
The Teleportation Accident
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $21.81
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Dudley Hinton
-
By:
-
Ned Beauman
About this listen
Longlisted for the 2012 Man Booker Prize. The fantastically inventive, ingenious and hilarious new novel from Ned Beauman.
History happened while you were hungover.
When you haven't had sex in a long time, it feels like the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone. If you're living in Germany in the 1930s, it probably isn't. But that's no consolation to Egon Loeser, whose carnal misfortunes will push him from the experimental theatres of Berlin to the absinthe bars of Paris to the physics laboratories of Los Angeles, trying all the while to solve two mysteries: whether it was really a deal with Satan that claimed the life of his hero, the great Renaissance stage designer Adriano Lavicini; and why a handsome, clever, charming, modest guy like him can't, just once in a while, get himself laid.
From the author of the acclaimed Boxer, Beetle comes a historical novel that doesn't know what year it is; a noir novel that turns all the lights on; a romance novel that arrives drunk to dinner; a science fiction novel that can't remember what 'isotope' means; a stunningly inventive, exceptionally funny, dangerously unsteady and (largely) coherent novel about sex, violence, space, time, and how the best way to deal with history is to ignore it.
Let's hope the party was worth it.
©2012 Ned Beauman (P)2012 Hodder & StoughtonListeners also enjoyed...
-
Venomous Lumpsucker
- By: Ned Beauman
- Narrated by: John Hastings
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tens of thousands of species are going extinct every year. And a whole industry has sprung up around their extinctions, to help us preserve the remnants, or perhaps just assuage our guilt. For instance, the biobanks: secure archives of DNA samples, from which lost organisms might someday be resurrected. But one day, a mysterious cyber-attack hits every biobank simultaneously, wiping out the last traces of the perished species. Karin Resaint and Mark Halyard are concerned with one species in particular: the venomous lumpsucker, the most intelligent fish on the planet.
-
-
A delicious fictional romp through the philosophical questions related to human impacts on the planet.
- By Wyomingite on 04-26-25
By: Ned Beauman
-
The Secret Hours
- By: Mick Herron
- Narrated by: Gerard Doyle
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Two years ago, a hostile Prime Minister launched the Monochrome inquiry, investigating "historical over-reaching" by the British Secret Service “to investigate historical over-reaching.” Monochrome’s mission was to ferret out any hint of misconduct by any MI5 officer—and allowed Griselda Fleet and Malcolm Kyle, the two civil servants seconded to the project, unfettered access to any and all confidential information in the Service archives in order to do so. But MI5’s formidable First Desk did not become Britain’s top spy by accident, and she has successfully thwarted the inquiry at every turn.
-
-
Just about perfect
- By June Lapidow on 09-28-23
By: Mick Herron
-
Snow
- A Novel
- By: John Banville
- Narrated by: John Lee
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The incomparable Booker Prize winner’s next great crime novel - the story of a family whose secrets resurface when a parish priest is found murdered in their ancestral home. Detective Inspector St. John Strafford has been summoned to County Wexford to investigate a murder. A parish priest has been found dead in Ballyglass House, the family seat of the aristocratic, secretive Osborne family.
-
-
Don't read this is you have been sexually abused
- By Babs on 10-26-20
By: John Banville
-
The Mountain in the Sea
- A Novel
- By: Ray Nayler
- Narrated by: Eunice Wong
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Rumors begin to spread of a species of hyperintelligent, dangerous octopus that may have developed its own language and culture. Marine biologist Dr. Ha Nguyen, who has spent her life researching cephalopod intelligence, will do anything for the chance to study them. The transnational tech corporation DIANIMA has sealed the remote Con Dao Archipelago, where the octopuses were discovered, off from the world. Dr. Nguyen joins DIANIMA’s team on the islands: a battle-scarred security agent and the world’s first android.
