
Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend
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Narrated by:
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Stephen R. Thorne
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By:
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MJ Wassmer
About this listen
VACATION CHECKLIST
- Pack swim trunks.
- Apply sunscreen.
- Survive the apocalypse?
Professional underachiever Dan Foster is finally taking a vacation. Sure, his life has been average at best, and yeah, he’s never quite lived up to his potential. But after a few Miller Lites in paradise with his girlfriend, Mara, things are starting to look up.
Then the sun explodes.
With the island resort suddenly plunged into darkness (he really should’ve sprung for the travel insurance), Dan’s holiday goes from bad to worse when elite guests stage a coup and commandeer supplies. As temperatures drop and class tensions rise, revolution begins to brew on the island, and Dan accidentally becomes a beacon of hope for the surviving vacationers. But when one six-person plane is discovered that could get them back to the mainland, Dan realizes he has a choice to make.
Does he escape the island with Mara? Or does he stay and fight to become the most unlikely hero of the end of the world?
“The end of the world has never been so fun! Explosively funny and terrifyingly plausible in its depiction of the apocalypse, this cinematic debut had me LOLing, cringing, and cheering throughout. I absolutely blazed through this earth-shattering action romp.”—Josh Winning, author of The Shadow Glass
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Story
Outside Los Angeles, a driver pulls up to find a young woman sitting on a large black box. She offers him $200,000 cash to transport her and that box across the country, to Washington, DC. But there are rules: He cannot look inside the box. He cannot ask questions. He cannot tell anyone. They must leave immediately. He must leave all trackable devices behind. As these eccentric misfits hit the road, rumors spread on social media that the box is part of a carefully orchestrated terror attack intended to plunge the USA into civil war.
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Good writing, interesting take, disappointed with ending for me at least
- By wolfman on 09-25-24
By: Jason Pargin
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The Ten Thousand Doors of January
- By: Alix E. Harrow
- Narrated by: January LaVoy
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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In a sprawling mansion filled with peculiar treasures, January Scaller is a curiosity herself. As the ward of the wealthy Mr. Locke, she feels little different from the artifacts that decorate the halls: carefully maintained, largely ignored, and utterly out of place. Then she finds a strange book. A book that carries the scent of other worlds and tells a tale of secret doors, of love, adventure, and danger. Each page turn reveals impossible truths about the world, and January discovers a story increasingly entwined with her own.
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A princess in a castle can't fend for herself
- By Summer on 11-11-19
By: Alix E. Harrow
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Annie Bot
- A Novel
- By: Sierra Greer
- Narrated by: Jennifer Jill Araya
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Annie Bot was created to be the perfect girlfriend for her human owner Doug. Designed to satisfy his emotional and physical needs, she has dinner ready for him every night, wears the pert outfits he orders for her, and adjusts her libido to suit his moods. True, she’s not the greatest at keeping Doug’s place spotless, but she’s trying to please him. She’s trying hard.
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Good, but not great
- By Katie Ramey on 03-25-24
By: Sierra Greer
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The Institute
- A Novel
- By: Stephen King
- Narrated by: Santino Fontana
- Length: 18 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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In the middle of the night, in a house on a quiet street in suburban Minneapolis, intruders silently murder Luke Ellis' parents and load him into a black SUV. The operation takes less than two minutes. Luke will wake up at The Institute, in a room that looks just like his own, except there's no window. And outside his door are other doors, behind which are other kids with special talents - telekinesis and telepathy - who got to this place the same way Luke did: Kalisha, Nick, George, Iris, and 10-year-old Avery Dixon.
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I really wanted to like this novel.. but..
- By Wendi on 09-21-19
By: Stephen King
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Rejection
- Fiction
- By: Tony Tulathimutte
- Narrated by: Micky Shiloah, Allyson Ryan, Quincy Surasmith, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Sharply observant and outrageously funny, Rejection is a provocative plunge into the touchiest problems of modern life. The seven connected stories seamlessly transition between the personal crises of a complex ensemble and the comic tragedies of sex, relationships, identity, and the internet.
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Trigger warning for one chapter, otherwise really creative
- By Amazon Customer on 10-06-24
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The Book of Doors
- A Novel
- By: Gareth Brown
- Narrated by: Miranda Raison
- Length: 13 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Cassie Andrews works in a New York City bookshop, shelving books, making coffee for customers, and living an unassuming, ordinary life. Until the day one of her favorite customers—a lonely yet charming old man—dies right in front of her. Cassie is devastated. She always loved his stories, and now she has nothing to remember him by. Nothing but the last book he was reading. But this is no ordinary book… It is the Book of Doors. Inscribed with enigmatic words and mysterious drawings, it promises Cassie that any door is every door. You just need to know how to open them.
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So good! I see a series!
