
You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News
Shocking but Utterly True Facts
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $14.61
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Johnny Heller
-
By:
-
Cracked.com
About this listen
You're going to wish you never got this audiobook. Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in: A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain. The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt. Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you. The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD. Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this audiobook? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.
©2011 Cracked.com (P)2014 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
-
Stuff You Should Know
- An Incomplete Compendium of Mostly Interesting Things
- By: Josh Clark, Chuck Bryant
- Narrated by: Chuck Bryant, Josh Clark
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the duo behind the massively successful and award-winning podcast Stuff You Should Know comes an unexpected look at things you thought you knew. Josh Clark and Chuck Bryant started the podcast Stuff You Should Know back in 2008 because they were curious - curious about the world around them, curious about what they might have missed in their formal educations, and curious to dig deeper on stuff they thought they understood.
-
-
Fails as an audio book.
- By Sarah H on 12-10-20
By: Josh Clark, and others
-
How to Survive History
- How to Outrun a Tyrannosaurus, Escape Pompeii, Get Off the Titanic, and Survive the Rest of History's Deadliest Catastrophes
- By: Cody Cassidy
- Narrated by: Dennis Boutsikaris
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
History is the most dangerous place on earth. From dinosaurs the size of locomotives to meteors big enough to sterilize the planet, from famines to pandemics, from tornadoes to the Chicxulub asteroid, the odds of human survival are slim but not zero—at least, not if you know where to go and what to do. In each chapter of How to Survive History, Cody Cassidy explores how to survive one of history’s greatest threats: getting eaten by dinosaurs, being destroyed by the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs, succumbing to the lava flows of Pompeii, being devoured by the Donner Party, and more.
-
-
A fun, light romp
- By Ron on 03-11-24
By: Cody Cassidy
-
The United States of Absurdity
- Untold Stories from American History
- By: Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, Patton Oswalt - foreword
- Narrated by: Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The creators of the podcast The Dollop present profiles of the weird, outrageous, NSFW, and downright absurd tales from American history that you weren't taught in school. The United States of Absurdity presents short, informative, and hilarious stories of the most outlandish (but true) people, events, and more from United States history.
-
-
Fun With Useless Facts
- By Keith on 05-21-17
By: Dave Anthony, and others
-
Mind = Blown
- Amazing Facts About This Weird, Hilarious, Insane World
- By: Matthew Santoro
- Narrated by: Matthew Santoro
- Length: 4 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Matthew Santoro's originality and humor have attracted millions of fans, making him a beloved YouTube star. His weekly videos on amazing and little-known facts are eagerly anticipated by his many subscribers and followers around the world. In his first-ever book, Matthew's love of weird and wacky knowledge explodes with new facts and stories from around the planet and beyond. Surprising and always entertaining, Mind = Blown offers even more of Matthew's unique take on this hilarious, crazy world.
-
-
Not a horrible book- just super fluffy
- By ellie on 08-11-16
By: Matthew Santoro
-
And Then You're Dead
- What Really Happens If You Get Swallowed by a Whale, Are Shot from a Cannon, or Go Barreling over Niagara
- By: Cody Cassidy, Paul Doherty
- Narrated by: Dennis Boutsikaris
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A gleefully gruesome look at the actual science behind the most outlandish, cartoonish, and impossible deaths you can imagine. What would happen if you took a swim outside a deep-sea submarine wearing only a swimsuit? How long could you last if you stood on the surface of the sun? How far could you actually get in digging a hole to China? Paul Doherty, senior staff scientist at San Francisco's famed Exploratorium Museum, and writer Cody Cassidy explore the real science behind these and other fantastical scenarios.
-
-
perfect for a precocious 9 year old boy
- By Kerith Strano Taylor on 05-15-17
By: Cody Cassidy, and others
-
Ask a Historian
- 50 Surprising Answers to Things You Always Wanted to Know
- By: Greg Jenner
- Narrated by: Dan Schreiber, Greg Jenner, Janina Ramirez, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Responding to fifty genuine questions from the public, Greg Jenner takes you on an entertaining tour through history from the Stone Age to the Swinging Sixties, revealing the best and most surprising stories, facts and historical characters from the past. From ancient joke books, African empires and the invention of meringues, to mummies, mirrors and menstrual pads—Ask A Historian is a deliciously amusing and informative smorgasbord of historical curiosities.
