Today we're going to take the first of many stabs at the wonderfully awkward world of post-cult dating. Essentially, the challenge of learning things most people learned in high school at the age of 35.

Here's the thing, you can't skip the mess. The mess builds the muscles. But we've put together some of the most common lessons learned for all you late bloomers that will hopefully make the leveling up process just a little bit easier.

In this episode, we'll be starting, as usual, with the mess left to us by the cult, then moving on to the shame of feeling inexperienced, the most common pitfalls we'll likely fall into, and why it might be a good idea to fall into them anyway

What the build up to an ayahuasca purge can feel like

For all the Star Wars fans out there

Proper bullshit at the proper time

A playful breakdown of the narcissistic deflection cascade

In the 10 years prior to my work with ex-JWs, I would generally encounter clients with one or more parents on the narcissistic specturm maybe around 20% of the time. Once I started working with ex-JWs, that number went up to about 80%.

This is no cute coincidence. There's a pattern here, and we spend this entire episode exploring that pattern in more detail, not only in how it presents in those on this spectrum, but also in the way the same characteristics can be seen in the organization itself, as a narcissistic entity.

Fresh off the tail of our very first ex-JW ayahuasca retreat, I'm thrilled to report that it surpassed all expectations. Today we're going to give you a breakdown of all the joy, surprises, and personal lessons learned in the process.

Through the retelling, we'll be touching on themes of connection, nuances of forgiveness, and something called "the caretakers dillemma".

Today, we're talking about pain; more specifically Clean Pain vs. Dirty Pain:

Clean pain is the sharp but necessary pain of ripping off the Band-Aid. It heals you.

Dirty pain is the slow, grinding misery of avoidance. It traps you.

Ex-JWs know all about dirty pain—it’s what keeps people stuck in the cult, chasing after shunning family, or waiting for an apology that’s never coming.

So today, we’re breaking it all down:
🔹 How avoiding pain makes everything worse
🔹 Why the short-term hurt is the only way to long-term freedom
🔹 And why clinging to something dead is NOT in your best interest