Woof-a-Pedia: The Ultimate Dog Breed Guide
By Zero Woofs Given Press

So, you think you want a dog.

Maybe you've dreamed of peaceful hikes, emotional support snuggles, and a loyal companion who just gets you.
What you actually get? Barking at dust. Questionable decisions at 2 a.m. Hair. So much hair.

Woof-a-Pedia is here to keep it real.

This isn’t some watered-down breed guide where every dog is “great for families” and “easy to train.”
This is the truth-before-trauma handbook for anyone thinking about getting a dog—and anyone already in too deep.

Inside, you’ll find brutally honest profiles for 250+ dog breeds, written for real people with real lives and limited patience. Whether you’re a first-timer trying to avoid disaster or a seasoned dog owner wondering why you did this again, Woof-a-Pedia gives you the clarity (and warning labels) the internet never did.

✔ Which dogs match your chaos level.
Energetic? Anxious? A fan of napping aggressively? There’s a breed for that—and we’ll tell you if it’ll wreck your lifestyle.

✔ Personality traits that actually matter.
Independent doesn’t mean chill. Loyal doesn’t mean low-effort. “High intelligence” means they’ll outsmart you and steal your lunch.

✔ Health & grooming expectations.
Is it a dog or a walking vet bill in a fur coat? We’ll flag the high-maintenance divas, the low-key legends, and everything in between.

✔ Training red flags (and green lights).
From crate-training basics to leash etiquette, we keep it practical and shame-free—because not every dog wants to please, and not every owner was born knowing what a “long-line” is.

• People who want a dog that fits their actual life—not the Pinterest version

• Parents, singles, seniors, and anyone tired of pretending every dog is “a good boy”

• Readers who prefer sarcasm over sugar-coating and want facts that don’t suck the joy out of dog ownership

Whether you're adopting your first mutt, investing in a purebred, or just curious what kind of emotional damage a Chihuahua brings to the table, Woof-a-Pedia has you covered.

We’re not here to convince you that every dog is right for you.
We’re here to make sure you pick the one that won’t destroy your sanity (or your baseboards).

Because at the end of the day, dogs are chaos. This book just helps you choose your favorite flavor.
Welcome to Zero Woofs Given. You’re one of us now.