-
-
best bonus content ever!
- By Matthew K Wendelken on 03-24-22
By: Greg Jenner
-
Stuff You Should Know
- An Incomplete Compendium of Mostly Interesting Things
- By: Josh Clark, Chuck Bryant
- Narrated by: Chuck Bryant, Josh Clark
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the duo behind the massively successful and award-winning podcast Stuff You Should Know comes an unexpected look at things you thought you knew. Josh Clark and Chuck Bryant started the podcast Stuff You Should Know back in 2008 because they were curious - curious about the world around them, curious about what they might have missed in their formal educations, and curious to dig deeper on stuff they thought they understood.
-
-
Fails as an audio book.
- By Sarah H on 12-10-20
By: Josh Clark, and others
-
How to Survive History
- How to Outrun a Tyrannosaurus, Escape Pompeii, Get Off the Titanic, and Survive the Rest of History's Deadliest Catastrophes
- By: Cody Cassidy
- Narrated by: Dennis Boutsikaris
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
History is the most dangerous place on earth. From dinosaurs the size of locomotives to meteors big enough to sterilize the planet, from famines to pandemics, from tornadoes to the Chicxulub asteroid, the odds of human survival are slim but not zero—at least, not if you know where to go and what to do. In each chapter of How to Survive History, Cody Cassidy explores how to survive one of history’s greatest threats: getting eaten by dinosaurs, being destroyed by the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs, succumbing to the lava flows of Pompeii, being devoured by the Donner Party, and more.
-
-
A fun, light romp
- By Ron on 03-11-24
By: Cody Cassidy
-
The United States of Absurdity
- Untold Stories from American History
- By: Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, Patton Oswalt - foreword
- Narrated by: Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The creators of the podcast The Dollop present profiles of the weird, outrageous, NSFW, and downright absurd tales from American history that you weren't taught in school. The United States of Absurdity presents short, informative, and hilarious stories of the most outlandish (but true) people, events, and more from United States history.
-
-
Fun With Useless Facts
- By Keith on 05-21-17
By: Dave Anthony, and others
-
Mind = Blown
- Amazing Facts About This Weird, Hilarious, Insane World
- By: Matthew Santoro
- Narrated by: Matthew Santoro
- Length: 4 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Matthew Santoro's originality and humor have attracted millions of fans, making him a beloved YouTube star. His weekly videos on amazing and little-known facts are eagerly anticipated by his many subscribers and followers around the world. In his first-ever book, Matthew's love of weird and wacky knowledge explodes with new facts and stories from around the planet and beyond. Surprising and always entertaining, Mind = Blown offers even more of Matthew's unique take on this hilarious, crazy world.
-
-
Not a horrible book- just super fluffy
- By ellie on 08-11-16
By: Matthew Santoro
-
And Then You're Dead
- What Really Happens If You Get Swallowed by a Whale, Are Shot from a Cannon, or Go Barreling over Niagara
- By: Cody Cassidy, Paul Doherty
- Narrated by: Dennis Boutsikaris
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A gleefully gruesome look at the actual science behind the most outlandish, cartoonish, and impossible deaths you can imagine. What would happen if you took a swim outside a deep-sea submarine wearing only a swimsuit? How long could you last if you stood on the surface of the sun? How far could you actually get in digging a hole to China? Paul Doherty, senior staff scientist at San Francisco's famed Exploratorium Museum, and writer Cody Cassidy explore the real science behind these and other fantastical scenarios.
-
-
perfect for a precocious 9 year old boy
- By Kerith Strano Taylor on 05-15-17
By: Cody Cassidy, and others
-
Ask a Historian
- 50 Surprising Answers to Things You Always Wanted to Know
- By: Greg Jenner
- Narrated by: Dan Schreiber, Greg Jenner, Janina Ramirez, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Responding to fifty genuine questions from the public, Greg Jenner takes you on an entertaining tour through history from the Stone Age to the Swinging Sixties, revealing the best and most surprising stories, facts and historical characters from the past. From ancient joke books, African empires and the invention of meringues, to mummies, mirrors and menstrual pads—Ask A Historian is a deliciously amusing and informative smorgasbord of historical curiosities.
-
-
best bonus content ever!
