Will Falk discover who bombed a residential building in Heck’s Pantry? Can he find someone to punch or shoot for this villainy? What’s the industry standard for radio kissing? Listen to find out!

Lips That Yearn, episode 128 of This Gun in My Hand, was a bomb dropped by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What’s totally useless at pulling out people who are trapped under rubble? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. For excerpts of testimony from the Haas Unreliable Narrativities Commitee, listen to Episode 72, “Undeniable Narrator.”
https://archive.org/details/tgimh-72-undeniable-narrator

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950) and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Other music comes from “Journey Into Fear,” the June 9, 1946 episode of the public domain radio show Hour of Mystery. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: Foley_Footsteps_ShedWoodenFloor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/523273/

Sound Effect Title: Footsteps Dress Shoes Wood Floor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/allrealsound/sounds/161756/

Sound Effect Title: Wood Falling - 4 Drops.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Manim8/sounds/577452/

Sound Effect Title: Huge Cinematic Explosion.wav by musicace17
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/486551/

Sound Effect Title: Rubble Trouble by magnuswaker
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/758580/

Sound Effect Title: Rocks Falling No-Reverb Edition 16 Bit. Foley Sound by ALLANZ10D
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/323477/

Sound Effect Title: Wood_Creak_02.wav by dheming
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/177779/

Sound Effect Title: S16-06 Light wooden door open & close.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/675878/

Sound Effect Title: Larun_Mountains_Low_QuietWind.aif by nicotep
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/683674/

Sound Effect Title: Creaking Door by eqavox
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/709418/

Sound Effect Title: G28-27-Crowd Fast Walla Applause.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/438387/

Sound Effect Title: Sitcom Laughter with Applause, Small Audience by Kinoton
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/371562/

The image accompanying this episode is a detail of “Collapsed structures after the 1935 Shinchiku-Taichū earthquake” from 《楊肇嘉留真集》, "Yang Zhaojia's Collection of True Pictures."
License for image: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International.
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Collapsed_structures_after_the_1935_Shinchiku-Taich%C5%AB_earthquake.jpg

Will Exposition Boy expose the backstory of Billy Narrator, boy detective? Can Falk prevent them from destroying the whole episode and the sanity of his listeners? Listen to find out!

Clash of the Story Boys, episode 127 of This Gun in My Hand, was narrated and exposed by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. How do I settle creative differences? With This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Thanks to Pete Larsen for the idea for this episode: “I'd love to see a fight between 'Exposition Boy, the Teen-Sidekick' and 'Billy Narrator Jr.'”

2. If you’re going to take six years to develop an international exposition and build an artificial island for it, maybe open it in an off-year when there isn’t an official world’s fair on the other coast. The Golden Gate International Exposition opened in 1939, competing with the 1939 New York World’s Fair. (Spoilers: they did run out of money and closed early in October 1939, then scrounged up a little more to reopen May-September 1940.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Gate_International_Exposition

3. Billy commandeered the show in episode 113, “Don’t Kid a Kidder,” to do his own show, Billy Narrator, Boy Detective.
https://archive.org/details/tgimh-113-dont-kid-a-kidder

4. The Pope’s Rhinoceros by Lawrence Norfolk establishes a deeper backstory than any other novel I’ve read. The first four pages describe glacial and geologic activity that form the lake where protagonists finally come into the story on the fifth page. Literally a glacial age of backstory.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Exposition Boy’s storytelling music was from “Journey Into Fear,” the June 9, 1946 episode of the public domain radio show Hour of Mystery. Music from the second commercial was from the public domain film Death Machines (1976). Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: Traffic mel 1.wav
By malupeeters
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/people/malupeeters/sounds/191350/

Sound Effect Title: Park ambience - mostly birds
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Mafon2/sounds/274175/#

Music Title: Kitten on the Keys
Composed and Performed by Zez Confrey and His Orchestra
Recorded May 4, 1922
License: Public Domain
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Antique_Phonograph_Music_Program_Various_Artists/Antique_Phonograph_Music_Program_05052009/Kitten_on_the_Keys/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of one panel from the April 28, 1929 public domain comic strip Just Kids by Ad Carter. The title of the comic strip changed to Mush Stebbins and His Sister in 1950.

Have beings from outer space landed in Heck’s Pantry? Will Falk stop the inhuman aural assault on Parabellum City? How come I don’t get no bassoon solo in the commercial? Listen to find out!

A Song of Brass and Ash, episode 126 of This Gun in My Hand, was blown until it was windy by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. How do I get to Carnegie Hall? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. When searching for a sad trombone sound on freesound dot org, I found this cache of 91 twisted and screwed public domain trombone sounds by user PhonosUPF, most of them sounding nothing like a trombone. I’m not using all of them here, but they inspired this episode.
https://freesound.org/search/?q=phonosupf+trombone

2. The Hall of Justice shown in the 1970s Super Friends cartoon was based on the design of Cincinnati Union Terminal.

3. I can’t tell if the Zurich Baroque Ensemble’s recording of Marcello’s Oboe Concerto in F Minor includes bassoon as Jojo claims.

