Dr. Rob and Tami tackle hard questions about sex and intimacy in the wake of betrayal. They cover the role of a spouse in supporting their partner ‘for better and for worse”, how to set boundaries that take care of you first, and addressing the trauma and intrusive thoughts that often come after disclosure.

TAKEAWAYS:

[:20] Where do personal responsibility and societal norms come into play?

[7:27] A spouse’s job is to take care of themselves.

[12:30] How can I deal with my trauma and intrusive thoughts about my partner’s acting out?

[18:56] Acknowledging the level of troubled your partner really is.

[23:07] How can we connect through non-sexual intimacy?

[30:02] Is it common for people with addictions to seek out others with similar problems?

[38:42] Does our marriage counselor also need to be a CSAT?

[41:42] My spouse is refusing a polygraph test. How can I ever trust him?

[46:50] Should I address porn viewing or obsessive masturbation first?

[49:47] My partner has been with underage girls. How do I handle this?

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES

• “As an addict, I need people to support me and relate to me, but as a spouse, that’s not your job.”

• “Addicts are not bad people. They’re broken people.”

• “If I fight my addict, I’m going to lose every time.”

• “The more questions you ask, the more questions it will bring up.”

• ‘Express what you need but don’t blame if you’re not getting it.”