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Ever found yourself thinking, "They should just know what I need"? That silent expectation might be quietly destroying your relationships. In this eye-opening exploration of unspoken and unrealistic expectations, Dr. Dar Hawks reveals why the standards we never verbalize become the invisible architects of our disappointment.

When we expect perfection, constant happiness, or mind-reading abilities from our partners, we create impossible standards no real relationship can meet. Dr. Hawks breaks down how these expectations manifest differently depending on your primary relationship need – whether you prioritize love and belonging, freedom, fun, safety, or power. By understanding which need drives your expectations, you gain crucial insight into the assumptions you make about how others should treat you.

The most powerful revelation? Fulfilling your expectations isn't primarily your partner's responsibility—it's yours. While others can contribute to meeting your needs, the accountability begins with you. Dr. Hawks offers practical strategies for communicating expectations effectively, setting realistic boundaries, and negotiating when expectations differ. She emphasizes the importance of discussing needs during moments of emotional clarity rather than heated arguments.

Perhaps most transformative is becoming the exemplary model of your own expectations. When you consistently demonstrate the behaviors you desire—whether it's open communication, loyalty, or quality time—you create an environment where these values naturally flourish. This approach shifts relationships from battlegrounds of silent demands to spaces for genuine connection and mutual growth.

Ready to transform your relationships? Take the Primary Relationship Needs Quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com to discover which need drives your expectations, or book a one-on-one coaching session at bookings.drdarhawks.com to address specific relationship challenges.

Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships. Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships...
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.

Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships. Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships...
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.

Support the show

Take my free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz to discover your dominant, secondary, and shadow Primary Relationship Needs by visiting https://needs.drdarhawks.com. This one thing will help you better understand yourself, your partner, and your relationship, and even improve communication and connection between you and your partner.

Note: The quiz name has changed from Sovereign Relationship Needs to Primary Relationship Needs as of July 2024. Please keep that in mind for podcasts dated before July 2024.

Book a coaching session: https://huddle.drdarhawks.com

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Ever wondered why some relationships crumble despite no obvious conflicts? The answer might lie in something invisible yet powerful: unmet expectations. Dr. Dar dives deep into what she calls "the silent relationship killer" – those unspoken guidelines that shape how we interact with others and experience emotions in our relationships.

Expectations aren't merely hopes or desires; they're fundamental frameworks formed by our personal values, past experiences, and cultural influences. When left uncommunicated, these expectations create significant disconnects between partners, leading to misunderstandings, resentment, and relationship deterioration. "Uncommunicated and unrealistic expectations always lead to upset in relationships," Dr. Dar emphasizes, highlighting the importance of bringing these hidden standards into the open.

Financial expectations represent one of the most common battlegrounds in relationships. From differing views on income contribution and spending habits to approaches toward saving and debt management, money matters often trigger significant conflicts when expectations don't align. Dr. Dar offers practical guidance for addressing these differences, including establishing healthy financial habits together, clarifying responsibilities, and maintaining open communication about financial matters.

Beyond romantic relationships, expectations influence all our connections – with friends, family members, coworkers, and managers. Each relationship type carries its own set of common expectations, many of which seem obvious but remain undiscussed. The consequences of these unmet expectations extend beyond momentary disappointment, potentially causing lasting damage through resentment, emotional distance, and communication breakdowns.

The solution? Open, honest communication and explicit agreements about expectations. Dr. Dar provides helpful scripts for initiating these potentially difficult conversations, emphasizing emotional

Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships. Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships...
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.

Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships. Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships...
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.

Support the show

Take my free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz to discover your dominant, secondary, and shadow Primary Relationship Needs by visiting https://needs.drdarhawks.com. This one thing will help you better understand yourself, your partner, and your relationship, and even improve communication and connection between you and your partner.

Note: The quiz name has changed from Sovereign Relationship Needs to Primary Relationship Needs as of July 2024. Please keep that in mind for podcasts dated before July 2024.

Book a coaching session: https://huddle.drdarhawks.com

Follow me:
LinkedIn https://linkedin.com/in/drdarhawks
Facebook https://facebook.com/drdarhawks1
Instagram https://instagram.com/dr.dar.hawks
Pinterest https://pinterest.com/drdarhawks

Please share your thoughts, feedback, and questions. I would love to hear from you.

Have you ever wished you could change your partner, family member, friend, or colleague? Dr. Dar Hawks challenges the common belief that "you can't change other people" by revealing a powerful truth: when you transform yourself, those around you often change in response.

Forget about direct confrontation, ultimatums, or demands - these approaches typically trigger resistance and defensiveness. Instead, Dr. Dar introduces an indirect, influential method that works through what she calls "relationship electromagnetics" - the invisible forces governing our interactions. By changing your own behaviors, communication style, and the energy you bring to conversations, you create profound shifts without ever directly asking others to change.

This transformative approach requires understanding that people react not only to who you are now, but to their memory of who you've been. Dr. Dar explains why consistency and patience are crucial as you break established patterns and create space for new perceptions to take root. Through compelling examples - from improving emotional intelligence to adopting healthier habits - she demonstrates how personal growth naturally inspires those around you to evolve alongside you.

The episode delves into the impact of trauma on our capacity for change, the challenges of sustaining transformation, and the difference between trying to change someone's personality versus their behaviors. Dr. Dar offers practical questions to recalibrate your internal state before difficult conversations and shares strategies for creating environments where change feels like an invitation rather than an imposition.

Ready to become the catalyst for positive transformation in your relationships? Take the relationship needs quiz at needs.drdarhawks.com and discover how your personal growth can create ripple effects that change your entire relational landscape.

Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships. Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships...
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.

Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships. Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships...
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.

Support the show

Take my free Primary Relationship Needs Quiz to discover your dominant, secondary, and shadow Primary Relationship Needs by visiting https://needs.drdarhawks.com. This one thing will help you better understand yourself, your partner, and your relationship, and even improve communication and connection between you and your partner.

Note: The quiz name has changed from Sovereign Relationship Needs to Primary Relationship Needs as of July 2024. Please keep that in mind for podcasts dated before July 2024.

Book a coaching session: https://huddle.drdarhawks.com

Follow me:
LinkedIn https://linkedin.com/in/drdarhawks
Facebook https://facebook.com/drdarhawks1
Instagram https://instagram.com/dr.dar.hawks
Pinterest https://pinterest.com/drdarhawks