- By Matthew K Wendelken on 03-24-22
By: Greg Jenner
-
What If? 2
- Additional Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions
- By: Randall Munroe
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 6 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The millions of people around the world who loved What If? still have questions, and those questions are getting stranger. Thank goodness xkcd creator Randall Munroe is here to help. Planning to ride a fire pole from the Moon back to Earth? The hardest part is sticking the landing. Hoping to cool the atmosphere by opening everyone’s freezer door at the same time? Maybe it’s time for a brief introduction to thermodynamics. Want to know what would happen if you rode a helicopter blade, made a lava lamp out of lava, or jumped on an erupting geyser? Okay, if you insist.
-
-
Interesting book, horrible narrator
- By Peter on 02-18-24
By: Randall Munroe
-
How to Take Over the World
- Practical Schemes and Scientific Solutions for the Aspiring Supervillain
- By: Ryan North
- Narrated by: Ryan North
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Bestselling author and award-winning comics writer Ryan North has the answers. In this introduction to the science of comic-book supervillainy, he details a number of outlandish villainous schemes that harness the potential of today’s most advanced technologies. Picking up where How to Invent Everything left off, his explanations are as fun and elucidating as they are completely absurd.
-
-
A hilarious exploration of selfish altruism
- By jjordanpalmer on 09-07-22
By: Ryan North
-
Gory Details
- By: Erika Engelhaupt
- Narrated by: Mari Weiss
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Filled to the brim with far-out facts, this wickedly informative narrative from the author of National Geographic's popular Gory Details blog takes us on a fascinating journey through an astonishing new reality. Blending humor and journalism in the tradition of Mary Roach, acclaimed science reporter Erika Engelhaupt investigates the gross, strange, and morbid absurdities of our bodies and our universe.
-
-
Feels like old school Discovery channel
- By Anonymous User on 02-15-23
By: Erika Engelhaupt
-
The Fun Knowledge Encyclopedia
- The Crazy Stories Behind the World's Most Interesting Facts - Trivia Bill's General Knowledge, Volume 1
- By: Bill O'Neill
- Narrated by: Rob Maxwell
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Are you the trivia buff in your friend group? Maybe you're just always hoping to learn more random facts to keep up your sleeve. Whether you're a regular trivia fanatic or someone looking for a fun audiobook to listen to, this audiobook goes beyond the scope of general knowledge into some of the most interesting facts and intriguing trivia tidbits out there.
-
-
this book is awesome!
- By TinkerMel on 09-27-17
By: Bill O'Neill
-
Who Ate the First Oyster?
- The Extraordinary People Behind the Greatest Firsts in History
- By: Cody Cassidy
- Narrated by: Dennis Boutsikaris
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Who wore the first pants? Who painted the first masterpiece? Who first rode the horse? Who invented soap? This madcap adventure across ancient history uses everything from modern genetics to archaeology to uncover the geniuses behind these and other world-changing innovations. With a sharp sense of humor and boundless enthusiasm for the wonders of our ancient ancestors, Who Ate the First Oyster? profiles the perpetrators of the greatest firsts and catastrophes of prehistory.
-
-
It could be better...
- By Alex on 04-06-21
By: Cody Cassidy
-
A Dirty Job
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Fisher Stevens
- Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
People start dropping dead around Charlie, giant ravens perch on his building, and it seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death.
-
-
Great Listen!
- By Janie on 03-24-06
-
Now I Know
- The Revealing Stories Behind the World's Most Interesting Facts
- By: Dan Lewis
- Narrated by: Jeremy Arthur
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Did you know that there are actually 27 letters in the alphabet, or that the U.S. had a plan to invade Canada? And what actually happened to the flags left on the moon? Even if you think you have a handle on all things trivia, you're guaranteed a big surprise with Now I Know. From uncovering what happens to lost luggage to New York City's plan to crack down on crime by banning pinball, this book will challenge your knowledge of the fascinating stories behind the world's greatest facts.
-
-
Scientifically inaccurate
- By Sara on 12-04-20
By: Dan Lewis
-
God Is Disappointed in You
- By: Mark Russell, Shannon Wheeler
- Narrated by: James Urbaniak
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers.
-
-
IT'S BETTER TO BE A LIVING DOG, THAN A DEAD LION
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 08-18-17
By: Mark Russell, and others
-
How to Fight Presidents
- Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This Country
- By: Daniel O'Brien
- Narrated by: Richard McGonagle
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life.
-
-
Absolutely One of the Funniest Books on Audible.
- By Josh on 03-24-14
By: Daniel O'Brien
-
Funny You Should Ask...
- Your Questions Answered by the QI Elves
- By: The QI Elves, James Harkin, Anne Miller, and others
- Narrated by: John Lloyd, The QI Elves, James Rawson, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Funny You Should Ask... features the QI Elves' answers to 200 questions on topics ranging from goosebumps to gherkins and everything in-between. Generously sprinkled with mind-boggling extra facts from the Elves, this is essential listening for the incurably curious.
-
-
Short and chewing noises
- By JustMe on 01-21-23
By: The QI Elves, and others
-
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
- By: Douglas Adams
- Narrated by: Stephen Fry
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Seconds before the Earth is demolished to make way for a galactic freeway, Arthur Dent is plucked off the planet by his friend Ford Prefect, a researcher for the revised edition of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy who, for the last 15 years, has been posing as an out-of-work actor.
-
-
HHTGH - Lightly Fried
- By J. Medany on 05-08-05
By: Douglas Adams
-
John Quincy Adams
- By: Harlow Giles Unger
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
He fought for Washington, served with Lincoln, witnessed Bunker Hill, and sounded the clarion against slavery on the eve of the Civil War. He negotiated an end to the War of 1812, engineered the annexation of Florida, and won the Supreme Court decision that freed the African captives of La Amistad. He served his nation as minister to six countries, secretary of state, senator, congressman, and president. John Quincy Adams was all of these things and more. In this masterful biography, award-winning author Harlow Giles Unger reveals Adams as a towering figure in the nation’s formative years.
-
-
Informative and well written.
- By Gotta Tellya on 08-20-14
Critic reviews
What listeners say about You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News
Highly rated for:
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kathleen Smith-Bernat
- 11-08-14
Don't let the title fool you
Where does You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
It is right up there. Kept my interest and was entertaining
What did you like best about this story?
Learning fascinating facts about things you thought were true only to learn history is not always the way it seems.
Which scene was your favorite?
Nothing sticks out, enjoyed everything
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
Yes it made me laugh
Any additional comments?
A fun book about history figures and events that are totally different from what I have heard or read. Just goes to show not everything is the way history books would have you believe.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Jeffery Yelton
- 02-22-16
entertaining!
worth multiple listens.
funny as well as educational. a definite recommendation to all who enjoy off the wall trivia.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- B. Grierson
- 08-03-15
Hilarious
While mostly just a collection of already printed Cracked.com articles, it's wonderfully hilarious to listen to while on a drive. At first, I wasn't thrilled with the narrator, but he grew on me and the more I listened, the more I realized he was perfect for the position.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Nina Tassin
- 03-25-15
One of the best books I have ever read.
I love this type of book but there are so few. I found this book to be interesting and I never lost interest in other words I found all of the chapters interesting.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
- Randall
- 12-30-17
Asd
Very funny great book idea i do not have anything else to write why 14 words
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Tony E.
- 02-03-16
When you need Cracked.com articles in your ear
Where does You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
It is pretty funny and engaging. It is articles from Cracked.com thrown into a book. I'm glad I got it as the deal of the day because while I found it funny and engaging, if I would have paid full price for it, I would have second thoughts. I usually like browsing the cracked articles but this can be a bit overwhelming if you aren't careful.
Which scene was your favorite?
The baddest, most awesome presidents of the United States was a good article.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
I probably could but would not retain much after.
Any additional comments?
It's a good listen for mindless entertainment.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Linda
- 11-02-23
Laughed out loud!
I couldn’t stop listening to this book! I wish that I hadn’t heard it do that I could listen again! Loved it❤️
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Trudy L. Soura
- 10-02-14
Im dying here,this needs to be twice as long !!!!
The funniest thing ive heard ! You really have to hear it.Its funnier then George Carlin !
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
13 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Dale
- 01-29-16
Funny
Good to the last story. Easy listening. plus very funny. Well worth the your time.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- rob
- 04-13-15
A terrific listen from. beginning to end!
A terrific listen that you hope will not end. I'm on a 3rd or 4th llisten.. The storyline and narration are first class throughout the book. I'm hoping for a sequel.
Get this one - you won't be sorry.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!