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Cults and the Culting of America

Cults and the Culting of America

By: Daniella Mestyanek Young
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 Daniella Mestyanek Young is a captivating figure in the study of cults and group psychology. Raised in the notorious Children of God cult, she escaped as a teenager and later joined the U.S. military, where she specialized in studying terrorists and other extreme groups as a military intelligence officer. Daniella holds a master's degree in Industrial/Organizational Psychology from Harvard Extension School and is the author of "Uncultured," a critically acclaimed memoir. Today, she is a scholar of cults, extreme groups, and toxic leadership, leveraging her unique experiences to illuminate the dynamics of cults and the manipulative tactics of charismatic leaders. Together with fellow cult survivor Scot Loyd, Daniella delves into the intricacies of some of the world's most notorious cults and reveals how these same manipulative techniques are present in various aspects of our society.2024 Social Sciences
Episodes
  • Episode 42 | "Not My Church": Plausible Deniability in High-Control Systems

    Episode 42 | "Not My Church": Plausible Deniability in High-Control Systems
    Jul 1 2025
    In this revealing and emotionally rich episode of Cults and the Culting of America, Cynthia Williams joins hosts Scot Loyd and Daniella Mestyanek Young to unpack her journey through—and out of—the United Pentecostal Church International (UPCI). Cynthia shares how, like many others, she once believed that her local church was different. The rules were strict, yes, but they felt spiritually justified—until the cracks began to show. As Cynthia puts it, the realization came slowly: “I think it's probably just in the last two years… that I finally was like, wait a minute, I think I was in a cult.” That moment of clarity is a turning point in the episode, as the conversation explores how UPCI and similar groups protect themselves through plausible deniability. “Not my church,” people say—oblivious or unwilling to confront the broader systemic harm. Cynthia describes how Bible college exposed her to both a deeper version of indoctrination and—paradoxically—the seeds of her exit. Through theology classes and critical thinking challenges, she began questioning the very doctrines that once gave her purpose. The episode also dives into her experience witnessing the tragic death of a teenage girl at Bible school—a loss that the church quickly co-opted into a martyrdom narrative, silencing Cynthia’s voice and rewriting the truth. Alongside moments of grief and spiritual disillusionment, the hosts discuss cult tactics like toxic positivity, spiritual bypassing, gendered control, and the recurring pattern of falling into other high-control environments even after leaving religion. From the military to corporate America, Cynthia’s story traces how these systems echo one another—and how healing requires naming those echoes for what they are. With warmth, honesty, and shared survivor wisdom, this episode is a candid look at what it means to say, “Maybe it was my church after all.” Daniella's Links: You can read all about my story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured For more info on me: Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8 Daniella’s Tiktok: Knitting Cult Lady Instagram: https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_ Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8 Other Podcasts Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women Scot's TikTok @thescotloyd Haley's Tiktok @nuancedmasculinities Key Take-Aways 🚩 On Cult Dynamics in UPCI: Rules varied by pastor but enforced absolute obedience, reinforcing the illusion of autonomy while maintaining tight control. Women were subjected to extreme modesty standards, with the specifics often shifting—creating confusion and deep internalization of shame and obedience. Plausible deniability ("not my church") was used to disguise systemic problems across UPCI. 👩‍🦰 On Gender & Power: Women in UPCI were expected to be either angelic “saints” or demonized “Jezebels”—no in-between. Women showing independence or intellect were often ostracized or tightly policed. Cynthia’s racial identity and outsider status gave her marginal freedom to step outside strict gender molds—but also made her invisible in some ways. 🧠 On Deconstruction & Identity: Bible school inadvertently helped Cynthia develop critical thinking, ultimately aiding her exit. Leaving the group meant not just losing community, but also certainty, purpose, and a framework for meaning. Like many ex-cult members, Cynthia found herself repeatedly drawn to similarly high-control environments even after leaving UPCI. 💥 On Trauma & Abuse: The murder of a student Cynthia mentored was mishandled by the church, which spun the event into a martyrdom narrative—silencing Cynthia and distorting the truth. This cover-up became a breaking point, highlighting the institution’s willingness to exploit tragedy for control and propaganda. Cynthia shares how old coping strategies like breaking into church songs still emerge under stress—signs of deep conditioning and dissociation. 🧵 On Community & Healing: A strong, emotionally safe partnership is key in Cynthia’s healing journey. Daniella highlights the concept of being an “invisible immigrant”—growing up in an insular religious world without cultural references or grounding in the outside world. They celebrate the comfort and solidarity found in the “ex-cult sisterhood”—a chosen family of people who get it. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Cult Experiences 03:10 Personal Journeys in the United Pentecostal Church 06:01 Expectations and Restrictions for Women 08:46 Identifying Cult-like Behaviors 11:54 The Role of Education in ...
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    58 mins
  • Episode 41 | Decolonizing Yourself with Hilary Giovale