4. Young James Marshall Hendrix carried his guitar with him everywhere he could, to school and to friends’ houses, practicing all day.

5. This Gun in My Hand podcast has existed longer than the Confederate States of America.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

The nineteen sound effects named below were created by PhonosUPF.
https://freesound.org/search/?q=phonosupf+trombone
In order of appearance in this episode, they were:
1. Trombone grave (501269)
2. Trombone grave 3
3. Trombone grave 2
4. Trombone metal 2
5. Trombone grave (490995)
6. Trombone stretching 13
7. Trombone signal 13
8. Trombone sequence
9. Trombone stretching 6
10. Trombone percussion
11. Trombone blow 2
12. Trombone set
13. Trombone blow
14. Trombone signal 14
15. Trombone grave 5
16. Wagnerian trombones
17? Trombone melody
18. Trombone glissandi
19. Trombone metal 5

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

Sound Effect Title: R10-56-Footsteps on Metal Staircase.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/480641/

Sound Effect Title: muted cornet 2.wav by thatjeffcarter
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/185435/

Sound Effect Title: tuba frullato by PhonosUPF
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/501504/

Music Title: Oboe Concerto in F Minor
Composed by Alessandro Marcello
Performed by The Zurich Baroque Ensemble
Composition and recording are in public domain.
https://musopen.org/music/45546-concerto-for-oboe-orchestra/

Sound Effect Title: Clarinet- ORTF Stereo Pair (NT-5's)-01.wav by debudding
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/44361/

Sound Effect Title: Banging Metal Lid by wolfdoctor
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/520074/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the public domain cover of the 1951 novel Blues for the Prince written by Bart Spicer, artist unknown.

Upset stomach? Feeling liverish? Is something obstructing you from your normal functions? It might be a microscopic Nazi U-boat exploring your nether regions. How will you survive? Listen to find out!

This Hun in My Gland, episode 125 of This Gun in My Hand, was forcefully expelled from the lips of Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What folk remedy settles an upset stomach? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Doktor Goren’s surname is taken from a minor character from the Springbok Radio drama Vale of Darkness, written by Ron Evans. I can’t find info about when it was originally broadcast, but you can listen to the series from the Internet Archive or other sources on the web.
https://archive.org/details/vale-of-darkness-19xx-xx-xx-26/Vale_of_Darkness_19xx-xx-xx_01.mp3

2. For the purposes of crossover with Melinda’s stories about fairy munchkins, hamquatches, reptilibugs and the pets of our extended family, let’s assume Fritz is actually my sister-in-law’s dog playing the trombone. He’s not a Nazi, just playing a part.

3. When I was searching for a “sad trombone” on freesound dot org, I found 91 sound trombone samples stretched and modified by user PhonosUPF. The weird dramatic sound near the end of the episode is actually two of those trombone sounds combined.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950) and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: Sad Trombone.wav
by Benboncan
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/73581/

Sound Effect Title: descent.wav by Dguil
License: Creative Commons Sampling+
https://freesound.org/s/85212/

Eatmore Meats commercial jingle by Allied Radio Artists.
License: Public Domain
https://www.oldtimeradiodownloads.com/commercials/allied-radio-artists-radio-jingles/eatmore-meat-products-195x-xx-xx

Sound Effect Title: 60Hz_Tube_Radio_Hum.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/hetanoyokozuki/sounds/541812/

Sound Effect Title: G45-18-Submarine Motor Stop.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/438720/

Sound Effect Title: R18-31-Old Car Ahooga Horn.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/480002/

Sound Effect Title: Pouring Soup in a Metal Pan - Quick,Short,Gross
by Hitrison
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/251410/

Sound Effect Title: trombone melody 3 by PhonosUPF
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/501272/

Sound Effect Title: trombone blow by PhonosUPF
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/491015/

Sound Effect Title: Charlie Brown Style Teacher by crashoverride6
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/146933/

The image accompanying this episode is a collage including details from Detective Fiction Weekly, February 12, 1938 (public domain painting by V. E. Pyles) and a panel from the public domain National Comics Number 36, October 1943 (pencils and inks by Jon Blummer).

Medical help for Falk's wound is right around the corner, but how will he get past The Health Access Facilitator? Will corporate bureaucracy spell his doom? You're gonna use an Allen wrench on a pipe fitting? Listen to find out!