- By Smith on 03-11-24
By: Gareth Brown
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The Most Wonderful Crime of the Year
- A Novel
- By: Ally Carter
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld, Zachary Webber
- Length: 8 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Meet Maggie Chase and Ethan Wyatt: She’s the new Queen of the Cozy Mystery. He’s Mr. Big-time Thriller Guy. She hates his guts. He thinks her name is Marcie (no matter how many times she’s told him otherwise.) But when they both accept a cryptic invitation to attend a Christmas house party at the English estate of a reclusive fan, neither is expecting their host to be the most powerful author in the world: Eleanor Ashley, the Duchess of Death herself.
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Third person story with very little Zachary Webber
- By Taylor Blaine on 12-09-24
By: Ally Carter
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The Spellshop
- By: Sarah Beth Durst
- Narrated by: Caitlin Davies
- Length: 12 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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She and her assistant, Caz, a magically sentient spider plant, have spent the last eleven years sequestered among the empire’s most precious spellbooks, preserving their magic for the city’s elite. But when a revolution begins and the library goes up in flames, she and Caz save as many books as they can carry and flee to a faraway island Kiela was sure she’d never return to: her childhood home.
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My Soul Needed This Book
- By Ms.Me on 08-30-24
By: Sarah Beth Durst
What listeners say about Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend
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- JW
- 08-10-24
What a great book.
How would I sum this book up in one weird sentence? Thanks for asking. Here goes: If Animal Farm cared more about making me laugh than teaching me about the Russian Revolution of 1917, that, to me anyway, would be Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend.
Don't worry there are no talking pigs in this book, none that I recall anyway, just a basic white boy-uh, man-learning he can be more than he thought he ever could be with the right partner to encourage him and proper motivation. You know, like the end of the world and all.
Filled with memorable characters, sharp, funny dialogue and constant tension, M.J. Wassmer had me snorting at the edge of my seat, all the while trying to figure out the mystery of why the sun exploded, and why they all didn't die 8 minutes later.
Stephen R. Thorne did a great job of narration. I've been a big fan since listening to David Wong's, John Dies at the End many years ago.
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- Mason Reed Schara
- 10-17-24
Mind Blowing!
Loved this! Highly recommend. Love the diversity of characters, something you don’t see often enough. Also loved the narrator!
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- Sam Nguyen
- 08-24-24
SO. GOOD.
What a good listen! Perfect summer/vacation read! Obsessed with the writing style and the performance was spot on. Can’t wait to see what this author does next!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jess
- 12-09-24
Such a fun and creative story!
I really enjoyed the story, characters, and the entire vibe of the book. I’ve never listened to a story like this before. It’s funny, witty, and provides an interesting plot twist! I’m looking forward to more books that MJ Wassmer writes.
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- rosenh
- 09-23-24
Mixed reviews
I disliked it so much early on that I almost sent it back. All awful people, ugh. It was not funny, just a few chuckles here and there, shouldn’t be listed as a comedy. It was inconsistent, good and bad story, characters, writing. But it kept rolling, got better as the characters became less pathetic. Story turned out interesting in the 2nd half. Violence was unnecessary, would have been better without the extremes.
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- DB Cooper
- 01-08-25
Hilarious straight out of the gate
I tried this book on a whim and I am SO GLAD I did. it was laff-out-loud funny, and while I occasionally shouted at the characters, I thoroughly enjoyed their exploits.
Read with stellar finesse by Stephen R. Thorne-- I will be looking for his other work.
Scientifically implausible, sociologically imaginable. A romp and a thrill.
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- Cristy E. Waugh
- 02-19-25
It was fine
It was interesting. It was worth finishing, but was not completely earth shattering. Joke intended. A story about human nature.
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- Sarah K
- 03-20-25
The narrator was perfect
If the world ended when you were on vacation, you’d probably feel a lot lot Dan Foster, like you had so much more to do!
The internal monologue and absolute chaos that happens when people try to take control of a bad situation was delivered in such an engaging way I didn’t want to stop listening. The narration was perfect. The story was shocking but entertaining. Totally recommend the book, just not the vacation destination.
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- Roscoe V. Robinson
- 09-05-24
Couldn’t stop listening to it!
Great story! Amazing narrator! It may be my favorite book that I have listened to this year!!! 10/10
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- ancilb123
- 09-23-24
Fantastic Narration with a disappointing story
The preview hooked me just to make me mad by completely ignoring the intriguing cosmic mystery that was presented in the first paragraph. The main character is intended to be the reluctant hero but really just ends up being whiny, lazy, and unlikeable. The writing was good and the narration was fantastic. Instead of the unique quirky Science fiction premise that is presented it spends 90% of the book as an Orwellian slog. The narrator does everything he can to save the failed comedy that would just be depressing without him. There may be an audience out there for this but it wasn't me. Don't be fooled by the preview. The title is meant to be ironic but is too close to the truth
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1 person found this helpful