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What does it really take to officiate at soccer's highest levels while maintaining a corporate career?Pro assistant referee Melissa Gonzalez pulls back the curtain on the demanding reality behind the flags and whistles.

"The perception is this is my full-time job, but it's not," Gonzalez reveals, describing her meticulous scheduling between IT project management responsibilities and professional refereeing commitments. Unlike many officials who map out deliberate career paths, Melissa's journey began simply with curiosity and the need for college spending money. Her progression came through consistently showing up, performing well, and remaining open to unexpected opportunities.

Standing at just 5'2", Gonzalez defied those who said she could never pass the men's FIFA fitness test, showcasing the determination that defines her career. Her transition from center referee to assistant referee highlights an often overlooked path in officiating – one requiring exceptional adaptability to work with different center referees and their unique communication styles.

Perhaps most compelling is Melissa's candid discussion of gender discrimination throughout her career. From being told she "belonged in the kitchen" to questioning her knowledge of the game, she faced barriers that could have derailed her passion. Instead, she transformed these challenges into character-building opportunities. "Refereeing as a female builds you as an individual," she explains, crediting the profession for developing resilience that extends into all aspects of life.

Whether you're a young referee facing abuse or an experienced official looking to advance, Gonzalez offers simple but powerful wisdom: "Accept failure, learn from it, and keep showing up with a great attitude." Her journey reminds us that the rewards of refereeing – professional opportunities, personal growth, and community connections – come to those who persist through challenges with passion and determination.

Want to connect with other referees or share your own experiences? Reach out through the Refs Need Love Too channel, where the referee community continues to grow and support each other through the beautiful game's most challenging role.

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