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Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups

Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups

By: A.J. Mahari
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About this listen

 A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 35 years experience working with people surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner Child Healing, Family of Origin and Self Differentiation. A.J. also works with people surviving a Narcissistic Relationship Breakup or Co-Monbidly both BPD/NPD Breakup and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and much more.

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https://codependency.caA.J. Mahari Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • BPD Misinformation Hurts Borderlines and Codependents

    BPD Misinformation Hurts Borderlines and Codependents
    Jul 9 2025
    BPD Misinformation Hurts Borderlines and Codependents

    BPD misinformation hurts people with Borderline Personality and it hurts Codependents and loved ones. There is growing "professional misinformation" about BPD out there, and it doesn't help anybody heal. BPD is not 100% heritable, nothing like that is known at all. BPD is a combination of nature and nurture (lack of nurture). People with BPD can recover. People with BPD are not all the same and the globalized narrative by so many who have been traumatized by someone with BPD serves no one. Every individual with BPD is an individual just as every person with Codependency is also an individual.

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    This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
    100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

    Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,
    the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic Relationship
    Podcasts lists.

    https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/
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    1 hr and 1 min
  • BPD “Remission” Flawed and False Hope

    BPD “Remission” Flawed and False Hope
    Jul 7 2025

    BPD “Remission” Flawed & False Hope

    BPD remission is very difficult to define or describe or even rely on apart from a very not helpful base definition of it. BPD remission is not a measurable constant across many, let alone most with BPD in treatment at all.

    Is BPD remission really a helpful measure for Codependents wanting to keep trying an unhealthy relationship? Does the definition of BPD remission make sense in any "standard" way that can be generally applied?

    https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions
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    https://ajmahari.com - Online Store new info Products coming soon

    This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
    100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
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    23 mins
  • Excusing BPD Behavior is Codependent Externalization

    Excusing BPD Behavior is Codependent Externalization
    Jun 29 2025
    Excusing BPD Behavior is Codependent Externalization

    Excusing BPD behavior is what so many people with Codependency do and it is a function of Codependent Externalization and need for taking more personal responsibility for yourself - not how anyone with BPD treated you terribly. It is important to get into a healing and recovery journey in therapy to break the trauma bond, learn to focus more on yourself, and to stop externalizing out your needs that can't be met by a person with BPD. Codependent needs that you need to learn how to meet internally for yourself.

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    This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
    100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025
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    22 mins
All stars
Most relevant  
as the comment currently shown when scrolling past this podcast claims heartbreak from the way bpd is discussed, perhaps you are experiencing emotional pain from realizing that you're kind of a terrible person when going through the described cycles of behavior? If so instead of being heartbroken go to therapy and stop propagating these, basically true and honest, perceptions of those people interacting with those with the diagnosis.
use this as a test. remove the label, it doesn't matter what but in this case dbt I think. now it's just a person that will engage another individual, happily establish what appears to be a healthy relationship, and then suddenly act as if their former partner is the source of all their problems and refuse to ever talk to them again never saying why.
when anyone else in the world behaves like that they are called many things, and really, none flattering. BUT! just like the podcast says (if you listen and attempt to improve your life and thus those who try to love you rather than go straight to uhh heartbreak) going to therapy can help and one day you'll be able to be with someone without the inevitable dumpster fire that always happens. and it's not the fault of everyone else in the world, it's definitely the person with the matches and dumpster.
go. to. therapy.

maybe not for you?

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This is the worst podcast series ever! The speaker is extremely negative and demeaning towards BPD. I cant help but to feel discouraged, unworthy and hopeless by this series! Completely heartbreaking.

Unbelievably Negative

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It's people like her that give BPD a stigma. As a person diagnosed with BPD, I can tell you that this doctor is trying to sway the perception of people diagnosed with BPD in a bad light. We do know how to have a successful intimate relationship. We know who we are and our worth. So trying to be heard and understood is not us, projecting it onto our partner, rather its us trying to have healthy communication addressing normal needs and concerns within the relationship. Is it for fear of abandonment or fear of losing the relationship? Yes, absolutely. it's called trying to find a resolution to everyday relationship problems. Something healthy relationships require. So quit trying to make it something it is not. We are not dramatic. It may seem that way when the other party refuses to contribute to coming to a mutual understanding on what is borderlines are trying to address. and not all of us are violent or give the silent treatment. Some just want to be heard and understood. To feel validated. Like any human being. I would appreciate it if you did not portray us as unstable people incapable of having good relationships.

Absolutely Inaccurate

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As the spouse of someone with BPD, I am well aware of the heartache and frustration that can be caused by those with BPD. However, this podcast is simply someone ranting about their negative experiences with BPD individuals, by someone who has not bothered to take the time to try to understand individuals who suffer from this diagnosis. Despite their challenges and inappropriate behaviors, individuals with BPD can also be creative, loving, insightful, and fun to be around. I will not pretend that dealing with BPD individuals is always easy, but the black & white/good & evil view of of this disorder voiced in this podcast is simply ignorant & inaccurate.

A bitter rant about a misunderstood group

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Thank you for your well informed and truthful discussions . I listen to all of your videos . This has helped keep me together as I try to not reverse hover my ex. He told me he would marry me 5 times always coming up with excuses and empty promises. It was my responsibility to not continually enable or stay sitting in this mistreatment. We have the power to value ourselves and take back our lives

Thank You

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AJ has been through it and really understands the pain and confusion one experiences in a relationship with pwbpd. Her advice is spot on with no unnecessary fluff and has helped keep me grounded. She definitely keeps it real.

So helpful

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