    Episode 41 | Decolonizing Yourself with Hilary Giovale
    Jun 10 2025
    In this episode of Cults and the Culting of America, host Scot Loyd and Daniella Mestyanek-Young (KnittingCultLady) sit down with Hilary Giovale—a ninth-generation settler living among Indigenous communities in Northern Arizona. Hilary opens up about her journey from segregation to engaging deeply with Native communities, emphasizing how re-education and personal healing can unravel the lasting wounds of colonialism. Hilary discusses the trauma inflicted by Indigenous boarding schools and the persistent impact of white supremacy on both marginalized communities and white culture. By practicing ancestral reverence and focusing on actionable reparations—like supporting sacred landscape protection and Indigenous-led initiatives—Hilary and her guests illustrate the transformative power of honest dialogue and community-based healing. For more on Hilary’s work, listeners are encouraged to visit her website, GoodRelative.com. Hilary's Links: Her Book: Becoming a Good Relative Guide to Making a Personal Reparations Plan An Indigenous Peoples History of the United States, by Roxanne Dunbar-OrtizMy Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies, by Resmaa Menakem Reclaiming Our Indigenous European Roots, by Lyla June JohnstonListeners can donate to the Native American Boarding School Healing Coalition to support the continued research and documentation Daniella's Links: You can read all about my story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured For more info on me: Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8 Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/4bwvNC0 Instagram: https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_ Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8 Other Podcasts Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women Scot's TikTok @thescotloyd Haley's Tiktok @nuancedmasculinities Takeaways Transformative Re-education: Hilary shares her journey from a segregated existence to building respectful relationships with Indigenous communities. Boarding School Trauma: The discussion highlights the deep and enduring pain caused by Indigenous boarding schools and their impact on cultural identity. Confronting White Supremacy: The conversation emphasizes the need to recognize and dismantle the harmful legacy of white supremacy, both for marginalized people and within white culture itself. Humility and Listening: Hilary stresses the importance of approaching new communities with genuine curiosity, humility, and a readiness to learn rather than impose. Ancestral Healing Practices: The practice of ancestral reverence—such as maintaining an ancestor altar—is offered as a powerful tool for personal and collective healing. Community-Based Action: The episode underlines the significance of supporting sacred landscape protection, Indigenous-led initiatives, and creating personal reparations plans as crucial steps toward healing. Produced by Haley Phillips
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    57 mins
  • Episode 40 | Scot wrote a book!

    Episode 40 | Scot wrote a book!
    Jun 3 2025
    This week on Cults and the Culting of America, we’re turning the mic toward someone you all know well—our beloved cohost, Scot Loyd. With no guest this episode, Daniella takes the opportunity to spotlight Scot’s powerful personal journey and upcoming book, The God That I Was Given. In an open and layered conversation, Scot reflects on his years inside the United Pentecostal Church, his rise to leadership, and what it meant to deconstruct the faith and ideologies that shaped him. He and Daniella discuss the gendered nature of cult experiences, the silence often expected of men, and how writing becomes both a weapon and a lifeline for survivors. They also dig deep into the racist roots of Pentecostalism, the enduring myth of white Christian victimhood, and how cult dynamics echo through American politics today. Whether you’ve been here since episode one or are just tuning in, this intimate episode offers a closer look at Scot’s story and the broader systems of power so many of us are still trying to untangle. Daniella's Links: You can read all about my story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured For more info on me: Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8 Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/4bwvNC0 Instagram: https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_ Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8 Other Podcasts Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women Scot's TikTok @thescotloyd Haley's Tiktok @nuancedmasculinities Takeways Even Survivors Can Be Complicit Scot reflects on how he not only endured harm within the United Pentecostal Church but also perpetuated it as a preacher and leader. His journey involves confronting both victimhood and complicity—a nuanced look at accountability in high-control systems. Patriarchy Shields Men from Cult Harm—and From Speaking Out The conversation explores why fewer men write cult survivor memoirs: patriarchal systems often cushion men from the worst abuses and discourage emotional vulnerability, leaving their stories underrepresented. Faith Deconstruction Is Not Bitterness—It’s Clarity Scot addresses the accusation that leaving high-control religion makes you “bitter.” Drawing on biblical stories (like Naomi in Ruth), he reframes bitterness as a justified and even holy reaction to harm—and a fuel for transformation. Cults Mirror American Systems of Power The episode draws strong parallels between cult dynamics and systemic issues in the U.S., including white supremacy, evangelical nationalism, and the cult of personality around political figures like Donald Trump. Telling the Truth Is a Radical Act Both hosts emphasize the importance of sharing honest, unvarnished stories to give future generations language and context for their own experiences—and to challenge whitewashed versions of history. The Tools Used to Indoctrinate Can Be Used to Liberate Scot talks about reclaiming the skills he developed in church—preaching, writing, public speaking—to critique the very systems that shaped him. Daniella echoes this with her own story, highlighting the healing power of storytelling. Cult Experiences Are Strikingly Universal While each cult has its own doctrine or dogma, the episode highlights the common traits—performance culture, black-and-white thinking, suppression of autonomy—that unite cult survivors across backgrounds. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Book Projects 03:26 Exploring Gender Perspectives in Cult Experiences 06:37 The Unraveling of Beliefs and Personal Reflection 09:27 The Role of Education in Leaving Cults 12:20 Writing as a Tool for Healing and Reflection 15:36 Navigating the Complexity of Cult Narratives 18:24 Confronting the Charge of Bitterness 21:17 The Power of Personal Stories in Cult Recovery 24:25 The Importance of Documenting Experiences for Future Generations 31:56 The Burden of Representation in Cults 35:18 Historical Narratives and Cultural Spin 39:56 The Roots of Pentecostalism and Racism 44:39 The Legacy of Racism in American Christianity 49:40 Cult of Personality vs. Cult of Ideas 56:11 The Current Political Climate and Its Cult-like Dynamics Produced by Haley Phillips
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    1 hr and 1 min
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