-
-
Enjoyable and interesting
- By AudioReader on 10-10-22
By: Ray Nayler
-
The Anomaly
- A Novel
- By: Hervé Le Tellier, Adriana Hunter - translator
- Narrated by: Dominic Hoffman
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In June 2021, a senseless event upends the lives of hundreds of men and women, all passengers on a flight from Paris to New York. Among them: Blake, a respectable family man, though he works as a contract killer; Slimboy, a Nigerian pop star tired of living a lie; Joanna, a formidable lawyer whose flaws have caught up with her; and Victor Miesel, a critically acclaimed yet commercially unsuccessful writer who suddenly becomes a cult hit. All of them believed they had double lives. None imagined just how true that was.
-
-
Dont Believe The Hype ;(
- By Aaron K on 01-10-22
By: Hervé Le Tellier, and others
-
Library at Mount Char
- By: Scott Hawkins
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 16 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Carolyn's not so different from the other human beings around her. After all, she was a normal American herself once. That was a long time ago, of course - before the time she calls "adoption day", when she and a dozen other children found themselves being raised by a man they learned to call Father.
-
-
Not Your Local Library
- By Lorfet on 04-05-16
By: Scott Hawkins
-
Venomous Lumpsucker
- By: Ned Beauman
- Narrated by: John Hastings
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tens of thousands of species are going extinct every year. And a whole industry has sprung up around their extinctions, to help us preserve the remnants, or perhaps just assuage our guilt. For instance, the biobanks: secure archives of DNA samples, from which lost organisms might someday be resurrected. But one day, a mysterious cyber-attack hits every biobank simultaneously, wiping out the last traces of the perished species. Karin Resaint and Mark Halyard are concerned with one species in particular: the venomous lumpsucker, the most intelligent fish on the planet.
-
-
A delicious fictional romp through the philosophical questions related to human impacts on the planet.
- By Wyomingite on 04-26-25
By: Ned Beauman
-
The Secret Hours
- By: Mick Herron
- Narrated by: Gerard Doyle
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Two years ago, a hostile Prime Minister launched the Monochrome inquiry, investigating "historical over-reaching" by the British Secret Service “to investigate historical over-reaching.” Monochrome’s mission was to ferret out any hint of misconduct by any MI5 officer—and allowed Griselda Fleet and Malcolm Kyle, the two civil servants seconded to the project, unfettered access to any and all confidential information in the Service archives in order to do so. But MI5’s formidable First Desk did not become Britain’s top spy by accident, and she has successfully thwarted the inquiry at every turn.
-
-
Just about perfect
- By June Lapidow on 09-28-23
By: Mick Herron
-
Snow
- A Novel
- By: John Banville
- Narrated by: John Lee
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The incomparable Booker Prize winner’s next great crime novel - the story of a family whose secrets resurface when a parish priest is found murdered in their ancestral home. Detective Inspector St. John Strafford has been summoned to County Wexford to investigate a murder. A parish priest has been found dead in Ballyglass House, the family seat of the aristocratic, secretive Osborne family.
-
-
Don't read this is you have been sexually abused
- By Babs on 10-26-20
By: John Banville
-
The Mountain in the Sea
- A Novel
- By: Ray Nayler
- Narrated by: Eunice Wong
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Rumors begin to spread of a species of hyperintelligent, dangerous octopus that may have developed its own language and culture. Marine biologist Dr. Ha Nguyen, who has spent her life researching cephalopod intelligence, will do anything for the chance to study them. The transnational tech corporation DIANIMA has sealed the remote Con Dao Archipelago, where the octopuses were discovered, off from the world. Dr. Nguyen joins DIANIMA’s team on the islands: a battle-scarred security agent and the world’s first android.
-
-
Enjoyable and interesting
- By AudioReader on 10-10-22
By: Ray Nayler
-
The Anomaly
- A Novel
- By: Hervé Le Tellier, Adriana Hunter - translator
- Narrated by: Dominic Hoffman
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In June 2021, a senseless event upends the lives of hundreds of men and women, all passengers on a flight from Paris to New York. Among them: Blake, a respectable family man, though he works as a contract killer; Slimboy, a Nigerian pop star tired of living a lie; Joanna, a formidable lawyer whose flaws have caught up with her; and Victor Miesel, a critically acclaimed yet commercially unsuccessful writer who suddenly becomes a cult hit. All of them believed they had double lives. None imagined just how true that was.