Go to Health, episode 123 of This Gun in My Hand, was doctored by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. How do I ensure every episode goes out with a bang? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. The President of the United States depicted in this episode is fictional, not meant to represent the president you’re thinking of. Any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
2. I thought it would make the nurse sound uninformed about plumbing if she thought an Allen wrench would help tighten a loose pipe fitting, but maybe one of those hose clamps with the bolt that tightens it could have an Allen bolt? Slightly autobiographical scene – even when I understand what tools and parts need to be used for a plumbing repair, my trouble is usually trying to fit the wrench into a tight and awkward position.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Music Title: Impact Allegretto
by Kevin MacLeod
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 International
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Kevin_MacLeod/Impact/Impact_Allegretto_1100/

"Gun Doctor" music and hoofbeats taken from the September 2, 1954 episode of the radio show Dr. Sixgun.
License: Public Domain
https://archive.org/details/otr_drsixgun

Sound Effect Title: laser gun blasts #2
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/377971/

Sound Effect Title: Laser Machine Gun
By Mike Koenig
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://soundbible.com/1774-Laser-Machine-Gun.html

Sound Effect Title: Laser Machine Gun
by sonically_sound
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/612875/

Sound Effect Title: S18-25 Rifle shots battle.wav
by craigsmith
License: Publid Domain
https://freesound.org/s/675666/

Sound Effect Title: distant rumbling thunderstorm, ambience
by greyfeather
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/712914/

Sound Effect Title: Rumble of the rain in Africa during the rain season
by felix.blume
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/190139/

Sound Effect Title: S18-13 Explosion with falling debris.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/674889/

Sound Effect Title: R12-02-Large Explosions.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/486018/

The image accompanying this episode includes modified details of panels from the public domain comics Robotmen of The Lost Planet Number 1 (1952), art by Gene Fawcette, and General Electric’s Adventures in Electronics (1955), art by George Roussous.

Can Falk persuade a string of villains to change their ways? How can you avoid entanglements with your secretary? Would you like to wrestle now? Listen to find out!

Certainly No Angels, episode 122 of This Gun in My Hand, was certified angular by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What do I use to put the boom in the boiler room? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Would a gray-on-gray costume fit with a “summer” seasonal color palette? It’s possible that Writer’s Brick doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Credits:
The opening and some transitional music was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Transitional music around the commercial and the “Writer’s Brick” musical sting were from the June 9, 1946 episode of the public domain radio show US Steel Hour of Mystery. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Music Title: Lobby Time
By Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Lobby_Time_(ISRC_USUAN1600054).mp3

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire
By GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

Sound Effect Title: mechanical alarm clock
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/522119/

Sound Effect Title: S18-13 Explosion with falling debris.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/674889/

Sound Effect Title: R12-02-Large Explosions.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/486018/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the inside cover of the public domain comic book Police Lineup Number 1 (August 1951), art by Wally Wood.

What are the mysterious objects seen flying over Santopolis? Can Falk stop them with the help of a new paramilitary force made up of old familiar faces? How do you feel about cilantro? Listen to find out!

Uniquely Heroic Americans, episode 121 of This Gun in My Hand, was seasoned and lorded over by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What makes my chili taste uniquely American? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Is this the first episode to quote Dead Kennedys lyrics? Maybe.
2. Darn, I should have started the ad with “speaking of motherships…”
3. Robert Thomas Northrup’s mother did not rewrite the ad text in this episode. Some unnamed fictional character who wrote the ad might have solicited notes and rewrites from their mother, or might have been lying. Many statements made by characters in This Gun in My Hand are lies or mistakes. That’s for you to determine because your interpretation is more important than the actual author’s intent. See “The Death of the Author,” an essay by Roland Barthes.
https://web.archive.org/web/20200419132326/http://www.ubu.com/aspen/aspen5and6/threeEssays.html#barthes
4. “In the Western world, Persia (or its cognates) was historically the common name for Iran. In 1935, Reza Shah asked foreign delegates and League of Nations to use the term Iran (‘Land of the Aryans’), the endonym of the country, used by its native people, in formal correspondence.” - “Reza Shah,” Wikipedia, 2 January 2025, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reza_Shah#Replacement_of_Persia_with_Iran

Credits:
The opening music was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Transitional music around the commercial was from the June 9, 1946 episode of the public domain radio show US Steel Hour of Mystery. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: tug boat horn - sound effect.wav
By komal22moiz
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/komal22moiz/sounds/380825/

Sound Effect Title: R11-19-Army Marching Steadily.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/480434/

(another marching sound to layer with above)
Sound Effect Title: Chân Lính
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/546791/

Sound Effect Title: Stomach Rumble
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/yrdn/sounds/473989/

Sound Effect Title: groaning1.flac
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/borygmi/sounds/414975/

Sound Effect Title: 38 Caliber Gun Shot 5x
Recorded by Mike Koenig
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/375-38-Caliber-Gun-Shot-5x.html

Sound Effect Title: Kimmokkeita / Ricochets
By YleArkisto
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/people/YleArkisto/sounds/401921/

Sound Effect Title: A slap or smack in the face
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/522596/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of the public domain comic book Fightin’ Marines Number 14 (May 1955), artist unknown.
https://digitalcomicmuseum.com/index.php?dlid=21270