT-TUTS, TEMPERS & TEASES AS A BADASS BIKER BENDS
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 12-01-20
-
Dinosaurs, Disasters and Albert Einswine
- Dino Magic, Book 1
- By: Sedona Ashe
- Narrated by: Bridget Bordeaux, Jake Bordeaux
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I have huge man problems—literally—since one of my mates is a T-Rex. Things are about to get interesting, because my day job happens to be in a museum, a museum full of dinosaur bones, if you know what I mean. It turns out my bloodline is older than dirt, and an ancestral matchmaker decided to send me some gifts…aka, men. And not just any men, but dinosaur shifters from the past.
-
-
This Story Could Have Been So Much Better
- By DB on 12-15-24
By: Sedona Ashe
-
Riv's Sanctuary
- Riv's Sanctuary Series, Book 1
- By: A.G. Wilde
- Narrated by: Hollie Jackson
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Abducted from Earth over a year ago, Lauren spent most of that time getting accustomed to her new life as one of the "animals" in an alien zoo. When she's sold by the zookeeper, her life takes a turn she wasn't expecting. She has no idea where she'll end up 'til she's brought to a sanctuary owned by a tall blue hunk of an alien called Riv.
-
-
If you love grumpy heroes...
- By A.B.C. on 02-06-22
By: A.G. Wilde
-
Kirenai Fated Mates
- Intergalactic Dating Agency
- By: Tamsin Ley
- Narrated by: Stephen Borne
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An alien prince needs to produce an heir, and human females are supposed to be pliant and fertile. So he heads to Earth to buy one. But when his perfect match not only refuses to be owned, but also claims to be barren, Arazhi must choose. Will he follow his heart, or fulfill his duty?
-
-
Creative & Satisfying
- By K. Culver on 04-20-25
By: Tamsin Ley
-
Marked for Rage
- Crashed and Claimed, Book 1
- By: Susan Hayes
- Narrated by: Tieran Wilder
- Length: 1 hr and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
All Mercy had to do was deliver her cargo and go. Now she’s got a bunch of irate aliens on her tail, and a hot-as-Helios escaped prisoner in her cargo bay who insists she is his. She’s too old for this, and she keeps telling herself she’s too old for him. But his arguments and assets are very convincing.
-
-
Love start of series.
- By Melody P. on 09-23-23
By: Susan Hayes
-
Assigned a Mate
- Interstellar Brides, Book 1
- By: Grace Goodwin
- Narrated by: BJ Pottsworth, Audrey Conway
- Length: 4 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When a potential threat against her life forces Eva Daily to seek shelter on another world, she has only one option available to her. She must offer herself to the Interstellar Bride Program. After a deeply humiliating assessment of her suitability, Eva will be assigned a mate and transported to his world to become his bride. Upon arriving on the desert planet Trion, Eva soon learns that things are quite different than she is used to on Earth.
-
-
No Longer Earthbound!
- By Diana Fitzgerald on 04-12-17
By: Grace Goodwin
-
Mistaken
- Mistaken Series, Book 1
- By: Pixie Unger
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 6 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hordes of tall, grey aliens with tusks arrived in spaceships the size of cities. Before the news channels went dark, humans named the creatures orcs. The human armies fought and failed. War crimes were committed on both sides. Eventually, when food supplies failed, society collapsed and the government was overthrown. Humans turned on each other. Nowhere was safe. The orcs rounded up the survivors and locked them away in refugee camps. In the fullness of time, some women had little grey babies.
-
-
Okay read, completely awkward intimacy
- By Lawanda G. on 02-28-21
By: Pixie Unger
-
Bears in Mind
- Ursa Shifters, Book 1
- By: Sam Hall
- Narrated by: Sofia Lette, Dorje Swallow
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
My ex-husband broke my heart by asking for an open marriage. Then I found out he had already been sleeping with someone else. So I dumped his butt and moved out. In the process, I found myself in the arms of four smoking-hot strangers. They pull out all the stops, lavishing me with all of the attention I’d been missing out on. But these guys have a secret. Am I going to be able to cope with the truth when it comes out, or is it going to be too much to bear?
