Episodes

  • Dear Body, I want to grow old with you: A conversation about aging and love with Bryn Knowles

    Dear Body, I want to grow old with you: A conversation about aging and love with Bryn Knowles
    Dec 18 2023
    Amber returns to finish the year with a final extended episode, joined by their partner, Bryn. The two chat about how they met and launch into a many layered, candid conversation about aging and perimenopause - all from a nonbinary lens - and what they're learning about loving their bodies and each other through it all. TW: physical and sexual abuse are mentioned
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    1 hr and 30 mins
  • No-contact: Making peace with our hardest boundaries

    No-contact: Making peace with our hardest boundaries
    Jul 24 2023
    Amber returns to the large & looming topic of coming out to unsupportive family members, breaking down their process of arriving at a no-contact boundary and how, ultimately, they uphold this when it gets really hard. They address some misconceptions and judgments around setting a no-contact boundary, reflect on the definition of a boundary and provide backstory as context for the larger conversation. For anyone who is struggling with setting and holding (or even deciding upon) having no contact with family, this episode aims to offer validation, comfort and empowerment.
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    1 hr and 1 min
  • How not to be a living apology & other lessons from past loves

    How not to be a living apology & other lessons from past loves
    Mar 31 2023
    A reflection, confession and invitation to love our past selves more deeply where we've been, to claim what is ours, to let go of what isn't, to thank & release past loves and to run where the light calls. Special thanks to Luca Fogale, the author of the song shared in this episode - "Run where the light calls." **TW: Suicidal ideation mentioned in this episode.
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    37 mins
  • Conversation with River Lotic: romance, platonic love and nonmonogamy

    Conversation with River Lotic: romance, platonic love and nonmonogamy
    Feb 5 2023
    Amber is joined by their dear friend, River Lotic, for a candid, verbose - sometimes rabbit trail - conversation that aims to explore love outside different binaries. Together they grapple with how to define romance, the sweetness and blurred lines of queer platonic love and nonmonogamy, while Amber continues to question how labels serve them overall.
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    1 hr and 5 mins
  • Happy birthday to me: invitations to aging, fluidity and my word for 2023

    Happy birthday to me: invitations to aging, fluidity and my word for 2023
    Jan 10 2023
    Amber pre-celebrates their 42nd birthday in classic form: deep reflection and storytelling. From a recent loss and celebration of a life, to more recent gender exploration, to the word Amber chose as their companion for 2023, this is a multilayered episode. And spoiler alert: a pronoun update is announced.
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    47 mins
  • The gender conversation + imposter syndrome resurfacing

    The gender conversation + imposter syndrome resurfacing
    Dec 7 2022
    Amber takes a stab at recording an entire episode off-the-cuff, totally unscripted - Yippee! How does imposter syndrome manifest for them? What's the latest scoop on pronouns? What parts of themselves are popping out of the woodwork to surprise them these days? All this and so much meandering solo conversation to be had in this episode. Ideal for the fellow gender-questioner and would-be imposter: step on up, you're in good company.
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    48 mins
  • Living into a dream: how big brave can be

    Living into a dream: how big brave can be
    Nov 14 2022
    In storyteller form, Amber reflects on the last 5 weeks of their life - from wrapping up on the farm to beginning a brand new book of life in the city - and what it's been like to live into a dream they didn't realize had been growing in them for a lot of years.
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    39 mins
  • Hello Grief, My Old Friend

    Hello Grief, My Old Friend
    Oct 8 2022
    We're unceremoniously kicking off season two with some loss, some history with Grief, some ways Amber has learned to sink into Grief's invitation to feel the fullness of pain, some song lyrics and choked up poetry reading - and some hope for each of us (also, some intermittent background noises from Amber's housemates).
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    37 mins