“You'll be surprised how often your friends, acquaintances & family will go ‘You were right about that thing”. If you have a bit more faith in yourself, you're like, I'm just waiting for the world to catch up.”

I’m chatting to this week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ about the three words they’d use to describe themselves & their origin story when they bust out the word ‘Little Bit Much’ and how they’ve embraced that - and why you should too!

Natasha Devon (she/her) is a mental health activist & campaigner, broadcaster, journalist & writer. She hosts her own show on LBC on Saturdays from 6pm - 9pm which is often referred to as ‘The Woke Hour’ by some disgruntled listeners to which she hilariously retorts “It’s actually three hours.” And it’s a place where Natasha educates people on society’s important issues, armed with stats, research & insights. She isn’t afraid to challenge harmful rhetoric, outdated views & misleading headlines… and very much sees this as her responsibility with such a huge platform.

Known for covering mental health, gender identity & body image, Natasha talks about her work in schools being her main focus and her passion for working in depth with young people shines through. And with her love for learning & openness to new opportunities, she’s branched out in many other avenues. We dive into Natasha’s many outlets, from her debut fictional novel to hosting podcasts being something she really enjoys. She recently started hosting a podcast called ‘New Beginnings’ which focuses on the largely unknown issue of gambling & women, an area she didn’t know much about - I definitely recommend giving it a listen.

As a person of mixed-heritage & being bisexual along with her own experiences around mental health, Natasha opens up about feeling like ‘a bridge connecting worlds’. And whilst she has felt tribeless in the past, this sentiment - which stemmed from a casual conversation with a colleague - was a moment of realisation for her. It’s something she also brings into her professional approach to help people join the dots.

We chat about Natasha’s love of school & finding interest in everything, manifestation & striking the balance between letting things happen vs making things happen, being political and marriage. Oh & dealing with ballbags on air!

I loved this conversation & was so grateful when Natasha said yes to being a guest - enjoy!

Catch Natasha on LBC on Saturday evenings & follow her on socials for sharp AF educational & informative content & facts.

“Don’t think if you haven’t got to where you want to be in your twenties it’s game over. Because it’s really not. You can achieve great things at any point in your life."

Solid advice from this week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ especially in a society obsessed with youth & achieving things whilst young.

Roxy Bourdillon (she/her) spent a decade bouncing between jobs, dealing with rejection & not knowing if she’d ever land her dream job of being a writer. Fast forward to today, Roxy is the Editor-in-Chief of DIVA, the world’s leading magazine for LGBTQIA+ women & non-binary people. And though she jokes during this conversation about people not taking advice from her given how long it took her to get where she wanted to be, Roxy Bourdillon is a shining example of why it’s so important to not give up on your dreams or write yourself off.

RIGHT NOW is also a super exciting time for Roxy as she’s written her debut book & it’s available to buy TOMORROW! ‘What a Girl Wants: A (True) Story of Sexuality and Self-Discovery’ is a funny feminist soul bearing memoir about what it was really like for Roxy growing up & navigating the world as a woman who happens to really really love women in a world that can sometimes make you feel terrible about both of those things. I had the privilege of reading it ahead of this conversation and trust me, it’s bloody funny AF but so so touching too. My review is below…

We chat all about the book & Roxy’s creative processes as well as her role at Diva magazine & the moment she landed her first writing job for it! We also explore Roxy’s passion for the LGBTQ+ community, life by the sea in Hasting with her partner Naomi, her love of Dolly Parton & her beautiful relationship with her Nan which you’ll truly feel when reading the book. This was such a gorgeous conversation - enjoy & go buy the book ASAP. It’s a must-read.

GO BUY WHAT A GIRL WANTS!! Ideally from your local queer book shop please.

My review of Roxy’s FANTASTIC debut book…

‘What a Girl Wants’ is packed full of heartwarming, heartbreaking & HILARIOUS moments & escapades from Roxy's life. It's a queer time-machine ride back to special places & spaces from a beloved time on the scene along with the most gayest, nostalgic cultural references you could wish for. It's a history lesson & a crucial call to action for allyship & solidarity. And finally, it's a deep, unapologetic & beautiful display of pure love & affection for women & the LGBTQ+ community".

“I wish I’d grew up in a household… in a world... that would have allowed me to live a softer life and be kinder to myself. To be more open. More trusting. But unfortunately, that’s just not how it was for me. And for many people.”

This is just part of my conversation with my guest for this week’s episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ as they reflect on their experience of growing up in an environment that didn’t allow much room for autonomy, freedom or individuality. Yes in their home life but as we also cover, more widely with societal expectations.

Benjy Kusi (he/him) is a wellbeing & inclusion consultant who is well-known for producing social media content that promotes kindness, justice & critical thinking. He’s also an author, public speaker & all round grafter who loves a side quest/ hustle/ mission. As a regular consumer of what Benjy puts out there, I was delighted he said yes to being a guest on the podcast. As shared above, we explore what life was like for ‘Little Benjy’ and how he learned to embrace his loudness & confidence as a form of protection, & later defiance, as a Black, queer kid.