-
-
She’s the Priority, and I’m here for it!
- By Amazon Customer on 02-21-25
By: Sam Hall
-
Captured by Aliens Complete Boxed Set
- The Complete Alien Abduction Romance Series (5 books)
- By: A.G. Wilde
- Narrated by: B.N. Love
- Length: 36 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Step into a captivating world of alien romance and adventure with the thrilling box set of the Captured by Aliens series.
-
-
The main character stupidity
- By Suzette Brown on 12-11-23
By: A.G. Wilde
-
Bachelor Beast
- By: Grace Goodwin
- Narrated by: Tor Thom, Mia Sloane
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Warlord Wulf thought nothing could be worse than being tortured and contaminated by the Hive. That was before he’s ordered to transport to Earth and represent the Colony in an unfamiliar horror...a human reality show. The Bachelor Beast is the hottest new program on Earth, but being set up with two dozen clingy females is not his idea of a good time. When his Beast refuses to show the slightest interest in any of the show’s potential mates, he knows he must choose one or die due to his raging mating fever.
-
-
ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS BOOK!
- By Cookie Smith on 05-16-21
By: Grace Goodwin
-
The Alien’s Accidental Bride
- Alien Brides, Book 1
- By: C.V. Walter
- Narrated by: Rebecca Estrella
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Molly was no stranger to life's little detours. After the last upheaval, she left her family's law firm to become a maintenance technician on the space station Bradbury 12. When an accident knocks her off her feet, she's going to have to draw on all her resilience to get back up. First, though, she's going to have to figure out how to talk to the big, blue alien trying to help her.
-
-
Sweet girl meets alien
- By Amazon Customer on 01-07-25
By: C.V. Walter
-
My Human Pet
- By: Olympia Black
- Narrated by: Amber Lee Connors, James Ford
- Length: 6 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I was abducted by the alien puppy pound. Thrown into a cage and sold as a galactic pet. An alien captain has made me his beloved pet. Things have happened that I can’t live with. Things too terrible to mention here.
-
-
Seb's Human Pet Ensley
- By Vicki on 05-24-20
By: Olympia Black
-
Intergalactic Dating Agency: Joran
- Star-Crossed Alien Mail-Order Brides, Book 1
- By: Susan Hayes
- Narrated by: Tieran Wilder
- Length: 2 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Joran, Crown Prince of Pyros, needs to claim his mate in order to ascend to the throne one day. The problem? His destined mate isn’t on Pyros. When a galaxy-wide search uncovers a backwater world full of potential mates for Joran and the other unmated males on his planet, plans are set in motion and Star-Crossed Dating is created. Now, the first wave of men are on their way to claim their unsuspecting brides. Joran’s mission: Go to Earth, claim his mate, and bring her back to Pyros. How hard could it be?
-
-
Wonderful!
- By TheBookLover on 04-04-18
By: Susan Hayes
-
Booty Hunter
- By: KC Cross, JA Huss
- Narrated by: Teddy Hamilton, Savannah Peachwood
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Bounty hunter Serpint has just returned to Harem Station with a prize addition to his brother's elite collection of Cygnian princesses. But Serpint sacrificed a lot to bring this little gift home and now all he wants is some no-strings sex with a simple, obedient girl and a bottle of whiskey. Enter Princess Lyra. She's any filthy-minded rebel's one-night-stand erotic dream. If you don't mind her bad attitude and lack of…luster. Not quite the obedient girl Serpint was craving. But Cygnian princesses are hard to pass up.
