active aggressive, passive aggressive, covert and overt anger

the Prayer for intimate container with the masculine

to work the anger real time, to see and be seen

the anger being a pure form of passion

releasing my own anger at him that I ingested

and his anger as well and it burns

he called me Dakini, I ring the Dragon Bell

the root of Secret Mantra is Samaya, the vow

the essence of Samaya is devotion to outer, inner and secret guru diligence and devotion

Khenpo says dispel outer, inner and secret darkness

and transmit that to future generations

focus on sensation, more upward stroke, less downward

the feel of you in my hand, losing connection

who loses connection, who loses focus, who tells whom about it?

I step back to breathe, to shake it out, to unwind

to reconnect with the Vast, with the Body of the Mother,

my dancing Dakini sisters on the inner planes

with my Heart, with my feeling body

so I can become more powerfully present

losing relationality, but not wanting to inhabit the personal

which you can I relate to?

need to express, need to be seen and received

Sovereign Divinity, human need

swinging doors, swing both ways, in and out

you never know when the door will swing open

and you will come face-to-face with the Roshi in the threshold

in the black of the night, you heading to the bathroom

and he on his way to the kitchen for a scone

Black Mahākāla, as black as night, as black as Emptiness

as black as the dark womb of No-Thing, of Creation

Wrathful Protector, I die to you, we die together

to the bliss, your breath in my channels, stars in my eyes

the bridge is the sound, my song, my dance

slithering serpents around each other

the Roshi says, strip it down and just sit there

unmet human need, need to express, need to be heard and seen

need for containment, need for pleasure and nourishment

Motivation, the No-Motivation of Innocent Heart

what moves me forward?

wrathful deities arise from the brain and intellect

from the head center, which is the body

they arise directly from the organs

their intensely physical embodied energy, the most immense anger

that the Enlightened Mind could ever produce

free from aggression, is the most immense Compassion

priests and priestesses of the Temple hold my body while I die

tending with care to the earth elements while I’m gone

soothing, nourishing, I must have faith and trust in this

the Stone People, the body of the Mother herself

cradling the Earth elements of my body so it can rest

so I can return to her and inhabit myself fully and intimately

in every cell and corner and forgotten treasure

so slowly, I move