He excitedly talks about finding freedom at university and explains how his early career in sales resulted in him being fired but that a detour into marketing & setting up an ERG, which he admits he didn’t quite appreciate the significance of to start with, has led to the Benjy we know & love now.

Benjy is all about creating the content, representation & visibility he needed. And still needs for himself & others. Especially as an out & proud Ghanaian. His drive & passion shine through and he likes to think that somehow, he’s creating an alternate universe where things could have been different without need to consider barriers around identity & race.

We also chat about our shared love of being active, the crucial difference between kindness & being nice, those who have shaped him along the way, his journey of self actualisation and lots more. Enjoy!

Find Benjy on Substack, Instagram, Tiktok & LinkedIn for regular, brilliant content!

Hope This Helps - How To Be Kinder To Yourself & Others is a must read. Grab it from an independent & queer book retailer if you can!

“I know that my parents loved me fiercely. I’m not sure if they liked me. And that dominated a lot of the relationships in my life & so that means that there was a wrongness in me.”

Feeling different growing up as a queer child is a common thread for many guests on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ This week’s guest echoes that.

Gray Burke-Stowe (he/him) is the Lead Researcher for Trans+ History Week so I get to work with him again this year as we veer towards year two, 5 - 11 May. With his academic background, love of literature, characters & history plus his self-confessed status as a ‘big nerd’, Gray is the driving force behind the Trans+ History Week Workbook which is fundamental to the overall objective - giving people the trans+ history lesson they never had.

Gray grew up in the south of America and though they were part of a big extended family, they felt they lived a fairly solitary existence within that. Intellectually, little Gray was above many of their classmates which led to further exclusion from regular activities at school - yet being just a child, he lacked the emotional maturity to understand why. Gray simply didn’t “fit the mould” and shares how he was often seen as an ‘intrusion’ or ‘challenge’. And he did challenge things too & talks about a successful school petition to start a drama club. He also reveals how he was acting before he’d even got on stage when it came to his queerness.

When Gray found himself in a church, he was subjected to conversion therapy - an experience he kept hidden for years. As life started to turn itself around at university, he was then coerced into an abusive relationship following an illness which was followed by addiction to opioids. Gray talks about ‘main character energy’ yet this was a period where he lost control of his life & story. Survival mode eventually led to him breaking free.

These days, so many things bring Gray joy - especially parenting his two children & he shares wonderful anecdotes & insights. We also dive into Gray’s distinction between sobriety & true recovery having been part of a queer centred recovery community focusing on shared trauma in identity. “If you have something to offer, offer it. If you need something, ask for it” are Gray’s words of wisdom that we should all take on board, especially given how demanding & divisive things feel right now.

This episode covers some challenging topics around mental health, conversion therapy & addiction so please take care of yourself whilst listening.

For news & updates on Trans+ History Week, subscribe to Queer AF & follow us on Instagram, Bluesky & LinkedIn! Download the Workbook too to hear more about the lessons covered + guidance on how you can organise activities & events to celebrate the week!

I credit this week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ with getting me involved with our LGBTQ+ staff network when we were colleagues which essentially kickstarted what I am doing now.

Terry Eastham (he/him) is a proud & loud LGBT+ activist. He’s the driving force behind much of London South Bank University’s Pride activities as well as being heavily involved in UNISON’s LGBT+ group where, as well as being Co-Chair of the Greater London Region LGBT+ group, he was also a member of the UNISON National LGBT+ Committee.

Whilst he can often be seen during Pride donning rainbow trainers, caps & tees, this hasn’t always been the case. In his own words, Terry “spent a long-time swimming down the river Denial” when it came to his sexuality - something which spurred his decision to join the armed forces back in the mid 80s. It was a time he reflects on with pride & joy & shares his proudest moment so far being his passing out parade. And even though the training was hell & despite the suspicions & invasive investigations for being gay, he fondly recalls the spirit of togetherness through the suffering. - “everyone is going through it with you”.

Terry finally stepped out of the closet at the age of 45 - a moment of pure relief. He shares an anecdote about coming out at a family dinner which references Cliff Richard & a game of Trivial Pursuit.

We chat about Terry’s love of London - the freedom & friendliness of the city, along with the magic that theatre brings him as a theatre reviewer. Terry & I share a passion for volunteering too having been some of the original volunteers for Queer Britain, the UK’s first & only dedicated LGBTQ+ museum. We explore his love of rules & willingness to break them on his terms, giving speeches & emotions. Terry describes himself as someone who just “goes through life” & doesn’t see him as remarkable - I beg to differ & I’m sure you will too. Enjoy!

Take care of yourself whilst listening as always as we cover some challenging topics.

“I was going on random forums & adding people as friends saying ‘I just want to hear your story’. They weren’t particularly mind blowing or interesting but just hearing people share what they’d been through made me really comforted.”

This simple act of interviewing people to help them understand their own experience for this guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ led to the creation of Love Queers, a community platform committed to shining a spotlight on the LGBTQ+ community. As well as two successful & truly brilliant podcasts, Queer Talk & Outsiders Talk, both of which champion the importance of intergenerational & intersectional conversations.

