Watch on Philo! - Philo.tv/DTH

You need to know something right off the bat: the Herdmans are the worst kids in the world. There’s Imogen, the eldest, then Ralph, Leroy, Claude, Ollie, and Gladys. They smoke. They curse. They bully. They’re just plain bad.

Enter Beth Bradley, our narrator. Early on, her locket gets stolen, and she prays to God to send the Herdmans far, far away.

Meanwhile, the church’s 75th annual Christmas pageant is coming up—it’s a big deal. Mrs. Armstrong, who’s directed it every year, breaks both her legs, so Beth’s mom, Grace, steps in. Despite all the skeptics, she boldly claims it’s going to be the best Christmas pageant ever.

Beth’s little brother Charlie has been getting bullied into giving Leroy Herdman his lunch cookies. Out of frustration, Charlie tells them he doesn’t even care—he gets all the snacks he wants at church.

Big mistake.

Leroy spreads the word to his siblings, and the next thing you know, the Herdmans show up at church. The pastor says they’ve got to attend Sunday school first—so they do.

But even more shocking than them staying is when Imogen declares she’s going to play Mary, and Ralph is going to be Joseph. The rest of the major roles? Also claimed by Herdmans. The other kids decide it’s probably best not to argue.

When the church community hears about this, they protest: You can’t let the Herdmans be in the pageant!

At the first rehearsal, Grace realizes something big—the Herdmans have never heard the story of Jesus. They’re stunned by it. They demand King Herod be included in the play… and that he be taken out.

Imogen ropes Beth into helping them research the story of Christmas at the library.

The final dress rehearsal is a mess. Imogen’s brothers hide the baby Jesus doll, the choir falls apart, and a fire alarm goes off. Everyone assumes Imogen pulled it—or that she was smoking in the bathroom. Turns out, something just burned in the oven.

Imogen overhears the townspeople badmouthing her family and decides they’re done. The Herdmans vanish.

The next day, Grace can’t get ahold of them. Beth goes to Imogen’s house and reminds her that Grace stuck up for them. Imogen gives no sign of what they’ll do. So that night, as Grace prepares to open the show, she tells the audience honestly—she has no idea what’s going to happen.

And then, just in time, the Herdmans show up.

They bring their own flair to the pageant: Imogen gently burps the baby doll, the Wise Men bring a ham, and Imogen even sheds a tear. The crowd is unexpectedly moved—they love it.

The film closes with a grown-up Beth now directing the Christmas pageant herself, carrying on the wild, wonderful legacy of the Herdmans.

Watch on Philo! - Philo.tv/DTH

Luke Skywalker has vanished!
And the First Order has taken control. All that's left is to find Luke and destroy him. Leia, Luke's sister, is searching for him. If she can find him, then there's still hope to bring some order and peace to the galaxy.

That takes us to the planet Jakku. We meet a pilot named Poe who is on a mission to retrieve a map. He has the map—something the First Order finds out. So they show up and start blasting, all "pew pew." Kylo Ren arrives, and he’s clearly the one in charge. He’s even got a voice thing like Darth Vader. He's awesome. He captures Poe, convinced he has the map. But Poe already gave it to his droid, BB-8.

We see one stormtrooper who seems to be struggling—maybe starting to doubt if he's on the right side of history. His name is FN-2187, but we’ll call him Finn.

Then we meet Rey. She’s out there grinding, scavenging for quarter portions. It’s tough out there. One evening, she finds BB-8 and likes him enough that she turns down an offer of 60 portions just to keep him.

Meanwhile, Kylo Ren uses the Force to learn more about BB-8. Finn decides he’s had enough and helps Poe escape—they steal a ship, but it’s shot down. Finn survives and assumes Poe was killed when the ship sinks into quicksand. All that’s left is Poe’s jacket.

Finn meets Rey and BB-8. The First Order is hot on their trail, so they steal the Millennium Falcon and escape.

Han Solo and Chewbacca track the Falcon and agree to team up with them.

We start to see Kylo Ren struggling with the pull of the light side. When Supreme Leader Snoke orders an attack on the New Republic, he senses Kylo’s hesitation. He suspects it's because of Kylo’s father… HAN SOLO! Kylo says it won’t be a problem, but then we see him speaking to Darth Vader’s helmet, asking for strength to stay on the dark side.

Aboard the Falcon, Han realizes that BB-8’s map is incomplete. He explains that Luke tried to rebuild the Jedi Order but went into exile after an apprentice turned to the dark side.

Han takes the group to meet Maz, a cantina owner, who offers to help get BB-8 to the Resistance. The Force draws Rey to an underground vault where she finds Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber. When she touches it, she has disturbing visions and decides not to take it. Maz gives the lightsaber to Finn for safekeeping.

The First Order attacks and tracks down the Falcon. They’re hunting for BB-8. Kylo captures Rey because he knows she’s seen the map.

Resistance fighters led by Poe arrive to save the others. And guess what—LEIA IS BACK, BABY!

Rey resists Kylo’s mind-reading attempts and realizes she may have the Force. She tries a Jedi mind trick on a stormtrooper—and it works. She escapes just before Kylo comes to take her to Snoke, who is not pleased.

The Resistance devises a plan to destroy the First Order’s new superweapon by targeting its weakness—because seriously, these guys never learn. Using the Falcon, Han, Chewbacca, and Finn infiltrate the base. Finn finds Rey, who’s already working on escaping, and they plant explosives.

Han confronts Kylo, calling him by his real name—Ben—and pleads with him to leave the dark side. Kylo, with tears on his cheeks, seems tempted… but then stabs Han through the chest with a lightsaber and lets him fall to his death. Chewbacca, enraged, shoots Kylo and injures him. They manage to escape while Rey and Finn head into the snowy woods.

Kylo follows. He knocks Rey out with the Force and duels Finn, eventually defeating him. Rey regains consciousness, uses the Force to call the lightsaber to her, and fights Kylo. She wins.

Chewbacca rescues Rey and the injured Finn, and they escape aboard the Falcon just as the First Order base explodes.

Back at the Resistance base, R2-D2 wakes up and reveals he has the missing piece of the map to Luke.

Rey travels to a remote island and finds Luke atop a cliff. She holds out his lightsaber.

Throughout the month of April, we're going to be highlighting some other shows that we are apart of creating! . This week, we're excited to announce the launch of our newest show....THE DISS LIST!

The Diss List officially launches on May 7th and you'll be able to listen wherever you listen to podcasts. Keep your eyes & ears pealed!

Coming soon: https://the-diss-list.simplecast.com