-
-
Dont Believe The Hype ;(
- By Aaron K on 01-10-22
By: Hervé Le Tellier, and others
-
Library at Mount Char
- By: Scott Hawkins
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 16 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Carolyn's not so different from the other human beings around her. After all, she was a normal American herself once. That was a long time ago, of course - before the time she calls "adoption day", when she and a dozen other children found themselves being raised by a man they learned to call Father.
-
-
Not Your Local Library
- By Lorfet on 04-05-16
By: Scott Hawkins
-
Birnam Wood
- A Novel
- By: Eleanor Catton
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 12 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A landslide has closed the Korowai Pass on New Zealand’s South Island, cutting off the town of Thorndike and leaving a sizable farm abandoned. The disaster presents an opportunity for Birnam Wood, an undeclared, unregulated, sometimes-criminal, sometimes-philanthropic guerrilla gardening collective that plants crops wherever no one will notice. For years, the group has struggled to break even. To occupy the farm at Thorndike would mean a shot at solvency at last. But the enigmatic American billionaire Robert Lemoine also has an interest in the place.
-
-
Outstanding thriller w/ exceptional character development
- By Bradley T. Collins on 04-21-23
By: Eleanor Catton
-
Blindsight
- By: Peter Watts
- Narrated by: T. Ryder Smith
- Length: 11 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Set in 2082, Peter Watts' Blindsight is fast-moving, hard SF that pulls readers into a futuristic world where a mind-bending alien encounter is about to unfold. After the Firefall, all eyes are locked heavenward as a team of specialists aboard the self-piloted spaceship Theseus hurtles outbound to intercept an unknown intelligence.
-
-
Gothic Horror Hard Science Fiction
- By Doug D. Eigsti on 06-24-15
By: Peter Watts
-
Gnomon
- By: Nick Harkaway
- Narrated by: Ben Onwukwe
- Length: 29 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the world of Gnomon, citizens are constantly observed and democracy has reached a pinnacle of "transparency". Every action is seen, every word is recorded, and the System has access to its citizens' thoughts and memories - all in the name of providing the safest society in history. When suspected dissident Diana Hunter dies in government custody, it marks the first time a citizen has been killed during an interrogation. The System doesn't make mistakes, but something isn't right about the circumstances surrounding Hunter's death.
-
-
Excellent, challenging, not a “beach read”
- By Mark Hancock on 12-09-18
By: Nick Harkaway
-
The Heart's Invisible Furies
- A Novel
- By: John Boyne
- Narrated by: Stephen Hogan
- Length: 21 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Cyril Avery is not a real Avery - or at least that's what his adoptive parents tell him. And he never will be. But if he isn't a real Avery, then who is he? Born out of wedlock to a teenage girl cast out from her rural Irish community and adopted by a well-to-do if eccentric Dublin couple via the intervention of a hunchbacked Redemptorist nun, Cyril is adrift in the world, anchored only tenuously by his heartfelt friendship with the infinitely more glamourous and dangerous Julian Woodbead.
-
-
Outstanding. A Must listen.
- By Keith G on 09-04-17
By: John Boyne
-
Translation State
- By: Ann Leckie
- Narrated by: Adjoa Andoh
- Length: 12 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Enae's grandmaman passes away, Enae inherits something unexpected: a diplomatic assignment to track down a fugitive who has been missing for over 200 years. No one actually expects Enae to succeed; it's an empty assignment meant to keep hir occupied. But Enae has never had a true purpose—no one ever expected hir to do more than care for grandmaman—so sie is determined to accomplish this task to the best of her ability.
-
-
Single themed and not on par with the series
- By Andrew Pollack on 07-01-23
By: Ann Leckie
-
The Netanyahus
- An Account of a Minor and Ultimately Even Negligible Episode in the History of a Very Famous Family
- By: Joshua Cohen
- Narrated by: Joshua Cohen, David Duchovny, Ethan Herschenfeld
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Corbin College, not quite upstate New York, winter 1959-1960: Ruben Blum, a Jewish historian—but not an historian of the Jews—is co-opted onto a hiring committee to review the application of an exiled Israeli scholar specializing in the Spanish Inquisition. When Benzion Netanyahu shows up for an interview, family unexpectedly in tow, Blum plays the reluctant host to guests who proceed to lay waste to his American complacencies. Mixing fiction with nonfiction, the campus novel with the lecture, The Netanyahus is a wildly inventive comedy of blending, identity, and politics.