Spencer Cooper (them/them) reflects on the role of Love Queers in their own journey as it has just hit 50k followers - which they find somewhat baffling but also proud of what they’ve achieved. It also sparks a timely & frankly refreshing conversation about Spencer’s attitude towards social media. It’s something I personally needed to hear & if you’re like me, you probably do too.

In preparation for this interview, Spencer asked their parents what Little Spencer was like & essentially, that they were a troublemaker - or in Spencer’s own words ‘a little shit’ who liked to push people. We dive deep - really deep - into their childhood, their relationship with their parents & school life which sees Spencer firmly in the driving seat from a young age as they share anecdotes that highlight their confidence, independence & strategic thinking - traits that they’ve channelled & carried into adulthood. We also explore the complexities around bullying & becoming a bully. A brave & open admission that has shaped the Spencer we know today.

Intergenerational friendships are crucial to Spencer, describing them as a blessing, and they share why it’s so important as well as their thoughts on the concept of ‘respect’. We chat about Spencer’s big move from Rhyl to London, their love of Lilo & Stitch, watching WWE wrestling & why you should “just give yourself a fucking break!” Enjoy…

Oh & BTW Outsiders Talk series two, featuring Spencer’s co-host & last week’s guest Paula Harrowing, is on the horizon. Stay tuned!

As usual, this episode contains some challenging topics so take care of yourself whilst listening.

“The scene saved me on so many levels.” This week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ shares as she reflects on her love of the 90s LGBTQ+ scene. She truly deserves her status as Queer Clubland royalty.

As a Club Promoter & Host, Paula Harrowing (she/her) was a driving force behind some of London’s most popular nights, including Queer Nation & Fruit Machine, and particularly events for queer women. Being on the scene in the capital during the early 90s, which she describes as both finding her community & family as well as “chaos & colour”, meant Paula witnessed the rise of HIV & AIDS and with that, many of her friends falling ill & dying.

Whilst there was support for gay men at the time, Paula sprang into action to address the lack of support for women, teenagers & children being diagnosed & co-founded the support agency Body & Soul. As Director, Paula helped brought the conversation around HIV into the mainstream & worked with major organisations such as MTV, The Body Shop, Children in Need & Comic Relief.

All of which is well documented - she’s undoubtedly a nightlife legend & loves the disco. She recounts her first night on the queer scene & name drops Wham!, Kajagoogoo & Sylvester - oh to be a fly on the wall. Yet her origin story is just as RICH!

Paula was born in Eastbourne, to an English father & Burmese mother, but grew up in East Africa & South Africa. She shares anecdotes about safaris with her aunt & a rescue pet rhino. Her relationship with her mother was strained & she often found herself being palmed off or sent to boarding school. She always felt like an outsider - it’s something that she’s channelled throughout her life in the way she shows up for her community. Paula also co-host the brilliant podcast Outsiders Talk - an intergenerational conversation focused production - alongside Spencer Cooper (next week’s guest) which dives into the concept of being an outsider & how this is so common in the queer community.

There’s a brilliant anecdote about chasing Jeremy Irons for an autograph and Paula shares her move to London, early TV career, love for her father, passion for music & women, activism & the gay scene then compared to now plus the lesbian renaissance we’re seeing today - and yes, she loves to see it! Oh & stay tuned for Outsiders Talk series two…

This episode covers some tough topics including family issues, reflections on the HIV & AIDS crisis & life generally being quite challenging so please take care of yourself whilst listening & enjoy - it’s a cracking conversation!

This week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ was not a particularly ambitious teenager. It was generally teased that he likely wouldn’t go on to achieve anything great. Fast forward to today and three degrees, a published book & an Honorary Doctorate later, he’s the leading figure in integrating intersectionality, inclusion and equity in higher education systems, policy and programmes both nationally and internationally.

Dr Arun Verma (he/him) grew up in a big, working class family in Southwest London embedded in two very different cultures. His homelife was centred around Hinduism with the cultural celebrations & festivities that came with that. And on the flip side, his family were the only Indian family on the street & he went to a Church of England school. The two, he feels, were worlds which didn’t fit quite together and he felt both a sense of belonging but also displacement at times - initially from being the quiet one in the family & later with being gay.

Arun didn’t like being told what to do or what to learn. He originally wanted to be a jazz musician & reflects on his experiences on playing in jazz bands around London yet when it came to continuing this as a career, he felt he didn’t have the tenacity that others had.

Flitting between various roles & career focuses including marketing & counselling, he set his sights on research and eventually, after 20+ applications, he was accepted for a PhD at the University of Dundee after a long & gruelling interview process. This was a truly transformative experience for Arun - his discovery of intersectionality not only shaped his career, reputation & impact but became a personal journey & healthy metaphor for his own experiences. This also resulted in a full circle moment having been awarded an Honory Doctorate from Dundee last year during a special ceremony which he recounts.

We chat about the joy of community & working in DEI with amazing humans - and as someone who has got to work with Arun, I agree! - switching off, Arun’s pride in finishing what he starts & how essential disruption is. Enjoy!