-
-
How awful
- By audiobookaddict on 01-30-21
By: KC Cross, and others
-
Antecedents' Legacy
- Antecedents' Legacy, Book 1
- By: Daniel Schinhofen
- Narrated by: Andrea Parsneau
- Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Shifted by quantum entanglement from Earth to an alien planet, military contractor Zander Greaves and his squad would have to adapt—and quickly—if they wanted to live. As they tried to understand what was happening, the stark truth of their new reality thrust itself on the shaken humans. Giant machines of war were attacking an equally humongous bug. And, quite unfortunately, the giant bug had a lot of little friends.
-
-
Mediocre writting, Excellent Narration
- By Kindle Customer on 06-01-23
-
Colonist Soldier Omnibus Book 1-3
- By: Dan Raxor, Tyler Bowman
- Narrated by: Patrick Dubois, Nina Harmony
- Length: 42 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Vesta Colony has a problem, aliens are snatching men until they disappear for good. Humanity's defensive forces are stretched too thin to help a distant outpost, and so, the desperate founders, as well as their investors, are given the bad option of recruiting the worst while bribing the rest. When Alex's wife was murdered, he turned full vigilante. After years of having a sterling record, he found himself willingly incarcerated to exact his vengeance. His incarceration eats at his soul until an offer too good to refuse from Vesta Colony changes his fate.
-
-
You lost me
- By Christy M. on 04-03-24
By: Dan Raxor, and others
What listeners say about Alien Abduction for Beginners
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- jlynnmurphy
- 04-16-21
Delightful
This is a sweet charming little sci fi romance nugget. Very light and humorous. I enjoyed it a lot and will read more.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Biggs_bookshelf
- 01-16-22
Adorable and funny
Who knew there was a school for alien abductions. After botching multiple kidnappings Havel, Matar and Xil join the intergalactic university to learn how not to be a disgrace. Each chapters based on a lesson which keeps the book flowing. It’s humors especially as they bumble through the lesson on probing. Over all it’s fun. It’s a silly alien space romance with slap stick humor and cross species miscommunications. It ends at a natural stopping point for the next book to begin and I think could use some finessing to smooth out some jagged edges but I’m intrigued so I’ll keep listening.
Speaking of listening. I am reviewing the audiobook version. I loved the narrators. The sound was smooth and crisp and no matter the device I never heard any issues. The narration was amazing and even with three main male characters you could always tell who was speaking. There’s great inflection and these two are fabulous with the spicy scenes! Upped the star rating in my opinion!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Ravens9308
- 04-07-24
Not sure about the narration TBH
I was looking for a shorter funny audiobook after I had listened to some heavier ones and I was hoping this would be it but unfortunately fell flat for me and I think it was more because of the narration instead of the storyline.
I thought the idea for the story was funny, some of the jokes didnt hit home for me but some did so it was enjoyable. I was confused how it got so heated so quickly when she was so against it and was scared in the beginning. I know it’s fiction but there really wasn't a transition for me so I couldnt get sucked into the story enough. Like she didnt make them earn her trust, get to know them before she got all hot for them and wanted them to do more to her, if that makes sense. I did like how almost golden retrievers the aliens were haha. I loved the confusion they had with some earth mannerisms and sayings, them doing their “research” and the watching shows 😉 and holding hands and opening doors haha IYKYK. Again the concept was funny and I enjoyed most of it.
Narration was off for me. I usually like this couple who narrate a lot of RH books but I am not sure, they didnt help connect me to the characters. It made some jokes not land and just overall made some cringey moments for me. I don’t think they did anything particularly wrong, I just think how they narrate (they both had instances of this) made some things very OTT when it shouldn’t have been dialed down a bit. Probably more personal preference because again I normally enjoy any book they narrate.
I do have the next audiobook, will see if I want to continue listening or try reading the next one to see how it changes my perspective.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- R and N. Ukiah
- 04-01-21
Alien Porn
This book is over the top porn wise.. ;Sad.. don't bother I can't recommend it for kids of any age. Kind of nasty Period!!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful