
Why Marriages Succeed or Fail
And How You Can Make Yours Last
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Narrated by:
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Paul Costanzo
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By:
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John M. Gottman
About this listen
Psychologist John Gottman has spent twenty years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage. You'll also learn:
- More sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage
- Frequent arguing will not lead to divorce
- Financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship
- Wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years
- There is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments- and there's a way around it
Dr. Gottman tells you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage - contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling - and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how.
Download the accompanying reference guide.©1994 John Gottman (P)2012 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict, with more than 90 percent accuracy, whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A five-step guide for building better connections with family, friends, and lovers, The Relationship Cure offers a simple but profound program that will fundamentally transform the quality of all the relationships in your life.
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By: John Gottman PhD, and others
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In prospective, long-term research with over 700 couples, Gottman has discovered certain factors that distinguish happy, stable couples from both unstable, ultimately divorcing couples and stable but unhappy couples. These findings, which are explained here in understandable, nontechnical language, form the basis of his Sound Marital House theory of marriage, which guides the new therapy. This therapy has two goals: changing the marital friendship and teaching couples to regulate conflict.
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- Narrated by: Jon Vertullo
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The highly influential book The Marriage Clinic presented a complete marital therapy program based on John Gottman's much-heralded research on marital success and failure. Since then, Dr. Gottman has collaborated with his wife, clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Gottman, to conduct their well-known Love Lab studies, allowing the pair to design a highly successful couples' workshop and develop their Sound Relationship House theory.
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Eight Dates
- Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
- By: John Gottman PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, Doug Abrams, and others
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin, Julie McKay
- Length: 5 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort - and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on 40 years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams.
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What the F. Robot-reader???!?!?!
- By Anonymous User on 01-21-20
By: John Gottman PhD, and others
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10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy
- By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, John M. M. Gottman PhD, Daniel J. Siegel - foreword
- Narrated by: Kitty Hendrix
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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In 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy, two of the world's leading couple researchers and therapists give listeners an inside tour of what goes on inside the consulting rooms of their practice. They have been doing couples work for decades and still find it challenging and full of learning experiences. This book distills the knowledge they've gained over their years of practice into 10 principles at the core of good couples work. Each principle is illustrated with a clinically compiled case plus personal side-notes and storytelling.
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Excellent book!
- By Amazon Customer on 01-22-19
By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, and others
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Fight Right
- How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection
- By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, John Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: Roy Worley, Kiiri Sandy
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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How we fight predicts the future of our relationships. Most of us blunder into conflict without knowing what we are really fighting about and then quickly become overwhelmed by physiological responses we can’t control and emotions we don’t anticipate. The truth is the happiest and most successful couples fight—all the time. Conflict is human, and necessary.
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Excellent summary of their research
- By Robert B. Davis on 02-28-24
By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, and others
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Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
- The Heart of Parenting
- By: John Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: Roy Worley
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on 20 years of research at the University of Washington studying parent-child interactions, award-winning research psychologist John Gottman and his team have developed Emotion Coaching - a technique parents can use to teach their children self-awareness and self-control and to foster good emotional development. This proven technique has demonstrated a positive effect on children's physical health, academic achievement, and emotional well-being.
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My parenting philosophy, in writing!
- By Dave on 03-03-21
By: John Gottman PhD
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And Baby Makes Three
- The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives
- By: John M. Gottman PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Having a baby is a joyous experience, but even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework, and new fiscal concerns often lead to conflict, disappointment, and hurt feelings. In And Baby Makes Three, Love Lab™ experts John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman teach couples the skills from their successful workshops, so partners can avoid the pitfalls of parenthood.
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More couple's therapy than adapting with new baby.
- By Bridget on 08-19-17
By: John M. Gottman PhD, and others
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Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage
- America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship
- By: John Gottman PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, Joan DeClaire
- Narrated by: L.J. Ganser, Anne Gartlan
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict, with more than 90-percent accuracy, whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods.
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This book was a great tool!
- By Keonna Simpson on 07-12-17
By: John Gottman PhD, and others
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Esther Perel's Where Should We Begin?: The Arc of Love
- By: Esther Perel
- Narrated by: Esther Perel
- Length: 4 hrs and 38 mins
- Original Recording
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For her latest Audible Original, Where Should We Begin?: The Arc of Love, Esther Perel invites you to listen to private and intimate conversations exploring the evolution of relationships. Hear six sets of people at different points in their quests for romantic and familial love, including a young couple whose immigration status has forced them to consider marriage, a stepmother trying to put the pieces back together for four children whose mother died by suicide, a nonbinary child desperate to connect with their single mother, and more.
