Divorce and the death of a spouse naturally bring grief. But we don't always recognize the grief our kids also carry after walking through hard circumstances. Ron Deal talks with Stanley & Mryna Brown on how they navigated grief when they married. Stanley had lost his first wife to cancer, later remarried briefly, then divorced. Myrna had also been through a divorce and was a single mom for ten years before marrying Stanley. They both had two children who struggled with their own grief and loss. Through counseling, Stanley and Myrna began to understand more about their children’s grief and how to help them work through the unique grief each of them carried, allowing relationship building within the family to more easily develop.

Show Notes and Resources

• Watch Myrna's encouraging videos for your family!
• Watch the Griffies' story
• Learn about the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry
• Shop for books like In Their Shoes and The Smart Stepfamily
• Donate to FamilyLife Blended

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Every blended family navigates common stages on their way to finding familyness. It's not uncommon to experience the questioning stage, where you begin to doubt if you've made the right decision about your newly blended family, and you take a detour or two as you navigate your circumstances. Or perhaps you get stuck along the way as you walk through a crisis together. And what about the rewards stage? Wondering if you’ll ever get to that one?

Gayla Grace shares the six stages of stepfamily development, how to navigate each stage well, and what it takes to build loving, connected relationships along the way.

Show Notes and Resources

• Join us on the Love Like You Mean It Cruise!
• Watch Women and Blended Families
• Get details for The Summit on Stepfamily Ministry
• Learn more about Gayla

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Good co-parenting with a former spouse helps kids navigate life in two homes with greater ease. Ron Deal's conversation with Jay and Tammy Daughtry teaches us how to be parental partners, not angry associates, as we compartmentalize the pain from divorce and manage co-parenting through a businesslike relationship. They emphasized the importance of congenial handoffs during the parental exchange, biological time spent with biological parents/kids, recognizing unrealistic expectations of former spouse relationships, reframing sensitive days on the calendar to minimize emotional landmines, and understanding two dynamics often at play:

Bio fog—when a deep connection between biological parents and kids creates fog with the parent, who then often tolerates misbehavior.

Step vision—when an objective stepparent quickly identifies shortfalls in stepchildren and often communicates them harshly.

Show Notes and Resources

• Learn about the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry
• Find a qualified counselor
• Check out Jay & Tammy's resources
• Send a tax deductible gift

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Dr. John Townsend defines four essential character traits that individuals need to navigate life's challenges and demands. He shares with Ron Deal that these components are required for stronger relationships. We can help our children and stepchildren develop them and be resilient kids. 1) Attachment: the ability to trust and be vulnerable with others 2) Separation: the ability to have your own voice, which includes healthy boundary-setting 3) Integration: navigating both the positive and negative realities of life 4) Adulthood: the capacity to take responsibility, make sound decisions, and live a purposeful life.

Show Notes and Resources

• Access Dr. Townsend's TPRAT and other resources
• Search on and/or post to the blended ministry map
• Give a gift to support blended families
• Ron's trainings and events
• List of Recognized Providers

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The stepmom-stepdaughter relationship often includes competing loyalties and confusing dynamics and can be the hardest relationship to navigate when blending a family. Ron Deal talks with stepmom Jessica Pickens and her bonus daughter, Jayla, about their ongoing struggles, cutting through tension, which began early and continued for years, and how they finally built a loving, trusting relationship with one another.
Jayla explains how her position as a “Daddy’s girl” and her relationship with her own mother impacted her desire for a bonus mom. She didn’t respond well to Jessica’s nurturing, and tension escalated as she got older. In time, Jessica began to understand the complexity of their relationship, change her expectations, and parent Jayla differently. Slowly, their relationship moved toward understanding and love toward one another.

Show Notes and Resources

• New To Our Community? Here's a gift for you!
• Watch Women & Blended Families on YouTube
• Learn about Jessica and Blended Family Matters and their podcast
• Jessica and Jayla's podcast with Ron.
• Give a tax-deductible gift.
• Check out Ron's events.

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Tim and Olivia Smith brought six kids into their blended family in 1997. In their conversation with Ron Deal, they share the joys and challenges of melding together two families, how to encourage relationship building between siblings, and how stepparents can move from a place of isolation to a place of belonging in a stepfamily.

Tim’s daughter, Christie, joins the conversation with her perspective as a teenager from the early years of their blended family. Although the stepmom—stepdaughter relationship is often the hardest to connect, Christie shares how Olivia’s small actions of moving toward her and allowing her to engage at her own pace created a loving, long-lasting relationship that she treasures today as an adult.

Show Notes and Resources

• Get a copy of The Mindful Marriage.
• Get your copy of Blending-100 Day Guide for Step-Parents.
• Learn about Blended Not Broken
• Get our monthly newsletter

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Robert and Jennie Lord both grew up in blended families. They share their stories with Ron Deal about the residue left behind from the maze of parental divorce, multiple stepparents, challenges in relationship building, unwanted transitions, and ongoing instability. They’ve sought healing from those experiences and now want to share what they’ve learned with others.

Married with a family of their own, they are committed to their marriage and want to provide an upbringing for their children that is vastly different than what they experienced. They teach and model a life built on faith and seek to provide stability and build strong bonds with their children.

Show Notes and Resources

• Get the Blended & Blesses All-Access Digital Pass
• Blended resources for you!
• Learn more about Chosen and the work that Jenni does.
• Get a copy of The Mindful Marriage.
• Support FamilyLife Blended with a gift.

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Jennifer Maggio shares her story with Ron Deal of her challenges as a single mom that propelled her to begin a national ministry, serving over 1,000,000 single moms. Now married in a blended family, she continues the mission that no single mom walk alone.

Show Notes and Resources

• You can still register for Blended & Blessed!
• Learn more about Jennifer Maggio and her ministry.
• Get a copy of the book, Preparing to Blend.
• Support FamilyLife Blended with a gift.

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