-
-
Phillip Roth would certainly listen!
- By Martin on 01-17-22
By: Joshua Cohen
-
Mystery Man
- By: Colin Bateman
- Narrated by: Stephen Armstrong
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
He’s the Man With No Name and the owner of No Alibis, a mystery bookshop in Belfast. But when a detective agency next door goes bust, the agency’s clients start calling into his shop asking him to solve their cases. It’s not as if there’s any danger involved. It’s an easy way to sell books to his gullible customers and Alison, the beautiful girl in the jewellery shop across the road, will surely be impressed. Except she’s not – because she can see the bigger picture.
-
-
Mystery, humor & literary nuances - GREAT
- By Toby on 09-06-13
By: Colin Bateman
-
Restless
- By: William Boyd
- Narrated by: Rosamund Pike
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
"I am Eva Delectorskaya," Sally Gilmartin announces, and so on a warm summer afternoon in 1976 her daughter, Ruth, learns that everything she ever knew about her mother was a carefully constructed lie. Sally Gilmartin is a respectable English widow living in picturesque Cotswold village; Eva Delectorskaya was a rigorously trained World War II spy, a woman who carried fake passports and retreated to secret safe houses, a woman taught to lie and deceive, and above all, to never trust anyone. Three decades later the secrets of Sally's past still haunt her.
-
-
Favorite Book of 2007
- By Susianna on 12-27-07
By: William Boyd
-
March Violets
- By: Philip Kerr
- Narrated by: John Lee
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hailed by Salman Rushdie as a "brilliantly innovative thriller-writer", Philip Kerr is the creator of taut, gripping, noir-tinged mysteries set in Nazi-era Berlin that are nothing short of spellbinding. The first book of the Berlin Noir trilogy, March Violets introduces listeners to Bernie Gunther, an ex-policeman who thought he'd seen everything on the streets of 1930s Berlin - until he turned freelance and each case he tackled sucked him further into the grisly excesses of Nazi subculture.
-
-
Brilliant Nazi Era Mystery
- By Constance on 05-04-12
By: Philip Kerr
-
The Daughter of Doctor Moreau
- By: Silvia Moreno-Garcia
- Narrated by: Gisela Chípe
- Length: 11 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Carlota Moreau: A young woman growing up on a distant and luxuriant estate, safe from the conflict and strife of the Yucatán peninsula. The only daughter of a researcher who is either a genius or a madman. Montgomery Laughton: A melancholic overseer with a tragic past and a propensity for alcohol. An outcast who assists Dr. Moreau with his experiments, which are financed by the Lizaldes, owners of magnificent haciendas and plentiful coffers. The hybrids: The fruits of the doctor’s labor, destined to blindly obey their creator and remain in the shadows.
-
-
High hopes dashed
- By Darryl on 07-21-22
-
The Comedians
- By: Graham Greene
- Narrated by: Joseph Porter
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Three men meet on a ship bound for Haiti, where corruption and terror reign. Disillusioned and noncommittal, they are the “comedians” of Greene’s title, hiding from life’s pain and love behind their chosen masks.
-
-
We are bad comedians, we aren't bad men
- By Darwin8u on 11-20-12
By: Graham Greene
-
Shrines of Gaiety
- A Novel
- By: Kate Atkinson
- Narrated by: Jason Watkins
- Length: 15 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
1926, and in a country still recovering from the Great War, London has become the focus for a delirious new nightlife. In the clubs of Soho, peers of the realm rub shoulders with starlets, foreign dignitaries with gangsters, and girls sell dances for a shilling a time. The notorious queen of this glittering world is Nellie Coker, ruthless but also ambitious to advance her six children, including the enigmatic eldest, Niven, whose character has been forged in the crucible of the Somme. But success breeds enemies, and Nellie’s empire faces threats from without and within.
-
-
Rich characters of all stripes
- By Glorious Lorius on 11-09-22
By: Kate Atkinson