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Not Nearly as Good as the Podcast
- By LAX2NRT on 10-09-18
By: Esther Perel
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Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away
- By: Gary Chapman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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When you said, “I do”, you entered marriage with high hopes, dreaming it would be supremely happy. You never intended for it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn’t have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, “I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage.”
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encouragement through another chance
- By Brookley on 09-19-18
By: Gary Chapman
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Hold Me Tight
- Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
- By: Dr. Sue Johnson EdD
- Narrated by: Helen Keeley
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Heralded by the New York Times and Time as the couples therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond.
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No PDFs
- By Michelle Johann on 09-11-20
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Rebuilding Trust
- Guided Therapy Techniques and Activities to Restore Love, Trust, and Intimacy in Your Relationship
- By: Morgan Johnson MA LPC, Gina Senarighi PhD CPC - foreword
- Narrated by: Ann Sprinkle
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Of all the ways relationships fall apart, betrayal can rock us to the core. And yet, for couples or partners who want to stay together and do the work, healing is possible. The old relationships that no longer serve us can be dismantled and reassembled into deeper, stronger, more satisfying bonds than we ever imagined.
By: Morgan Johnson MA LPC, and others
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Love Sense
- The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships
- By: Dr. Sue Johnson
- Narrated by: Dr. Sue Johnson
- Length: 12 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Every day, we hear of relationships failing and questions of whether humans are meant to be monogamous. Love Sense presents new scientific evidence that tells us that humans are meant to mate for life. Dr. Johnson explains that romantic love is an attachment bond, just like that between mother and child, and shows us how to develop our "love sense" - our ability to develop long-lasting relationships. Love is not the least bit illogical or random, but actually an ordered and wise recipe for survival.
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No real tips on HOW to become more securely attach
- By Sophia on 11-10-15
By: Dr. Sue Johnson
What listeners say about Why Marriages Succeed or Fail
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Overall
- Evan Makovsky
- 11-16-18
Gottman is gdeat
John Hoffman gives real life applicable strategies off his research. I've known and studied him in the past. But now I'm my good relationship that has normal challenges I have coping mechanisms I didn't have prior. I recommend this!
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- gershom Joseph
- 12-06-18
Great reading excellent information
This is a great resource of information for marital couples. I will read again and pass it on to others.
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- Code6Charli
- 12-24-15
Narrator is blah
Great book. A couple points I don't agree with, but overall there is a lot to take away. The downfall for the audio book is the narrator. He sounds like a computer and is not the right person to narrate conversations that couples have.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kat
- 05-28-22
Perspective from a divorcee
Definitely put a different outlook on my failed marriage; however, it lead to better things. Now using the book for the betterment any future relationship. Definitely worth reading for anybody who is contemplating or has been divorced. Or anyone who just needs to strengthen their marriage.
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- Chytuck
- 03-15-24
Talked mostly about positive 5/1
Very repetitive could have be shorter got kind of the same thing to many times
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- Kristi Hensley
- 03-02-15
Sizing up your marriage
Dr Gottman is wonderful about putting everyday trials of marriage into manageable struggles. If you fight with your spouse constantly, read this book. If you feel your spouse does not understand you, read this book. Don't wait till the divorce lawyers are in the picture to look for help!
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5 people found this helpful
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- Murphy Family
- 03-23-19
Oh That's Why!!!!
I have learned valuable information and gained so much understanding from this book. Puzzles I have had for years have come to form a more complete picture. I can see in what way I caused so much stress to my exhusband now with my naturally volitile communication style. And I can now look for a man with a similar conflict resolution style with whom to enjoy lively, analytical discussions! Hoorah! I'm not an angry or disrespectful person just because I don't shy away from disagreements. It's just a different style that not everyone likes in a spouse but some, like me, really do. Through this book, this abstract thought of wanting someone more like me has focused and solidified into a concrete concept with easily understood terms. Yay! I'm not a negative, critical, or judgemental person just because I voice to my complaints and love to sometimes take meaning apart to discover what makes it tick. Fighting is not wrong. It's apart of life. Let's just keep it in the ring and above the belt. I totally ate up the concepts in this book on how to not fight dirty. The 4 horsemen are easy to remember and I'm excited to watch my interactions more closely more to make sure they don't creep in. This book is so inspirational. I love that he drew his conclusions from years of experiments rather than just observations with clients. And that he still brought specific examples up for readers to see more clearly what he was explaining.
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- Sean Davis
- 01-09-18
Great content, delivery is a little stiff
This book will transform your relationships if you let it, but I thought the narrator was a bit robotic sounding and it was distracting until I got used to his style.
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- colette
- 01-01-17
Required reading
Anyone remotely considering getting married should read this book.
I wish I had read it years ago.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Archdrafter
- 02-13-17
Extremely Valuable Information
After studying the content of this book and applying its principles in our marriage, we are firmly on the path to healing.
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