Jake’s still decoding the messages in his coffee grounds, Danny’s fresh off stage with glitter in every crevice, and James has returned from holiday looking like a microwaved tomato. So naturally, chaos ensues. We kick things off with Have You Heard, where Jake tells the wild true story of a woman who literally learned to fly a helicopter to bust her husband out of prison. Forget Prison Break, this is Love Island: Maximum Security Edition.

Next up, it’s Agony Aunt, and the boys dig into one of the worst date disasters we’ve ever received. One word: skidmark. Another word: therapy. We’re talking Derry lads, dating humiliation, oinking fetishes, and a dog called Jeff who somehow has more followers (and charisma) than his owner. We wrap things up with Danny’s What the FAQ, where we learn the true meaning of “catawaling”—and then close the episode with two utterly vile Confessionals: one about a fart so foul it halted a courtroom, and another involving a family shower, a mystery poo, and one man’s deeply disturbing reaction.

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Intro and Outro: Living Kills - The Noise

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