Let’s talk about that weird emotional hangover you get after confronting your husband’s bad behavior. You know, the one where he hurts you, but somehow you end up feeling sorry for him? Yep. That old chestnut. In this episode, I get real about the trap so many of us Christian women fall into, the compassion boomerang that keeps us stuck in abusive marriages.

I’ve lived this. I breathed this for 25 years. I know exactly what it feels like to see the abuse for what it is, feel a spark of righteous anger… only to have it snuffed out by a fake tear, a Bible verse, or a bouquet of “I didn’t mean it that way” flowers. Before you know it, you’re back to feeling like the monster for having feelings in the first place.

So I’m calling it out. We’re unpacking why this happens, how it messes with your brain, and what you can do to flip the script and start feeling sorry for the person who truly deserves your compassion: you.

What I Want You to Walk Away With:

• You’re not crazy. You’re chemically trauma bonded. And yes, that’s a thing.
• Your compassion is beautiful, but when it’s misdirected at your abuser, it becomes a prison.
• The church has taught us to tolerate abuse in the name of Jesus—and honestly, Jesus would’ve flipped a table over that.
• Grief isn’t the enemy. Denial is. Grief is the beginning of healing.
• You can feel sorry for yourself. You should. That’s what healing starts with.
• You don’t need to be brave enough for the whole mountain—just the next step.
• You are the one who’s going to rescue you. (No prince required.)

Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

Liked this episode? Then you’ll like two of my other Flying Free Podcast episodes, “How Can You Tell if Your Abusive Partner Has Changed?” and “Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Abuser - and When That Changes.”