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More than half of kids who've drunk alcohol under the age of 15 in the UK were offered it by their parents.

Alcohol has been proven to cause seven types of cancer, according the World Cancer Research. According to other research, the earlier kids try alcohol the higher the risk they'll indulge in binge drinking and any alcohol-related harm.

Parents don't want to harm their kids, so why are they giving them alcohol?

According to research done by Community Alcohol Partnerships, parents often assume their kids are going to drink so they would rather it happened at home.

To help us understand the issues, I invited Director of Community Alcohol Projects, Kate Winstanley, to talk through what we should be thinking as parents.

PRACTICAL TIPS:

• Encourage sports, hobbies, clubs and social activities that keep your kids active and fulfilled.
• Teenagers say boredom is a reason for drinking. Encourage them to get a holiday job or volunteer.
• Establish routines, like mealtimes, that mean you can spend some time together and talk to each other. This helps your child to feel they can come to you if they have a problem.
• Know the facts and laws about alcohol and can talk in a balanced and constructive way about the pros and cons of drinking.
• Talk and listen to your teenager. It is important that they hear your views and that you hear theirs.
• Use everyday opportunities, for example a storyline in a TV programme, as a prompt.
• Make sure the ground rules are clear. Have consequences for breaking rules and enforce them. READ MY BLOG ON CONSEQUENCES - https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/whats-going-on-when-our-boundaries-and-consequences-dont-seem-to-work/
• Know where they’re going and who they’re with.

OTHER RELEVANT HELP:

PARTIES: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parties-for-teens-and-tweens-invitations-gatecrashers-and-alcohol/

ALCOHOL: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/2-alcohol-how-to-discuss-it-and-staying-connected-should-we-be-letting-our-teenagers-drink-and-w/

CAP: https://www.communityalcoholpartnerships.co.uk/parents-carers/busting-the-myths

TALK ABOUT TRUST: https://talkabouttrust.org/parents-carers/

RISKS OF UNDERAGE DRINKING:

• Immediate risks such as injury, violence, suicide, risky sexual activity, and other substance use;
• Developmental risks for the brain, liver, skeleton, and endocrine system. In particular adolescence is a critical period in brain development and the effects of alcohol can lead to permanent consequences;
• Social risks, including an association with future involvement in crime and lower educational outcomes.
• Worse future drinking patterns: earlier drinking

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support.

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

Remember those years when your child followed you everywhere, and gazed at you with adoring eyes because you knew everything? Have they now turned into a teenager who simply grunts, or screams at you, when they occasionally emerge from their bedroom?

Changes in a teenage brain help them to develop abstract thinking and self-reflection but they also make them hyper-critical and keen to develop emotional distance so they can practice life without you around.

What to do: Daniel Siegel says we need to teach them to have reflective conversations:

• Numerous brain studies show that when we do this (either with someone else or in our own heads) it stimulates the integration of the prefrontal cortex where planning and problem solving takes place, and allows us to tune into others ie empathy.

How to do it: JoAnn Deak - Girls will be girls.

• Don’t assume or jump in straight away.
• Don’t move straight to the fix-it mode.
• Help them to explore what they’re saying.
• Leave some grey areas.
• Discuss strategies for action. Don't overreact. Once you’re in the strategy phase that’s when your knowledge can help inform the teenager’s decisions.
• Don’t be afraid to provide your moral/philosophical bottom line. There are so many grey areas it can be a relief to know there are some black and white’s.

Techniques: Parent Gym based on how to talk so your kids will listen.

• Super silence and active listening.

When to do it?

• Try to develop regular non-crisis moments where conversations can happen. Saying goodnight, car journeys, meal-times, fixing their bike.
• Listen to the news together to start a discussion. Get them to entertain you. What’s the gossip? What are you reading? What have you been watching? What’s your favourite music at the moment? Take a genuine interest in their answers.

Books, and materials, we've referenced:

• Brainstorm by Daniel Siegel
• How to talk so your Kids will listen; How to listen so your kids will talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
• Girls will be girls: Raising Confident and Courageous Daughters by JoAnn Deak
• Parent Gym coaching materials

Tangling with your teenager
Helen wrote 'My sixteen year old is dating and says he’s in love. What do I do if he brings her home and wants her to stay the night? Do I put them in the same room, or separate them?'

ISSUES:

• Explore your own feelings about it, and why? Convey them to your child.
• Talk to the other parents to find out how they feel about it. If they aren’t happy, talk to the son about what his alternatives

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support.

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

It's a rare luxury to have both my girls available for half an hour to record an episode, and when I do I love to talk about listeners questions. Poor Amelia had a really bad cold, but she was still keen to help, so sorry about the sniffles.

This time we talked about:

Puberty and Body Changes

• Helping girls navigate early stages of puberty
• Discussing body changes with daughters
• Approaches to talking about wearing first bras

Toxic Friendships

• Defining what makes a friendship toxic
• Recognizing unhealthy friendship dynamics
• Setting boundaries and knowing when to end a friendship
• Importance of self-worth in friendship.

"Pick Me" Girls

• Origin and meaning of the term
• Different interpretations of "pick me" behavior
• Internalized misogyny
• How the term is used to criticize or police women's behavior

Gender Dynamics

• Male gaze and body shaming
• Societal expectations for girls and boys
• Pressures to conform to certain behaviors
• Importance of being authentic

If you have any other questions for my girls don't feel shy about messaging us.

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support.

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk